Would a Nanny Be the Better Choice?

I would look into a nanny or au pair. Friend of mine is a nanny - First Aid certified, early childhood ed training, etc. She cares for the children in their own home.

I turned down a nanny share with a friend of DH's because their oldest child was a terror. No way would I want to expose my daughter to the behavior he exhibited in front of his parents toward his sister. The lady may adore your son, but if she can't keep her grandson from abusing your child, then you need to find other care.

Could you stay home with him? If the answer is no-then you need to hire and train someone.

there are home day cares with a few kids (less than 6 ) with one caregiver.

you can find a mom to watch him in her home with her own kids..

our day care has a kid with a long list of food allergies and he is in day care ..

Have you spoken to her about this? If you have and nothing has changed I would change asap. your son should not be afraid. I have a son who is rough like the boy you describe, and he is learning by time outs that he cannot hurt others. My son has an extremely high pain tolerance and he has a hard time understanding what he does hurts others, because the same thing does not hurt him. But he has to learn, and if that little boy is not learning it is not a safe place for your son. My son is 4 now and has learned pretty well he can't do that to people. It has only happened a few times at pre-school over the last two years. So yes, hire a nanny. You can sometimes find them cheaper. My daughter has a severe peanut allergy(airborne and contact as well as ingestion), so I understand the allergy and she also has a mitochondrial disorder and ketotic hypoglycemia, so I also understand the precautions about illness. And yes, your best bet would be to hire a nanny to come to your home, or find one that will watch him in their home if you can be assured there will be no problem with the allergy issue. After college I worked as a nanny for 3 years for a family, and I loved it. It was one little boy and I went to their house. I didn't get paid a huge amount, but it was great work. I loved it. I am sure you could find someone who loves kids that much and will work for a decent price.

A good nanny who wanted the job (expecting its well paid, on the books, etc, etc), would be the best option I think. Offer to pay for some local classes you may find on how best to care for food allergy issues, child CPR,etc. Resources so they could best care for your child would be important (well if it were me as the nanny, I would certainly want to be as well educated on the needs and topic as I could be).

Best wishes on finding the right caregiver!!

I would check with the local community college and find out who the teachers are for the early childhood education program. they can reccomend some of the good students. When I was in school getting my early childhood degree calls came in every week looking for qualified caregivers. if it is regular hours and a good paying job then students are willing to work their classes around it. I know one of the best care jobs I ever got was doing exactly that.

I would not continue to take him to the grandmother. Your son deserves better than to be at a place where he is afraid.

We have a nanny. Same one for almost 4 years now. She is WONDERFUL and a complete blessing. We're so lucky to have her.
My kids love her, and she does so much to teach them and love them in the same way that I would if I were home.

If you can find the right fit for your family, don't ever look back.

If you'd like a list of interview questoins and the contract that we used (VERY IMPORTANT), PM me with your email. I'm happy to share it.

I'm assuming you've already talked with the grandma about your concerns, and nothing has changed. Either a nanny or a nanny-share with a child who is better behaved sounds like a better option. I agree with you and other posters that it would be a mistake to keep your son in that environment, despite the caregiver's best intentions.