Will Be Mother of 2 in Oct.

Congrats! I havent read the other responses, but one that I learned the hard way: Start, or introduce the bottle early - even if you are exclusivly breast feeding. Out of ease I did not give #2 a bottle for a few months. Then she wouldnt take it. Got her started on Sippies early, but there were a few months that were very difficult to get anyone to watch her (or rather for me to not feel guilty about what they were going through when I had to be gone). Sleep when you can, get help when you can, get out when you can - and before you know it the winter will be over and you can all enjoy the summer. Good Luck!

Do you have the 2 year old in daycare? If so, keep her there. Then you can devote some day time to the baby and keeping control of the errands and chores. I did this and my first 3 months with my baby son were wonderful! Besides the 2 year old will get bored just hanging out at home all of the time.

the baby brought his brother a gift when we came home from the hospital- just something small- a Mr. Potato head. I also had some special snacks for Big brother when he came to visit us in the hospital. The older sibling was not at all interested in baby- so give them time- some alone time with mom as well. I am also a member of mothers and more so perhaps you could join a club and they are awesomea at helping out. Good luck!

Don't sweat the small stuff!!!

You will live in a cocoon for a little while. The best way to survive all of this is to realize you are really going to temporarily only have room for their care. Obviously you knew that and are getting a head start! Do not expect anything to be perfect except for your love for them. The house doesn't have to be clean to perfection, dinner doesn't have to be at exactly five thirty and you are allowed to have little showers instead of a long one then followed by a half hour with your curling iron All of that will return. So right now, just enjoy your little family. And of course never turn down help! I know you will be so happy! S.

Jamie, Remember the first 3 weeks. Baby will sleep a lot and dtr. will be a bit disappointed at its lack of activity. In fact, that is the most normal reaction by older siblings. Next is exploring baby's face, eyes, etc. A sweet little hug or kiss can turn quickly into a finger in the eyes of a bit too much squeeze on the hand. Keep a close eye on her. Those first 3 weeks are a good time to reassure dtr that she is still very impt to you and to continue to talk about how baby will need to be taken care of. What can she do for baby? Ask for her input. buying a new babydoll that cries and laughs and babbles, if you can find one, is a great idea. Give some newborn diapers to her for her doll. Maybe she can pick out babies outfit for the day. As for you, learn to go with the flow and remember this time is passing. Soon enough baby will be on a schedule and you will get regular sleep. suspend all preconceptions and be ready for a smooth time or a bumpy time. Talk to hubby about how he can help and how to recognize when you are over the limit. Besides a cleaning lady, get a teenager to play with dtr and be in home when baby is asleep and try to get out and pamper yourself or just take a really good nap. That is the greatest help of all, a real break from the 24-7 responsibility.

I agree about making things easier for her to do on her own. I would pour little baggies or ziploc bowls with cereal and put them in the lowest cabinet. I would leave a few sippy cups with juice or milk on the lowest shelf on the fridge. Seems like mornings are always the most chaotic. I just had my third and still do this so he can help get his own breakfast since it seems like the baby is always needing attention at the same time.

I also recommend a baby carrier in a few months. Just keeps hands free especially when you are out of the house.

It's not as hard as you think! you'll do fine :)

A.

My first daughter was also 2 1/2 when my second was born. A great tip I received really helped during feedings: We kept a special box of toys/activities under the baby's crib which big sister could only play with when I was nursing the baby. She would play quietly on the floor while I was in the rocker with the baby. She didn't feel left out (we all went to the baby's room together) and the toys can be switched out as necessary.

As far as making big sister a Mommy's helper, only do this if she is eager to help. The baby shouldn't ever feel like a chore to her, she's only 2.

I also kept a complete diaper changing station right in the family room so I wouldn't have to keep going upstairs and leaving the 2 year old unattended. The baby even slept in a basket/bassinet in the family room sometimes. I feel it was a good way for the baby to learn day from night. During the daytime naps there is some light and some noise. During the night it is dark and quiet. Don't hush big sister too much unless the baby is really sensitive to household noise. The baby will be a better sleeper if it's used to commotion during the day.

I just had my 2nd daughter in June & my 1st daughter will be 3 in December. I was a little worried having my 2nd, but it has been smoother than I thought. Even though I haven't been getting much sleep, I'm not as tired as I thought. I guess since I have been chasing my toddler around while pregnant, as I'm sure you still are, my body was more prepared. Although, I still had trouble making sure I ate and drank enough after having her. Remember to do that, especially if you're going to breastfeed. I think it's a great age difference; my older daughter is very independent & interested in her baby sister. She runs to her whenever she cries, and likes helping to change her diaper and pick her clothes for the day.
The best advice I can give is to take LOTS of pictures and enjoy every second! I hope your labor is quick - good luck!

Everyone is prepared for jealsousy at first. But it wasn't until the baby was 3-4 months that my oldest started acting out. I thought we were in the clear, so I didn't equate the behavior with jealousy at first. I had to take her out just the two of us.

Also lower your expectations of yourself. you can't possibly do it the way you did with your first, there's only so much of you and your energy. Cut corners where you can and just do the best you can. If you never let them watch tv before, or you gave baths every night - now may be the time to reconsider those things.

Also the twin savvy combi is a great double stroller. My graco bucket car seat even fits in it facing forward. It isn't intended to, but is pretty secure.

Dear J.,

I had my kids 21 monts a part and was single with no tv to entertain my son. But we had a lot of books. The best advice I could give you, is make sure you still spend time with the oldest. I did things like... When I gave each of them a bath the other was in the room. I let my son pump the soap into my hand and hand me the wash cloth. I also let him help me get the diapers and stuff. If he wanted to help, I let him to the best of his ablity. When I was nursing her I would read a book to him. The only time he was not allowed to be by me was when I was by the stove. He got to help me do dishes and prepare the food. The other thing is my house was not spot less. I was not super women and when ever anyone ever said anything I let it go in one ear and out the other. Just do your best and do worry about the rest. Oh the crock pot is a great help. If you have people there to help you take it, I would. Good luck and enjoy haveing baby number 2.
B.

Treat your daughter like a little adult now. Tell her what a big girl she is and how she's old enough to help mommy with the new baby. She's special etc. Hopefully she's potty trained or get that done now. There won't be time later plus she'll think it's o.k. to pee or poop because baby does. Also, make sure you have special times for you and her for her being so grown up. Short shopping trips with a final stop at the ice cream shop etc.

Remember they sleep so much in the first few weeks you'll almost think it's easy. I tried to keep my newborn out of sight when he slept so that in those moments, my daughter got my 100% sleep deprived attention and she could forget for a short time that she had to share me.
When I got help, I forced myself out of the house to hang out with my daughter. It was hard when a friend or my mom would visit because I wanted attention too but then I would be again ignoring my daughter while I talked about the baby. I would at least just walk once around the block with my daughter and then go enjoy my company.
I don't know your feeding plans but I breastfed for 11 months but had never planned it that way. Out of convenience, I never used a bottle much and when I decided I needed a break, he had no interest and it was too late. We had a few very stressful months where I wasn't producing milk and he stopped gaining and then lost weight. I was a crazy woman all over the internet searching for answers, pumping every hour and eating Fenugreek like M&M's. My problem was I had a plan but let it go to make things easier but in the long run it made things worse.
Take care of yourself and good luck! Have fun and enjoy! Oh, by the way, those days in the hospital were absolutely blissful. One tiny little sleeping baby to care for was heaven compared with being 9 months pregnant and dealing with a 2 year old's tantrum. Bring your camera with you and take hundreds of pictures.

I do not have an answer for you but a question. I have a 21 month old at home and was considering getting a part time job now that winter is on it's way. Does it help to get out of the house a couple day's a week? Does she go to daycare? I am glad you posted this because we will be trying for #2 and I was wondering the same thing.

Thanks

Routine is Essential!! I would say the best advice I got w/ my first one and I used w/ my 2nd as well was "sleep when the baby sleeps". Get the baby on your family schedule as soon as possible, have the baby nap when your older child does that way you can get a much needed recharge too.
I also had my older one helping w/ the baby and it really did make a difference. I too was prepared for the worst and it was nothing really. GOOD LUCK!!!

Congratulations!
Accept help, especially the first few weeks. Get a few new (or new to her)toys and DVD's for your daughter and take one out every few days. Great advice from our ped was to have the baby bring a present for the older sibling when we came home from the hospital. Our son also loved to imitate what I was doing with the baby with his doll. You will gradually work out the rhythm that works best for your family.
Good luck!

Congrats on #2! You will love having a sibling for the first one. One of the things we did with my son who is now 5 and my daughter is 2, we made a BIG deal about him becoming the big brother. We got shirts for him to wear to the hospital to visit and our daughter "bought" him a present that she gave him on the day they met. He treasured the gift from her (still does). Whenever someone asked about the baby, we were sure to say something extremely positive about our son even if they didn't ask. They have such sensitive egos and listen to everything. I read books to both of them constantly when she was awake so they could both sit on my lap. I read a book to him while I nursed her. I actually got him a doll too so he could "nurse" the baby if he wanted to. He didn't do it, but he did carry the doll around and burped it when I was burping the baby. It sounds silly for a boy, but they see Daddy doing it...so why not?

He actually potty trained within the month she was born. I think it was his way of getting attention. He really didn't get jealous until 3-6 months when the baby slept less. Be ready for the acting out much later than you'd expect.

I didn't worry about routines until my daughter was 6 months old. I let her dictate the schedule, but I did have to be more flexible with her schedule because I was carting him around everywhere. Sometimes overscheduling can be MORE stressful in the beginning. Listen to your instincts and your children's cues and you'll be great! It's not as bad as you might think! Get rest and don't try to be super mom....the kids won't remember it anyway!

The other thing I did everyday was take a shower and get dressed. It made me feel human and ready to face the day. It increased my self esteem.

One final thing...never trust your older child with the baby. I did for a second and he tried to pick her up out of the bouncy seat. I was shocked since he listened to me so well and was so attentive to her. They think they can do so much more than they should because they see us doing it! Best of luck to you...you'll do great!

You will be fine. My boys are just 18 months apart and let me tell ya.lol Anyway, I didn't have the benifit of a lot of help at the time at all. BUT, things worked out and everyone is happy and healthy. The boys are now 6 and 8. My 8 year old just had his bday last week. They are the best of friends and talk constantly.

Jamie,
Congrats on number two! Remember to care for yourself during this time. It gets real easy to try to everything for everyone in the house. Let Dad help (he may not do it your way but it will still be OK in the end) Also love all those children. Make your older feel helpful and like a big girl by having her do little jobs like bring you the container of wipes or a clean diaper. Make as many meals ahead of time as you can. Have girlfriends come over at lunch time to make and cleanup lunch for the first couple of weeks.( 3 times a week is great) Good Luck hope all goes well.
J. O

Hello there,
I am a mom of 3 and I had a 2 year old when I had my son.It was a little challenging but with a routine it was good.Also I clean houses so please let me know a little about your home and what area you are from.Great idea about housekeeping.Beleive me you will need it,I just wish I was able to have it when my children were little.

Great question, as I have a 27mo. old boy & a baby girl due in 4 weeks! I haven't prepared the meals as you have...great idea! I've been talking to my son a lot during the pregnancy about being a big brother & how he can help mommy. He is excited as he has been feeding snacks to his friends (older & younger) and wants to give milk to babies. I'm currently in the middle of hiring a cleaning service as well. We are also going to have the baby bring my son a present in the hospital, a bunny, something he loves. I need to order a big brother shirt too. I'm also taking naps everyday during my son's nap (I stay home), as I know sleep will go downhill once the baby comes. I would advise to try to get as much sleep now as possible. Good luck!!!!! Congrats!!!

You did more than I did and I faired fine. I just had #2 at the end of August and have a 2 1/2 year old as well. Honestly, for me, it has been much easier than I expected. The newborn sleeps so much in the beginning that we have done well. I would say that TV has honestly been a lifesaver and allows me to nurse the newborn while my little guy is entertained and not getting into trouble. I would say have your oldest help with the newborn if possible, get diapers, etc. And try to get back into your routine when you can...I think that this has helped my 2 1/2 year old not feel so left out and made the change of family dynamics much less dramatic since his routine and activities is still the same. Good luck and if you have other questions let me know we are only in week 3 of having a newborn so it is all very fresh in my mind ;)

This may be a duplicate post; but...

If you can get your baby and toddler to take a morning or afternoon nap at the same time, use this time to rest yourself. The chores can wait.

My son went with us to a big brother/big sister class at Palos HOspital (other hospitals have them as well). It was great. He brought a baby doll with and was eager to answer question and talk about babies and even now that his little sis is a year old he proudly displays his Prepared Big Brother plaque on his wall and tells everyone about "his baby".

Congrats.

I also found (if you are nursing), that the bath tub is a wonderful place to do finger painting for the older one while you are nursing the little one (easy cleanup).
J.

Hopefully you will have someone that can help you with your daughter the first couple of weeks. Those were the hardest because you can't lift anything, should sit still, etc. and the oldest child doesn't understand why their Mommy is not able to do those things. Good luck!

try to teach your daughter to do as much for herself as possible before the baby is here. Teach her how to get a snack or cereal , get a pitcher for the milk so she can pour it herself or keep filled cups in the fridge for her to get. Teach her to get dressed, pick out her own outfits, put on her shoes, etc. Make as many things as you can accessible to her so she can be more independent. This will be a HUGE help.

N.

The house cleaner is an excellent idea, The most challenging issue for me was when my 2 yr old son wanted my attention at the same time I was nursing his baby sis. My feelings were torn & I felt like he was getting cheated cause he was 'dethroned' so soon. It all worked out, though. He was my middle child so I had to be creative to find ways so he would feel special.

We went through a long adjustment period with our daughter who was 3 1/2 when her brother was born. I thought she would do better than she did. She was very jealous and acted up for at least 6 months. She especially hated it when I had to sit down and nurse the baby. She would sit next to me on the couch and kick me or pinch me! Or she would go off and do something to force me to put the baby down. This was completely unexpected. Hopefully you will have an easier experience than I did. Try to involve her as much as possible, and praise her for being a big girl, and a good big sister, and definitely spend time with her when the baby is asleep. If I had it to do over, I would have let the housework go, and spent more time with my daughter when I wasn't busy with the baby.