Working from Home - Monroe,NC

Hi J.,
I work at home with my husband. We have identical jobs, we work in the same office, during the same hours, and still I do more housework and am not appreciated for it.

I think it's just something we have to deal with. Does your husband like his job? Does he have to work 3rd shift? I'm just asking because my dad worked third shift while I was growing up and missed most of my childhood. He regretted that later.

Your husband might minimize your job as a way of making his look bigger or harder. It might be his way of saying "Appreciate me! I don't like this!" I've found over the years that sometimes men don't directly ask or say what they mean.

I dunno, this is just random ramblings. Take what works!

Good luck!

THANK YOU for what you wrote! I work full-time in an office and have the exact same dilemma. I love him to death, but sometime I think he's going to be the death of me -- so to speak. My work lines are very clearly drawn, but I still have problems. IE: if anyone is going to be late for work it's not my DH (have you ever seen a man have a hissy for 'might be a minute late'-- it's really funny!). Last night I finally bluntly informed my hubby "Go in and start dinner" while I gathered all my things, daughter, & daughter's things to go inside. He was a bit huffy, but it worked better than my normal "Honey, we'll meeet you inside" or "It's almost dinner time." He still expects me to get up everytime our child needs comforting or re-escorting to bed after a night terror and wonders why I get grumpy & would rather sleep than play.

I think I'm going to have to read the book that was suggested.
I know I need help and can't ask his mom (mine passed away when I was 19) for any help. She's old school & was horrified when hubby proudly announced I took a day off from work (really 2) to clean house for Thanksgiving and cook. Her expression clearly said "What did you do for the day--not clean!" Yep, I can pull his teeth easier than get him to clean. (Good news is he was proud of my efforts to fix all the neglect)
All in all, you're not alone! Thanks for validating my feelings. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Hey,

Have you ever considered becoming an Independent Consultant for Arbonne. You could still stay at home with your daughter and earn a supplemental income while doing it. I began my Arbonne business just a few months ago and am having an amazing time meeting other people and building a home based business to boot.

Check out my site www.abriggs.myarbonne.com.

My number is on the site please feel free to call or email me with questions.

The compensation plan is amazing.

Hi J.,

I also work full time from home. I have a childcare in my home. My husband (and alot of other people) look at my occupation as just babysitting. But it is alot more to it then that. He will make comments to me like you just sit and watch the children all day that isn't too strenuous. But I have to do alot of educational things with these children as well as prepare the meals, change diapers, potty train, etc. I do get upset with him when he makes the comment "you don't work you play all day" but he doesn't realize children learn thru there play. I don't have any other suggestions besides the ones that I see listed here. I just wanted to let you know that I as well understand what you are feeling.

Hi J.,

Please understand 2 things 1- I love my husband and 2- I have just as much respect for men as anyone else. BUT I have learned that some men sometimes need things pointed out clearly to them. So, my suggestion (oh and btw I also work from home) show him your next check and nicely point out to him that if you do not have a quiet work place that is respected AS a workplace this goes away (the check)Explain to him that when you are on the clock (just like when he is) you are not available to be a wife or mom (unless of course if it's an emergency) you can't make him a sandwich, get him a drink, check out what he is watching on t.v. etc etc etc. If i at all sound harsh, i assure you i am not. But men's brains are wired differently from ours and have no gray area so things sometimes for some guys need to be straight and to the point (again KINDLY) Good Luck

Hi J.,
I too am a work at home mom. My husband is an outstanding man and father BUT he is a guy. He too thinks I do nothing all day just because I am at home. I started punching a clock to show him just what I do all day. I took an appointment calendar and jotted down my activites for 1 day. Then I asked him to do half of something for example I wash and dry clothes if he will fold and hang. I will grocery shop if he will carry in and put away. Really because guys all are very basic if you just ask they will do it. I know I get tired of asking too but if you need help ask. About the respect for all you do they will never truly understand but I do and I'll be glad to tell you that you are awesome!!! Have you read "The Hot Mama's Handbook'? It helped me to not feel so guilty about not being perfect all the time. Good Luck!

Hi J.,

You can't make subtle hints or suggestions to guys. It works pretty well if you can make it about them, too. I know it sounds like game playing, but that's the way their brains seem to work.

You have to say something like, "If you stay up late working, you want me to congratulate you, right? Then, if you need extra sleep you want me to respect that, right? Then, how come when I put in overtime you say I'm being irresponsible? When I need sleep, why don't you respect me?" OR you treat him like he treats you. When he works overtime, you comment on how he was supposed to be home before then. When he says something like 'we need the money', then you say 'then how come you can't understand that I'm working and bringing home a paycheck, too?'

Good luck!!