Words of Wisdom--1st Pregnancy

Updated on March 23, 2011
R.L. asks from Kirkland, WA
23 answers

Well, I'm officially joining the ranks with the rest of you--I'm pregnant!!! My husband and I are excited, we've been trying for a few months, and this is our first. But alas, I need to draw some wisdom and encouragement from you. While I'm so excited, I also feel a little ambiguous and nervous. I'm only 5-6 weeks, but I am wondering how the heck I am going to go through this? The changes in my body, the labor, the adjustment to a newborn...it's all so overwhelming at this point, and frankly, I'm terrified. I think part of me didn't think I would get pregnant for a while, so I never really thought about how I would feel after it actually happened. Either way, I guess it's just the rush of emotion and excitement surrounding this new chapter. Any words of wisdom? How did you connect yourself with the reality that you are PREGNANT? What is this going to be like?

Thanks for the advice :)

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Wow, thank you all so much for the great tips and warm wishes! At the risk of sounding mushy, I got quite teary eyed reading some of your responses. I feel like Ive been understood! Its great to hear from women who have been in my place. And wow, I cant wait to hear the little heartbeat :) I will definitely be checking out the websites (and buying a body pillow). Although, I cant imagine a forum with support like this. Im sure I will be posting and reading a lot more :). Thanx again for your uplifting words in this crazy exciting time!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.N.

answers from Boston on

I agree with everyone! I remember we started trying and ended up pregnant in the second month. When i wasn't the first month I remember feeling let down, but then tried to make myself feel better by thinking of all the things I could still do and even talked about planning a vacation. Then the next month i ended up pregnant! I almost felt....disappointed. Which I actually think now was just my anxiety of the unknown!

Try this website, i loved it with my my pregnancies. You can create a profile and follow along with other women in the same week as you!

Www.I-am-pregnant.com

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.P.

answers from New York on

You are not the only one with these feelings! My pregnancy was planned but I got pregnant only 2 months after going off the pill and since I had no morning sickness I didn't even know I was pregnant. When I took the test I was so nervous, I felt like a teenager. Lots of women have complex, mixed emotions regarding pregnancy and motherhood, even when the pregnancy is planned. I loved being pregnant. Every single second. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time makes it "real". Then when you see the ultrasound and feel the baby move, its so amazing. Enjoy this time, its so special! As for being a good mom, everyone was a first time mom at some point. I used to be in awe of all these women who "had it together" but that is just because they learned to be good mothers. Sounds like you will be a great mom!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

K.E.

answers from Birmingham on

Often the first time hearing the baby's heartbeat is when it sinks in that YOU are having a real BABY of your OWN :)

I also start keeping a journal for the baby during pregnancy.

Take pictures! One now as a "start-point" and then on a regular basis (every two weeks, every week etc) once your belly is growing :)

If you're not already taking prenatals, you should go buy some now! They have gummy ones that taste good too, which I LOVE.

Read everything you can find about pregnancy, labor, birth and babies- knowing the in's and out's will calm you down and help you feel like yes, you can do this and just feel prepared.

Pay attention to your body!

Here's a really good website to get you started on reading :)

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/isitsafe/

Good luck!!!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R..

answers from Chattanooga on

Get the book What to Expect When You're Expecting... best book ever! It goes week-by-week on the development of you baby. My hubbie and I would read what was going to 'happen' that week every monday in bed. :) One thing I WISH I had done, that I didn't was to get a side-view shot every month. Stand in the same area, and wear the same shirt (Pick one you don't mind getting stretched out!! lol.) I only have 3 pictures of my pregnancy because I refused to let anyone take pics of me 'fat', but now I really regret that. A friend of mine did the same-shirt every month thing, and at the end got one of those multi-frame pics (small all the way around, a big in the middle) and when the baby was born, she took a pic. of her belly but cradling the baby there. That was the center pic. It was sooo cute! Also, get a body pillow. I used mine a LOT, especially when I was big enough that I wasn't 'supposed' to sleep on my back any more. I am naturally a stomach/back sleeper, so the side sleeping sucked. The body pillow helped because I could put it between my knees and hug it, so my back/hips didn't hurt so much. (I had pre-existing back issues...) This site is awsesome, and you can come asking questions when you need any more advice, venting, or general wondering. Use it to your hearts content! lol. Congratulations!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Richmond on

look down at your feet, wave!!
because you wont be seeing them in a few months.
now, pick up your bathroom scale and throw it in the trashcan.
K. h.

Updated

update, i gotta agree with the other woman who said, find a midwife because all your typical obgyn is going to do is frighten you into believing that you are ultra high risk no matter how healthy you are.you can find a midwife by getting on the internet and checking out home birth advocacy.i gave birth to a healthy 28 week girl in our apartment bathroom, with only the babys father there to help me, he then called the emts, who then
took our baby, then me, to the hospital. i took no pain meds, got no stitches, no medical intervention, and checked myself out of the hospital about 36 hours later.so dont let your doctor fool you into believing that it cant be done
K. h.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Chicago on

My biggest piece of advice is rest when you can, both during the pregnancy and when the baby arrives. Becoming a mother is so physically draining. You will get through this and will love being a mother more than you ever thought possible.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.W.

answers from New York on

Congratulations!!! I am also pregnant, but with my 2nd. Even this time it was surreal. We were trying then when I got the positive test, I kept saying, 'well i have to wait to go to the dr to see if i really am'. well I am!! lol.

There certainly are a lot of changes that happen, but for the most part I think they are gradual. First the boobs and the nausea, then the belly and feeling kicks, then sooo tired and by that time you are ready for the baby to come out!

It takes a while (or did for me) to really believe it and even feel pregnant. Now that I have a belly (i'm 22 wks on thurs) its definitely more real. The best advice I can give is just take it as it comes. Take it week by week. Go buy "what to expect when you are expecting' its a great tool. Another great website like this is BabyCenter- there is a message board just like this on there and you can join a group that has woman that are all due the same time as you. So you can talk about similar things going on that are relevant to each other.
Don't be nervous though. It can be overwhelming, but as the time approaches it is very exciting. I was young when my son was born (at 25) and I just fell into the role so easily. I love being a M. and wouldn't change it for the world. You take things as they come and use M.'s like us and other woman in you life as resources.

Congratulations again. I hope you have a nice, easy pregnancy!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

First of all congratulations! , I was the exact same way and I had to keep looking at the test to make sure , for me it didn't really sink in until I heard the heartbeat for the first time , and I would have days where I would feel so panicked about labor. If you have friends who already have kids then talk to them , they can give you useful advice. Also what you are feeling is normal , but mother nature takes over in the end and you just know what to do when you are in labor and how to take care of your baby once he/she is born. I enjoyed reading about each stage of the pregnancy aswell , you can get a book or look it up online , very interesting for the first time parent to learn when baby has finger nails etc.

Enjoy!!

2 moms found this helpful

H.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Thanks for brining back that wonder of realizing that you ARE going to be a mommy. The baby part just won't feel real until it comes. So its okay to just focus on the pregnancy, because thats all you really can do. This is why every one asks if its your first, because there is nothing like it. Words of wisdom: don't eat too many extra desserts. Post pregnancy weight is hard to loose. Maternity clothes: the set you wear before 6 months is also the clothes you will wear post baby for quite some time, so go ahead and indulge a little. The set of maternity clothes you wear after 6 mo will accommodate not only growing belly, but also now growing thighs, and hips. Think big. Don't eat granola, rather protein, before you first one-hour-glucose test (otherwise you will fail it and have to go in for three hour glucose test). Try to keep up some kind of excersisce. I never realized that pushing out a baby was like running sprints. you need stamina to do it. If you struggle with nausea, cut your meals in half and eat twice as often to keep your blood sugars more even. Invest in a good nursing chair, you will spend a lot of time in it even if you bottle feed. If you only take one class, take a class on breast feeding over laboring and delivery.

2 moms found this helpful

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Welcome! Just take it all one day at a time. I signed up for babycenter.com and got an email once a week saying "This week your baby is about the size of a lima bean.... growing fingernails.... etc." Fun email to get once a week. PLUS - we are all here for you every step of the way. Ask us your questions and get ready for answers. Get a pic of the itty bitty baby. My first sonogram was at 8 weeks old or so and i loved that litte gummy bear picture I got. Made it all very real for me. Congrats!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Chicago on

When I started getting sick wih morning sickness I knew evrything I was doing was for the person inside of me. Take everything for what it is and enjoy it bc it goes pretty fast..not so much during the last few weeks bc you will probaly be mentally done with it but you will miss it. Ur belly, the kicks. Once you see your child though, you will be in love. U will live and breathe for this beautiful person that belongs to you. Good luck and enjoy!!!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Congrats! That is so exciting :)

I'm due any day with my 3rd and with all 3 pregnancies it doesn't fully sink in that I'm having a baby until I hold them in my arms ;) It's easy to see the hard parts of parenting-sleep deprivation, being on call 24/7, pain of birthing, hormones etc. etc. But when it comes down to it you just take it one day at a time and get through it. It's the part that you can't see that really makes it rewarding and all worth it. I never would have guessed that I would love being a mom so much. I can't even explain it.

For each stage it is only temporary, morning sickness, giving birth, sleepless nights. It may suck at times but it ends. And throughout each stage you witness all these tiny miracles happening. You watch this tiny baby turn into a person with their own personality and sense of humor. You watch them learn how to solve problems and become independent. You see yourself in them and how they are their own person at the same time.

And even though there are a lot of hard parts of parenting-just look at all of us who go on to have more than one. That says it all. :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I felt the same way when I got pregnant. It's so much to take in all at once!! Holy cow! I remember one of my first thoughts was "Stop this ride! I want to get off!!!!" I felt the same way right before I married my husband too. I certainly wanted both but it hits you what a commitment you're making and it's scary for a few minutes. It definitely takes time to get used to all that's going on, the changes in your body, coming to terms with how your life will change etc... For me it felt less surreal and more real once we had our first ultrasound. When I saw and heard that heartbeat and saw my little bean I just wanted to wrap my arms around that little bean and hold it tight and protect it. Everything changed after that and all started to fall in place. It became very exciting at that point. Congratulations!!!

1 mom found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Dover on

Congratulations! It sounds like you've already gotten some great advice on here! Everyone feels a little aprehensive the first time around being pregnant, so don't worry about that. I was 22 when I had my first baby, so talk about terrified!! I was 24 when I had my 2nd baby & was much more relaxed throughout the process because I knew pretty much what to expect & when to expect it. It's the fear of the unknown that's getting you right now, so make the unknown, known! I agree that What To Expect When You're Expecting is a fantastic tool & there are tons of websites out there that will send you emails giving descriptions of what's going on with the baby based on your due date, etc.

Slowly but surely you will begin to really feel pregnant, you will hear the heartbeat, you will feel the first tiny fluttery kicks, you will most likely feel tired during the first & 3rd trimesters, you'll get all the good & the not-so-good, but really, it's all pretty fantastic! Being pregnant & having a baby is what you're built for so even though you're nervous & you'll second (and third) guess yourself a lot, trust your instincts & when in serious doubt, ask a pro such as your mom!

Best of luck to you!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Oh, Congratulations!! So happy for you. Yes, it is overwhelming the first time you find out you are pregnant! So much to learn, so much to experience. But, once you hear the heartbeat the first time, your heart will melt. It can be very overwhelming. I always cry when I hear the heartbeat for the first time. And then the ultrasound. Amazing! Makes it that much more real to see your baby moving around, sucking his thumb. And when they kick! I miss that so much! It is such a privilege to carry a baby in pregnancy. I highly, highly recommend the book, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. Great book! It will help you through the various procedures and educate them on all of that.
Enjoy, enjoy!!

1 mom found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Ha, I was 30 when I got pregnant and felt just like a clueless 15 year old who had just fallen off the turnip truck. I had no experience with growing babies.

What I did not do was read the "what to expect when you are expecting" book. My hospital gave me one, but I remembered when my girlfriend read it and then automatically thought she had all the bad things happening to her. LOL So I skipped that one. I think my son's father read more of it than I did.

I looked to my doctor for advice, listened to my body, and just took it week by week. When I had a question, I asked my doctor. I didn't listen to the other ladies in the check out line telling me horror stories. I did take child birth classes so I knew what to expect and did talk to the hospital to know what to expect there when I went into labor.

I actually had a wonderful pregnancy - stress free and tripping through the tulips in my uniformed bliss.

My best advice would be to take it slow - it is a huge thing to sink in. Don't project and start to worry about things that are going to happen way down the line - like schools, and prom, and college. Do ask questions when you have them, do eat a balanced diet but let yourself give into cravings (they are odd and quirky things - I actually ate and enjoyed brussel sprouts when pregnant!!) Ignore the horror stories - we women are so weird about weirding each other out about pregnancy sometimes. LOL

Most of all, enjoy this time. It's fun and exciting and a little scary and overwhelming at times - but gosh, there is nothing more fun than buying itsy, bitsy baby booties knowing that soon you will have a beautiful child to wear them.

Congratulations on your pregnancy - Enjoy it and have fun!!!!

God Bless

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

Relax, Mom :) You'll get through it.

Just take it one day @ a time and avoid people with labor horror stories like the plague. Every woman's experience is so different. I had a hard time (until I got the epidural- highly recommend those) but I got through it -and I'm a total wimp :) but my best friend just had her 1st baby 8 days ago and pretty much breezed through it. By the time you get to your 37th or 38th week, you'll be so sick of it, you won't really worry about it anymore- you'll just want the baby out :)

As far as the changes in your body, they happen very gradually, so you have time to get used to it.

The adjustment to having a newborn is also different for everyone. Luckily, you have all of us here when you have questions. I wish I'd known about this site when I had my 1st!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Austin on

I have 3 children. The best advice I can give you is to hire a midwife and give birth at home or at least at a birth center. It is safer and healthier for you and the baby. Your birth experience will be with you forever. And there is nothing in the world like catching your own baby!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Norfolk on

First of all Congratulations!!!! You have gotten some great advice already but I thought I would still add some more. I'm a mom to three and each time I got pregnant I felt the same way and all three times everything turned out just fine. I will have to agree with those that tell you to find a Midwife. They are awesome!! My last two children I had a midwife and my labor and delivery experience was so much different and better than my first. I think the best book to get to read is your pregnancy week by week. I liked it much better than What to expect when you are expecting. Just remember to ask questions and to trust your own body. Good Luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I read your question and the What happened posting. It's great that you are finding your way through this pregnancy journey, with more hope and excitement.
I would like to add a few things. I strongly suggest you look into midwifery care for your pregnancy. Midwives are expertly trained to work with women through all phases of their lives. They are experts in pregnancy and labor. The visit with midwives provides time to talk about who you are as a person,your family your history, your fears, excitement, questions and many other details of who you are as a woman. They treat pregnancy and birth as normal natural things, not as a medical issue.
Wanted to let you know that these great women are available to you wherever you live.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I think you're feeling like any other expectant mother -- esp. with her first child. You just get through it step by step. The most important things in my pregnancy were having a great doctor who I trusted and having a supportive husband. What many women have that I wished I had had was the support of my mother (she was sick with Alzheimer's by that time). You will be fine and you will connect with being pregnant and the baby. And realize that everything the books and your friends tell you you HAVE to do, you don't really have to do. So, you just decide how you and your husband are going to parent and then you revise it along the way. Parenting is one of those rare instances when the Beatles song "All You Need is Love" is actually true. Other things help, but love is the magic ingredient. As far as what it's going to be like -- if you are feeling fine, enjoy the pregnancy. In the 21st Century in the U.S., everyone gets through labor. And parenting has its really tough moments, but the joy of your kids makes up for them.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Bellingham on

It's normal to feel anxious... But everything will just come natural... IRS almost as if you're a pro.. As soon as u hold your baby for the 1st time, u will just know... It's a mommy thing, and until u experience it for yourself, u won't fully understand what everyone is talking about... Best feeling in the world... =)

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions