A woman I know from a place we volunteer at and I agreed to both try to get front row center concert tickets last Friday. Whoever got the best seats would buy them and the other pay for their ticket. She didn't even try. In fact, she texted me she wanted the $175 ticket but to pay $75. I was at work and rushing to finish the transaction. I said she would have to buy my dinner and drinks then plus pay for the ticket. She later texted I would have to remind her and she wouldn't have much money. In fact she won't have ticket money for at least two weeks. I have wanted to dump her for a year but I didn't want drama at the place we volunteer at. That is the only place I see her. In January, I was told by the director of the nonprofit she was suicidal so I didn't tell her to stop directly. I think she is a master mooch and I don't want to have anything to do with her. At this point, I can sell the tickets and make a $300 profit. I know that is a jerk move but I feel mad she played me and madder at myself I let her. Plus, she has been acting very rudely.
Why sell both tickets if you want to go?
Do you allow her to have that much control over you?
Invite a real friend and go enjoy the show together.
I.
Just tell her the truth. You have decided to sell the tickets because you yourself can't afford them either. Or find someone else who will pay full price for the ticket and go with them.
Then don't make plans with her anymore.
That the director told you private information bothers me. Does he/she know this for a fact or is it just rumor?? Either way - it's gossip and that's not cool.
You do not have to be around people you do not like. If you volunteer at the same non-profit ask to be assigned duties away from her.
Call your friends and see if anyone can pay for the extra ticket and go with someone who's company you enjoy. Tell the other person you could not carry the amount of the extra ticket + other expenses for 2 weeks and invited someone else to go.
Just tell her you'll find another friend to go with and be done with it. If not then sell her ticket, or both tickets if you don't want to go by yourself.
I had a friend bail on me last summer (last minute emergency, she wasn't a flake and had already paid for her ticket) but it was a concert I didn't want to miss so I went by myself. I still had a great time!
If you want to go - then go!
Just don't take her - ask another friend.
This other person can't buy her ticket like she said she could so any deal between you and her is null and void.
Going forward don't enter into agreements with her and block her phone number.
If she's looking to involve you in anything outside of your volunteer work just say
"So sorry but that doesn't work for me".
It's easy to say you are busy with other friends when you really are - so make some new friends and get busy with them!
It's odd the director of the nonprofit told you she was suicidal.
If she is she needs more help than you or even the director can give her.
If the director brings this up with you again - give him a number to a suicide hotline and tell him/her to refer her to someone who is qualified to help her - it's not you.
Just tell her you cannot afford both these tickets so if she cannot pay you for her ticket in the next 3 days you will have to sell it to someone else. Then you should first sell the ticket to a friend who can go with you. If no friend will buy it sell it to anyone. In the future don't buy someone's ticket for them unless they can give you the money up front.
You have a couple of thoughts going here so will answer them separately.
One is - you've been asked to cover some of the cost of this woman's ticket and to loan her the money until she has it. I'm guessing she didn't mention this beforehand - so she just sprung this on you after the fact. Not cool.
Now that you've agreed to it (with saying she needs to buy you dinner, drinks, etc.) and Ok'd the loan (I'm assuming), I don't think you can go back on your word and sell the ticket. I think that is wrong (personally).
Once you've said Ok, I think you've committed to an agreement.
In future though - where you say you've wanted to end this association for over a year - I would distance myself or say 'no'. You are in this position because you agreed to be - to buy tickets and go to this concert with her. Don't in future. Then you avoid this situation.
You know this about her - she has shown you who she is. It doesn't matter if she is suicidal in the past. It does not sound like she is a close friend. She is not your responsibility. That has nothing to do with paying $100 extra for a ticket.
I get it is hard to say 'no' to someone who pressures you. I have a friend who asks me for loans from time to time, and it's a horrible position to be in. Once you do it once - it's very awkward and annoying. Saying no, firmly but politely, is a great skill to have. You just say "I'm sorry I'm not able to help".
*If she does not pay you within the time frame she says she will, THEN I would say you sell the ticket or ask another friend. You simply tell the woman, I'm sorry - I needed the money and wanted someone to go with.
I've had a few friends like that - and I got tired of being used or sucked into their drama about how tough their lives are. Usually, those people stay mad for a while and then move on to some other soft-hearted person.
I'd keep it simple. She can't pay the $175 ticket price as agreed, so you should tell her you are sorry she can't pay for it and you'll figure something out. She doesn't need to know the details, and I don't think you should share them if she asks. Just say "Don't worry about it. But no, I can't hold on for weeks to see if you have the money. Maybe another time." (Even though there won't be another time.) You can go ahead and invite someone else in her place. Or, you can sell both tickets and stay home, but that seems silly if you really want to go. If you're just in it for the profit, and you think you can find someone to pay that much ($300) over the face value, I guess you can go into the ticket business.
I'm not sure I understand the part about her having to pay for your dinner and drinks though.
I would look for another volunteer shift at this organization if it's going to be a problem with her. I have to say I'm really shocked that an executive of an organization would share info that someone "is suicidal" without her permission to break confidentiality. So if that is the climate of gossip in this agency, I'd find another place for sure.
she did play you, and you let her.
to be a doormat you have to lie down.
why not sell the one ticket to someone you'd enjoy going with?
being mad, complaining about her rudeness and wanting to get back at her by selling the tickets is just playing her game. knock it off.
go if you want to, sell the tickets if you don't, but do it all from what YOU want, not just reacting to her. you're being almost as silly as she is.
khairete
S.
I think as long as she hasn't pay you anything for the ticket whatsoever, the tickets are yours to do with what you wish. You paid for them, you own them. If she has given you any money for the ticket, then the situation gets a little stickier since sort of has a "right" to an ownership interest of the ticket, even if it isn't paid in full.
Whether or not you sell tickets that are yours is completely up to you. If you want to go, find another friend to buy the ticket or just sell it outright. No matter what you do, be completely upfront and transparent with the other woman even if you aren't going to be friends with her anymore. Take the high road and be honest - tell you sold her ticket and you are sorry things didn't work out.
I think since you've discussed it and she presumably thinks the ticket is hers, I would speak with her about it first. However, I would basically give her a day to agree she wants it and pay you for it or tell her you will be selling it to the other person. If she's flaky then there's a good chance you'll never get the money and since you have a buyer now you should probably take advantage of it.
You agreed that she only pay.$75??? When you tell her OK but she'd.have to buy dinner and drinks. She tells she won't have much money. Now you have an offer to buy the tickets.
I'd tell her that that after thinking about the agreement it won't work for you. No need to explain why. Remember she backed out of your first agreement. It's reasonable.for you to back out of this agreement. Changing plans is OK.
That she's depressed is unrelated to the situation. You are not responsible to protect her. It's important to treat everyone with respect. Be kind in words and and with your tone of voice.She's.an adult and responsible for her own decisions and feelings. You did not need to allow her depression affect your decisions. Your first responsibility is to take care of yourself.
You bought the tickets. They are your tickets. You use them or sell them.
Would you have done differently if you had not known she is depressed? Ask your self this question. If it's yes, you know that you were taking care of her and not taking care of yourself.
I would tell her that unless she can pay you $175 for the ticket before the show, you're going to try to find another friend to go with you - someone that will pay full price. It sounds like you don't want to miss the show, so you shouldn't just give up without trying to find someone else to see it with you.
I would not let her get away with paying you less than half price and waiting two weeks to do it - you'll never see that money again.
