I was in the (very busy) parking lot of a strip mall with several family restaurants last night. I parked my car and was walking down the aisle with both of my boys. About halfway down the aisle there was a large white pick up truck. An adult male was standing in the back of the pick up talking on a cell phone. Two children, around age 9 and 11, a boy and a girl, were standing on top of the cab of the truck, jumping and bouncing up and down. I have no idea what was going on. If that was their truck and their parent, I can't imagine why they would be allowed to a. damage the truck and b. put themselves in very real danger. There were cars on either side of the truck and a concrete barrier in front of it, so if they had fallen they would likely have hit something unforgiving. There was already a woman there taking a photo on her phone and calling the cops, so I did not get involved.
Would you do something, even if it looked like the "parent" was there and "supervising"? I was in complete shock, it was just so odd.
Interesting responses! The main thing that had me thinking was all of the responses that I have seen on "should you discipline someone else's kids" questions that say things along the lines of "well of course, if someone is in danger, but otherwise, no." That has always seemed like a good answer to me. This was a situation that did involve danger. The truck had some fancy suspension and big tires, so the kids were easily 7-8 feet up. The truck cab was slightly domed and the kids clearly did not have firm footing. I am extremely hesitant to ever say something to anyone about anything touching on parenting in a situation like this. I see that as firmly not my business. I just couldn't help thinking how I would feel if one of the kids took a header off the truck. Not that it would be my responsibility, ever, I would just feel bad about it.
Oh, and just to be clear, I would not call the police in this situation, I just knew that it would be redundant for me to do anything since someone else already went code red on it. I was thinking more along the lines of asking the manager of the restaurant to call the mall security people. I am positive the mall does not want that behavior, for liability reasons as Leigh said!
The truck was parked, right? I guess I don't see that as so dangerous or unsafe. I mean, the kids could fall jumping on the ground just as easily.
I guess I don't find it to be a big deal. I did much riskier things as a kid that age. As long as it was their own car I wouldn't even bat an eye.
That being said, if it were MY kids, you bet they wouldn't be doing it. I've become too overprotective, even though I know there are much worse things.
ETA: Don't ALL of our kids play at the playground, climbing the structures, etc., where they could fall at any moment? There is danger everywhere, but I feel that a 9 and 10 year old are capable of handling jumping on top of a pickup truck. The structures that my kids play on at the park are higher than the top of a pickup. Really, it doesn't sound like it was that dangerous of a situation.
Hey, I rode in cars with no seat belt as a kid sometimes, so it's fine for kids to ride unbelted now, right?
No.
The logic (not yours, A.!) that "I did that and worse as a kid and I survived so why worry?" is...mind-boggling. Yet it always comes up with questions like this. Because someone jumped off a roof at age nine and lived to tell the tale, why get all upset when you see the neighbor's kid jump off a roof today?....Yikes.
Since someone else was (rightly) already turning in this doofus dad, you didn't have to do anything -- though if this had been a mall with an office (and not a strip mall, which I assume had no central office for the property), I would suggest going to the mall security office and telling them what was going on and suggesting they take a look. When the dear kids fall and crack a skull due to dad being an idiot, dad is probably going to find a way to try to sue the owner of the strip mall. Because dad may be stupid but he's not THAT stupid, right?
I'm with you. I would have been appalled and upset like you were. But I would not have approached the dad since he might have gotten belligerent. I'm glad someone was doing something. But don't risk your own or your kids' health by approaching this kind of person.
Unless there is true danger I mind my own business.
I would have alerted the security (if there was a staff, there usually is) and asked them to address it.
I was in a parking lot of a grocery store in a neighboring city that is in a mall and not in a good neighborhood. I saw a young boy (maybe 8? He looked maybe as old as my younger kids) sitting in a car unattended. This is not a quick-in-and-out kind of place - the parking lot is HUGE and we were pretty far from the entrance. I asked him if he was OK and he said he was. I then asked the nearest police officer (yes this grocery store has detail officers on duty all the time) to please check on him. He thanked me for giving him a head's up and headed towards the car and I went on with my shopping. Maybe it wasn't my business, but it was not safe to leave a young kid in the car at this location.
My kids would have pointed it out as being stupid and would pester me to do something about it.
Problem is, there isn't a whole lot I could do about it. The stupid are also often aggressive and I really don't want to deal with that or put my kids near that. So I would not get directly involved. I might call the cops if it really looked harmful.
sometimes dads can be idiots. i would have said something and called because he could have been damaging someone elses truck. but your saftey comes first.
I have to agree with the others. I did much stupider stuff when I was a kid and the parent was there, if they want a dented car it's their car.
You can't parent other peoples kids.
I guess that my thoughts went to "Is this enough of a danger that a call would take the police away from perhaps stopping a drunk driver in traffic, seeing a car speeding down the road too fast, helping someone that is trying to get help because there is someone in their house or they've found their house was burglerized....you know, true crime sort of stuff where peoples lives are in danger.
I would have not called and bothered the police with something like this. If this was truly his pickup and his own children then he was supervising them. Not in a good way though, that's for sure.
I would have called if the truck were moving. :-) And commented to my children that if I ever caught them putting footprints on my car like that, they'd be responsible for scrubbing every inch of it and they'd also be learning how to wax cars. Then I'd turn to my husband and give him the evil eye.
Now you know why you see so many ugly cars ... some people are ignorant and YES its generational. It was none of your business to stop them. Dads are crummy caregivers sometimes, and this one didn't have any pride in his ride either---probably a dude on welfare and someone gave him the truck so he didn't have respect for it.
