A few months ago I posted about whether or not I should stick it out with my employer. I work part time, which allows me to drop my kids off from school and be there to pick them up when they get out. For the most part, my boss is very flexible with my hours, but any deviation from work, is unpaid (no sick or vacation, just holiday pay). I also get paid pretty well for being part time. But the atmosphere here is horrible. When I posted this before, most everyone replied that I should basically suck it up because I have it good with my hours and pay, so that's what I've been doing. But it just hasn't gotten any better. It's a 3 man show, the CPA (my boss), the tax assistant/receptionist, and myself. I work on the financial services side, setting up IRA's, running reports, etc. The receptionist is moody at best. One day, she's my friend, the next she is mean, won't talk to me, gets mad if any part of my job requires anything from her, etc. My boss is very disorganized, flaky, and mean. Just this last Friday we went to a monthly meeting with other CPA's and assistants. He actually said in front of another CPA that I need to quit being a WUSS. I felt so small and stupid. He is pretty much unapproachable IF he even shows up to work. I try every sort of communication techniques from emails, to scheduling meetings on his calendar, to sticking my head in his office. And usually he just blows me off. So I do my best to work in my office without bothering anybody. But I also came in without experience and have had no formal training. So from time to time, I need to ask for help. Like today. I asked him a question about how to set something up and he practically came unglued. He was rude, condescending, and just plain mean. I finally snipped back at him after taking it for months on end and walked out of his office without any resolution. I went outside and cried. He hasn't apologized and I haven't talked to him since. I've had enough. But how can I leave with the flexibility I have with my hours and decent pay? I feel so stuck. Although after my daughters daycare expense (nearly half my monthly wages), I bring home enough to help us get by. We need what little I bring home. I just don't know what to do. I dread going to work everyday knowing how yucky the atmosphere is here. I have tension pain in my neck and shoulders every day, and I'm overall becoming an unhappy person myself from being here. I just took this job last November, and prior to that I ran my own in home daycare for 4 years. Obviously I lost all my old clients, and I really don't want to go back to that. I'm done changing diapers and working around all the parents work schedules when I have to run my own kids around every afternoon for their activities. Any suggestions?
Tara - Thanks for taking the time to respond! To answer your question, I have a Bachelor's Degree in Business. I worked in the Retirement Plan field for 7 years or so (mostly with the same employer/people the entire time) then became a stay at home mom when I was married to my ex. Then I went into in home daycare. I don't necessarily need to utilize my degree I suppose, as long as I can get decent pay.
Thank you all for your encouraging responses. I know what I need to do now, I just need to start looking. My boss did finally come into my office yesterday and apologized for his behavior yesterday. I told him that almost every time I need to talk to him, he talks condescending and is short with me. And I told him I didn't understand why because I don't deserve it. He then spent the 5 minutes I needed and talked rationally with me, which was nice. But I'm sure it won't last. I guess I just need to actively start looking and fingers crossed, I will find something that is part time with the flexible hours I am needing with the kids.
Find another job, just that simple. You need to be more content/happy with the job than not.
However, be aware that every job has it's plus and minuses. Good luck.
There are always options, and when things get bad enough, other options that didn't look so hot before start to become appealing.
Talk with your husband & see what type of schedule the two of you can maintain that offers as much benefit to your family as possible. It seems clear that you cannot stay where you are at currently.
If your children are in school, that helps with the daycare needs. If not, perhaps you need to find work in the evenings or weekends, so that your husband can watch the children while you work. By doing this, your family can afford for you to take a job that might pay less, since you'll be keeping more of it.
Also, look into getting help on making a frugal budget for your household. Figure out what expenses are not necessities, but rather just something you have both become dependent on, & see if you can make it as a family without your income. If so, that puts a bit less stress on you to find something immediately.
I don't know what your skills or education levels are, but some jobs that come to mind right off the bat -
retail (costco apparently gives a good hourly wage & is open nights/weekends)
older children afterschool care (no diapers, but for the kids in school who need supervision before the parents come home)
dog walking/pet sitting - offers great flexibility, & depending on your area, can offer a decent amount of money. Don't expect to be able to do it with your kids in tow, however.
Basically, to answer your question of how can you leave with the flexibility & decent pay? You do it for your mental health & overall wellbeing, & work with your family to find something else that works. Is it easy? No. Will you find the perfect solution right away? Not necessarily. But, it can be done, & it sounds like you have reached the end of a rope that is forcing you to see the reality of the decision you need to make.
Good luck, & I hope you & your husband are able to work something out! T.
I couldn't bear going into an environment like that every day, so if it were me, I would find another job.
Good luck.
I know someone that does daycare only for teachers, so when school is off, so is she.
Life is too short to be in that kind of place. Go find a fun job that you can do when hubby is home. That way you can get by with less.
I suggest you start looking and in the meantime, if it happens again, use the words "hostile work environment." That is a legal term and he can be sued for it. He probably knows that so when you say that phrase, you will probably get his attention. Also tell him that from now on when he becomes verbally abusive, you are simply going to hold up your hand (as in talk to the hand) and then leave. That will be his signal that he needs to back up and regroup. I used that once with a boss and it was effective.
I'm sorry - that sounds so lame. If it were me I would be actively looking and applying to other part time jobs. Something will come up and then you can get out of there! I wanted a part time flexible job and I figured it would be impossible to find but I found one within a month. Then 4 months later 2 more part time flexible jobs in my field opened up. If you get the work out to friends and actively start looking I bet you will find something. I have my fingers crossed for you!
Ugh...I hate difficult coworkers:( I've worked with some loonies, so I really feel for you.
Have you considered a temp agency? They have all kinds of short term/long term assignments. You could temp until you find a more permanent job.
Hang in there:)
Wishing you all the best,
M.
I still think I would stick it out. sorry, feel free to look but I wouldn't quit until I had something else
You cannot change someone else. If you cannot change the way you feel while working with them it's time to find another job. If I were in this situation I would accept that I'd tried, done my best and start looking for another job.
So are you looking for something else? I agree you need to decide just exactly how important your flexible schedule is to you, and remember you may be able to find someone else who will offer you the same schedule.
working part time you are most likely not going to get sick time and/or vacation time.
i would, however, highly suggest that if you are going to try to find something else then you need to do that while you are still employed. It is a very sad situation but it also a known fact, in this economy it is much easier to find a job if you have a job. I know several hiring managers who if they have two applicants with the same skill set and one is employed and one is unemployed they will make the off to the applicant who is employed. This attitude is the norm and not the exception.
It does sound like you need to do some soul searching and figure out what is most important to you and what your true options are.
Good luck!!!!
Boy you and I should have coffee! When I was reading your post, I almost felt like I was reading something I'd written. I work in a similar field and I have one co-worker in particular that is my best friend one day and then nasty and won't speak to me the next. It's very junior high. I've been at my employer for almost 10 year and they too are extremely flexible with my job, letting me work at home when my husband is on shift so we don't have to have our kids in day care etc. But like you, I'm miserable. My parents just doesn’t get that and I get sick of them telling me “what good thing I’ve got going” when they’re not the ones so stressed they can’t sleep at night. I have been miserable for a long time but "sucked" it up because of the benefits, flexibility etc. It's just gotten to be so much and it's taking a major toll on my mental, physical and emotional well-being. What good is a job when I'm so exhausted or stressed that I can't enjoy my kids? What good is a job that makes me so crazy that even my oldest said to me the other day when I was talking to someone about what my company does (not what I do) and she said, "But mom, I thought you hated your job." Kids are perceptive and I've made the tough decision to start looking. Putting out feelers for what's out there. My biggest issues is that I may be over qualified for a lot of the positions that I've seen and while I'm willing to take a pay cut to be happier and less stressed, the benefits would have to be comparable. I will say that I have laid this at God’s feet and I’m confident that a resolution is near. But even with His help, I’ve starting doing some of my own footwork.
On a side note, knowing what I do about CPA firms since I worked for one during and when I was first out of college (I have an accounting degree) I would think that you’d be able to find something similar in a healthier environment. There are a lot of small CPA firms around the valley. The tough part may be finding one but you could always do a search on the internet and start cold calling. Not my favorite thing to do but it sounds like it’s time for you to move on. Good luck!
In your first post, you said your boss was a flake. You never said he was mean. Just flaky and didn't have follow through; didn't train you properly; he cancels on client meetings without calling and other flakiness. You said that there's work you often have to redo and you have some cranky coworkers.
If you had said he was verbally abusive and the atmosphere is as bad as you just described, I wouldn't have advised you to stay. My suggestion was to make some accommodations and take initiatives, but if he's verbally abusive and "unapproachable" and your other coworkers are hostile, that's a more serious issue than initially presented.
So. Get out. Look for something else. If you don't need the money, then give two weeks. If you need the money then look in your off time.
I think your job sounds horrible. It sounds like you do make enough money where you can't get any sort of financial assistance on child care too. That stinks because most of the moms that used my center got assistance, even the ones where the mom and dad both worked got some help. Child care is costly. I feel bad you have to spend so much on it.
I'd start looking for a different job. So what if you have to pay for after school care for the bigger kids, you would have much better benefits and pay and a much better work place. The school aged kids would have fun in child care. We always played games, went outside, ate snacks, watched some TV, just hung out and enjoyed being with friends.
You pay for a full day of child care on the little one anyway so it wouldn't cost you any more for her to stay a couple more hours. Over all I bet it wouldn't add $75 dollars more per week to let the school kids go to after school care.
It might be well worth the peace of mind you'd receive.
