Will a Small-for-his Child Fit In?

My son was always in the 2-5% for height and weight from birth. He is now almost 24 yrs old, college grad, works full time, and is 5'4" tall. He has always known he was smaller than the other kids (really how could he not notice) however it's never held him back from anything.

The best thing I can suggest is when he asks or mentions anything let him know that people come in all shapes and sizes. Some people are heavy some are thin, some are tall, some are smaller, some have dark hair, some have no hair. It's the differences in people that make the world interesting.

My oldest is very tiny and always has been! She really did not start to notice until about 2nd grade. She is 11 now and is still the smallest in her class, but I'm hoping in middle school we will find some more little girls. She weighs 51lbs and is 52 inches tall and my 6 year old is about to pas her up!

There are lots of short people in this world and many of them are extremely successful.
I would venture to guess what a small person lacks in size is generally made up with by personality.
Many great things come in small packaging ;)

Well I know the girl in my daughter's class figured it out when she was learning to drive and realized that according to the car manufacturer she should ride in the back seat.

Of course she just joked about it because no one in the class really cared about size. :)

If it does not bother your child, that is good.
Don't make him feel self-conscious.

My friend's son, is small and petite.
And as compared to his peers in his grade level. 3rd grade.
He is older than your son.
AND he has NEVER had any problems because of it, he is a good normal well-adjusted confident, child. And he has many friends. And he is not passive. He is well spoken and knows, himself.
Kids don't pick on him just because of his size.
And also because, his parents never make his size... a big deal.

Did you see how you described your child? "He's smart and very social and strong." You then go and focus on his other God-given characteristic and say, "He's not bothered by it"...and if you always have in the back of your mind that he's just not up to par, your oh-so-smart "smart" kid will figure it out and he will pick up on mom's social cues.

Think about the things you value in a friend or loved one. Is it their height? How much cash they have, what kind of car they have? Or is it their character, their smarts, their kindness, their integrity? Teach your child the same thing -- that character and smarts count more than looks and physical appearance. Why? Because that is the truth.

You know those kids that might be less than kind to your kid, maybe their parents ingrain the same BS that you are getting hung up on. Being different, or having a disability, or being smaller isn't bad. Teach your child that he can make a difference by helping others and doing good things, that being good isn't based on his looks or height.

Now if you are concerned that your son might get picked on because of his stature, get him into sports and some self defense because a lot of kids see 'different' as something bad. I wonder where they get those ideas from. If more parents focused teaching their kids about kindness to others, character ALWAYS counts, being different is good, the world would be a nicer place.

Hi, E.:

There are alot of petite children and even adults
in our community.

The size doesn't matter. As long as a child feels loved
and accepted by his/her mother/father then the child
will grow up to accept him/herself for who he/she is.

Good luck.
Thanks for asking.
D.

I can't remember a time when I was younger, that my size every mattered. Personally, I think it only becomes a big deal with the child is insecure about it. If he doesn't care, it's likely no one else will!! I have ALWAYS been small. Even as an adult, the only time I broke 100 pounds was during pregnancy. I'm around 97 pounds at almost 30. Even now, people assume I'm much younger...and sometimes don't take me seriously, because of that...but it only take a few minutes for them to realize they're wrong.

My daughter is tall for her age, the second tallest in her class. She really isn't bothered by it and I don't think she notices.

They do try to charge us more and sometimes look at me as if I might be lying when I tell them her age for tickets/seats.

I was always the shortest in my class and it never really mattered when I was a kid. I was just short.My daughter is tiny as well for her age she's 10 and just hit 60lbs and 4'3" tall after a major growth spurt. and she's still tiny compared to her class mates.

I don't have any experience with size by my DS is 8.5 and still does not really seem to care about any difference he has with his classmates.

My son just turned 8, and is in the 2nd grade. He is very small, only weighing 51 pounds. He is extremely healthy and active, but he's tiny. I'm extremely small, too, so he comes by it honestly. ;)

His best friend is large for his age, not overweight - just a big kid. He's very tall, almost my height (4'11") and about 90 pounds.

The boys know they are very different sizes, but they don't care. They mention it from time to time (Oh, those aren't my shoes - they must be yours; they're huge!). At school, my son realizes he's smaller than the other boys, but he doesn't mind. He's outgoing and well-liked. Being small hasn't impacted him negatively at all. As far as your question about when he realized he was small, it was probably the beginning of this year before he realized it (second grade).

An interesting side note - my oldest is 14, and in the second grade he was exactly the same size as my youngest. He was tiny. Now he's in the eighth grade, and he is taller than average, and has a thin, but athletic build. I never would have expected him to be tall, even though my husband is 6'2". He was so small for so long. He just started growing and growing when he was about 12, and he hasn't stopped.

Another thing about having small kids - you mentioned that kids don't take your son seriously. People were always amazed at how intelligent my boys were/are. They are smart (advanced classes, etc.), but much of there perception was because they assumed my boys were younger than they actually were. My boys looked 3 when they were actually 5, so people were amazed at their vocabulary, things like that.

I hope this helps. :)

My son is tall for his age (13 yrs old, 5'9", in 7th grade).
He's always been 99th percentile and occasionally off the charts.
So this particular worry isn't one we've had.
But all his friends are shorter than he is, and his best friend is maybe as tall as my son's armpits.
Being tallest isn't any easier than being shortest, but he gets along with everyone and he was voted as 'Most Tolerant' by his classmates last year.
Kids hit growth spurts at different times, and your son might shoot up when you least expect it.
As long as his doctor isn't concerned, try not to worry.

Both my son and daughter are small for their age, petite if you will.

My son noticed in second grade that the other boys would tell him he couldn't do what they could on the playground or whatever as well as they could, because he was smaller. For the most part he deals with it and knows this grandfather is a small man and is still the most wonderful grandfather ever.

My daughter is so spunky that telling her she is small just makes her work that much harder to prove to you she can do anything just as well as a taller kid.

I'm ashamed to admit it, and i would hope i hide it well enough that she hasn't picked it up, but I tend to think unfavorably of any child boy or girl that is larger/taller what have you for their age. They seem to act more immature probably because i expect them to act their size and they are just acting their age. DD's cousin is an amazon and only 6 mons older than dd, but 2 clothing sizes bigger. When i look at the 2 of them, i think mine is just so much cuter, sweeter, smarter. not nice i know, but .. that is how i think. I'd rather my child be smaller for their age than overly big. oh and dd is only in first grade, I'm not sure if next year kids will baby her more or if it won't matter.

Do your best to instill worth in him that isn't related to his size, help him to be well rounded so he can find lots of activities that fit his personality and try not to worry about something you really can't change.

My son has the exact opposite problem - however I can tell you that two of the smaller kids in my son's school are two of the BIGGEST personalities and they SHINE and sometimes outshine many of the other kids. One is the kid that knows he "Owns this place" and walks around like it and the other is the giddy I want to play with everyone type. He will come into his own and learn how to make it work. I too was taller than everyone (even a teacher in 5th grade) and it does effect things but again, not until you are older.

Three out of my 4 children were really small. My oldest daughter is 4'11" and she's 25. When my youngest son was 14, he was the smallest player on the football team 3 years running. He was 4'9" and 87lbs. Once he turned 16, he shot up like a weed "over-night" and is 5'8"/153lbs.

I know it concerns you, but give it time.

My 5th grader is at least 4-5 inches shorter and much smaller than every boy in his class. He's always been smaller. I was smaller too. I never noticed it until I was in high school.

He's one of the fastest runners on his track team.

Just find him something to do where he can excel and it won't matter what size he is.

Today I'm 5'9". I know my son will catch up eventually.

Of course he will! My neighbors son is 1 year younger than my 9 year old and very small for his age. In fact his younger brother who is a kindergartner is bigger than he is. He has tons of friends, is kind hearted and he and my 9 year old are best buds!

Well my son is smaller than all the other kids in the church care when I go to MOPS once a month. He's turning 4 next week and still fits size 24 month pants/short(but they're high-waters on him)! I have never thought that he is considered babyish or treated differently. I think their actions speak louder than their size. When my son squeals and says "Okee Bookie" to be silly .... I think that makes him look younger than when he says "Hi, Teacher. How are you?" and has otherwise any good manners and social skills.

If indeed kids treat your son differently, soon enough they'll get to know him and your son will prove to others that he's not the baby they thought he was. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it unless your son comes to you concerned that other kids won't play with him.