Why #1In the Potty, but Not #2? - Windsor Mill,MD

Hi! I have 3 children and also went trough the same thing. Sometimes they're affraid of taking that step so be patient. I potty trained all 3 starting around 17 months but 1 of my son's didn't go #2 until he was 3! As far as the other 2, I offered to buy them new undies w/character of their choice and it worked like a charm! Hope this helps.

Girls are typically easier than boys. So, try the bath system! Giver her a bath routinely around 6 or 7 pm and watch her have to go potty half way thru. Stay with her in the bathroom and when you see any bubbles in the tub; ask her if she think's she has to go poopie? When she nods yes, quickly now as you may have very little time...move her to the toilet. I bet you if you bathe her every nite she'll go one of the nights. Make a big attention deal out of her progress in goin to the toilet! Go buy big girl panties; training panties and watch her keep it up!She will feel so much more uncomfortable peeing or pooping in cloth, that she'll want to go to the toilet. Regular big person toilets modified with the little seat cushions make them feel more responsible too. You may have to buy the little step stool to climb up though; but they're better at responding then with pottys.

My daughter was just the opposite, she would go #2 but not #1 on the potty, then just one day when she was about 3 1/2 she just started going #2 also and hasn't had a problem since. It will happen when the are ready.

I have posted the same problem a few days ago. my 3 year old daughter refuses to go number 2 on the potty either. She even asks me to put a pull up on her becasue she has to poop. I don't even use pull ups, never did but hd to start to buy them for that purpose. can I ask you, when your child does go # 2 does she go off and hide in a corner? I asked her doctor what to do about this problem and they offerd the following: 1.) make her sit on the potty with the pull up on in order to get use to sitting on the pot for poop. 2.) put her potty in the corner or spot she usually goes to poop in 3.) after she poops in her pants or pull up have her go with you to the potty and dump her poopy in the pot and have her flush and say look poopys gone in the pot! Then wave bye bye to it. Yes it seems odd but I have imple,ented all 3 suggestions and they seem to be leading us in the right direction. Please respond and let me know how this is going because I need help with this also and noone has responded to my request and I am desperate! Thanks and have a happy Thanksgiving!!

This is very common. My son did this for several months. It turned out that he was scared of the big potty, kept thinking that he was going to fall in, and the training potty was to small, he thought it would 'touch him'. I bought a different training potty and moved it to just outside the bathroom. We he would go in his pants, he always would sneak off to a corner somewhere and get real quiet. When you asked if he had to go he'd say no. Then he say YES!, but I can' get there. We'd have to pick him up and make mad dashes to the bathroom. Didn't always make it.

You need to be firm in letting her know that going in her pants is not correct, but not be punishing or you'll make her afraid and create a whole other set of issues.

I got upset at my son once in a bathroom with an automatic flushing toilet for messing his pants. He got scared, moved and the toilet flushed while he was still on it. To this day, and he'll soon be 7, he will not use an automatic flushing toilet unless you hold you hand over the sensor.

One idea is to create a rewards/consequences chart. If she goes in the potty she gets dessert and a star. If she doesn't she doesn't get dessert and a star, etc. If she gets 7 stars, she can do something special..go to Chuck E. Cheese, have a playdate, go to the playground.. something simple and special.

Do you have any family or friends with whome you can leave her with for a week who also have a daughter that she admires who is about a year older? My daughter got potty trained after spending a week with my sister and her kids. She has a daughter that's a year older than mine and when my daughter came home she would say, I need to go potty and that was that. She was potty trained. My daughter was almost 3 years at the time. Good luck! That's about the only suggestion I have I hope it helps!

hello, my daughter just turned 2 in september,and she started on the potty almost next day to her birthday. She started out only going #1 also,until the one day,she was pushing so hard that she did #2 also. My husband and I made a huge deal out of it,and since then she has been doing great.Good Luck!!!

That's normal for it to take longer to train for a B.M. The worst thing you can do is to punish your child for this. Just relax and she will eventually train. She's still young, and she's not even three. Most children don't even begin to potty train until three.

Perhaps not punish her for that..she is using it to get negative attention. Sometimes ignoring the negative behavior will stop her from doing what she has been asked not to. Some kids need their own time to get with the program, not every child is the same.

Hi T., I have a son who just turned four last week. He still does'nt want to go poop in the potty. We've tried telling him there's a poop-poo prince that comes after he's gone to give childern rewards for doing a great job at the potty. It's worked to some extint but really he's four and still wants a diaper to poop. He's fine with #1, needless to say this drives us crazy. All we do is remind him, he's a big boy now and needs to try to use the big boy potty.
Give her some time. Girls usally learn this faster, but she is still somewhat younge. I know adive from someone who's four year old poops in a diaper.
Take Care, good luck, R.

I don't want to sound mean but punishing a child for not going to the potty will only make it far worse. My son was the same way. He is almost 4 and had been just refusing to poop on the potty period. He had already been peeing for several months without a problem. I would yell at him for it, force him to sit on it, make him clean his own underwear you name it. However, it only made him resist it more and have more accidents. He would get constipated then I'd have to deal with his crying for hours until he could finally pass it. Finally one day I simply gave up. I told myself (as I had many times before) that he will not graduate from high school in diapers. The next thing I know, within 2 days, he was going potty all by himself. He would stand and pee, then sit down to poop. Your daughter could very well be the same way. Just try leaving her alone about it for a couple days, see if she steps up to the plate. I'm willing to bet that she will be more willing to try. My son hates to be bothered with it, I might throw out a reminder, which only makes him mad. A child will go when they are good and ready and there really isn't much you can do about. After I let him try it all on his own he potty trained himself in less than a month, both day trained and night trained. We have had no accidents either. Try this approach, it couldn't hurt and who knows, it may work.

Please don't punish her for this. It is so normal to take a while to learn to poop in the potty. She is still young, even if she is smart.

Punishing your child for not going potty is not the answer. She will never go if she is always nervous. #2 is for some reasons more difficult for kids simply because it takes more time. Try getting her to stay in the bathroom longer. We had books in there for our daughter and that helped a great deal. Punishment is not the answer.

both of my older kids didnt potty train fully until they turned 3... she will get it!

I know it took my son a little longer to do #2 on the potty. I just let him know that it was ok, that whenever he felt ready to go it would be a super thing. I just gave him positive feedback, even when he didn't go in the potty. I just told him "maybe next time" and then I'd tell him he'd get a treat for doing #2. Before too long, it happened. I think after a couple of weeks, he felt comfortable enough to go on the potty and he did. And I think taking treats away from them and giving her "consequences" might be too negative a thing. She needs positive re-enforcement and then maybe she'll respond better.

it just takes more time to #2 in the potty she might be embarrassed to do it in front of you i would suggest putting the potty somewhere that she can be alone and safe for a few minutes and see if that works

Please do not punish your children in any way for anything potty related. Please. It doesn't work and will make things worse.

I definitely agree with those that suggest not punishing for not going #2. 2 3/4 is on the early side for potty training and sometimes #2 just takes longer than #1. Try not to stress her out too much over it or you might find she regresses and you'll regret it.

My daughter initiated potty training about 2 3/4. She is 3y 2m now and started noticing being dry after naps and in the am occasionally. She became very excited on days when she'd wake up dry and so we started putting stickers on the calendar for each dry wake up. She loves to see the reward and watch the stickers accumulate and it's a great way for me to monitor to know when it might be "safe" to try no pull-up for sleeping time. (I'm about 3 months pregnant and just don't have the energy to deal with regular sheet changing on her full bed. Plus I want her to have success and see potty training as a positive experience.)

My daughter WAS potty trained & then had an accident & is now back in diapers so I will have to do this all over again. But, what I did was put her on the potty every hour. It is hard at forst but once you get use to it they will know that every hour they need to go sit on the potty. Going #2 on he potty was easier than going #1 only because she would poop only when I put her in the bathtub. So what I did was put her on the potty if I noticed she was pushing. As for the #1 I just had to be consistant. Punishing only makes it worse b/c they will get scared & start to hold it in which then leads to constipation & once they are constipated they really get scared & dont want to go. I hope that it all works out for you.

If I were you, I would follow her lead and take away all the pressure. My daughter, who turned 3 in August, was the same way. She, too, is very smart, articulate and mature. First, she would only do pee in the potty and poop in her pants, pamper or pull-up. Then, on her own, she started pooping in the potty. Now, she will poop in the toilet, but still prefers her potty for poop. She will do pee on the toilet. I think small children feel like a part of their body is falling off when they poop on the potty or toilet. You have to remember that they are used to having the b.m. smashed against their body. She will do it in time. Don't punish her or take things away, because then it becomes about control. Just give her praise when she does use the potty. It takes time, but she will get there!

Hello, my son is four now but when he was your daughters age he went through the same thing. I tried to take away things also but it didn't work for me either, so then I tried something else. I took his favorite snacks (which were gushers fruit snacks) and I put a box of them in the bathroom on top of a really high shelf so it was impossible for him to reach them. Then I told him that every time he went poopy in the potty he could have some, however I did not give them to him any other time. They were only for the times he goes potty. Like all kids at that age he cried and wanted them and threw tantrums for the first 2 days or so. But then he started to realize the only way mommy was going to take them down and give him one is when he went poopy on the potty. So he did, and I gave him his treat and from then on he went in the potty. However I do suggest that if you are going to try this make sure there is nothing under the shelf that they can climb up to try to get the snacks. Because as we all know with most children, when they want something bad enough they will find a way to get it. If you do try this I hope it works as well for you as it did for me.

Ok..At her age there really should be no cosequences of not using the potty. My girlsfriends daughter just turned 4, and she just started pooping in the potty. Praise her when she goes even if it is only pee....Start a chart. Reward for a great potty day. One sticker for #1, and two stickers for #2...at the end of the week.....let her count her stickers, and then she gets a prize for being the greatest potty goer. Rewards such as a movie or a special snack, or staying up on a friday night an extra 20 min...."eww more snuggle time". Maybe getting 2 books read before bed instead of one....your choice, but I would stop punishing for uncontrolable behavior.

Please do not punish or say anything rude, embarassing or detrimental to your child for this, ever. It will cause futher issues with Bowel movements as your child gets older. Too many teenagers have come into this house as Foster Children with Gastrointestinal problems linked to Bowel Moevement issues. I have two 17 year olds on high fiber diets and medication.

Try letting your child choose her potty & maybe even bathroom decor to entice her to want to spend the time it takes to have a bowel movement in the bathroom. Finally select a treat (ie favorite book, snack or game) as a reward for using the potty and only for using the potty. My 3 bio children had no problem learning just a few weeks after starting to use the potty with these incentives.

An ugly talking fish (Billy Bass) on the wall and really weird cartoon shower curtain that doesn't match your towels won't hurt you, but might help your child feel more secure.

Good Luck, A.

She is still young to be fully potty trained. I have heard of a lot of children who are afraid to go poopy in the potty. Iwould try to make a big deal about it if she goes #2 on the potty . I found when I was potty traingin my dd it not work by warning her That only made her more scared. It was better to let her do it on her own and beofre long she was doing it . She was potty trained fully but the time she was 2 1/2 . I knowit gets frustrating but just be patient. She will do it.

Good Luck! L.

I really disagree with taking stuff away from them for it. She might still be to young to understanding the feelings of having to use the bathroom and controling it can be a hard thing to do. Esp #2. My son is doing the same thing right now. We are 100% pee trained but still poop in our undies. I just take him into the bathroom, clean him up, remind him that we need to try and go poop in the potty and put new undies on him. I know one day he will figure it all out. A lot of kids take longer to poop train then potty train. It is totally normal. I would try and figure out about when she seems to poop and just see if she will sit on the potty for like 10-20 mins then if you can get her too. Sometimes Eric will do this sometimes not. So far no luck in getting the timing just right but I know one day everything will come together. Until then we just take it one day at a time.

Hello T.,I understand what u are going threw my son just turned 5 yesterday and just started going #2 in the tolet just 3 weeks ago....Know i that he could do it because he did it for my mom before...So what i was trying to do was make it fun for him.. Let him pick out the little seat that goes over the big one and a little step stool.Then I would tell him storys while he was sitting there trying to go.. .Then they love the do it them self soap and wet tolet paper...I know when my son was 4 he was so big and i was getting sick and wanted to give up...Keep trying with your little one they will do it when they are ready..Sometimes they are just scared mine was scared of the loud flush of the tolet...
Good luck to you and your little one

Hello, T.,

When my Ivy League College graduate daughter was about your daughter's age, I said to her in frustration, "When will you ever be potty-trained!?" She very calmly replied, "When I'm three."
On her third birthday, she began using the potty for both functions and has done so ever since (to my knowledge). The lesson for me was that they'll do it when they're ready and all the cajoling, punishment or rewarding in the world will not make a bit of difference. Relax -- don't make it an issue and don't listen to anyone who brags about how young their kids were trained. Your daughter will train herself when she is ready and that will be sooner if it is not a big power struggle!

Gook luck, E.

It just takes most children a little longer to be comfortable going #2 and punishing your child will actually make it worse. She will do it when she is ready and the more you push, the more she will resist. I went through the same thing with my daughter. When I gave up and just let her be, that's when she started going #2.