WORLD'S. WORST. MOTHER... I Feel Awful :(...

Updated on August 12, 2011
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
27 answers

MY POOR LITTLE MAN!! My son Roman is 19 months old. Last night the girls were in the pool, and I was walking around the outside of the pool about 3 steps behind the baby. He was wearing a life jacket, and every so often would look at me, 'count' to three, jump in, then I'd pull him out. We've been doing this all summer, he's had a blast!

Well he jumped... and caught one leg between the side of the pool and the ladder.... yep, 90 degree angle, THE WRONG WAY... thank god he had his life jacket on so he was still relatively buoyant; if he hadn't, his leg would have kept snapping :(

Having the EMT training I've had, paired with a ton of common sense, I knew it was bad :(

Granted, he stopped crying once we got to the hospital and he met this little old black baptist lady Anita (I thought my son was going to take her home, LOL!!)... he really was in a very good mood; what a super trooper!! He was all giggles for the ladies and everything... but just looking at it, I knew it was broken... And it is, and my baby can't walk :(

My adorable, fat, mischievous little one can't run or jump or walk or do ANYTHING :(...

I know accidents are called accidents for a reason, and there' nothing I could have done, but it sucks being within arms reach and not being able to stop this from happening :(

Blood, guts, brains... that stuff doesn't bother me HALF as much as my son's entire leg in a cast!! He can't walk!!

So first of all, PLEEEEASE WATCH YOUR BABIES AROUND THE POOL!! This could even happen to older kids, if their legs are small enough to fit between that space!!

Second, what on earth am I supposed to do now? I know all about casts, had enough of my own, but he's only 19 months old, has a very short attention span... and he can't walk. I can't put him on the couch, he tries to climb off (then falls because... he can't walk). I can't leave him in the pack and play, he can't sit up on his own with the cast. Do you think a bean bag chair might keep him relatively immobile and comfy? This was, if he does roll off, it's not like he has far to fall...

Any of your kids been this young with a leg in a cast? How did YOU survive?! I'm already losing it... My arms are going to fall off from carrying/holding him, and my eyes are going to melt out of my head from lack of sleep.

My poor little dude :(

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

No advice, but lots of HUGS!!! Poor lil guy... AND MAMA!!!

You need someone to help for a while so you can get some nap time!!!

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I'd give you a pretty large AWESOME MOTHER award for knowing what needed done and handling it....and then being worried about what to do to keep him happy nad occupied when he can't do much. It was an accident, and I know you feel awful because that's how good mom's feel. But he will be okay. I am even willing to bet he won't remember it when he's 5! Poor little guy, but he's lucky to have you for a mama!

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J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

So sorry! My daughter did something like that. Last summer when she was almost two, she tried to climb down the ladder in the pool and one leg slipped off the back. I was so afraid that she had broken her leg, and the old lady that was next to me was totally freaking out about it, so that didn't help! Luckily she was fine. I think the bean bag thing is a good idea, other than that maybe a few walks around the block with him in a stroller? I don't know, but remember
This too shall pass.

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More Answers

A.G.

answers from Boston on

this does not make you the world worst mother!! the worlds worst mothers are the ones who delibertly break their childrens bones or worse... i know this doesnt make you feel any better but you couldnt do anything about it, it was an accident! dont beat yourself up over it, things happen, i hope your family has a wonderful, event free rest of summer!!! hugs to roman!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I think the ONE THING you need to know....is that there is a whole group of moms on this forum who'd like to be there holding your hand right now. R., you are such a huge part of this entity called Mamapedia.....that it hurts us that you are hurting. You are a Good Mom & please KNOW that.

I truly believe that once you have a really good cry & a deep sleep tonight, you will feel better. Please know that your son will be coping wonderfully thru his healing process. Kids are so resilient & so adaptable when it comes to medical needs.

My older son went thru many castings in his childhood, including a body cast following reconstructive surgery for his degenerative hip disease. This was one of many roadblocks during his early life. He did great! & I think your son will be fine. I also think that within a week or two, he'll be up & moving (with the dr's okay). I really like the idea of a bean bag chair, it would really help him prop up. We did use one with our son & he liked it.

Give him lots of "busy" toys....blocks, PlayDoh, etc. I know he's only 19 months, but with older kids in the family - I bet he can do it all! Good luck, prayers for rapid healing, & keep us updated!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

t_5

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S.G.

answers from Norfolk on

R.,
That sucks, I'm so sorry!! It was NOT YOUR FAULT. Kids will be kids and all we can do is be there (which you were). They WILL figure out a way to get themselves in a pickle, won't they?:)
Is he too big for one of those activity tables that have a seat you can sit him in? Or a bouncy seat of some sort? I can't remember what the weight maximums are for those kinds of things. Or maybe call a physical therapist's office and ask them for some suggestions on how to safely let him blow off some of all that ENERGY?
This too shall pass.

3 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

oh sorry girl!!! My biggest comfort to you is how fast they heal when they are young!! My bff's baby girl broke her ankle around 13 months, right after she started walking. In three weeks she was running all over, they couldn't stop her. So I bet he will heal quicker than a fully grown person :) I think the bean bag chair sounds perfect. I am sure mamas will give you tons of great suggestions to get him through. Hang in there!!

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L.Z.

answers from Boston on

I am so sorry! I really feel for you with his leg being broken because he can't walk and you have to carry him... ugh! If it's any comfort, I was standing next to my youngest daughter Wed. at the park, my arms outstretched, ready to catch her off the monkey bars (which were higher than the ones I let her just drop from), when she fell to the ground. She caught her fall with her hand and palm open, but it went under her butt, and sure enough, she broke her wrist. Like you said, the second I looked at her right wrist (broken) and the left one, I knew something was wrong - it looked awful and almost indented. I took her and my 6 year old to the ER, and they confirmed it is broken in three places. We go today for her real cast, which will be good actually, since the temporary is huge and almost up to her shoulder. I do recall thinking, at least it's not her leg... so I feel for you. The wrist is bad enough, and she is cranky, annoyed with it, unable to play and run as usual, can only use one hand, etc. I can't imagine if it was a leg. The one thing I will say to you is this - it has only been two days for us, and I see already that she is adapting and finding ways to get around the lack of an arm. They told me kids are like that and that she will heal a lot more quickly than we think. I hope your son gets the cast off more quickly than you expect. Hang in there...

Hey, at least your mom didn't suggest to you that it was your fault like mine did to me, but that is a post for another time! This is why they call them accidents... I was standing right there and this happened. I don't blame myself and you should not either!

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A.K.

answers from Phoenix on

My son broke his leg @ 2. I feel you on the carrying , he was so heavy w/ that cast! My son was running in that cast. They told me it would be almost impossible due to the angle of the cast but no, he managed. Also , something to warn you of... you & your girls becareful, b/c if he swings that cast around and hits you... IT HURTS! I always had to be really careful when he was around playmates, that no one got hit w/ it. Like you I felt awful when my son broke his leg but now it's one of those things and he still talks about his cast. He loved that cast , wanted to keep it forever.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

Oh R. I'm so sorry. :( Of course you are not the worst mother in the world! We are human...accidents happen. Now if you told us you slipped his leg in between the ladder and the pool and then let go, well maybe then I'd agree with you. ;) It was just bad luck. It happens.

I'd get a wagon if you don't have one already, and line the back of it with a comfy pillow so he can recline a little. Put some books and toys in there and roll him around the neighborhood...to the ice cream store, toy store, duck pond, wherever you can think of. For home I think a bean bag chair is a great idea...you probably also have quite a bit of movies and Disney Junior in your near future.

My mom accidentally broke my little sister's leg when she was 2. They were playing on the bed, rolling around and my mom was tickling her. She rolled the wrong way and broke my sister's leg. If I hadn't been standing right there I might not have believed the story...such a freak thing. But it happened. Talk about my mom feeling like the worst mother in the world! It can always be worse!

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C.F.

answers from Boston on

OMG I would die:-( but you know he's handling this better than you ;-) LOL
Invite a friend by so you can 'crash' on your bed for a good 2 hours.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Is he small enough for an exersaucer still? Or do you have a "husband" pillow that you could prop him up with? Does his highchair roll? You could put him in it so he can sit up, see the world and still be rolled to another room if you need it. Ours has a foot rest that can be set out straight and the back can recline if DD falls asleep.

Friend's son was 4, I think, when he broke his arm. Just tripped over his own feet walking in his own front yard. Kids don't know how to fall and it just happens.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Oh what a horrible thing to happen - but it was an accident.
Years ago I had a boss who's 2 year old had a tv fall on her at daycare (they never took her back there again).
Her leg was broken and she was in a cast.
She healed up in about 6 weeks (kids usually heal up faster than adults).
She learned to walk in the cast after a few weeks, then had to re-learn walking a bit once the cast was off again.
By the time 4 months was past you couldn't tell her leg had ever been broken.
Your arms will get a bit stronger in a few weeks - it's sort of unplanned weight lifting training.
I think any mother would feel horribly guilty after something like this, but feeling that way isn't going to do anything except give you an ulcer.
It's mid August now - there's a pretty good chance he'll be all better before Halloween.
You'll get through this.
Hang in there!

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I had a friend whose one daughter broke her leg, she was maybe three. Then that same summer her older sister, maybe 5, broke her arm.
The baby was running with that cast on and little missy at 5 would use her arm as a weapon against the older two.

Let him get used to it. And see if he can't walk on it. He might surprise you.
THis might be a time I resorted to the electronic babysitter for a while.

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J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Oh M.. You are NOT the worst mom in the world. Like you said - it was an accident. Poor guy. How long is he in the cast for?

Beanbag chairs are kind of hard to get out of if you get good and nestled in it. They do sell those soft miniature love-seat type of chairs too. But a baby mattress on the floor is a nice cushion to use too, only being 2-3 inches of the floor, it's an easy little flat couch. (We have a second mattress that's under my toddler's bed in case he falls out, it'll be soft padding. I know you're tight for space. Maybe you can make your son his own little cushiony spot where you can fit with him (he probably wants company/cuddles) made out of big blankets and comforters.

Think of carrying him around as your "workout" and "muscle toning." And your lack of sleep can be your birth control (remembering infancy where the kid wakes up every few hours.) Is he waking b/c he's uncomfortable? Hopefully the newness of the cast will wear off and he'll sleep better soon, once he gets used to it.

We're here for ya!
j

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

Ouch! I'm so sorry! To tell the truth, I've never been around anyone with a leg cast on so I can't help with what to do for long.....but I feel for you AND little guy. :( Hard not to beat yourself up, but try to shake off the mom guilt and realize you were playing with your boy, not neglecting him.
We have some crafts that I got from the free workshops Home Depot and Lowes gives on Saturdays. I just asked for the craft since my guys are technically too young for the class (don't want to hold up the rest of the kids) but they are neat to do at home. Even if you have to do the majority of it for him, you can do it "with" him and then let him paint it. After the paint dries, he's got a new "toy". Even if it's just a few minutes to build, take a break, then a few minutes of painting, take a break, then some time he'll play with it. You could make homemade sock puppets (spare buttons, old socks, bits of yarn, really whatever). You and your daughter could put on a silly puppet show to make him laugh, and he can have his own puppet to interact with you guys. You could get brave and bake or cook something, where you could do the prep at the table instead of the counter. If you've got broken crayons, you could put them together and "bake" them to make mixed up crayons. (I only had a heart shaped cookie sheet, but that worked out fine-heart shaped crayons, lol). Lots of reading, coloring, crafts. Make your own pinata (paper mache)? Playdoh. Movies. Put him in the stroller if you still have it and take him for walks so he can still get some sun and see some sights. Little ones get cabin fever just like adults.....and faster. That's all I can come up with at the moment. Won't be easy.....but I know you'll handle it. I'm also thinking you could put him in a chair and play catch or bounce the ball up to him, and let him do it back to you. And put blocks and action figures, cars close to him.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

God bless you!!! This is going to be rough, no doubt. I have not experienced this (either myself - never broke anything - knock on wood, or with my child) so I don't have much to offer in the way of advice. But I just wanted to send some <<HUGS>> your way cause I know ya need them!!! Hug little man too.

Hope you get lots of good advice from people who have been there...

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Oh my, I have a toddler and I can't even IMAGINE how difficult this is going to be for you. Good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Houston on

So sorry - I get this feeling in my crotch when my kids hurt themselves - it is so weird, it is right in my groin, and it is like a sharp pain! weird. My daughter climb onto the dishwasher door, at around 19 months, got her leg stuck in the basket, fell forward and broke her collar bone, I felt like the worst mother too.
You could try a big bean bag, but they told me, that I could TRY to keep her immobile, but in reality it wasn't going to work, just try and keep them from climbing. The cast will immobilize his leg, so it won't hurt him if he moves around a little.

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I once cared for a little boy in my daycare that was 2 and he was in a body cast for several months. I don't remember how long it was. This boy had the cast from the waste down and a bar between the two legs. The state placed him with me against his mothers will. I was 6 months pregnant when he started and I think the cast came off just before I delivered. YES, he was HEAVY! He liked to pull himself around on the floor. He did everything in that laying down position. It was so sad.

I'd just set him up with a blanket and toys and snacks nearby and all his favorite movies and yes a bean bag chair might be really nice for him.

Mom, his attention span will improve because of this LOL.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I am so sorry...don't beat yourself up. This accident could have happened to anyone of us. Luckily you were being a responsible Mama by putting him in the life jacket and being right there at the pool in the first place. I pray for a quick recovery...Just love him and help make him as comfortable as possible.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

oooh honey!!! i'm sooo sorry!!!

I don't know how to help you with this one!!! My leg cast was when I was a teenager and I hadn't had a broken leg!!! Just a messed up knee!!

Did the hospital give any advice on how to help him get and stay comfortable?

I know he's too young for crutches - however, I bet he'd surprise you!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

HUGS!!! HUGS!!! AND MORE HUGS!!!!!

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Im so sorry love! Other than a bunch of tv im not really sure. Just want to let you know im sending hugs and strength your way for ypu and roman (love his name)!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Oh boy. Poor kid!
Just an illustration of how your kids can get hurt even when you're literally RIGHT there. :(
No other advice and I have no experience with casts but I'm thinking....lots of DVDs, or Netflix.......
Did they recommend O. of those little push-along walkers or anything?
Hang in there.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

One of my daughter's daycare friends fell off of a table and broke his leg (what he was doing on the table, I'll never know, but it was at home with his parents, not at daycare, luckily!) when he was about 2. He ended up just figuring out how to kind of walk with his cast, even though they didn't want him to. He's young, he'll adapt pretty well.

Try not to be too h*** o* yourself. Accidents happen. We live in such a safe society now that we're afraid for our child to have any sort of bump or bruise, let alone a broken limb. Hurting yourself is a part of learning and growing up. You didn't hurt him on purpose, it was an accident, and he'll be ok. Just concentrate on loving him and being a good mom, not on anything bad that happened.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Oh Rach! Thats terrible but I"m glad hes ok. I'm lucky that nothing major has happened to any of the 3 of mine but I'm sure its coming! You should have had the Aflac accident plan, I won't even tell you how much you cash you could have gotten! =) Good luck with him, I guess he will be slowed down a little now!

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