Who Makes the Choices? Clothes, Piercing, Etc.

I make the choices but my kids were always free to make their case. It worked out pretty well for us.

I try not to make rules like you can't do this till this age. It seems to me that will create the I can't wait until I am this to do that so even though they may not have chose to do that at this age, they will want to anyway because now they can. It is always yes or no at this point in time.

H.,
I think you are adorable! You are a planner!
I think you have some great ideas, but I wouldn't over think this stuff too much. At five years old it is easy to dictate these codes, but at about age 9 things start to get a little dicey, and by 15........ Yowzer! When you say "When he's older, we'll be revisiting some of this..." that tells me you are a wise woman.

I could pretty easily dictate to son #1 and he followed a pretty straight and narrow path. Son #2 always liked to buck the system and I had to relinquish some control pretty early on. He taught me how to draw a wavy line in the sand and that helped keep him from spiraling out of control. At age 9 I let him frost his hair (not a battle I wanted to fight). Being flexible may have helped keep him from getting his first tattoo until he was a junior in college......

My 6 year old son chooses his clothing and hairstyle, and has for years. I don't really set rules except he has to wear clothing! His hair hes had various types of mohawks, from short to the old school long ones. He resently said he wants his ear peiced and once we have time I'll take him. As far as my daughter goes she's only 6 months old so I pick her clothing. I got her ears pierced at 3 months old. It worked for her, she didn't even flinch. When she gets old enough She will pick out her clothes to fit her style and personality.And the same rule will apply to her she had to be fully clothed. Personally I don't care how people dress Thier kids, not my kids not my problem.

With my son, who is 6 and daughter, 4:
They pretty much pick out their own clothes. If they aren't appropriate for the occasion (say, "painty clothes" for a Baptism) we exercise veto power. Their wardrobes consists mostly of hand-me-downs and grandma-purchased stuff. Upon receipt of the hand-me-downs my husband and I go through them and donate anything we don't care for. We like my son's hair short and he hasn't fought us on it. As they gets older, I guess we'll deal with other stuff like piercings, etc. My gut reaction is to tell them"There is a time and a place for that and it's called college." But I don't know yet if that's how I'll really respond. I don't mind if my daughter gets her ears pierced when she gets a little older, it feels like a rite of passage for a girl.
I feel like I have neither guidelines nor reasoning, just a couple of kids who haven't really pushed the envelope yet.

My daughter is 6 and wears a uniform to school so choosing clothes in the morning is easy (except when she has to wear the polo and not the t-shirt, grrr).

I let her pick out what she likes and at 6 she does not ask for anything to crazy. I do let her wear tees with characters on them, like SpongeBob, Wonder Woman, princesses etc. I also let her pick her shoes and sneakers, but since she has a wide width there is not always a big selection.

Now my step daughter will choose her own clothes too, but our biggest problem is that everything is black (I know she will grow out of this phase). She doesn’t like any part of her body hanging out so that’s never an issue (I wish her bio-mom felt the same about that). She and her brother have never asked for tattoos or piercings.

My husband and I let them express themselves with their clothing choices but we do have them talk (or ask) to us before deciding on anything long term. They seem to understand that once they are out in the real world the way they look will effect where they work, etc.

For our SD it is mainly my husband's responsibility and he will ask me my opinion but it's between the two of them. A lot of times I will go to bat for her b/c he is extremely conservative and I have to gently remind him that hair grows back, the shorts aren't too short, she is 17 honey ~ those kinds of things.
We have 2 boys together and they are 4 and 8 and for now they wear what we buy/supply so no big issues yet. My 4 y/o picks out his own clothes. Some days it makes sense and even matches, other days he wants to wear his batman costume to the store. If he is covered and warm enough/not too hot I don't really care what he wears. My 8 y/o could care less what he wears and will ask me "shorts and t-shirt today or do I need pants, etc" I do pick or help them pick clothes for special occasions, pictures, church, stuff like that.
Neither of us like the baggy show off your underwear pants so I am pretty sure our boys won't have the opportunity to express themselves that way!
We do agree that hair is just hair and that the kids should have an outlet for creativity and such so we will give room to express themselves in that regard. My husband is completely against boys wearing earrings and ours know it's not an option until they are 18. Tattoos are their choice once they hit 18. We are not against them (I have 4), but hope they pick something that is important to them. I am looking forward to taking my SD to get her 1st tattoo for her 18th bday :) she knows what she wants and all four parents are on board.

I worry more about my SD's mom than her! SD's mom likes to buy her revealing clothing or lets her buy and wear whatever she wants. My SD is an innocent-type 11-year old child and if someone tells her that fish net stockings are cool, she'll want to wear fish net stockings. If someone tells her not to, she won't. She wears mom's clothing to our house, to which she usually changes, and then wears it back to mom's house.

I have veto power but all the times I've ever taken her shopping she's never chosen anything revealing or wrong. Maybe it's also because I take her to stores appropriate for her age! Sometimes we will decide together that a certain style doesn't look good on her. But she's very easy to shop for.

I do have to help her put outfits together. There was a girl at school who obviously dressed herself and did her own hair. Her hair was always knotted, she smelled (probably because she didn't shower often) and her outfits never matched. Now, if I left my SD alone to manage herself, she ALSO would have smelled (because she never wants to take a shower!), her hair would have been knotted (because she never wanted me to brush it and she didn't get the tangles out herself), and she wouldn't have matched either because she doesn't know how to put outfits together. The poor mis-matched girl--the other kids made fun of her because she smelled and never matched. My SD didn't want to be like her, so I help her match up her clothes and remind her that other people can smell her when she doesn't shower!

At her mom's house, she does smell (because no one makes her shower so she will go 4+ days with no shower!) and she will be either mis-matched or wear slutty clothing. Nothing I can do so I don't even try. I just hope that she will eventually understand how to match clothing on her own.

If she's set on wearing something at our house, if it's not slutty then I don't care. Usually she makes pretty good choices and if it's just a matching issue I let it go.

Also, her mom pierced her ears at age 4. They were always getting infected. We let her double pierce this year but she didn't take care of them. If I could do it over, I'd wait. But that's just me and she's not my kid.

She can wear her hair however she wants. It's just hair! I just tell her it has to be brushed and clean.

I make the rules in my house. ALL clothing has to be within my standards or I'll burn it. So far I haven't had to do that and since I'm still buying my kids clothes I still make most of the decisions LOL

They do have input into what they like. My oldest son his shirts have to be long enough, my youngest son has sensory issues so we have to be careful of the materials, and my daughter ... well let me just say that if it doesn't fit the school dress code (for the most part) it CAN NOT be worn outside of the house (booty shorts ... not in this lifetime). But she's pretty modest on her own anyway so it's never been a fight. I have final approval on my kids clothes until they are over 18 AND buying them with their own money.

Piercings: I pierced my daughters ears at 3 months ... she got them pierced a second time at 13. Body ... none till she's 18, she's still growing and they can become a problem if gotten too young. Tattoos: 18 ... that's the law and any reputable tattoo parlor won't do them on people under 18, also there's that still growing issue.

Hair: it's just hair ... it will grow back/out ... do what you want with it.

Dating: NO DATING till 16. Supervised group activities is ok ... single dates ... NO.

My ex and I disagreed about when our daughter could get her ears pierced. To circumvent me, he told her that they'll get infected and fall off...
At 13, she wanted them pierced and had a turquoise feather put in her hair. She wears her hair how she chooses (usually in a pony tail). She's conservative in her clothing so its never been an issue. If we're going somewhere I'll say to wear something nice and she does. I'm still trying to convince my son that "nice" isn't basketball shorts and a t-shirt some days.

My son wore his hair longer (referred to is a hockey hair) for years. It drove my ex crazy, but I figure its just hair and its his choice. There are some t-shirts I wouldn't allow (one at the state fair last week said "Money and Hoes"). I told him not at long as he lives in my house. His response, "fine, I'll go live with dad." I told him good luck.

My SS is 14 and just got his ears pierced. His dad and I found out about it on facebook. He was very upset to not be consulted in this decision.

I didn't see Amy's post yet, I'm working my way backward.

I guess I'm way more conservative than you. I have a girl and boy. She got her ears pierced last year, she was 11. I waited until she "asked". She's a tomboy so we jumped right on it! lol She wears what she wants, mostly jean shorts, jeans and tshirts. If she were a "typical" girl and wanted to wear more revealing things, then I would have to say something. But that isn't an issue for a tomboy. As far as her hair goes, she has asked to have some crazy colors but our school doesn't allow it. Otherwise I would let her. Its not a big deal to me.

My son is 9, he said he wanted to get his ears pierced too, we told him 18. There is NO WAY I would let him get anything pierced or tattooed until he is at LEAST 18. Even then is too young in my opinion, but legally I can't stop him. I think they at least need to be at an age where they have an *idea* of what they want to do for a career and not do anything that may jeopardize that. Frankly, I think less of a parent who has their 9 yo sons ears pierced. As far as his clothes goes, I but shorts and tshirts for him, he isn't picky but this year did want name brand shoes so he's getting more aware of whats "cool" and what isn't.

Basically, I try to pick my battles. I generally let them do what they want, my son has had a mohawk, my daughter will wear 5 ponytails to school, etc. As long as it isn't something permanent, isn't immodest or isn't allowed at school, I will allow it.

I allow my kids to make most of their clothing choices, but I have veto power. Most of the time, I let them wear what they want and I will buy clothes that I know they will wear, even if it is not my favorite. For example, my 4 year old daughter dislikes anything frou frou or frilly. She wants "boy" clothing. Plain jeans (no sparkles, rhinestones or flowers stitched on). Most of her shirts, jackets and coats come from the boys section, she loves t-shirts with Bat-man, Angry Birds, Sonic the Hedgehog, robots, motorcycles or animals, or she likes plaid button-up shirts. I prefer not to waste my money, so I buy what I know she will enjoy wearing. I also allow her to wear her dressups, if she wants, if we are going on errands, she has her little batman suit and cape and loves to wear her batman galoshes even in the summertime. When we are playing at home or out running errands, she does not look "put -together" as her outfits are a bit mismatched and silly. I would use my veto power if we were going somewhere that required a more put-together look. I will make her wear a dress and have her hair curled if we are going to church or getting a portrait done, but otherwise I let her choose her clothing.
With my 7 year old daughter, sometimes I have to use my veto power with her dressups because they are immodest and impractical. She can make an outfit out of anything but sometimes her creations are not exactly modest so I will tell her she has to wear leggings under it or something. Of course, these are outfits that she is wearing in our home or yard. We have not yet run into dealing with actual outfits that are inappropriate, mostly because I am the one buying the clothes.
My main thing would be, I am not too worried about what OTHERS think about the kids' clothing choices (I am sure there are plenty of people who might think "heavens, why is that kid wearing an oversized boys sweatshirt with mismatched shorts and freaking galoshes when it's July?" or, with a lot of our neighbors, tank tops are a no-no, due to LDS standards, so they might look down on my kids wearing tank tops. I would draw the line where the outfit makes ME feel uncomfortable rather than going by the standards of my neighbors etc.
Added: neither of my girls has pierced ears, I am not against piercings as I have a nose piercing, but I figure I will leave it up to them to choose if and when they get pierced ears. So far, they absolutely do not want to (they are afraid of the pain) so it will be good to have that as something they have to earn, and take care of themselves, when they get older/if they choose it.

I don't really stress too much over my kids clothing or hair choices. I feel they should have some control over their own appearance. Of course I have the final say because I'm the one buying the stuff, but as long as it's not wildly inappropriate then I don't really care one way or another.
I didn't have a set age for ear piercing. For me it was more about maturity and responsibility. My girls got their ears pierced at 8 and 9 and they were perfectly capable of cleaning their ears and turning their earrings, no big deal.
We live in a pretty conservative and wealthy area so tattoos and body piercings aren't even an issue. It's just not popular or cool here, even at the high school level (which is fine with me lol!!!) The exception is the belly ring which most of the teenage girls DO have. I don't really have a problem with that because it's private, the only time their midriffs are exposed is in a swimsuit. My older daughter (16) has one.

My kids are older (11 & 14) but the easiest solution for me regarding clothes is to only buy what I will allow them to wear to begin with. If it isn't in the house, they can't choose it. Gradually, we let them have more and more say in what they wear. We are at the point now that we rarely intervene with their choices, but that is after many years of "helping" them make appropriate choices (school, church, dinner out, a friends house, playdate, beach, backyard, movies, etc etc etc).

Once in a while we strongly "encourage" our 11 yr old to wear something a bit more girly (a skirt or dress?) to church. And sometimes make them change if they put on jeans with a hole in the knee for school (around the house/neighborhood it's ok).
Daughter didn't ask for earrings until she was 10, and that was about the age I was ready, so it wasn't an issue. She has friends who are constantly dying their hair (parents are hair dressers)... but ours will not be allowed to do this. Maybe until they move out. I am not a "fan" of all the hair coloring that everyone does all the time these days, or the streaking or whatever. It strikes me as a huge waste of money for kids who don't have much to waste. And my kids have great hair anyway ;)

Son, we have gone a few rounds over his hair. He wanted it longer a few years ago, and we compromised and let him grow it in the summers. Now he is back into the shorter cuts, and so he gets whatever he wants (barring a mohawk, which he would chicken out of or hate anyway after he did it).

My daughter is free to pick and choose her own clothing and hairstyles within reason. The only limits I place on her hair is while in school she's not allowed to have it crazy colors per the school's rules not mine and she cannot have layers in her hair until she's able to take care of them herself. She is going into the 3rd grade and she has always been given the freedoms to choose how she will dress. I admit I will not allow her to wear clothing anywhere near similar to a teen in spite of her almost being able to shop in that section. She's free to get her first piercing other than ears(which are done)once she is mature enough for one provided it is legal wherever we are living. At this age she doesn't much like my piercings let alone have a desire for one of her own. She can get an actual tattoo at age 18.

My son doesn't have any preference on clothing other than things need to be tag-less and no long sleeves. He has to wear a uniform to school but is free to pick whatever character type of clothing he would like for the weekend. He is 5 and autistic. If my son ever desires a tattoo or piercing he can get one at age 18.

Children need to learn that in the world, you will have to adapt to all kinds of environments, whether you agree with them or not. You won't likely get a job in an office if your face is pierced up, and your forehead is inked. You won't likely get hired anywhere if your hair is pink. You won't likely be respected in public if you dress like a vampire.

In my house, we are conservative when it comes to our appearance. My husband has a tattoo that is covered while he's at work (and he plans to get more, which will also be on places that are easily covered). I don't have any tattoos or piercings (other than my ears) but I would love to get my nose pierced (but I can't because of my job). My 8-year-old was allowed to dye her hair pink for the summer only.

I would not allow them to alter their bodies while living in my home, or at least until after they graduate high school. No body piercings or tattoos during that time. Those are decisions that they need to make when they are mature enough to make them. If they get a tattoo at age 16, and it's something they thought was 'cool' then, they may think it's completely idiotic 5 years later and wish they hadn't done it. I'll take it upon myself as their parent to protect them from themselves in that regard.

I don't have specific age limits on different things like you... because I think it's going to be different for each child and each situation. Maybe if my child is getting excellent grades and happens to be a wonderful responsible soul, I wouldn't think twice about letting her get her nose pierced. It just depends.

I followed what my parents did. My money, my rules. I buy the clothes, I have final say in what she wears.

Now when I was sixteen and bought whatever clothes I wanted to. However, I was always pretty conversative with what I wore. I am hoping my daughter is the same way. :)

My daughter is only 6, so I still buy all of her clothes for her. Luckily, my husband and I agree on what is an what isn't appropriate.

I bought a bathing suit for my daughter at the beginning of summer and had to take it back after I took it home and she tried it on. I didn't realize how deep the front was cut. It was ridiculous and she even felt uncomfortable in it.

As far as piercings go, DD got her ears pierced over the summer for her birthday. I had my ears pierced when I was about 5 years old and she had mentioned wanting to get it done so I told her she had to wait for her 6th birthday. When we went to do it, I made sure to let her know that she could change her mind up until her first ear was pierced. At that point she was going to have to follow through and get the other one done too. There will be no more piercings anywhere on her body until she's 18.

As far as clothing goes, most of the time she chooses her own clothing. I don't really care what she wears as long as it's weather appropriate, unless we're going somewhere special.

I'm like Mamazita. My boys are 8 and 14, and they get to choose clothes and hairstyles, but I do have veto power. I don't have to use it very often, though. My oldest had long, shaggy hair for awhile that I really hated, but I figured it was hair. I'm not going to stress over hair.

Occasionally I will make them change their clothes because we're going to church and I don't approve of what they've picked out, but other than that, they usually make decent choices. I try to guide them rather than dictate to them. So far it has worked pretty well.

I've been thinking about this lately, and your age ranges seem pretty similar to the ones I've come up with. My girls are 2 and 5yo. The outfits the 5yo picks out are definitely interesting. They pretty much never match and are often not really weather appropriate. But, she has sensory issues, so as long as she gets clothes on her body that cover her up, it's all good.

The one that my husband and I disagree on is nail polish. My husband lumps this in with makeup (i.e., doesn't want to allow it for a loooonnnggg time).We've not let the 5yo use nail polish yet. But she colors them with markers or watercolors fairly often, so I'm thinking she might get kid nail polish for her 6 yo birthday. Which, of course, would mean her then 3yo sister will get to do her nails to. (Oh the benefits of being the second....) Hubby is going to have to let this one go.

I make all the decisions pretty much, about clothes and hair. My kids are still pretty young so they do not care about 'style' yet.

My husband did have a strong opinion about getting our daughter's ears pierced. I come from a family that gets all the baby girls ears' pierced when they are babies, myself included. Husband has no girls in his family and feels it should be a 'right of passage' type of thing, when she is A LOT older, so we compromised with 'she can get them when she comes to us and asks for them herself'...which I thought was more than fair.

Since we do dance there are suddenly a lot of near naked little girls on TV all the time. I have started to see a trend in little girls to emulate this style of dress.

It saddens me to realize that moms that are younger than me would see nothing wrong with it. I had to make my granddaughter go change this morning. She had on a Funky Diva top that I bought for her to wear to gymnastics or with her hip hop soffe football capri's to class. It fits close to the skin but is not tight.

It has wider straps like a muscle tank but it's rather thinner than a regular heavy tee shirt. She had on regular shorts and not the matching booty shorts I bought with it but I made her go change out of it. I just don't think it's appropriate school clothing.

I have final say but I do tend to keep the dance clothes in a tub on a shelf in the living room so I do not have to hunt for them at any time. They get worn they go in the dirty clothes, they get washed and dried, they go in the tub in the living room. Easy Peasy.

My kids (5yo boy, 2yo girl) wear hand-me-downs, so I know exactly what's in their closet. My only rule is that they have to match. My son is famous for coming out with red sweat pants and a green t-shirt. I tell him he needs to change one or the other. Even my daughter chooses her own clothes within reason.

When it comes to piercings, etc, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I got my ears pierced when I was 9 or 10, and it was a joint decision for a birthday. I remember they hurt for what felt like weeks!! LOL My 2 sisters and I each were gifted with a tattoo for our 16th birthday, but we weren't forced into it. For us, it was a rite of passage with our mom, and we looked forward to the experience.

I do feel that the child needs to be old enough and mature enough to be able to help in the decision-making.

I'm with you. It was easier when we had just our three boys (now ages 6, 8 & 14). No piercings of any sort until high school, and anything other than the ears will require discussion. Crazy hair cuts like mohawks are fine during the summer. Hair of any length is acceptable as long as it's well maintained. Hair color is for Halloween only. No tattoos until 18 (illegal before then here). Two of the three have very good taste in clothing so that hasn't been an issue. The other one would wear nothing but nylon shorts and t-shirts every day if he could so our only battle with him is that I pick what he wears for family functions. My only general rules with the boys are no camouflage (I think it looks white-trashy), no "wife beaters" worn as anything but an undershirt, and I don't want to see their underwear popping out of their waistband so pull your pants up!

Now my SD...she's 14 and moved in with us almost 2 years ago. He mom started letting her dye her hair wacky colors when she was 11 (hello, trashy?) so the compromise is that she can use manic panic on the underside of her hair but not the top. She already had multiple ear piercings so any other piercings would need to be discussed. Clothing...thankfully she's pretty conservative and compliant. My biggest issue is with shorts. If the world can see your gluteal fold, they're too short. So the goal is a 5 inch inseam, no low-riders, no jeggings, and no tops that show cleavage. Any tops that too loose/too low require a neutral camisole or tank top underneath. No visible bras (either straps hanging out everywhere or colors showing through), no colored underwear with white pants, no thongs, no string bikinis, etc. Tight yoga pants are for the gym or pajamas, not school. For the most part she has no trouble with these rules and when she shops with a friend, will take a pic of the outfit and send to me for a thumbs up before buying. These rules are about not looking sexy and trashy, not about style. I don't care if she wants to be preppy or punk as long as she's covered appropriately.

My kids are 6 and 9.
They do have, clothing preferences and their own "taste" in clothing.
I do get them, what *I* know they will like.
BUT...they do not like skanky clothing. They just have their own personality.
AND also though, I have always spoken to them, about how some clothing choices are just REALLY in bad taste and tacky and skanky. Trashy clothes... my kids call it. They do know the difference. My kids dress like normal kids. But they do have their own taste in clothing and likes and dislikes. Its good. I think its good.

My daughter's Aunty once, TRIED AND TRIED to get my daughter to wear "preppy" clothing & styles. Because that is what she likes. But my daughter, does not like that type of clothing. At all. So try as she may, and Aunty even BOUGHT my daughter some preppy clothing... my daughter will not wear it. I told Aunty that, you cannot FORCE my daughter to wear something she does not like. I myself, do.not.like. preppy clothing.

About piercings... well, at a certain age, a kid CAN do it on their own ya know. ie: *I* did my own ear piercings... when I was a teen. I poked 3 holes in one ear lobe. At home. By myself. In my room. I did it cleanly, it did NOT get infected, and I did a good job. I showed my parents. They did not bat an eyelash. But of course, I was wearing a Mohawk as well, had colored hair etc. BUT I was a good kid, had good grades and good friends. My parents KNEW that. They weren't too hung up on how I looked or about appearances. And my parents are not wild or liberal people. They are, conservative. But I was not. But again, they did not get hung up, on what I wore or what I looked like. All in all, it was a phase. They knew that. And all in all, I was a good kid. THAT is the bottom line, that mattered to them most. Not my hair and not my clothes or color of it etc.

I would tell my own kids, NO tongue piercings.
But my kids at their ages, DO have clothing choices and tastes and preferences. I think, that is good.
They choose what to wear everyday, they get dressed, they look fine and are normal kids.

Right now, me and DH. We choose to have DD wear leggings or shorts under skirts because she runs and plays hard. We don't put her in swimsuits we find too adult for a little girl. We choose shoes without heels because I think there is enough time for heels. As she gets older, she'll have more say, but I'll still buy what I find appropriate to buy. We went through a lot of headache with her big sister with inappropriate underwear coming from either lack of supervision at the mall or lack of caring about the garments bought (cool vs being a parent). If DD wants certain brands later, we'll sit down and talk about the clothes, the finances and decide if it's something I'm willing to buy. And, no, I will not be having black lace thongs in my DD's laundry basket when she is 13. That is a fight I have a dog in this round.

DD can get her ears pierced anytime now. I refrained from doing it as an infant b/c DH objected. But she'll have to be older for a 2nd hole or for a tattoo (her brother got one at 20 and we said, well, it's your choice, hope you like it). SD got hers done on the sly when she was 8. What upset us/DH most was that it was done sneakily and his ex never said, "Hey, DH, SD wants her ears pierced. Mind if I take her?" She just showed up one day with them, and her then xSF had taken her. Then she got in trouble for having ear cleaner at school. But the age wasn't the real problem.

I get DD's opinion on things because she has one and she should like what she wears. It matters little to me if her entire wardrobe is green if that's what makes her happy. I also take her to buy shoes because her feet are wide and it's hard to find what fits without the shoe. If she really hates them, then there's no point in wasting my money.

I will be sad if one day she decides to crop her curls, but it's her hair. Right now I'm choosing not to cut it but I'm sure that day will come.

Our biggest issue with SS was the pants sag, in part because he's tall and thin and to get pants that fit length, he got bigger waists. We told him and SD both that we'd get out the duct tape if we saw underwear. SD learned to grab the back belt loop when she thought her pants might sag. We also taught them there's a time and place. You don't hang out at a wedding or church service. You show respect by covering up. You don't wear ratty jeans to a fancy dinner. Etc.

I have very similiar beliefs like you. As far as ear piercing in girls, though, if my daughter chose now to get it done (she's 5), I would be okay with that. Hubby and I both said we would do it once she really wanted it. As far as clothes, I buy without them most of the time but they do sometimes go with me to choose shoes and such and as long as it's appropriate and not offensive, I dont' mind buying it. I'm not a huge fan of character tshirts (Mickey, Spiderman, etc) but my son LOVES Spiderman so we have a few tshirts with him on it.

As far as coloring hair, I think they should be at least 12 becasue once you start doing it, it's hard to go back to natural without your hair looking crazy and it takes a toll on your hair.

I do try to dress my daughter pretty 'girly'. Skirts, tutus, knee socks, saddle shoes, dresses, etc. But she also wears shorts, tanks, sweatpants, etc. And I do not personally have dress versus play clothes. If I put them in something to wear, I do it assuming they may get paint, playdo, food or drinks on it. IF I am afriad they will get messy/stained, I don't let them wear it until the X occasion I bought it for or save it for Church. This is usually only the case with Christmas and Easter outfits/dresses.

I have raised 3 boys and 3 girls to young adulthood. The rules in my house is no additional piercings (girls had their ears pierced as infants). No tatoos.

You can however do what you want with your hair.

As for clothing, no sagging, no boobs hanging out.

My girls are all well endowed Jessica Rabbit shaped girls. So while they were in my house as teens we all agreed it was better for them to keep it covered. Even covered you could clearly tell they had all the "goods" God gave women in all the right places and then some. LOL

The youngest of the girls is now almost 20 years old and her boobs are almost always out but that is because it is really difficult for her to find shirts that fit her ample bossom properly. She is a DD but a 32 around the back. She has a tatoo but now regrets having it but that was her choice to get one at 18. I explained everything to her about how the body as a woman goes through stretching and the like and what it starts out as it may not look that same way in a few years but she wanted the experience and now she has the tat.

Clothing trends didn't have that much of an impact on my kids because they had to wear uniforms and their groups of personal friends are all pretty conservative in dress and manner. Thank God.

my kids are only 5 and 7 so I still pick my 5 year olds clothes. My daughter (7) still likes the children's place, crazy 8 and old navy, so they are still pretty modest clothes there. I usually let her pick her own stuff, but I am there with her and let her know if it's ok or not. She doesn't have her ears pierced yet. She has been talking about it and she said she wants it when she is 8, so ok! I'll take her when she wants it. If someday my son wants to pierce his ears, then that's ok too. When they turn 18, if they want a tattoo, I will take them to go and get it.

My kids are 5 year old girl and 8 year old boy. My daughter will get a choice "this one or this one?" My son is a t-shirt and jeans kind of kid so he'll usually pick a shirt he likes and I approve it. I figure as long as I'm buying the clothes I have a say in it. As to what they chose to wear everyday, that's a different matter. They can wear whatever they want as long as it's weather appropriate. Sometimes my daughter wears some crazy outfits. LOL If we are going to a gathering I will tell them they have to wear something nice and I'll help them pick out clothes.

My dd is only 3, but I let her pick out her own clothes. Right now everything has to have a character or animal on it or be a dress. I only insist on something if its a situation where she would be uncomfortable, like no dress shoes when we are going trail walking in the woods. When shes old enough to take care of it herself I dont mind if she wants to pierce her ears or whatever. Tatoos she needs to wait until 18 and even then hopefully wait longer, but my husband and I both have tatoos, so I cant really tell her not to get one. I grew up in a household with a mother that was extremely controlling so I would like to give my kids more freedom. I figure if they are doing what is expected of them as far as grades in school and pulling their weight at home with chores, everything else is negotiable.