I think you have a great valid question, not ingnorant at all! Most women/moms want to feel and look their best. As a mom of 4, I've always wanted to look as good as I can because I feel good about it, but there have been and still are many many many too many days to count, that I look like I havn't changed in about 3 days and did I brush my teeth today?? LOL. So your friends and are telling you how it is in their life, and in most lives of most moms. As a mom of a newborn, you will be tired. Very tired. For days, even weeks. You might have postpartum depression or just the blues where getting dressed seems like a struggle, or all you want to do is watch your baby every minute, and your days will be filled with nursing/feeding, changing diapers, holding baby, putting baby to sleep, you sleeping, making meals, trying to keep up the house, working outside the home if you do...the list goes on and on. It seems like a complete drag and sometimes it will seem like a drag, but it's all worth it because your heart will be consumed by your baby and as a mom you will do whatever it takes to care for and love your baby. So...with all this going on will you abandon make up and start wearing sweats and putting your hair in ponytail everyday? That's up to you. I think it comes down to a couple of things. First....make sure you have a STRONG village. Which means continue to nurture your relationship with your signifcant other. Enlist his help (he will want to help, but you have to ask....this goes on forever:) Call your family and friends. Nurture yourself. Be gentle with yourself. If you need to nap an extra hour or take a bath, or a walk, or just meditate for 15 min. whatever; nurturing your soul is what will help you feel better with or without makeup. Being gentle with yourself (and others) really means understanding yourself, forgiving yourself, knowing that you are doing the best you can in every moment with what you have and know. Postpartum is a journey just as your labor and birth are. You really have no idea how you are going to feel once your baby is here. What are your beliefs about wearing makeup and getting dressed nicely everyday? (It's not bad that you do...I'm pretty girly girl myself, but have come to a point in my life where my beliefs have changed about it - but that's me) How do YOU really feel - your inner truth- about what you look like to yourself and to others? How do you feel when you aren't wearing makeup and you actually have to put on a pair of sneakers and sweats just to get out the door? It's important to explore this now, because it's obviously important to you...and in postpartum reality, you just aren't going to have the time for yourself anymore. Postpartum may or may not be difficult for you...either way it will be a transition, and if you won't want to complicate it further by not feeling good because there is no time for makeup and heels. I'm not saying new mommies just have to surrender to the haggard mom look....what I am saying is explore your beliefs about what it means to look good. AND...it's more important to FEEL good about yourself because of WHO you are and your purpose. Do what you need to do to nurture yourself (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) in the ways that are true for YOU, while at the same time not setting your expectations so high that it doesn't match the reality of your life in this moment. (remember this phrase - expectations minus reality equals frustration). What are you willing to let go of/give up to become a mother? Take your postpartum journey moment by moment, doing the best you can, embracing your life, your baby, your relationships, and investing in a really cute pair of comfy shoes, a cute comfy alternative to sweats outfit, a 3 minute makeup routine, a cute hat for those days when you just have to get out the door. Oh...always bring extra wipes with you, because you will get baby spit up on your cute outfit:)
Best wishes in your labor and birth and motherhood.
A.
mom of 4, Birth and Parenting Mentor
www.birthingfromwithin.com