Would You Give the Bike Back?

Yes. I would give them the bike back. I would tell them that I was glad their son was okay and that it wasn't necessary to replace the bike.

Yes, I would give the bike back. Their daughter should not have to pay consequences for what their son did. I would ask them if their son could help you with some yard work instead

Agree with all the responders on giving the bike back but in such a way that they can save face (you were planning to get her a new one anyway, you'd like her to learn a lesson about caring for her belongings, whatever).

Glad the boy is ok.

I would take the mom aside and say "We were planning on buying her a new bike for Christmas, please don't worry. We're so grateful your child is alive and going to be okay".

Yes, I'd give it back. I'm guessing that if he'd asked to ride the bike your daughter would likely have said yes. Also, that she was in the wrong to leave bike out. It was an accident for which both children bare some responsibility. I would give it back even if she wouldn't have given permission and hadn't left it out for campassionate reasons: lack of money and because the bike is the sisters and not the one who took it.

I suggest the parents might be more willing to accept the bike back if you suggested he could do some chores for you to earn the price of the bike.

Yes, but not right away. They are trying to teach their son a lesson. So are you your daughter. You should offer to hold on to the bike as collateral (to help them teach the lesson) so their son can earn it back through chores. Your daughter should earn the money to buy herself a new bike by doing chores as well. Let the parents know you understand they are trying to make it right and so are you. Both kids have ownership and both should pay.

I would give it back. First, the daughter should not have to pay for the boy's action. Second, you say it was a used bike in the first place and you can easily buy a new one. Plus it is actually partly your daughter's fault the bike was taken. I would have my daughter take the bike back, thank them and say it is not necessary. And have your daughter earn a new bike. That is what I did when my daughter left her bike outside and it was stolen.

To add: For the boy, other than an apology, I think he has learned a lesson though maybe not being allowed to borrow something or a while would work as well---including riding his sister's bike or his own.

aw, such good, good people all round.
i would be right there with you. i would SO want them to take that dang bike back.
but think about it from their perspective- they are probably very upset and embarrassed that their son did such a boneheaded thing, and this is the only way they can think of to attempt to right the balance.
if it's not too weird, you could let a few days pass, then talk to them again and re-emphasize how the bike was not expensive, and that you don't want their daughter to do without. if you can give it back without hurting their pride, terrific. but if it makes them feel worse, let it go.
it's nice to see a situation where both parents are really trying to make the best of a bad set of circumstances.
khairete
S.

I would give it back, with a note explaining that your daughter was told numerous times not to leave her bicycle out in the yard, and being without a bicycle for a while is her consequence. Tell them that their daughter deserves her bike back... and that your parents (or whomever) had already planned to buy your daughter a new bike for Christmas.

Basically... lie a little so that you can give the bicycle back without hurting their feelings. And the part about your daughter needing to learn a lesson is probably a good thing.

Of course I would! 1st: Why punish their daughter when the boy is the one who took the bike? It's not her fault her brother took it without permission. 2nd: This is not really teaching the boy a lesson; just teaching him that others will take responsibility for his wrong doings.

I would commend the parents for wanting to teach a lesson and make up for the damaged bike. I would also suggest that the boy do "chores" around your house and/or neighborhood to "work" off the payment (especially since you said you got it second-hand). This way, he will learn he has to pay for his mistakes, the daughter gets to keep her own bike and when weather turns better, your daughter can get another bike.

I would graciously give the bike back with a get well note for the son.

They sound like good people who can't afford to replace your bike, but didn't want to give your daughter a boy bike. If they are good people who are just not financially well off, it's entirely possible they told their daughter they have to make amends for the bike, and sometimes the family has to work together to do that.

If you can afford to replace the bike, just thank them for their generous offer but tell them your bike should have been put away, and you were planning to replace it anyway.

That's what I would do. :)

I would give the bike back and buy your daughter a new one from the thrift store. I would then suggest that when the boy is able he can work off the debt himself.

Yes, I would give the bike back. Gamma G has the perfect solution. It lets them save face, doesn't punish their daughter, their son was punished enough by getting hit by a truck (jeez, talk about bad karma, poor kid!), and your daughter will be punished by the lack of a bike from now until Christmas. I think you can be fairly certain that your daughter will never leave her bike out in the yard again. Luckily nobody was seriously hurt (or killed) and the consequences were extreme enough that the children have most likely learned a lesson here without the need for further punishment.

And I'm so very happy this post didn't end with "and they want to sue us for giving their son such easy access to a bike...they said we should have foreseen this happening when we blatantly left the bike out on the lawn!" Because THAT scenario, sadly, happens more than it should.

I would definitely give the bike back. Sounds like everyone has learned a lesson and your neighbor's daughter is the one getting a bigger punishment than the son, even though she wasn't even involved.

Graciously return the bike and thank the neighbor for being honest about what happened.

I think they are trying to save face, and it's all they can afford. They want your daughter to have a bike, so the girl's bike is the best they can do. But it's punishing the daughter. I don't think giving up his sister's bike is going to teach the boy anything, unless his innocent sister is so ticked off at him that she makes him miserable. But I doubt anyone's going to badger a child who's been in the hospital.

I'd drop them a note and repeat that your daughter's bike came from a thrift store, and that you hope their daughter would be able to ride her bike. Tell them you'd like to give it back but don't want to interfere with any discipline they're administering. Tell them you're giving it back as of a certain date - maybe a few days out. If they really object, they'll have time to get back to you. You can say that you and your daughter want to be charitable to their daughter, and kind to all of them who must be (or must have been) so worried about the son.

I think you can also say that your daughter should not have left her bike out, and giving her the other bike kind of rewards that, so you're not letting her ride the loaner bike even while you keep an eye on it for them. Tell them you are making your daughter earn some money to buy herself a new bike. (If you really are angry at your daughter for leaving her bike out, she should have to do something to earn a new one, not expect you to foot the bill, at least not entirely. I think it's a golden opportunity to teach your daughter that things happen when you leave your stuff out. What if it had been stolen and was gone forever? How is that different from being "borrowed" and wrecked?) I think it's always better for kids if they have to work for other people, not just do chores around the house to get money from Mom and Dad. Your call, of course, but someone else's misfortunate and poor decision-making can also be a lesson for your own child whose actions contributed in some way.

But no matter what, it doesn't seem to me that the sister of the boy is in any way responsible here.

Absolutely. Their poor little girl who lost her bike because of her brother's behaviour! Awkward!

Knowing that the girl would lose her bike when she did nothing wrong? Yeah - I'd give the bike back.

Glad he's okay. Hopefully he learned a huge lesson here. Maybe both your kids did???

Also knowing the other family is poor? Yeah. I would not accept the bike.

I would give it back. I would explain that you appreciate their jester but that you want your daughter to learn there are consequences to ones actions. She is NOT responsible for the young man's actions but she is responsible for her property not being properly stored.

That is how I would address that. On another note, why in the world would they take their daughter's bike when she didn't do anything wrong? Why not sell brother's bike? I understand getting hit is a consequence but seems to me she is the one who is paying the price for his bad decisions. Way to pit one kid against the other. Yikes!

I agree with Gamma G.

Both your daughter and their son should learn something from this. It would be very kind and compassionate for you to refuse the bike. I'm sure their son probably learned something from the concussion and the drama... whether or not he has to do without a bike or not.

Your daughter can be without a bike for a short time, for her "troubles" of not putting her bike away. Whether or not you get a replacement for her at a thrift store, if she has to wait for a period of time, then she will have had an opportunity to digest her role in what happened.

Thrifts store in a few weeks, or new at Christmas, is up to you guys. But it is an excellent "excuse"(?) to go ahead and give the neighbor family back the bicycle that belongs to their daughter.

Just talk to them privately. Be sure you let them know that you also are teaching your daughter a lesson by delaying her having use of a bike, so that they will accept the bike back.

Yes I would give it back. Say something like, we were planning on replacing it anyway so please keep your bike but we appreciate the offer and mostly we're glad he's ok. Good luck.

I just 'love' how they are robbing Peter (their daughter) to pay Paul.
They should sell their son's bike and give you the money to purchase another for your daughter.
That way - you get to choose what your daughter uses, their daughter gets to keep what she has (since none of this was her fault to begin with) and their son has no bike since he stole someone else s and used it recklessly and endangered his own life.
It's nice he's going to be ok - but that's really not the point.
How/if they punish/discipline him is their problem.
They need to make restitution with you on his behalf.
How that is accomplished by you giving their daughters bike back to them I'm just not seeing.
They are still being unfair to their daughter and none of that is on you.
I'm angry they are treating her like a 2nd class citizen but there's nothing you or I can fix with them about how they treat her.

I submit they are DELIBERATELY giving you their daughters bike thinking you will give it back.
You refusing restitution settles it for them and they are out nothing.
Don't give it back.
It's horrible for their daughter but - again - YOU are not the one DOING this to her - THEY are doing this to her.
I might even go so far as to make a police report about your daughters stolen bike.
The fact that their son got run over and a concussion does NOT change the fact that he was committing a crime.
Consider prosecuting the little hooligan.
How much you want to bet he's already got a juvie record?

I delete hate mail so don't bother.

I would absolutely give the bike back.

I like Gamma G's take on it.

Why should their daughter pay for her brother's mistake???

Combine Gamma G & Veruca Salt's answer. :)

Yes!!!! Do not keep the bike, I also think it would be in bad taste to ask the son to do yard work. Just leave the bike on their porch with a get well soon card.

I would also make sure you use this as a teaching opportunity so your daughter realizes her mistake but that little boy in the hospital. His parents could easily sue you.

I would return it. Their daughter should not lose HER bike because of something her brother did.

If it were possible for me, I would replace your child's bike and then give them their bike back. I would let them know that the bike has been replaced and the most important thing is that the little guy is going to be alright.

How about trading the sister's bike for the boys bike who took it. Riding a boys bike could be part of your daughter's discipline for leaving hers out. Tell them you will return it when she gets a new one for Christmas. That way everyone gets to reap the consequences of their actions.