Who Should Pay for Emergency Room Visit?

I would pay and I would tell them that the children are not welcome in my home or around my children.

Wow. My jaw dropped completely at this. What a horrible situation!

If it were my 2 year old, I would pay the bill. Why? Because I left her in the fray to get run down by two overly rambuntuous boys. Yes, your cousin should have been managing her children, but you also knew how they were, knew what they were doing, and chose not to remove your little one to a safer place. So, you pay the bill. It stinks, but it's the hard truth.

I would make it clear to everyone just how much you paid and that your cousin's children are no longer invited to your home. Perhaps your cousin might be kind enough to offer to pay the cost share, but don't hold your breath.

Pam's situation may have been different, but she does make a good point.

Why did your husband not do more to shut the out-of-control behavior down, since you were busy with cleaning up after dinner? His daughter, too, so he's also responsible for protecting her!

Now, his family = he needs to stand up for you and your child. It sounds as though even pointing out that you were concerned beforehand, and that they didn't follow through on their assurances, will mean that they will not offer to reimburse you. May even cause a rift. Is he willing to chance that, or will you and your children's safety be less important to him than his mommy's feelings?

Take this with a grain of salt, if you will. I'm not known for my tact.

You should pay the bill, unless the relatives offer, which I doubt they will do. And keep the toddler away from these rough housing boys!

The cousin and MIL obviously won't supervise, so that means next time, if there is a next time, you will have to step up to the plate and manage the situation more aggressively, especially if it is in your home. And feel free to point this incident out as a great example.

I would pay the bill. It would be useless to try or expect the irresponsible relatives to cough up anything for what they will not see as their fault nor responsibility. They don't even see supervision of their kids as their responsibility...

Going forward, I would not allow these people back in my home. If they want to visit, do it elsewhere. At a park. Let them rent a room at a hotel. Whatever. But somewhere else, where you will always have the option of removing yourself and your child(ren) from their vicinity by leaving, and where you and your property are neither vulnerable to damage or a lawsuit. I wouldn't be at all surprised if things were slightly different and THEIR child was the one who fell and was injured, if they were to expect your homeowner's policy to cover it. Really. I wouldn't.

Be on guard and don't allow yourself to be in this situation again. It stinks, but there it is. And your husband should back you. It isn't you being overbearing, over protective, or paranoid... this actually has happened, that they showed no regard for your home, your rules, or your child, and she has a concussion to show for it.

Sorry. I hope she is feeling better now.

You pay. Your child, your house, your financial responsibility.

At any given time, you could have said, "cousin, you know I love you and the kids, but someone is going to get hurt here if you can't get the kids to behave."
Then, when that didn't work, you could have easily said, "Kids, you're not listening to me or your mom, so the night is over." And mean it.

If they are staying with you, that means the kids all go to bed right then. If they are staying at a hotel, you just say, "okay guys, the visit is over now." Help them collect their things, say goodnight, and usher them out. No bargaining or negotiating here. No further discussion. Be pleasant, but firm.

I'm not sure why you let this go on for so long. It seems you knew where this was heading. You can't be afraid to say no to people, even if they are your family and especially when safety is concerned.

There have been a couple of kids who have come to our house and acted like your cousin's children. It's no surprise that they were not asked to come back.

Chalk this up to experience. Pay the bills, and be prepared in the future to state and enforce expectations for behavior in your home.

Best to you.

J. F.

You should pay.
You are the parent with the insurance.

And it would be a very long time until I would invite these people back.
I would have made those kids go outside to play like that. Zero tolerance for rough housing inside EVER.

Your home, your child, you pay.

I know that sucks but no judge would make them pay this bill if you were to sue them. Even though cousin was not managing her children, you could have stepped in and told everyone to calm down and no rough housing allowed in your home.

Now, it is perfectly ok to let them know how much the bill is and if they choose to split it with you or pay in full, that would be honorable. Don't expect them to pay a penny because they will claim "it wasn't our fault little 2 yo got in the way" "you should have been watching the 2yo". I can hear that argument already.

From the way you speak of these relatives, I do not think I would have them back in my house.

I am glad your daughter is ok. Chalk it up to a big lesson learned.

It's your responsibility. Accidents happen, and it sounds like they were going hog wild. You said you tried to intervene, but it is your house and you could have stopped it. I won't hesitate to step in and discipline someone's child, esp when things are getting dangerous.

ETA: Some people don't know what they are talking about. If you own your home, you have personal liability insurance, correct? If you do - you can use your personal liability insurance...however...keep in mind - there is most likely a deductible on that as well.

http://www.floridahomeinsurance.com/florida-home-insuranc...

"Florida cities and counties might require all homeowners within the boundaries of the jurisdiction to cover liability insurance. While the replacement of the structure itself is not covered under a liability-only insurance policy, any personal injury or property damage sustained by another person would be covered up to the policy limit"

Call your insurance company and ask them what your policy covers and what the deductible is. You're worried about money, right? It might pick up SOME of the cost...consider the consequences...your rates may go up. You will still have money out of pocket, most likely.

If you don't own. You might have renters insurance - at least you should - and in that you should have personal liability insurance as well.

And YES - you need to use your private health insurance for this. You are worried about the 20% - this is a way to cover that 20%. As I stated...keep in mind the consequences...

original;
If you own your home? Your home owners insurance.

It's your home. I wouldn't make them pay. You failed to control them. You didn't put your foot down hard enough. This is YOUR home. YOUR rules. You should have demanded that they control their children.

I would NOT have them in my home again. If the idea comes up? I would suggest local places, but I will not allow them in my home again.

Did they apologize after your daughter fell and got hurt?
Did the children acknowledge what their actions did?
I ask because if they can't acknowledge their actions and the consequences of those actions - there is more moral compass or integrity - which tells me they are either wired wrong or the parents don't care.

You can tell them to pony up. I doubt very seriously they will pay. And it might just start a family feud. Are you ready for that?

Just pay the bill.
Do NOT allow them in your home again.

Good luck!

I posted a similar question about a child breaking something expensive at our house and what would people do if that was their child. Most people said my problem. So I'm not surprised most people are now saying you pay. Thing is they're "right" in terms of technically who is responsible etc but to me it's a manners issue. I certainly would offer to pay at least some. If it's blatant my child really misbehaved, I would insist on paying all of it. That's the classy thing to do. Sounds like you're not dealing with classy people though and I wasn't either. The child has not been back to my house since this incident btw. It was months ago now. She's a trouble maker in general. So I would at least mention it and hope they will offer but not hold your breath and then decide whether you ever host them again... Sorry this happens. Sucks. Also, I would be saying something to my mother if I was your husband. ie: "Mom, S. told you she was worried and you said you guys would be on top of things and now we're stuck with a $x bill. Thanks a lot..." I'd be po'd at her too. Maybe she'll help.

If it were my kids I would have offered to pay half, if it was my kid hurt I would not have expected them to pay. I would never let my kids wander around at 2 years old when I know there are kids running in the house, I would feel responsible for my child getting hurt.

You are looking at it as they did nothing but missing you didn't do anything either. Clearly you didn't see the potential for the collision so why do you expect them to? Of course if their child had tripped over your daughter and hurt themselves they would be responsible for their child's injuries. It was an accident.

Looking at Pam's response, her situation was totally different, she was the only adult in the house, she was in charge of the safety of the child, of course she is responsible.

So if it were me I would expect to pay the bill and if they offered I would have only accepted half because I was there as well. Still I would not have left a toddler on the floor with two out of control boys. Don't know, maybe I wouldn't have accepted anything from them.

Oh, and yeah, you may want to give your cousin a list of hotels in the area.

Per your addition, I can't speak for others but I never said intervene, just pick up your child and make them stay by you. Your husband could have watched your daughter while you cleaned up the kitchen. Is it really so hard to admit you could have stopped this from happening as well?

We have all been in this situation, why do you assume we haven't just because we are saying you are responsible for your child? You say you did everything, yelling is doing nothing. It is not being a complete jerk to hand your daughter to your husband and say keep her out of the way, I don't want her getting hurt with the boys running around.

ETA

Before anyone decides to bash me about spanking someone else's kids. I would. No doubt about it in my mind BUT many thing would have happened before it got that far. I would have grabbed her kids by the arm and taken them to their mom and told them to sit by her and not get up again. Or I would have told SIL and MIL that either they needed to go do whatever task was more important than getting the kids managed so I could manage the kids.

What's really at the root of my attitude about this question though is this:

WHO THE HECK CARES ABOUT THE BILL AND BLAME?????

I'D BE YELLING IN THEIR FACES AND THREATENING THEM WITH ALL MANNER OF EVIL IF THEY EVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT BEING AROUND ME OR MY CHILDREN BECAUSE THIS LITTLE GIRL COULD HAVE JUST AS EASILY DIED. SHE CONVULSED AND HER EYES ROLLED BACK IN HER HEAD. SHE COULD HAVE DIED INSTEAD.

Just because 2 lazy people and someone who had been trying and trying to manage unruly horrible kids couldn't protect a little 2 year old girl.

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I would have become the screaming banshee the moment my child was hurt and they'd have been shaking in their boots and packing up to get out and never come back.

I have no problem's stating my mind and after telling the kids to settle down both MIL and SIL would have been told this:

"I discussed this behavior with both of you before you came. I cannot override your permissive attitude. Someone is likely to get hurt and if you don't manage your kids I am going to bust their a**es in 5 minutes. This is unacceptable behavior in someone else's home. So please, either manage your kids or leave".

Then I would have started busting butts. I have no problem making someone else's kids mind in my own home and if the parents had not wanted it to go that far then they needed to take care of it themselves.

Every one of my friends feel the same way. If one of our kids misbehave any parent is able to swat their hiney. They will sit them in time out, swat them, do anything needed to manage all the kids. We are truly of one mind in this, it takes a village and that doesn't mean "Please make your child stop running in circles because they won't listen to me" it means "Hey KID! If you don't stop acting like this I am going to bust your hiney and sit you in time out for half an hour".

I am so glad I don't have friends or family that think it's okay to act like your MIL and SIL do. That is horrible.

As for your question...your home, you didn't put a stop to it by telling MIL and SIL off or booting them out of your house. Your bill.

If it had been at their house and their kid did it then I'd imagine their house insurance or something might have helped. I know I have insurance for people hurt on my property.

I'm in the category of "your house, your rules". That would also mean "your kid, you pay".

You had a responsibility to keep your children safe. If that means coming off as a jerk, it means coming off as a jerk. If my child had been pushed so hard that he convulsed and lost consciousness? Darned Tooting I would go psycho. In-laws or family - it's your home.

You need to pay the bill. You've learned from this, correct?
In the future they will not be welcome in your home.

In my 15 years of parenting experience, my children have not harmed another like what happened to you, we've had bumps and scrapes, but no concussions. I know I would offer to pay half of the bill. It does not sound like this family will. Pay it and learn from it.

This is a difficult one. I understand your thinking. However, ultimately you are responsible for the safety of your daughter. Knowing the kids were out of control rough why did you leave her with them. I would've kept her near me, off the floor.

I also would've immediately stopped the play so no one would get hurt. It's your house. You knew the potential for getting hurt. This was a situation you or your husband needed to immediately needed to take action by taking away the rolling toys and redirecting their activity.

Safety always trumps hurt feelings if you thought your cousin would take offense to you intervening.

Because you enjoy your cousin, I would still invite her to visit but I would be clear about the rules in your house and that you will remain in charge. If Your cousin doesn have control of her kids you take over in your house.
Keep in mind that t these are children. Playing rough is normal. When they are too rough or behavior is unacceptable to you, you're responsible to stop it in your house or with your child. Ideally mom would've but she didn't. It's pointless and actually dangerous as you've learned to expect her to control her children. Knowing that make plans for how you will handle it. It is ok to not have the kids at your house. I suggest, tho, that you first take back your power and learn how to manage them in your home. Even when you're out with them you do have the right, even the responsibility, to protect yourself and your child.

I suggest t that instead of talking ahead of time about how t they need to control the boys you talk about what you expect and what will happen if your expectations aren't met. I suggest that this would be a great experience in which you can learn about yourself and how to manage in a world in which you only have control over yourself and your child. Change the focus from their behavior and their mom's lack of control to what you can do with their behavior.

I would pay the bill- my kid, my care, my responsibility, my insurance.
Kids get hurt. End of story.

It would be nice if they offered to pay but they probably won't. I wouldn't start a rift over it. That's why we all have medical insurance. No one goes around trying on purpose to get hurt or sick. It happens. and it is quite often caused by something (or someone) out of our control.

You pay the bill.

But with that you also get to make the rules about 1) who gets to visit and be in your house and 2) how they must behave while there.

So sorry that happened. I hope your little girl is okay.

Your child so it's your bill. Kids get hurt all the time. Sometimes it's due to other children other times it's due to accidents.

In your case I'd take it as a lesson learned and ask your cousin to leave with the kids. She has zero control over their actions and they are old enough to behave much better. You need to put your daughter's safety above everything else and send your cousin packing. If you can't do that then tell your cousin to take her children outside to run around and take over parenting them when they step foot in your house.

If my kid hurt another, I would be offering to pay the bill.

Send the bill to your cousin, but don't be surprised if she refuses to pay it. Also don't be surprised if it causes a rift in your relationship. Not that having her refuse to come visit you anymore would necessarily be a bad thing.

You invited them into your home thereby accepting responsibility for their actions in your home. You pay the bill.

A few dirty looks shouldn't stop you from taking control in your own home.

I think both families are at fault. It would be fair for them to pay half of what you are out of pocket, but all you can do is ask, if they refuse I would not push it further because it could cause problems for your husband with his family. But if they do refuse to pitch in you could also use that as extra reason as to why they need to get a hotel next time.

Ask them to pay for the bill.

If they don't, then you pay for the bill.

Just like you can't fix stupid, you can't make stupid pay either.

Wow, I hope she's okay.

If they want to keep the peace, they should probably pay. If they are good people, they should offer.

But if they don't offer, which is likely, and you ask them to pay, don't be surprised if they refuse and family drama ensues.

Good luck with it, keep us posted.

you pay its your house, you child. I would tell cousin that no more visits at your house and that until she can control her kids they are not welcome there any more at all.

Gamma G, I am right there with you. I have absolutely no problem telling someone to get their kid under control or get the hell out! I just told my granddaughter's other grandma that granddaughter cannot come over again for a while because she was misbehaving so badly. I told Granny that if she would TEACH that child to behave, she would be welcome but as it is, she can stay home!

Your SIL should pay but probably won't.

You were always allowed to enforce your rules in your home. No one, not man, woman, child or adult should come into your home and set their own rules or run wild. Each year teachers get new students and every year teachers set the standard in their classroom. You must gain the confidence of doing the same in your home.

I'm so sorry your little one was injured but that bill will be on you because you already know who you are dealing with. They already bare no responsibility for their wild kids so I know you aren't really expecting them to pay medical bills caused by their wild ones.

I would definitely let them come to my home again but I would certainly lay down the laws and rules of my home. If they don't comply they must say goodbye.

Legally, they MIGHT be responsible. Unless I couldn't afford it, I think that I would just go ahead and pay for it and be that banshee in the future. They would hate me--especially if they were unapologetic--because I would not invite them back to my home and would remind them every time they said something about it that "when these two come over, people get hurt." Period. I wouldn't discuss it; they know what happened. I would be firm.

That's me, though. There's nothing like my kid getting hurt topped off with a good piece of "I told you so" to make me put my foot down and dare anybody to say a word about it.

ETA: I agree with the others that you could have done more. I understand why you didn't, but that doesn't mean that you couldn't/shouldn't have. People (including in-laws) roll their eyes at me because I put my foot down when it comes to my 3yo's safety. I sometimes have to insist that my husband not allow certain things. I don't care about offending anybody else when it comes to his safety because I have a responsibility to keep him safe. Some things can slip through the cracks; we can't kepe them away from EVERYTHING. I just don't let fear of hurt feelings keep me from minding his safety.

I think you are going to have to pay the bill. These do not sound like the type of people to take responsibility for anything even their own kids behavior.

My child fell while rough housing with her cousins at their house. They weren't doing anything dangerous just playing. She fell and broke bones, multiple x-rays and multiple casts later. We paid the bill, that is what medical insurance is for...

I am so sorry this happened, how scary!!!

I wouldn't pursue it...not worth the hassle.

Wow, how horrible. I hope your daughter is ok. That said, the other family should offer to pay. But I wouldn't hold my breath. Assuming they don't, I would pay the bill. My son was never out of sight of me or my husband when he was two unless he was in his crib. We have a pool too and I assume you would NEVER let your two year old around a pool or boat without you being within arm's length. I would not have let my child out of my sight with out of control older kids running around. I also do NOT allow any children to run through my house like maniacs.

If I liked spending time with the adult cousin, I would be clear that an adults only function (preferably on neutral premises like a restaurant) would be the only way I would be seeing her in the future. Maybe go out together with the kids in 4-5 years - perhaps they will be a little better behaved then.

How totally awful. Concussion is very serious, and repeated concussions can have long term effects. This is not something to be taken lightly.

I am interested to know the reaction of the mother and MIL. Can you tell us?

To answer your question I think your taxes should pay any costs, but that's not helpful so....your cousin should offer to pay, but won't, so you should pay and then forget about the financial side of it. Just do what needs to be done and focus on your little girl's health.

Unfortunately, not everyone feels that way in respect to your child hurting another and being responsible. Many parents these days AREN'T "responsible". I feel the same and try to represent that to my own children and I started them from a VERY young age to know that!
Do you think you will ever see the money? Since this was done in YOUR home do you think home owners insurance would cover? Just a thought. Not exactly sure how that works. Oh wait I think you may have to pay a deductible never mind! If they weren't responsible enough to watch and intercede with the child-unfortunately I don't think you will ever see one dime and honestly it will cause a huge riff most likely too. Some people feel as though your kid got hurt and it was "accidental" and accidents happen and when they do its your responsibility. I can't say what is right.....I just know what would be right in my eyes and I'm the one that has to lay down my head on my pillow-not them. I would pay the bill even if I had to do payments. However, I think I would be in the minority. People say they would but to actually do it are two totally different things.

This is definitely a tough situation. I'm so sorry. I hear what you are saying. DEFINITELY. Clearly there was too much rough housing going on--not enough parental involvement. Your feelings are TOTALLY warranted. Understandable. I HEAR YOU.

With that being said, I don't think you can demand that they pay for the bill. If you choose, you could talk with your husband and ask him to talk with them about the finances. I wouldn't do it, if i were YOU. You are the daughter-in-law. It's not YOUR family.

The other option is to pay the bill and to PROMISE yourself that you will SERIOUSLY limit your interaction with them. If it's not safe, it's not a good place for you to have your family.

I'm sorry I don't have a better answer. I think you need to talk to your husband and have him be the "bad guy."

You pay, but let cousin know that you are upset that your daughter was hurt because of her kids behavior.

This makes me sick. Why are parents so clueless about their kids destructive behavior? So sorry this happened to your daughter and to you.

i think they should offer to pay-- but dont hold your breath. your stuck

Its your house - you get to pay the bill. And BTW, your in-laws ARE YOUR FAMILY!!

I would ask, and they should offer but good luck with that. I'm so sorry for what happened to your daughter. Honestly, like you said the good thing about it is that you can make the rules and back them up now but what a nightmare. I would not be inviting them back over anytime soon. Family or not, that is out of control behavior and I would only be around them if it was at a mutual location where you can leave and go safely home on your own.

I would mail them a copy of the bill and see if they do the right thing.

What an awful situation. I get it...my in laws have a completely different set of rules than I do.

My husband would never ask his family for money over something like that. He is a little less tolerant of them, but when we first married, his brother stayed with us and the sister in law ran the phone bill up some $300. I told him he had to ask his brother to pay it and he refused stating it was his brother. Anyway, I asked for the money and his brother wrote me a check. They were there for free after all.

Personally, I would ask them for half. I would explain that if it were your dog that bit them while playing if they would expect you pay. Ya, I bet they would.

Anyway, I would not allow them to stay at the house any longer. I did that also and yes, I was labeled the royal B after that. Oh well, it is not the first time I have been labeled.