Your Money, Her Money, My Money, Our Money....

Everything is joint for us pretty much. I do have a separate account at the credit union that I try to put some money in whenever I can. My parents do everything separately which I've always thought was kind of weird, but it works for them.

His money is "our" money and my money is my money!
LOL Just kidding.

It's "our" money.

Our money. Well actually their money, swim team, soccer, fencing, college apps, SAT fees, food for three teens/preteens, band classes, piano lessons, another pair of freaking shoes for a 10 year old, another gallon of milk, and another, *sigh*

He makes the paycheck, I pay the bills. They get the benefits. :o)

Ours. No matter who the bread winner is.

We are ONE family.

We are the only couple I know that do this..but we are still separate with money. We've been married 10 years and together 15 years. We have separate checking accounts and separate savings accounts. He pays some bills, I pay some bills and we "true up" on the mortgage, preschool, utilities (paying 1/2 each) once per month. He makes more so he pays some of the higher bills..for example, he will pay for the cable television package and I pay for internet service. Most couples think we are very odd..but it works for us because we would fight about the way we spend free money if we combined it all into one pot called 'our money." The only time I was a bit upset about this was after our son was born. I would have loved to stay home with him the first two years but he said we could not afford it (he makes a lot). I still had bills to pay so I had to go back to work. If we were always a 'our money" family we could have made the jump to me staying home two years, I think. Going from separate finances to him supporting me is a huge jump.

Our money. Always has been. I brought more $$ to the marriage than he did, but he's made far more than me in our 17 years of marriage. We have joint accounts and actually have no individual accounts at all. We file taxes together. Legally, we are one financial entity. He has never once uttered the words "It's my money...". If he did, I'd hand him a hefty invoice for all the work I do (and, trust me, he probably couldn't afford it). But we don't really think like that and don't really understand why the finances would be kept separate in a solid marriage. But that's just me...

In our household we consider it "our" money. We consult each other before spending money on something big. My husband works and I stay at home. I'll go back to work in a year. I don't need to ask for money or ask my husband before I spend money on things we need. All our money goes into the same account. We save a certain set amount (or more if possible) each month. We pay off our credit cards each month so there is no debt. When I am working it is the same.

It is all our money. And then every week we each get a set amount of hard cash that is just ours to play with however we see fit. But it's a pretty small amount.

It's our money, both paychecks go to the same account. However, we pay ourselves an 'allowance' and that's my money/his money. That way if I want to get my nails done, or he wants to go hunting, there are no hurt feelings over spending 'our' money on something that only benefits the one person.

In our house, it is "our money". With that said, my husband likes to spend more than I do so he usually has a little money that he can call "his" and spend it without me nagging (lol!). Neither one of us asks to spend money, but we do discuss major purchases. When we first got married we had "mine", "his" and "ours", but that was primarily to help us through the transition until bills were in both names and we had all ACH withdrawals out of one account. Then we both had some spending money of our own (I liked to save, he liked to spend). Now that we have kids and I'm not currently working we don't have as much discretionary income, so it is all in our joint accounts.

Ours. I think that is the way it should be as long as you are both financially responsible with spending. We have all of our bills on autopay and then we can use or save what is leftover.
I came from a home where my parents did the his money/her money thing and it was and still is a constant division in their home and lives. It was as if there was no unity because they paid for different things, and had different priorities and still do to this day.
Granted most kids shouldn't be exposed to this kind of info but I was and it was awful.

Our money...and I'm a sahm. Its always been that way for us.

We have separate everything. I did not want to get into "MY money My money" type of situation when sharing an account. I won't be dictated to telling me 'how' to spend 'my' money that I earned & I don't have to worry about how 'my' money is being spent or used, especially w/o my knowledge, & that goes for my hubby too. He has his own acct & he does whatever he wants w/his own money too & we try to share the bills when I can help, I do. I grew up in a volatile home where my mother's husband was very selfish, stingy & a complete control freak & everything was 'his'...no matter who's it actually was, b/c it was 'his' house, everything was 'his' & he controlled every little thing so I vowed never to get into that type of situation so when me & hubby started dating yrs ago, I told him quite plainly that our money, at least, will be separate & if we need anything for the house or want to go somewhere on vacation or something like that, then we'd pool our money together but for stuff either of us just wanted (i.e. when I go shopping w/the girls, etc) I'd have my own money to use & nothing would be said about it being 'his' money or vice-versa & he had no problem w/it. I feel better about our money being done that way, but that's just me.

He has his income and bills and I have mine. We have divided the bills and responsibilities equitably.
That cuts down on my tendancy to micromanage his budget. When it was our money, I would 2nd guess his ridiculous expenditures. Now, as long as everythings covered he doesn't have to justify his purchases to me and its all around more harmonious.

We have a his, mine and ours.

We give ourselves $200 per paycheck (my husband is the sole bread winner - yes, I do work - on a contract as needed basis)..

I buy the groceries for the week...and the more coupons I use, the more money I save and that gives me more spending money...i'm a spender - I could spend like...well, I won't say anything negative - let's just say when we had credit cards - I knew how to use them VERY WELL!!

We are a cash only family. The only debt we have is the mortgage. The only thing that comes in the mail are the traditional bills - electric, gas, water, cable, etc. no more surprises.

We don't try and fight over money either...there are times when we get tense, but really don't FIGHT over it. We are talking about going into debt for a new car - this has been a bit of a struggle as we had savings for it until my husband lost his job in July without severance (after 9 years and none of the 40 people got it)...but my car is becoming a money pit so we are talking about it....how can we pay it off fastest, etc. urgh...

We talk about purchases over $500...and we usually make them together anyway.

When I get paid for staffing a position - that money is fun money. I might use it to pay for a trip or put it in the "cookie jar" (aka savings account) to save for the car.

Well, we are a single income family, so it is his income, but it is our money. My husband only tried the "my" thing one time and it was in reference to the car. I said I was going out because I was mad and needed air. He said, "No you aren't. Who's car do you think your driving?" (God bless his heart). I said, "Well, considering the fact that I do the job of 5 people and if you had to pay me you couldn't afford me, I'm pretty sure it's mine." He shut up, I took a drive, came back and we worked it all out.

The way we work it is we have two accounts. His pay is direct deposited into one account. We then transfer over the money alloted to run the house and family (i.e. food, gas, lunches, miscellaneous kid stuff - because isn't there always kid stuff) and he keeps the rest for bills and his personal expenses. If I need more, I tell him and I get it, as long as it's reasonable and he has it to give. It's how we manage the money, but in the end it's our money and it's available to both of us.

Sharing everything together, our future together. I can tell a lot about a relationship with two separate bank accounts.

Interesting to read all the answers!
For us its "our" money. Always has been. When he was in grad school & student teaching, mine was the only income. Now that we have our twins, i work very part time & his income is the main one. Both paychecks are direct deposted into one joint checking account. At this point finances are tighter than ever before for us, so its great that its all in one place and i can get a handle on where the money all goes. My husband will be the first to admit he's horrible with money so he relies on me to pay bills, save some and let himi know if any is left over for spending.
In our circle of friends we're the minority... almost all of our friends have the "mine/yours" situation where they each have their own accounts and each pay for certain things and spend only their own money.

Separate checking accounts, he pays some bills, I pay others, whatever is left over, we are not accountable to the other for.

My check goes into my acct. His check goes into his acct. He takes care of the "bills" and my check covers necessities, ie groceries, gas, kids stuff, etc. We both have access to eachothers accounts but we rarely ever need to. I live and spend on my budget based off my paycheck and he does the same.

I am a spender and my husband is a saver - so this setup works best for us. I would NEVER want to have full access (daily access) to his acct b/c we would be soooo broke. If it wasn't for him we would have no savings. :)

It is my money and our money. I have encouraged my DH to get his own account, but he doesn't want to.

I insisted on my own account for several reasons. Mainly, because I am a woman and needed to have my own line of credit and income incase anything ever happened to DH. I couldn't have all the credit in his name. I also make more money than my DH. I have personal assets from inheritance that do not apple to joint assets.

Just personal preference, I guess.

It's our money but hubby and I each get 'splurge' money each week. We can spend it week to week or let it build and buy something large when it accumulates. That way we avoid having to have discussions/confrontations when one of us wants to buy new boots, a new computer game, etc.

That being said, any overtime either of us works is considered 'his' or 'my' money because we were the ones who put in the overtime.

Our money. I pay the bills, so I look over everything, and have never had to ask him about any purchases unless it is something on the bill that I want to make sure is not fraudulent.

That being said, both of us are very responsible with money and we ask each other about any purchase over $150, and neither one of us goes crazy with spending. We are not shoppers so that helps.

We have Joint, then we each have our own separate account. 90% of what we each make goes into the join and the rest is our spending money. All bills (both mine and his) come out of the joint account. But if we need that 10% to be used it gets transferred to the joint account.

When we were both working, we each had our own accounts and a joint account that we both contributed to to pay bills and for outings and vacations. But it was nice having our own money to spend how we wanted. Now that I stay at home, I know it sounds businessy and not what one might think for a husband and wife, but he "pays" me to stay home, similar to a way you would pay a daycare provider (just not as much). I get a certain amount of money I can do what I want with. However, if we spend over $150 we discuss it first. This does not include groceries or clothes for the kids. For instance, my husband wants an iPad. Eventhough he has his own money, we still discussed it at great length and still discussing it.

Now a days you need to have your own money or your own personal accounts. You really cannot trust people when it comes to money no matter how much you trust your partner. Both men and woman can use the money as a control thing and when something does not go their way they decide to close the account or take all the money out. So in my family I have my own bank accounts, he has his own bank accounts, and then we have a family account where we both put money in for household expenses and children expenses. We put half of our paychecks into the family account and use the other half into our accounts and use it as we need to. He will use his account to purchase things for the house or when he is out and I need something he uses his personal account. When I go shopping or if he needs something when I am out I use my account. The family account is not touched because its used for bills, etc. We also have an account where we put money in weekly from our checks to place in a college fund for our babies. Its working so far and this way everyone feels like an equal in the relationship and nobody can say "my money" or "I bought this" because everyone did. How is it at your house?

Our money I would not have it no other way.

We've been married for over 11 years now and it has always been "our money". We have one joint checking and one joint savings. We both work full time and always have. Pretty much everything in our life is 50/50......from taking care of household chores to taking care of our two kids. It works very well for us. =0) Oh! And I am the financial planner of the house. I'm much better at paying all the bills and keeping tabs on everything financial and I'm totally good with that. ;0)

I don't really know. When I talk to friends, I may say "WE" don't have the money do buy that right now. Husband may say "I" don't have the money to buy that right now. ?? Hubs works. I am a SAHM. It is really all his, as my 5 years of teaching didn't earn much, and it's long gone anyways (used up I mean).

We have one account. I balance the checkbook. he may ask me "What did you get at Target for $50??" but I keep all my outings under $50 for sure and will sometimes ask him "What did you buy at Academy for $100?" So he has no room to talk/gripe about what I spend money on. ($50 btw for new underwear for me and son, plus two bday presents for friends).

There was an article in Parenting or Parents magazine a few months ago about people with separate accounts and some with two separate accounts and one joint account. I guess whatever works for them. I may like a separate account and getting an 'allowance' but we make it work this way. We can help eachother keep our budget under control if we see what eachtother is buying.

(btw - after bills, just about ALL of our money goes toward building our new home. There's little to spend on 'stuff' anyways. So it may be 'his' but he most often uses it on the house stuff.)

I am a SAHM but I also babysit so I do make a little money. Mostly though our husbands money is our money. I use his paycheck for bills and such and since I get paid in cash I use that for shopping.
We are in the process of moving so money is super tight, so I really don't buy anything extra for me or the kids (except starting on Christmas presents already) but I don't have to ask if I do buy things. Usually I tell him just to keep him in the loop but I don't feel like I have too tell or hide it. :)

Mostly the only thing we argue about is money, and sometimes it happens quite frequently, but I know he's stressed at a job he's not a huge fan of and he just took the LSATs so he is starting the law school apps now.

To answer your question, our money is our money no matter who earned it. It is for the good of our family and we spend together. We both make all major decisions together.

My b/f works full time.
I am a stay at home mom.
We usually call it 'our' money.
Sometimes he will say 'his' money.
Which it technically is.
I think its more of the attitude about it that matters.
If its "MY money" and "you dont get any" then thats not good

we each have our own accounts. and we have a joint account. his gets any money he makes doing side jobs plus $50 a week he keeps from his paycheck. my account gets what I make (less than a quarter what he makes lol) plus 25% of his paycheck to do groceries and gas. our joint account gets the other 75% of his paycheck and we do all of our bills out of that. off the top before the percentages we put $500 a week into the credit union and that is what we pay the house payment with. seems to be the only way we can make the house payment without stress is to put that money totally aside. that way we don't spend it.

oops didn't answer the question. All the money is ours.

Ours. No personal bank accounts. It's ours together.

Our money for sure then we each have some of our own play money monthly. I handle the household spending, he handles the bills and we talk about what to save short and long term. We just have one checking account bc all the money is ours, so that works for us ;)

I am a SAHM so I dont' have an income of my own. MY husbands money is our money. If I need or want something and I know we can afford it I buy it or go out and do it. My husband doesn't care that I spend 85 bucks on my hair he doesn't even ask how much it costs,as long as he gets his weekly allowence and utitilites don't start getting shut off he could care less. Once in a while I hear I work so I should get to do what I want but that's usually just him being broke and wanting something he doesnt' have the money for. When I worked he had a job where he kept getting laid off so we just both paid whatever needed paid and if there was leftover money then we spent it together. Neither of is 100% selfish all the time although my husband can be more than me but I do the checkbook.

It's all "our money" and always has been. Both when I was working and now that I'm laid off. To me, that's what being in a marriage is all about - the teamwork and us-factor, but to each his own I suppose.

Good question.
In our home, it starts out as "our money". Then we have a budget that we go by, and with each paycheck we allot a certain amount of funds to each budget category. For example, groceries. But we also have a line item for ourselves (yes, Dave Ramsey fans) called "blow money". He gets a certain amount and so do I. That is his money and my money separately.
So we technically have: our money, his money and my money.
But really, we just have OUR money, because that is how it all starts out (well, after he earns it and it is deposited into OUR checking account, lol).

Our money for sure! Since Im a stay at home mom, Id be pretty hungry if it werent our money. lol
When I did work, it went into "our" bank account and paid "our" bills. :)

Hi-
The system we use at home is each of us has a separate account, and the we have a third for household expenses that both of us put an equal share into. As long as there is enough money to pay all the bills each month, we are free to spend money on ourselves out of our individual accounts. We take turns paying for entertainment and split grocery bills. If there is something we both want, we split the cost.
Hope this helps-
C. D.

All our money. But whoever is more responsible with money (that does not mean tight-fisted) should keep track of the bills and all credit cards. I stay at home, but I am responsible for all of the finances. We don't have "budgets" per se, but we are both cognizant of what we spend and that it affects not just us, but the entire household. If you live in a community property state, marital income is treated as common income.

All money is our money. The only exception may be birthday money that his mom gave him or my mom gave me to buy something we like. My husband and I have the same beliefs and goals concerning money so it isn't an issue for us. Do what works for you.

We keep everything separate, we do shopping together and usually plan events that cost money together. He does direct pay to most of our bills though. I had a friend who was constantly having issues over money due to him buying something and her buying something at the same time in different stores then having bounced checks everywhere. I choose to not have that issue.

He pays the main bills and then the first of the month purchases like toilet paper, laundry soap, higher cost groceries like meat, some fees for the kids classes and activities, some clothes items if needed, and just whatever is needed right then. The kids get child support each week and I use that money to buy most of the groceries. If they need something I usually try to budget into that money, it's not much so he pays most of these things on the first.

It has worked for us for nearly 20 years.

We had our own accounts and a joint account. When my hubby got stuck at the airport because he had no $ in his account (I transfered it all to mine to pay the bills) and he had no access to mine, we put his name on my account. That is the account we use for everything. We have an account at a local bank that we are both on and we use that for our car loans and cashing checks. He still has his own account at another bank, that I have full access to. We keep that because it gives us benefits on some things. I don't want my name on that account though - I really dislike the bank :). However, I always joke with my hubby that "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine." Because I handle the finances, I know what is going on with every penny.

We had a joint checking and savings account, then I have my own account that he had no access to. He was terrible with money and I paid all the bills. BUT he always handed over his paycheck and I would put whatever was left over in "his" account.
I think whoever is better with the responsiblity of paying the bills should handle the money. I would be okay with it being turned around if he could have done it.
Good Luck and GOD BLESS!
D.

When I worked FT, we had his, hers, ours. Now that I'm working PT, we have his and hers and his is mostly ours since I can't pay all the bills the way I used to. One of the reasons we have his and hers at all is because he has 2 children from a previous marriage he he takes care of their needs primarily from his account. Also "hers" allows me to have money for things like his birthday without asking for it. His/hers was also good when I had debts I brought into the marriage that I paid myself. I have long since paid off my car and student loans. We are on we are on each other's accounts.

It's been our money for 18 years. :)

We both work full-time, but it wouldn't matter if one of us didn't have an income. It would still be our money. We're a team.

I pay the bills which is crazy since I'm so bad at math, but it works for us. My husband always knows our financial status, though.

Everything goes into one pot. I handle the finances, my husband sucks at it. Really, I was so sick of all the late charges because he couldn't keep it straight. :) Anyway, I am a stay at home mom now, but have only been that way for a couple years. I still sometimes find it hard to spend money on myself when I didn't earn it. (Yeah, I know I earn it by raising our child, but when you've worked full time for 18 years...I don't know it seem different)

But, I also have to remind myself. I worked two jobs to pay all of his bills (BEFORE we were married) so he could finish school. I also worked at jobs I hated so he could go to Chiropractic college. I worked full time right after my daughter was born and somehow kept us afloat when his practice failed.

Now he has a good job and can provide for us, which makes him happy. I can raise my own child, that makes me happy. But, when I spend a little money for a trip or something for myself, I still feel like I am spending his money. Weird huh?

"Our money," although it's all in accounts with only my name on them. He still owes back taxes from a failed business and they can't "skim" from accounts without his name on them, so he closed his and I opened one in just my name. This isn't illegal, my name wasn't on the business and he IS paying the debt off, it's just that they used to go into his accounts and take thousands because they could, and we almost lost our house that way.
We've always had joint accounts before this, and I always was in control of the spending. He's terrible with money, and it's just easier that way for us, whether I'm working outside the home or not, it always goes into one shared account.

My husband works, I stay home with the kids. We have our own busiess and I do keep the books, but I don't go to the office and have NO contact with our customers. I make the yukky phone calls - insurance, phone service, etc. We've been married 30 years. He was married before, no kids. It started out as his/hers (because I had a job and so did he) but as soon as I "proved" my loyalty (I guess you'd call it that) it all became ours and has been that ever since. Kids came 10 years into the marraige (yeah, late bloomers) and we chose the options we did. I'm not a shopper - never have been - he's always told people I'm tighter than 2 coats of paint - so I try to be a good steward of the funds we have. It may have been different if I was a Neiman Marcus girl, but I'm more the Kohl's kinda woman.

we have seperate bank accounts. i give him several hundred dollars a month . i joke and refer to it as "rent money". he provides the house and pays all the bills. the money i earn is quite less than his and i pay for daycare, groceries, clothing and all the other little things that arent bills. seldom i pay for his car gas too.

Its all for one and one for all at our house. What is his, is ours. What is mine, is mine! No I'm kidding! It all goes into one account and we pay bills and such. If there is a big ticket item, we talk about it with each other. Generally talking the other out of it. Sometimes he just wants to spend money! Thanks goodness we aren't on the same "cycle" of wanting to spend money. That would be very very bad!!! We are in this together and felt that the money was for everyone.

Our money...we have everything joint and shared.

We've had joint checking & Savings account since we moved in together when we were 18. Our paychecks go into the account and the money is for the family. We each get a monthly allowance of $20 that we can use for anything we want outside of necessities. I usually just save that money up to get something big I've wanted. It's worked out well for us and we've been married for 11 years. We both work full-time and I think he makes more than I do. If we are purchasing anything big we consult eachother and it's a joint decision.

A few years ago, my response would have been our money but after I caught my husband cheating on me, we separated accounts. We are still together but everything is still separated money wise. I think it is much harder this way and I am trying to find a way to make everything more equitable but it is a work in progress.

For all you stay at home parents (note-I did not say mom's), just be very conscious of the fact that if the other partner wants to pick up and go-they will and you will be financially in trouble.

Someone said one family-one income but what about when the family splits apart. You need to be prepared. Ask anyone who has went through a divorce-I'm sure we all know a few of those individuals.

It's our money. My hubby is the only one bringing in income but, of course, as a sahm I contribute in other ways. I pay all the bills and have a better idea of what's in the account than he does.

Everything financially accumulated is in my name. There are some bills in my name and in hisOne house is in his name one in mine. It just so happened that on certain days we'd say a different ssn, depending on who was handling that particular phone call. We don't really think of it as his/or my money. He works and i am a SAHM. We discuss big purchases with each other, not really out of permission from each other but to touch base and be respectful. It actually works really well for us.

Even when we were teenagers and not even living together he would just hand me his money after cashing his check and id keep it in my wallet, lol

My husband will generally say his money and I'll say my money and our money.

I was on his account until I started spending money on things like kids clothing, extracurricular activities, etc... he told me I had to use MY money for those things. Since I've been unemployed for 4 months... he's been paying for almost everything anyways.

It's our money. My husband works out of the home and makes money. I work in the home and make dinner. lol That money that he makes is ours. If I was working and making money (which I have done in the past) then it's ours as well. It's all for the good of the family.

we have separate accts, simply because we did before we got married and both of our paychecks were direct deposited and it seemed easier at the time. We consider it both "our" money, though, and we both have access to each other's accts.

We have Our money, but we also get our own. I am the one working right now, he receives unemployment and it is deposited to his account. But I pay the bills and the money is pulled and put into my own account to pay everything. He also gets his own money and I get some for myself. But it is a small amount. Any large purchases, we decide together. We have a savings account that is "our" money.

We have a few accounts and while our names our on eacthothers accounts and we have access to one another's money, I pretty much use one account based on my pay and he does the same. I am the saver and he holds me to it...He pays the majority of the bills because his income is definitely more than mine. Big expenses are discussed and decided upon before they happen.