Why Does My Daughter Beat Herself in the Head??

Updated on March 11, 2008
C.M. asks from Cody, WY
18 answers

My 13 month old daughter hits herself in the head. I dont know why she does this and dont know how to make her stop. I have tried telling her no, telling her to be nice to the baby, but it doesnt seem to work. Has anyone else had this problem and what can I do if anything? She doesnt cry or laugh when she does it.

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So What Happened?

I wanted to thank everyone for the help. Ive been ignoring my daughter when she hits herself and she seems to be slowing down with it. She does still hit herself but not as much since we started ignoring her. Im hoping that ignoring her will stop this all together.

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L.N.

answers from Billings on

I think that ignoring this child is probably the worst thing you can do. The advice to just ignore is antiquated advice at best!! I have worked in group homes for DD and ED children and head banging is not something to ignore. She should be evaluated. Early intervention is crucial to a child who may have problems!! Good luck to you.

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C.P.

answers from Anchorage on

Your child is looking for sensory stimulation. Talk to a Occupational therapist and get her on a "sensory diet". By providing her with the right stimuli, she will not feel the need to do this anymore.

Sensory disfuntion is commonly associated with the learning disorders that are so common now. But this paticular symptom is treated with OT therapy.

Try using providing her with deep pressure touch, like a strong massage. Beanbag chairs that you can press her down into. After a bath, scrub her with the towel really firmly. The more of that kind of stuff you do the less she will be looking for it.

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E.S.

answers from Boise on

We had a big prob with my youngest step-daughter doing it. She still does it occasionally when she's really tired or stressed. My mom calls it "Not feelin' the love". I would use a very concerned voice and say "Don't hurt my baby." She'd usually stop and crawl into my lap and "soak up the love".

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S.M.

answers from Portland on

I just have to say NO CHILD SHOULD EVER BE IGNORED!!!!!!! I do apologize however it angers me to see any mother advise another mother to IGNORE their child!
My daughter had this problem too, at 13 months it started, she ended up having a seizure disorder, her pediatrician told me to ignore it, I did what the doctor said, well he was wrong! Dead wrong. Children do not always have the words to communicate what they need want or are feeling, actions are their best way to let you know whats going on, if you ignore their actions you could be missing out on what they are trying to say, like with my child, I am not saying your daughter will have seizures but if she could have a conversation with you with words would you ignore her simply because you dont like what she is saying?????

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B.K.

answers from Spokane on

C.,

I have a 20 month old son who did the same thing. I don't know what the circumastances are when your daughter does it, but my son always did it out of frustration. It was just because he didn't know how to tell me what was going on and he was frustrated so he would hit himself in the head. I wasn't too worried about it but I asked the doctor anyway at one of his check ups. The doc said not to worry about it and definitely don't give him extra attention for it because then he will just do it for the attention. Most of the time I didn't say anything to him when he did it, every once in a while I would say really calm and nonchalant "don't hit sweetie" The doctor said that he wouldn't hit himself hard enough to hurt so just let him be. I did and after a month and a half or so he stopped doing it all together. I hope this helps.

B.

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G.P.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,

I've heard about this happening to a mom in my Mom & Me group. I've heard that when a baby does this, she is just trying to get attention, any kind of attention. If you just completely ignore her when she does it, she SHOULD stop. She's not going to hurt herself, babies are too smart for that. :)

Hope this helps, and good luck! :)

G.

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D.G.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,
When my little one did this I asked for advice from other parents and his PED. the consensus was not to worry but his pediatrician said just in case lets check a few things. We figured out it was probabley because he was accumulating fluid behind his eardrums which caused a feeling of fullness and occasional headaches. I gave him tylenol and that helped he ended up getting ear tubes and the hitting stopped. So I am not saying that your child needs tubes im saying sometimes kids just do strange things for strange reasons. So he may have a small headache or something or he may just be testing his sensory perceptions. So maybe try some baby tylenol and see his PED if you are concerned or he seems uncomfortable when he does it.
Good luck.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Hello C.~
It is possible that it is nothing to be concerned with, however I have done alot of research and papers in highschool about Autism and have a friend who has 2 daughters that are. One of her daughters is a high functioning autistic child the other is not. Her daughters did this when they were young too, this is how they found out about the autism. It would be worth it to speak with your ped, and also check out a couple of these websites they might help.
www.webmd.com or www.bretfavre.com

I dont mean to scare you in any way. I hope this helps and Good Luck!

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L.B.

answers from Provo on

Hi C.,
My daughter did this too when she was that age. I asked the Dr. about it at the time and she said not to worry. Now my daughter is almost 4 and has been diagnosed with an autism disorder called Asperger's Syndrome. Turns out it's really common in Autism disorders, and it's a red flag to look out for. She quit the head banging when she was about 20 months old when we started taking her to a chiropractor, but now in the last couple of months she has started smacking herself in the head/face and clawing at her arms when she is frustrated. SO, I am not trying to alarm you, however, I would do some research on autism (just google autism symptoms) and see if your child has any of the other symptoms. If so, get her evaluated as soon as possible. That being said, she might be a bit young to really be able to tell very well if she has symptoms, but it might be a good idea to just keep them in mind to watch out for as she gets older.

It could also be a symptom of something called Sensory Integration Disorder. She could be hittting her head because it provides sensory input for her. Does she like to be tickled a lot, spinning around, rocking, flapping her hands, etc.? (Most all kids this age like this to some degree, I am talking about a more than normal desire for this)Does she seem to want to play with water, sand, playdough a lot? (Again most kids do at this age, I am talking about an unusual interest in these things.) It could be that she is under-sensitive to things that most of us process with no problem, and she is craving more sensory experiences throughout the day. Sensory Integration Disorder is part of autism disorders, but it can exist independently of autism and just be that itself.

Or it could be nothing to worry about at all. I would just be open to exploring the possibilities and seeing if there is anything there. If I had it to do over again, I would have checked out things further instead of thinking everything was okay only to find out the hard way that my child missed out on the early intervention she could have had to help her. I wish someone would have pointed out the red flags to me when I was expressing concern. I sensed something was wrong with my child from the time she was about 6 months old, but everyone kept telling me she was fine and I was worried about nothing. She would quit her odd behavior, and catch up in the areas she was behind in. "Every child is different" "Your daughter is ahead in other areas" "She's just going through a phase"

My point in telling you this is that you are her mother. You have intuition regarding your child that no one else has. Trust your instincts. I wish I had listened more closely to mine. If you are worried, check it out further, If there is another issue, you will find out early. If not, you can put your concerns to rest and be done with it. Either way, it doesn't hurt to do some further research.

Good Luck!
-L.

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L.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi C.,

My son did this at about a year old. He finally quit. He was doing it when he was frustrated and not able to tell me what he needed. I spoke with his pediatrician about it and she said not to worry. She said as long as he's not banging his head on the concrete not to worry. She said to ignore it. He finally stopped. We started using a lot of sign language with him, so he was able to communicate with me what he needed and it seemed to help. Don't worry about it too much. It will pass. I know it is upsetting to see your child do that, but ignore it and don't say anything. That just feeds them to do it more.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Wow C., like usual there are a great variety of reason for your concerns and everyone handles them differently. Thankfully everyone says, "Not to worry". My little one did this at a very early age. First by pulling a handful of hair as a newborn and then hitting. I thought the hair pulling had to be an accident with no idea of what she was doing, but perhaps it could have been a headache or earache. I never gave that much thought until reading this. At about 5 months she started with the hitting and because she was so small we laughed. It wasn't by any means hard, but strange that she had the coordination to hit herself in the head. Later at about 9 months she started this forward nod which she still does today. We called it her head butts. So now if you ask her for a Conk, she will actually give you a head butt. It is quite a common game for us. Hopefully now that you have gotten some feedback you don't take is too serious. However, I may ask the PED while we are in today.
C.

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A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Just one more thing to try :) My sister's son would hit himself or otherwise inflict pain upon himself. she would sadly look at him and say "owwie, don't hit my little boy, I love him" she would hug him and let him know that it made her sad when he hurt himself. It seemed to work for him. I think that worked for him more than scolding would, but different children learn different ways. She may just need attention or be frustrated. GOOD LUCK

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J.C.

answers from Honolulu on

my friends son used to do this. He did it whenever he needed attention, he got scolded, or he needed a little extra TLC. Just give her some extra TLC and she should grow out of it

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C.M.

answers from Richland on

Wow, I am really surprised that you have 3 children and have just now ran into this problem! You are so lucky. All of my girls have gone through that stage, and most of my friends children have as well. and yes it is just a stage. It is mainly as attention-getter, you are clearly a sympathetic parent. Little ones know that if they hit themselves in the head it will get your attention, next thing you know it becomes second nature every time they get mad. My best advice would be to do your best to ignore it as bad as that sounds, and give her more attention for something like coming up to you and crying on your lap. It is hard, but she simply needs to know that you care about her feelings and that hurting herself isn't the way to get your attention.

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T.T.

answers from Las Vegas on

My daughter who is now 20 months would sometime haul off and whap herself in the head and throw a mini tantrum. At first I was a little uneasy, but a friend who had been in daycare for 20+ years told me that she might have a headache. So I gave her some Tylenol and shortly after she stopped doing it. Sometimes she hits herself in the head because she saw someone else do it and thought it was funny, or out of shear frustration. I don't like violence (playful or not) so I try to deter it as much as possible, say no-no, and then move her attention to something else.

Hope this helps!

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C.M.

answers from Portland on

Imagine we are little children and our mommas always say things to us such as: "No hitting!" "Play nice!" "No throwing!" "No kicking!" "No sticking out your tongue!" "That's not nice!"
You are not allowed to hit other kids. You are not allowed to throw your things. You are not allowed to stick out your tongue. You must play nice with others. You are not allowed to kick anything.
When you feel frustrated, what choice do you have? You hit yourself. That's the only thing our mommas allow us to do so.

Here's what I did:
I asked my child to please hit the floor instead or clench his fists that his hands turn white. It worked really well ever since. That way, he doesn't inflict bruises or cuts on himself nor hurt others.

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K.Y.

answers from Cheyenne on

I have 14 1/2 month old twins- one boy and one girl.
My son, Mason, has been doing this for quite some time now, either with his hands, toys or the remote control. He never cries, and sometimes laughs, but he is testing himself.
No Madison has started doing it, but doesn't laugh or cry- she looks bored when she does it. I have not determined whether she is doing it because she sees him doing it, (twins love to do what the other does first) or if it is a natural thing to test what hurts and what doesn't for them, (I use this to teach the word "OW").
Hope this helps- if you find a better answer somewhere else, share it with me too! LOL!

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

My son used to do this a lot when he was younger. I noticed it seemed to be out of frustration and because he couldn't communicate what he wanted. Now that he can communicate more he doesn't do it. Instead he points his finger at me and says, NO! Once your daughter is able to vocalize her needs and wants it should stop. My son also would hit his head on the ground. This freaked me out and made me feel so bad, but I had to make sure I didn't react because that is what he wanted me to do. I usually turned the other way or walked out of the room and he would stop because he wasn't getting any more attention.

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