My 3 yr old son has several friends, most are his age because of a New Moms Group I had joined when he was born. However, my 16 month old daughter doesn't have any friends. She's usually either just tagging along to my oldest's activities, or she's at home or at the park with our nanny while I take my oldest out. Besides wanting to spend 1:1 time with my oldest (jealousy issues), I'm also pregnant with #3 so it would be hard for me to commit to another Moms Group for my daughter even though it seems the easiest way for her to meet kids her age. How do other parents deal with this? Should I be making more of an effort here? I worry she'll have no friends of her own to invite to her 3rd or 4th birthday party.
Have you thought about finding a moms group for kids of all ages? The one I belong to has stuff going on for all ages.
But, I wouldn't worry about friends yet - 16 month is quite young for that.
I don't think you should worry too much about her having friends. I think at that age, they don't really know the concept of "friends"...she should be fine especially since she has an older brother and socializes with him and others when he has his play time. However, if one of the moms in your group also has a younger daughter, maybe you could arrange playdates. I would assume that since your pregnant, that this would be the easiest thing for you, and you wouldn't want to overwhelm yourself with too much. I'm sure that when the baby comes, big sister will be a big help and love to play with him/her!
I wouldn't worry about this yet. She is only 16 months and right now she is learning socialization skills from watching you and her older brother. As long as the boys are not playing to rough why not just let her tag along sometimes. It is perfectly fine for her to play by herself in a corner or to play with brother and his friends. Also you might find another playgroup that has children with siblings. If your looking for another parenting group try meetups.com.
Hi M.,
Maybe you could take her to a music class. Just the two of you. Thats a great way for her to interact with others her age and you wouldn't have to commit much time to it. Good luck to you!
Molly
Maybe try joining another Mom's group for your 16 month old and attend activities for her every other week alternating weeks with your oldest. That way it is fair for both of your kids. I've heard good things about Las Madres http://www.lasmadres.org/. You might also meet kids her age at the park and invite them over for a playdate. I have a 23 month old and I trade babysitting with several Moms from my Mom's group. So Maybe your 3 yr old could sometimes be with one of his friend's while you are spending time with you 16 month old and her new friends. Best of luck!
Hi M.: Ah..I remember those days. What I did for my youngest daughter at that age, was bought her a baby doll that became her "baby". She loved that doll. She knew mommy had a baby in her tummy, and now she had her very own baby to play with. This helped her feel less lonely and kept her engaged in an activity she enjoyed. The other issue of no friends, you should invite a friend over for her. I know at her age it's probably hard, but perhaps you have friends or can make friends with other parents who have children her age. If you are tired in your pregnancy right now, then it's less work to have the friend come over, than to go to a group. Also, ask your pediatrician if you they can put you in touch with another parent who might be feeling the same way you do. Good luck.
Hi M.,
What are the children like that your son is making friends with? There is nothing wrong with blending ages together as long as the children are kind and being brought up with good manners and attitudes.
I am the childrens pastor at our church and I have children from ages 5 to 12 together 9(one 3 yr old too). We didn't start out that way, but as families came in with larger age spans the little ones wanted to be with their older siblings and I gave it a try. It was amazing to see the loving way these little ones were treated by their older brothers, it set a standard for us all. I know that is not the way churches usually do things, but we have a small group of children, and it has been fine for us. It is amazing to me the way the children get along, and what we as a group learn from the 4 year olds. Last summer we did our first children's conference, and were stunned to have almost 80 children show up. It was an amazing time, and we heard back from parents that their children felt it was the best thing they had done all summer.
So, to boil this all down, it's not the age of the friend, but the quality of the friend, so relax and help your son develope the love and respect he should have for his baby sister.
Blessings,
D.
Your daughter is 16 months old. At that age children don't really play together anyway...it's more parallel playing. They usually start learning and liking to play together at age 3. I wouldn't worry about her not having friends for her 3rd and 4th birthday right now. When she is 3 you could try to find a nice preschool for maybe 2 or 3 days a week for socialization. She will make friends to invite to her birthday there. It will be good for her to get out and have some time away with her friends and by then your oldest will be in school. You will be able to spend some one on one time with baby #3.
That is what I did with mine. I now have a 9 year old and a 6 year old--both boys.
Good luck.
M.:
Maybe you could enroll your daughter in a Music Together Class or Gymboree. Then you just go once a week but have the opportunity to meet other moms and babies closer to her age.
I take my son to Music Together and have met lots of new mom friends and paymates for my son who is a year old.
Hope this helps,
N.
Little ones at this age can't make friends by themselves. They need to be put in situations where they can find friends. With the Nanny taking her to the park, she may have the opportunity to make friends, but the parents aren't connecting. Since she has siblings to play with, she is getting the social contact (learning to share, etc.) so I wouldn't worry about that much. You may just keep her birthdays low key and celebrate with the family only until she is in school. The majority of my son's friends are children of my husband's co-workers. It seems they only see each other at birthdays and a couple company picnics. Since they don't see each other regularly, they are excited to play together when they can.
I can't say I ever worried about my children having friends at that age. I mean, at that age they're doing parallel play more than interacting with each other. Rather than doing another playgroup why not find one for kids and their younger sibs of similar ages to yours? Or, send your youngest to daycare a couple of mornings/afternoons a week so she can be around kids her own age.
Honestly M. you really shouldn't be worring about your 16 month old daughter having friends right now. They don't even know what having a friend is at that age. Believe me when she gets to be around 2 or 3 she will start making friends and I'm sure she will have friends at her birthday party. My advice is to not stress over it.
