Will It Always Stay This Crazy

Any chance you might be suffering from postpartum depression--even after 10 months it is possible. Sometimes depression presents itself as disorganization and feeling overwhelmed or inadequate. I would definitely mention it to the doctor. I am not an advocate of just throwing pills at problems, but at times it might be the right thing to do. Good luck--and it actually does get easier. My kids are 3 and 6 and while the three year old is quite mischievous, he is a lot more independent and able to help himself a lot.

I struggled when my lil' one was around 10 months....I had been struggling, but it was getting worse....overwhelmed, anxious. I believe it was hormonal...I got on a birth control pill with estrogen (Yasmin) and I have been much better. Also, I saw a career coach for a few sessions and had an "AHA" moment. I am very extroverted and staying at home was actually draining me. Being with other people even for short periods would re-energize me. If you are very extroverted, doing play dates or lunch would probably help. Also, get out in the evening with a friend a couple days a week. Feeling like your four walls is your universe is very crippling at times and can effect your efficiency. I also started on Omega-3's and that does help with focus and overall mental health.

With that said though, life with lil' ones is tough. The supermom speech below is RIGHT on and a daily reminder. I just wanted you to know you are NOT alone and my new life motto is:

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION.

If I can think of one think I progressed in that day (as small as it may be) then I have conquered a lot.

Hug those babies and realize being a mom and wife is a ministry in and of itself. God called us to these roles and with this perspective, our roles seem that much more important. You are doing the work of God, even when you are playing with your lil' ones, cooking their lunch, bathing them, cleaning (again and again), the work of God is NEVER finished---it is a service that we don't seem to recognize or give much credit, but I believe He wants us taking care of our own before reaching out to tend to others.

Yes - you will always feel unorganized. It's just inside us moms to always feel we're not doing enough. Isn't it FUN?!

Here's my quick down & dirty advice - stop trying to be supermom. Take that weekly list and tear off half of it. Then mark off another 10%. Then work on what's left. And the number one thing on that list each and every weeek should be: Play with my girls. If you never get further than that, who cares? Throw a baby shower for the new dust bunnies under your couch and call it a day.

Supermom is a fictional character. Stop beating yourself up about not being her and just roll with the punches. Eventually as your girls get older, things will calm down, and you'll probably miss these crazy times - so make the most of them now. The happiest homes I know are a little bit messy and a whole lot loud.

Good luck - S.

C....
I feel you... I am a sahm of 3 girls ages 4, 3 & my baby turned 1 on Sat. Though things get hectic and you feel like time is running faster than what you could keep up with....it is perfectly okay. You are NOT alone and this is LIFE. Just relax and enjoy it as TIME WILL go by really fast and like my dad always tells me... "One day you will wake up and all the noise/chaos/hectic days will be gone and you'd have missed out on everything because you let the little things get to you." Just enjoy your babies because imo everything is a "phase" and it will get better. Things are not always easy, there are good and bad days but I honestly LOVE it all because at the end of the day I know these experiences are irreplaceable.
~Belle

I don't know if it will always be this way, but I sooo know what you mean!! I have a 2 and 3 year old...boys. I've learned to shower while they watch a show on tv, but other than that...the house is a mess always and as soon as I do get it all cleaned, it lasts about 2 hours. Seems useless most of the time. Oh well, I've never been much of a neat freak anyway, I just try to enjoy these few years I have with them before school.

No it will get better i felt the same way when i had my daughet 2 years ago.. i have 2 kids and they are 9 years apart and all i could think was how was i going to be able to start over after that but i did.. i was at home 2 years with her and i almost died ,i wanted to work so bad.. well i worked for about 11 months and i found myself back at home with nothing to do... so at least you have a small business at home to keep you occupied. my problem is that i have to much time on my hand and its driving me insane so i am now looking for employement desperatly. so it will get better once you get that organization.. what i have learned to do is while there napping do all that you can do. or even at night when you put them down try putting them down a little early so you can at least have you a 30 min break or so .. make time for yourself it pays off.

Two babies at home will always make it difficult to get everything done. Rather than tackle a perfect week, why don't you try tackling one thing a week and then adding to your routine. Routines are a big help in keeping organized. Check out flylady.net for some tips too--I love her system. I am a SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) who is working her way out of CHAOS(Can't have anyone over syndrome) with Flylady's help (which is free!)

Good luck!

It will get better. Part of being a mom, I have learned, is learning to deal with not being able to be the "best" at your other tasks. I have two sets of twins, ages 4 and 1. I left the big law firm and now work at home. I do have help with the children but seems there is always something to interfere with getting the job done; an ill child, a nanny that does not show up for work, etc. It's maddening, but I know that as each month goes by, the children become a little more independent. I can look at the girls and I have hope for when my boys reach that age. I too often have to go more than a day without a shower, but what a tradeoff to have my beautiful children. Take care and learn to "not sweat the small stuff." Try not to schedule so much each week; learn to factor in the unexpected and the interruptions.

I have to agree w/ the others - it will get easier. One thing that might help though is to keep things in perspective. in the Big Picture there are certain things that 'have' to be done in a day as well as those that you 'want' to be done. Focus on the big things first the 'haves' and work in the 'wants' in between when there is extra time. That way you feel like youre at least accomplishing the big stuff, and you wont feel so chaotic. Take it one step at a time, and live in the moment. Eventually you'll find yourself getting into a routine, doing things a certain way every day, that way you'll feel alot more organized.

Try flylady.net
It will help you get in control and it's fun too!

I completely agree with the other moms, but the BIG thing right now is to learn FLEXIBILITY, and to NOT "overschedule" your day. Also, you should check with your doctor about the possiblity of PPD, even though your listtle one is 10 months old. You just may not have been recognizing it for what it was, in that it is a MILD case. It may also be the result of some other condition...mine is narcolepsy and fibromyalgia (I turned 42 yesterday, so I'm an "older" mom). Other than that, as long as the kids are being fed, and "moderately" clean (we have been known to give our son a "bath" with his wipes on occasion!), and your home is not a major health hazard, don't worry about it! Enjoy the day, and remember, your kids will remember you *better* for playing with them, than for how spotless you wanted your house, or how much you got done!

All of the responses are so good!
I really liek the book "What mothers do, especially when it looks like nothing" by Naomi Stadlin. In it she talkes about how moms feel plagued by the feeling of inefficiency.
what a great phrase!
She must be on to something since all the moms here are relfecting that idea.
A few things I think I've learned in my 2 yr long search for organization adn control...
My only real job is to love my child and show her that love through play and attachment.
Organizaiton is an ongiong process. If it isnt' working, try something else. think outside the box. we moved our master bedroom to a small room and the former "master bedroom" is now the family playgroom wtih computers, toys, tv... and i can close the door when somebody comes over if i want to.
but my home is my family's haven. We spend most of our time here, so i'm going to use my space as my fmaily needs it. I desire to have a clena house, but I'm not going to live in my house in a way to accomodate occassional visitors who wish to judge my lack of decorting or unconventional arrangements!
I found that soemtimes reading a book about organizaiton makes me feel more organized even if i haven't changed anything. other times, i get inspired and make a successful change!
I like having a schedule for house maintenance. A schedule that says every monday I clean the floors and every tuesday I clean the ceiling fans. I got this from a book that points out "housework is NEVER done, but with a schedule, you can be." I go through phases of stickign to my schedule and letting it go. but in times of chaos, i can simply look at my schedule and immediatley hae a task to do, get it done, and feel very accomplished at having checked soemthign off of my list!!!
and I get otu of the house as much as possible. Staying home makes more work. going out seems to make us both happy., especially when the weather is nice. my child learns more from 2 hrs at the park than she does 2 hrs at home.
Now, with all the responses, i hope somethign helps! so many angles to consider...
mother to mother support is so great!

Hi. I feel the same the way. I just got a book from Family Christian Store. Actually, they had to order it in, because they were out of stock, but it only took a few days. It is called Simplify Your Life: Organize it and stay that way, by Marcia Ramsland. I got it for $15. You can get it off Amazon also. So far it has helped immensely. I just started reading it about a week ago and I am trying to apply it. I am looking forward to simplifying y chaotic life. I hope this helps.
J.