Ok Here we go again!!!
:)
I have 4 siblings. We are all pretty close, most of the time. 2 live in Chicago, 2 live in California. Me and one of my sisters, that lives in Chicago, have had all our kids together. We were pregnant at the same time for both our kids. So we both have kids that are around 1. My sister "E" son is turning one today.
My daughter turned one a month ago.
So My oldest sister "C" lives in california. She has still hasn't come out to Ohio to meet my daughter. In april "C" went to Chicago to see "E"s newest son. Then I found out in Aug, that "C" went to Chicago again. Only this time they kept it a secret from me. "C" swore up and down she was coming out here for my daughter's 1st birthday. She never did, she complained about money.
I found out this morning that "C" is on her way to Chicago for "E"'s son's 1st birthday. I talked to "C" last night and she didn't even mention it. So She has now been to Chicago about 4 times in the last year and has NEVER come out to see my kids.
I'm so hurt. I just can't believe believe the day I am having.
Not that I need any assurance of my feelings, but out of curiosity, How would you feel in this situation??
So, I haven't had a chance to ask her right now. She is on a plane haha
Also, there have been many times where I have invited her to come here. My sister in Chicago, has a 4 person family in a 2 bedroom city apt. I have a 5bedroom house. So the space thing isn't an issue.
Apparently I'm having a shitty day all around so I think I'm more hurt by this today because of everything else going on.
Two things: Stop being passive aggressive. If this bothers you , why are you not asking her outright about it?
And also, quit keeping score. Nothing in life is equal. If you want to see her, ask her to come and plan a visit.
I agree with Queen.
Just ask her. Don't accuse her or express anger.
*Most of life's misunderstanding are due to unexpressed or misunderstood expectations.* Read that again! Have you made your expectation clear and does she understand it?
Have you specifically invited her for a specific date and assured her that you have room for her?
Well, there's got to be a reason. I know when I travel to visit friends or family that is a long way from home I usually only visit the ones that I know are going to be the funnest most comfortable place to be. You cant please all the people all the time. One of my best friends is a little miffed at me that I was in her town a few months ago and didnt get the chance to swing by and see her, but I already have a few other family and friend obligations and I just plain ran out of time.
I dont have any sisters, the one I had died. But I have a set of cousins that consists of 4 sisters, there's favortism in that bunch, two that get along great, one that gets along with the other 3 and one that doesnt give a damn at all, its just the dynamic. Environment has a lot to do with it. Some people only like to visit the others that drink or smoke or that dont drink or smoke, or that dont have pets, or that have a clean house instead of a messy one. There's probably a reason your sis bypasses you, and you probably really do know what it is. Is it fixable? Only you know that answer.
I would be so very hurt. You need to ask her why she is doing this? Maybe something else going on in her life which is making her visit chicago often - might not be just to see the baby. Since you say you are all pretty close, I don't know why she wouldn't want to come meet your kid. Please let her know you are hurt and would love to have her come visit you as well.
It really depends. I live in St Louis so I can see Chicago being just a bit more exciting to visit than St Louis or anywhere in Ohio. I guess what I am saying is she may be more visiting a city than blowing you off. The other thing is there are two in Chicago and only one of you in Ohio.
In the end you understand your dynamic more than we can figure out with your words. All I am saying here is there may be other reasons, like maybe your sister's husband doesn't want her spending money on trips and she really wants to go shopping in Chicago so she uses your sisters as an excuse. I don't know...
Is she going there for business reasons, too? Four times in one year seems like a lot to me unless she has another reason to go there other than just visiting your sister.
I would be hurt. I would tell her that you would love for her to come and visit you in Ohio. I would also tell her that you can't believe your daughter is a year old and still hasn't met Auntie C. :)
Eh, I have 3 sisters, and no, I would not be hurt. We all have our favorites, the sister you're closer to/more alike, whatever. We're ALL close, but we naturally migrate more towards one or the other you know? It's not a competition I don't think.
We're all local now, but there were years when many things restricted us from being with more than one sis at a time, money, distance, baby having, etc.
:)
Is it possible she's visiting "Chicago" and just using your nephew's various events as excuses to crash at your other sister's place? Can you find out what she does on these visits? Shopping, eating out? Partaking of all Chicago has to offer? Or does she sit at your sister's house and play with her nephew all day? It's entirely possible she's actually using your other sister as a free hotel...
Well, I have been there and it is definitely hurtful. There must be some issue going on and she's not telling you for some reason, since she keeps hiding the fact that she's returning to Chicago again.
My sister is the only family member who did not come to see my son after he was born. 3 times we have met at "halfway" locations, but only very briefly. One of those times she would barely look up from the TV or computer to interact with my son. Another time, when my son was 3, I traveled all the way out to her place - though you know what a hassle it is to travel with a young child. She has never come here, though I have asked. My son is turning 5 in a couple weeks and she has only seen him 4 times. We see my brother, my Mom, my Dad and my Stepmom, as well as other relatives, several times a year though they all live far away. It makes me very sad because I feel she is missing out on a crucial time in his life. She barely has a relationship with him and I'm not entirely sure why.
I don't really have much advice - just wanted to tell you I understand why you feel hurt.
Wow, yep, I'd be more than a little hurt!
I would call her and ask her to explain herself. Do not be accusatory, but simply ask her why she is able to make it to Chicago, but not to OH.
I would feel hurt! It not like Chicago is so much closer then Ohio! Have you asked her why she has not come and seen your kids? I hope that this issue gets solved I would hate for it to ruin your relationship with your sister!
I have 4 sisters and I would be hurt too. I would just let them know it has hurt your feelings and ask why.
My brother has a sibling like that, they are always visiting each other but they don't see us or their other sibling ever. We just ignore it and it doesn't bother us. Also, if it was so important to establish a relationship with her, why aren't you visiting her? Are you guys even close? I am way closer to one sibling than I am to another.
Ok, I would be hurt yes. However, I wonder if it really is a money thing. For example we fly back home about three times a year. We fly Allegiant because they have direct flights that are super cheap. Is it possible that she is finding super cheap flights that go to Chicago? I know that when we first starting shopping flights almost all of the airlines had it priced at 500-600 dollars apiece, but Allegiant we can fly ALL of us for that price. We just happened to get lucky that they flew to our home town.
Just a thought. Can you offer to help her split the bill to come visit?
