Wii and Other Games in the Home?

Updated on February 15, 2011
K.B. asks from West Jordan, UT
26 answers

I am wondering what you Mamas do re: letting your kids play Wii or other games on the T.V or computer? My husband and I have a difference of opinion on this and we need to come to a common ground. I think that this time should be limited and you should have control or the kids could literally play it all day long...seriously. I also think playing every other day is plenty of time and they don't need to play it EVERY day. I think it limits their own creativity and doing other things/using their own imagination. He feels that it is fun, interactive and when they play-we know they are safe and where they are. I think it is a privilege to be able to play the games or earn some time playing time. They are fun/safe E for everyone games and I'm definitely not worried about violence or anything of that nature. What have you done re: this situation in your home? Thanks for any and all advice.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My kids play games, but they are not hooked on it.
Nor do they play it everyday.
When they do play it, it is fine.
Because I know it is fun, they don't do it forever, and when we tell them "okay 15 more minutes..." they are fine with that.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

we go through phases. We will play everyday for a week or two and then we won't touch it for a month. I think hard and fast rules on something like this is more problem that it is worth. As long as 1. homework is done 2. chores are done. 3. meals are eaten 4. you are mixing in other activities/varying what you are doing than it isn't a big deal.

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K.V.

answers from Phoenix on

we dont have a limit per say. My daughter can play as long as all her chores are done and if we feel everything else is basically balanced out (shes had time outdoors ans so on). She is young though and isnt really hooked on it. when we tell her its time to turn off she does with out a fight. If she argues or we feel that she has a hard time limiting herself then she wont play it for a couple of days. I thinks its all about moderating and a balance of other activites. If its not balanced then they get limited on the games till it balances out again.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

My son gets an hour on Sat and an hour on Sun. No weekday playing as he is in 2nd grade and has homework, reading and sports. And if I did let him he would most certainly play 24/7. My GF's sister and BIL let their 4 and 7 year old play all day becasue they want to do stuff around the house and keeps the kids occupied, modern day TV babysitter. Problem is when she needs them to stop it is a knock out drag out fight and they won't play any other "real" games, because my GF feels they are desensitized and nothing that takes imagination or brain power will be as spectacular as the FX on video games in the kids minds.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that like anything, you let them play in moderation. My DD likes a bubble game on hubub's website and we probably play once a week. I think that if you balance no tv/game time with tv/game time, you'll still have kids who know how to build a fort out of blankets even if they also rock at Mario Cart. You could also say, "Okay, you can either play a game for an hour or watch TV for an hour". Or try a game that gets them moving (and you can all play together).

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

In my experience with such things, esp. video games and boys, your approach is best. Boys tend to get really addicted to those things, so it's best to have strict limits from the beginning, with no wiggle room, so that there's never any discussion/argument about it, and the kids just know that they won't be playing video games at certain times, so they learn to do other things.

However, I have to admit I was never good at limiting game time.

I don't know how you will get hubby to compromise with you, though. Hopefully enough moms will advise you to limit gaming time, and you can show the posts to hubby.

I think every other day is a great way to limit gaming, that way on the off days there is zero discussion about it. Good job, mom.

(I think either Victoria W's kids are girls, or they are exceptional. Gaming-addicted boys are very very common.)

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

My kids are 11 and 15. We have never had game systems in our home. I wouldn't mind if they played at a friend's house but like you, I believe there need to be definite limits on screen time. Given what they systems and games cost, and needing to upgrade when a better sytem comes out, not playing every day makes it not worth the investment. I didn't want my kids to play as much as they'd need to for me to feel it was worth the money. My kids honestly never even asked for one. My 11 year old son has zero interest.
I work in an elementary school. Kids don't get outside enough to play, don't know how to entertain themselves and have zero attention span. I don't think the video games are helpful.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

We only have a Wii.
They are not allowed to play any computer, Wii or Gameboy during the weekdays. Nor do they watch tv, unless sick, during the weekdays.
That;s what weekends are for. THey also have chores.
IF they do the school work neccessary for the week, their chores on the weekend, the rest of the time is theirs.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My whole house, including myself play randomly during the day as we like and we have no issue with it. I would place the same rules you place on the tv time on the video game time b/c we see it as watching tv.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I don't have this exact situation, because my son isn't even four yet, but I can share with you some of our (my husband's and mine) ideas on this, because my husband loves his online D&D type games, and with other visiting family, it's been discussed.

First, we have decided that when the time comes for video games, they will likely be on the computer, side by side with daddy. As a preschool teacher, everything educational that my son needs to learn is done better as a real-life experience and not a virtual one. We also feel he needs to learn how to play games which involve taking turns, and single-person player games aren't going to assist in this. I have a very high level of respect for children's authentic play, much as I see very obviously in your post, and value this unstructured playtime for all that it teaches: patience, perseverence, problem solving, planning ahead, innovation, and mastery of skills that can be used in real life.

We also have a rule for visiting family that no video games come in/are played, because we've noticed that people tend to check out a bit. (These aren't long visits, by the way, maybe a couple hours long.) I appreciate that kids like to have something to do, and with a closet full of games and materials that appeal to kids of all ages, personal gaming devices aren't welcome. Two reasons: first, I want my son to know that there are game times and family times, and that when we have/visit company, it's rude to be sitting on the couch, ignoring everyone with your nose in a screen. Secondly, I don't think all of the games my 12 year old nephew plays aren't violent or don't involve hurting others, and I don't want my interested little guy to be watching that over his shoulder.

I personally think that games should be a special treat. They come *after* homework, helping/chores, after going out for a walk or playing in the backyard for a while. We think that Saturday afternoons might be fun for Kiddo and Daddy to have some game time together when he's old enough. I'm still not sure when that's going to be. But probably 6 or 7 at the earliest.

My sister and I were just discussing this, btw. This sister has 3 boys, 9, 7 and 5. They have a Wii, and she is starting to discuss with them how their time playing the Wii effects them, because these boys are intelligent and interested. We were brainstorming on different "performance tests": see how long it takes to work two puzzles of similar difficulty, after 30 minutes of using the Wii or after outside play. Which took less time to achieve putting it together? Blood pressure tests before and after the Wii. Memory retention, etc.And how do we get along with our brothers or handle problem-solving situations? We agree that the biggest problem is that video games tend to teach children how to have the feelings of having done something exciting or having accomplished something, without really doing much of anything. They are getting all the emotional highs we would feel from a real-life challenge, but nothing is really accomplished, no new pride or memories made. There is a whole generation of young men, dwelling with their parents past the age of becoming adults, with video-game addictions and no sense of motivation to become an adult and participate in the real world.

Lastly, I'll just say this: as a teacher, I can tell when kids have been really indulged in tv/video games, because they tend to have a harder time initiating any creative play. It's remarkable to watch the kid who is quick to pick up some blocks and start building to come into school after a tv weekend and wander aimlessly, "I don't know what to do". The effects do go away after a short while, once they get their brain re-engaged in the real world, but it's something I have observed on many occasions.

Have fun with your kiddos, and I hope you come up with a reasonable solution for both you and your husband. And if you are interested, I also have a list of activities on my blog that can readily compete with video games, any day!

http://skyteahouse.blogspot.com/2010/12/competing-with-me...

H.

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Our rules are that during the school year, it is only played on the weekends or holidays for 1 half hour each child.

During the summer, they can play it only on the week days for the same amount of time.

And yes, if these 'rules' did not exist, they would be on the Wii all the time.

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

This has been such a HUGE issue in our house as well since my two boys not only love the games but my husband is the biggest Vidiot of all! Needless to say, we set limits and here is the compromise we came to.

- No playing during the school week, only weekends
- If there is fighting the games are turned off
- Even on the weekends they get to play for an hour at a time, up to 3 hours in a day. I found if you break up their play time on the video games they get involved in something else and do not go running over to play again.

There are two sides to every story on these things so I have chosen to listen to both and come up with common ground. The positives of video games are the strategic thinking and hand/eye coordination to name a few. It is important to see that jobs and every day living are centered around digital media and certainly will not be changing in the future. My mother has been in the medical field for years and mentioned that the older surgeons are not as quick to adapt to the new fangled equipment as the younger surgeons. They believe it has a lot to do with kids growing up on video games and learned early how to work digital controls, hence and easier adaptation to the new digital equipment.

Some of the downsides to video games are lack of exercise, creativity and imagination, not to mention the fact that kids do not interact with each other when zoned on a video game. There are studies out there that show kids who play video games more than an hour per day tend to have behavioral problems and have also found a link to obesity.

In short, I would limit the play time, too much of ANYTHING is too much. Exercise balance.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Provo on

With all due respect, I would not have any such device in my home so that my children could spend their time learning real skills. I also recognize that I am part of the wierd 1%.

If you must have such nonsense in your home, by all means it should be a privilege that is limited to times when they do not have more important priorities to be meeting.

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J.B.

answers from Fort Collins on

I personally feel they're pure evil, but my husband doesn't, so we have them in our house. My darling daughter got aggressive playing fast paced games, and she loses her imagination if she plays too much. Kids also come to expect the world to operate at the flash paced excitement of the video games. We limit screen time daily. She can choose to spend it watching TV or computer. Wii is for one night a weeknight, and can be part of her screen time on weekends. DS is strictly for long trips, which we take a lot of, and even then I don't like it because she hasn't learned to entertain herself in a cooped up environment like a car. Screen time is the first priviledge she loses for misbehavior, not doing what she's supposed to do around the house, etc. It's a good motivator. If we see issues with it arise, we cut back on her time.

D.M.

answers from Denver on

My husband and oldest son (age 6) play Wii together on non-school nights ONLY. And ONLY if our son is not misbehaving. That said, my husband often plays after our kids go to bed....because he just "can't" wait.

Does your husband play the Wii with your kids? Maybe HE wants to play on school nights and just can't admit it?

I am not a fan of electronic devices but I am not the only parent in my home (and my husband is a SAHD so I try to defer to him unless I think he's being unreasonable). I am not excited that our 2 and 6 yo play with Leap Frog toys pretty much WHENEVER we are in the car. But....my 2 yo has learned to count to 10 from his and my 6 yo is learning from his too. So, I just accept that one.

So, with the exception of the Leap Frog toys, we do it it your way.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

My kids grew up in a "no video games in our house" rule. No x-box, nintendo, DS, etc. (this was before th Wii).

We did have a computer that was not connected to the internet where they were allowed to play educational games. It varried depending on our schedule, some days only a few minutes and some days an hour or two. It was also treated as a priveledge and as quality time with mom. My daughters and I had fun playing "I spy" and "Where In the US is Carmen SanDiego".

So I agree with you, the amount of time should be limited.

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L.E.

answers from Provo on

I limit my kids' screen time to avoid idleness and addiction and I don't apologize for it, even though my husband thinks I'm too strict. My kids get to watch up to 30 minutes of TV in the morning IF they have first completed everything to get ready for the day (we have a poster with pictures of each task that they can do themselves). They can also earn a reward for doing other chores throughout the day, behaving well at bedtime, etc. Those rewards include 20 minutes of a computer game but I also tend to let them only do computer games no more often than every other day. We watch an occasional (no more than once a week) family movie together. At school they play computer games and even watch movies for library time (I'll save that gripe for another day), so I think limiting screen time at home is just good wisdom. Good for you!

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K.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

i definitely feel like some limits are good. even given all of the positive things people say about video games, etc. i think it's good for kids to do a variety of activities. our kids are allowed 20 min of computer time ea day. during the week their time on the computer must be spent on an educational website (factor tree, fun4the brain, etc.) and on the weekends they can play something fun. we do not even turn the tv on school nights which means no wii as well. by the time we do homework, chores, activities, dinner, etc. if there's any time left we read. so they can play the wii on the weekends and tho i do limit them to about an hour or so i am not excessively strict as they don't get any time on it during the week. since we've completely taken it out of the equation entirely during the week we don't have to have the daily negotiating about who plays first and how long ea person got, etc. good luck!

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A.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

There are certain times when my older son has literally played every day for several days, but it really goes in spurts. I agree that most of the time especially during school days that time needs to be limited. My kids really don't have a lot of time for the WII during the week. My basic expectation is that homework, piano practice and chores are finished first. I don't really set a time limit unless they all want a turn, and don't want to play the same game. Also if they fight they are done. When it is good weather I do encourage them to go outside and play. Jump on the tramp, ride their bikes, etc. Most likely you and your husband will have to come to a compromise. Like Saturdays they can play as long as they want if chores or done but limit it during the week.

Good luck with your decision. For my kids they might play a lot for a few weeks then really they get bored and move to something else.

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R.S.

answers from Denver on

We limit the time he plays. during the week we really don't have time to play WII and he still has a limited amount of TV time (after homework and chores done--because my hubby LOVES the TV and turns it on as soon as he gets home)

We find that if we don't limit the time he will just play and play without any breaks (even to the point he'll wet his pants because he's waited so long) We had a huge argument last night because we told him he had 30 minutes to play. at the end of the 30 minutes it was "just 1 more minute, I'm in the middle" after another 10 minutes I had to turn the TV off because he wouldn't stop. He now has lost his priviledges for 2 weeks. He feels we are very unfair but I feel it's a way to show him that there are other things to do than just WII and video games. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

We limit screen time to generally 2-3 hours a day, and only after HW is done. So no TV, computer, Wii, etc, until after 5 pm anyday. On Sat and Sun am, they may have screen time in the morning until we have to get ready for our day's activities and then not until 5 pm again.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

The DS is within reach for her to get to occupy herself if I receive a phone call or have to fix dinner. Otherwise, homework is done first, then dinner, then get ready for bed, and then if there is time she can play on the WII.

She is 5, so she also has the Fisher Price Smart Cycle that she drags in our room and plays while we sleep in on a weekend. She pedals and chases letters, until we are up and moving. That I don't mind because it is mandatory exercise and she is learning something.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Our three-year-old plays Wii and Leapster 2. Wii, he is limited and only as a reward to him for cleaning room, not peeing the bed, and behaving. All games are kid friendly and I have noticed him learning things quickly. Counting to 20 and from 10 backwards. Knows numbers to 10 by sight and all the letters of the alphabet. They can also be a lifesaver for last minutes you need to get dinner done or some other chore done in the house.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I think it really depends upon your family and household. At our house, we don't impose restrictions on the Wii (or the DS's or the ipod or the electric scooter, or anything else really). We also don't have a problem with our kids over "indulging" in those activities. If we DID have a problem, then we'd HAVE to impose limitations. But our kids are pretty self limiting. Heck, our 9 yr old daughter decided to not use her brand new ipod touch (that she just got for Xmas) for a week, just because. She didn't even tell me she was doing that until about day 5.

Our kids prefer to play outside or are otherwise occupied a lot of the time (karate, piano, friends, books, legos, homework, whatever). So when they want to veg out with the Wii... not a big deal. When they get to hour 2, we tell them that "after that game you have to turn it off for awhile" and they do. And often... don't come back to it for days! :)

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K.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We have a WII and we don't let my 6 year old play it much. His dad will play with him for an hour or so but not every night. We have made it known that if he doesn't have homework and reading done he doesn't get to play. Plus sometimes he can be very sassy if he thinks he doesn't get his way and we won't let him play. So I don't see a problem putting a time limit on the playing the video games but if it is nice out, they need to be playing outside and not in. Good luck it making the decision with your husband that works for your family.

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

When we first got our wii for Christmas, I did not have rules and let them play it as long as they wanted. That lasted about 2 days and then they wanted to find something else to do. I find now that it is only when there is a new game or friend that it is played with again. If it happens to be a school night, homework must be done first and then it is turned off at dinner time.

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