Your Opinions Preschool/staying Home with Mom--which Is More Beneficial?

My main reason for pre-school was social interaction. As long as you keep him in some other activities with kids his age, or play groups each week, he will still get that social interaction.

Believe it or not there is a higherarchy of kids in school-meaning that quite often the friends they make at an early age will stay with them for many years and athletics or any outside activities. Sometimes kids that have been removed from this action feel less confident than they should even though there is nothing we have done to create it. There can be jealousy or to much competetion between them later. The best part is that you are keeping him involved even part time-this way he will stay in touch with his classmates.
Also keep up with his "studies" he sounds like he will be a wonderful student because he has learned so much now--work on his vocabulary skills and read/read/ read! He will be a leader in the community before you can remember he has grown! Don't forget to involve him with his soon new sibling-he will be a great helper there too. You go Mom!!!

Mine were home with me until they started school, other than a day or two a week with Grandma while I worked, and they have done wonderfully in school. I will never regret those years I had with them, and looking back they went so fast. You can teach them everything preschool can and they can get used to the social side in other settings. Mine could read and write before Kindergarten and, even though my youngest had a couple of rough weeks because of mommy withdrawels, she adapted quickly and is my best student.

You are doing him more by staying home with him than he would ever get at a preschool! Don't get me wrong, my son starts going (for the first time ever) two half days a week this fall, but it is SO good for him to have you home! You can still do all of the letter/number work (my son knows all of his and can spell his own name) at home, and think of the LIFE experiences he will get with you! So they talk about a zoo at preschool, but you can TAKE him while you are home. They can talk about dinosaurs, but you can TAKE him to the museum...get my point?!?! Make sure that you find a good playgroup or inexpensive activity around town (library, community center, etc.) so he still has the social interaction, and he will be good to go! You will both appreciate the time you get to spend together, and I promise he will never look back one day regretting that you kept him home instead of sending him to school! Good luck and congratulations!!!

Congrats on your pregnancy! Hope you are feeling good at this stage!

No, you are not doing a disservice. The other posts are right, time with you is the best thing he could have. He will be just fine for kindergarten and there are so many websites out there that you can check just to be sure that he is on track. You are going to be a great "teacher" for him and you are going to have so much fun doing it.

Yes, preschool is great, we sent our kids and it worked for us, but it wouldn't have bothered me to keep them home, either. You do what is best for your family and that's all that matters.

Good luck and enjoy this time! You won't regret it!

I agree with the other posters you are not doing a disservice to your son by keeping him home. I am a SAHM my daughter is 3 and she has not ever gone to preschool. She knows her alphabet, letters, shapes, colors and so much more as well. If you are worried about him not learning things you can teach him the things that you want him to know. I have a baby that just turned 4 months old and I know that it is hard having 2 kids wanting your attention but you can set aside time to play learning games with your son and give him the attention that he wants. He will probably even enjoy being home with you all of the time. For socialization most public libraries have story time at least once a week which is a great way for kids to be together. Have fun and enjoy him being home with you because this is one of the only times of his life that he will not be in school and you can just enjoy his smiling face and wonderful personality. They are only this size for such a short time. Good luck.

I believe I'm quite qualified to answer this question from all perspectives. Not only am I a mother that has 4 children, 3 of them grown and one that's almost 10, but I'm a daycare provider and a home schooling parent.

I absolutely believe that children can learn their social skills in a variety of ways. One thing about this life is that when you go to college and get a job you will not be learning and working with people of your own age only. Preschool is NOT REAL LIFE. In the real world we have to deal with old and young and nice and not nice and educated as well as uneducated people from every walk of life. The one room school house and home schooling was around LONG BEFORE public schools as we know it were created. Abraham Lincoln was self taught as well as many wonderful people that did quite a lot for the world we live in.

Your child will benefit in every way from being with you and his new baby brother/sister and you can take him to play groups and indoor play places to find other children to hang with.

I make my living careing for those that need to be in daycare. But I highly admire those that put their children on such a pedestal that they make staying home work for them.

Preschool is a great service that we have available to us, but it's most definately not a necessity. If you have the oportunity to stay home for a year with your son, enjoy it! Neither of you will look back in 20yrs and wish that you spent less time together. These years pass quickly, enjoy the opportunity to spend extra time with your kids while you can.
As far as teaching him, you taught him to talk and to walk. You definately have the skills to teach him what he needs to know. There's tons of resources out there to help you with the formal education part (there's a great book called teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons). My son stayed home for preK & he's a very social, bright 2nd grader. He's actually quite academically advanced. My daughter will be attending PreK in the fall so I can work more. I have little doubt that there will be no difference in their social or academic abilities. Congrats & good luck!

In my opinion, the socialization of preschool is more important than the academics. It's nice to have young kids learning classroom rules, obeying teachers, how to share with other kids, how to make friends and resolve conflicts, etc, etc.

I think that you can certainly teach him at home but I would definitely get him in some activities, play groups, sports, and whatever else you can to keep him busy.

Maybe if you work part time in the baby room of that preschool with your new baby in tow, then they will give you free or reduced tuition for your older son.

It sounds like it's a money issue for you, so leaving him in preschool is not an option. I don't think "social interaction" is a reason to put a child in preschool, I'm a homeschooling mom and all of the 60+ kids in our homeschool group are plenty social!

I think you are the best teacher for your child and he will love having the extra time at home with you. I would say to keep in touch with his friends so he can have playdates and you can get a rest! It's not easy to have a preschooler and a baby at home.

You will not be doing him a disservice. He will continue to grow academically and socially, even at home with you.

Enjoy your time!

You will not do your son a disservice by having him stay home with his mother!! I am a former elementary teacher and I have seen how parents go overboard with academics. I believe that preschool is great for socialization and for building a foundation for structure and rules not academics. I have seen kids excel and fail whether they went to preschool or not. I am a SAHM, but I am sending my daughter, who is 2, to preschool in the fall for only one day a week. I am only doing it for the socialization aspect. I am sure that your son will do very well in kindergarden. You have enough on your plate right now to worry about something that is not a concern. You'll have fun teaching your son, because you know him best and he'll have fun too. Enjoy this year with him before he starts school and congratulations on your new baby!

I too have to agree, time wi th you is the best gift you can give your son.:)

Enjoy your time with him at home!!! Good for you.... I agree w/ the posters that said that the socialization is the biggest benefit of preschool. Can you find a part-time preschool at a local church etc. Much cheaper and only 1/2 days 2 or 3 days a week. Might be the best balance for everyone...

You will never know how much better off your children will be because you cared to give them the very best, Your time and talents. No one will ever love and care about your children as much as you and your husband.

There are lots of questions on this site about saving money. Read and follow the best instructions and suggestions and you will have enough money to go around.

Good luck to you and yours. Congratulations on staying home with your kids. Your time with them will pay rich rewards.

Just a thought, but if you do decide to pull him out of preschool, don't do it until your "maternity leave" would be over. It will let his life stay consistent during the transition and give you that one on one time with the baby, that he got, and give you a chance to learn to juggle the two. I am in the same boat as you are, not the SAHM, but that my son has only been home with me during maternity leave. I would say that if you want to have him home, you may want to see if you can get his daily schedule, and get some stuff ready so that you can continue with what he was learning. I think that the socialization is so important too, so maybe he could go a day or two? Or do a playgroup? He is used to a fairly structured day, so it will definitely be a transition. Would he be able to make the decision for himself? If he wants to go to school or stay home? After a couple weeks at home, he may be ready to go back, and missing his friends.

Okay, that started to ramble. What I am trying to say is that if this is something you need to do, then just be prepared for it. It won't screw him up if that is what you need to do. If you aren't sure and he has the option either way, then maybe he could make the decision.

No matter what you decide, it will be really important to keep him in a schedule. I think being a stay at home mom is the hardest job ever, and with a new baby it can be a challenge to keep the balance for you and your husband, the baby and your son. So much depends on the personality of your kids and how supportive you husband is as well.

I think if it's possible at all to keep him in preschool you should do that. Preschool is a great stepping stone to kindergarten, not only for the academic stimulation, but more importantly for the social opportunities of being with kid's his own age. It's also beneficial for him to be able to trust other adults and be able to deal with different transitions and schedules and personalities that are a part of an environment outside of home. HOWEVER, if you are conscious of those needs but still can't afford to keep him in preschool, you could probably create enough social opportunities by getting involved in a consistent play group and/or putting him in recreational classes.

Best of luck!

I think that you can teach him just as much at home. I am a stay at home mom to a 2 year old. He can spell his name, and count to 20. He knows some colors and shapes too. I would only keep him in preschool if you are worried about him not socializing enough, because at this age I think it's important, but you can easily teach him everything he would learn in preschool yourself.

He has his whole life to go to school. Preschool is overrated. He could learn everything you've already described just by being home and you taking advantage of learning moments. Structured academic instruction is unnecessary at such a young age and does not show any added improvements at later ages--research it if you need to read the proof yourself. Keep him home as long as you can!

Hi J.,
It sounds to me like your son is pretty bright for his age. If you think that your going to have time to continue to devote to him learning from home then I see no reason why you would need to put him back into preschool. My oldest daughter just got done two years of preschool and is very very bright and ambitious. For kindergarten she already knows everything that the other children are going to learn and she can read short stories already. My point is that some of the children going to kindergarten haven't learned these things yet and the schools goal is to try and get all the kindergarten children ready for the first grade. By first grade all the children will be on the same level preschool taught or not. Looking at it from this perspective, I'm wondering if I could save money and not send my other two to two years of preschool if they are just going to learn all the same stuff in kindergarten for free! You might have just saved me some money too!!!

You would be amazed at how much your son will be able to learn being home with you. Learning happens every moment of every day with little ones - they don't require a structured environment. Let him help you bake - you can teach him measurements. If you have a garden, let him help you with that and tell him what different nutrients we get from the different foods and how those help us grow. Take him to the zoo and show him all the animals. Go to the library and check out books on things you can't experience like other countries or outer space. The baby will give him lots of opportunities to learn about caregiving and sharing. If you feel like you need a more structured experience, there are TONS of online curricula available. So excited for you! Wish I had the option to be at home, too!

Congrats on baby #2! I always worked full time, made an excellent salary until I had my first baby! I never thought I would adjust to being a SAHM, but I have been for 3 years now. My first is now 3, my second is 21 mos and I am 7 mos pg with baby #3! I always had my own paycheck and never had to be concerned with spending. Of course that all changed when we decided I would stay home. There is a period of adjustment but you will adjust. Your son will benefit from staying home with you in so many ways! I am not against preschool at all, but I won't be sending my first until she is 4 because she already misses the cutoff date for kindergarten so i really don't feel she will benefit anymore by going for 2 years instead of one. You will have enough time to pay attention to both your newborn and your oldest because just as we all did, you will find the time. Your son may not "like" the idea of a new baby at home,having to share you but after a little while he will love being a big brother. My first cried everytime the baby cried, but that only lasted a week. At the age he is now they don't really play with each other anyway, they parallel play. I belong to a Mom's group but honestly don't even get to functions that much anymore since being pg. Too tired! I take my kids to art class once a week during the school year and during the summer we play at Nanny's house with our 12 year old cousins. We also have a 5 yr old cousin that we see about once a month. Don't worry so much about socialization! They will get it! My daughter is smart as a whip, can count to 20, knows a million songs and stories by heart, can sing the alphabet, knows all her colors,shapes,etc. Not one day of preschool! Don't put so much pressure on yourself or feel guilty. He will be thrilled to be home with his Mommy and the time goes so fast! And believe me there are days where you will want to pull out your hair, but they will pass too!! Good luck!

I don't think you would be doing your son a disservice by removing him from preschool at all, but it may be nice for all of you if he continued to attend for even a few days a week. Is there an option for part time, maybe 2 days/ week or mornings only or something? It would be cheaper than full-time, which is what it sounds like you are doing, and I think would give your son the best of both worlds. He gets time at home with mom and new baby, and time to go to school, socialize, etc. It would also give you some alone time with your newborn, which would be good for you, I think.
Best of luck with your decision and your pregnancy!

My son was home full time with our nanny and then Dad until he was 4. We put him in preschool when he was four through the local community center because it was pretty affordable- we gave up some things like cable tv, eating out, etc so that we could afford it. I think both are beneficial. The preschool he attended helped us know what we need to be working on for him for school next year. Right now, just enjoy time with your son and new baby- and maybe look into preschool next year. Look into local Mom's groups, libraries for story time, etc. There is a ton of free stuff out there that he can enjoy and give you a little break!

I do think that pre-school is beneficial for kids over the age of 3, but that does not mean that you are doing him a disservice if you are withdrawing him. If you feel capable of homeschooling him for pre-school and make sure he gets interaction with other children (playgroups, maybe some co-op pre-school, sports or other activities) he will probably do well.
I work full time and even though my daughter absolutely LOVES her daycare, I know she would be just as happy (or happier) staying at home with me and going to playgroups.
Good luck!

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That's a tough one! GIven all of the circumstances in play here, I believe ultimately you have to do what you have to do...especially when it comes to finances. All that said, however, I believe it would be a dis-service to your son because he has had a "taste of social interaction" now. If he had never gone to his first preschool I would have different advice. I hope this helps.

Hi there! neither of my children went to preschool (we always used private home daycare since we both work fulltime). They're both quite intelligent and doing very well in school (going into 6th and 2nd grades and are consistently on honor roll and receive citizenship awards). I think that what you want to be sure to do is to keep involved with group activities so that your kids will develop/keep strong social skills. I was also able to find inexpensive learning/classroom activities through the City of Phoenix that are held at community centers. There will be positives and negatives regardless of what you do, just be confident that whatever decision you make is the right one for your family! It will be as good as you make it :o)

Why not send him to a church-based preschool? They are usually 2 or 3 days a week for 3 year olds. Most only cost $125-175 per month in our area and last 2 1/2 hours. They have morning and afternoon sessions and run from September to May.

This would give him the best of both worlds. He would get the socialization and instruction at the school for a few hours a week. It would also give you a little break and time to spend alone with the new baby.

This is such a contentious issue, and obviously you're getting strong feelings on both sides.

First off, good luck and congratulations on baby #2.

Having 2 young kids, myself, I'd recommend sticking with the preschool thing, even if it's a stretch. Here are my reasons:
1. The bonding time with your new baby will be reduced by the time you need to dedicate to your son as well
2. All the momentum you have with respecting other authority figures, class mates, dispute resolution, etc. will likely regress (even if you're active in social activities with other people and kids his age)
3. Having 2 kids, especially an infant, is really hard - especially if the baby is colicky. Are you sure you will have the time/energy to devote to him?

I've done both (only briefly for SAHM). I've always been a working mom but had 12 weeks last summer, when laid off from one job, that we had to make the same decision (our kids were 1 and 3). Even without my income, we still kept the kids in day care so I could dedicate myself to finding a new job, be available for interviews, and not regress their progress socially/academically.
Being a SAHM when you're accustomed to being a full-time working Mom is a HUGE adjustment. I did it for 9 weeks when I had baby #2 and chose to move our son from in-home (at our home) daycare to a facility. I wasn't accustomed to the schedules, and it took almost all 9 weeks for me to get adjusted.

My only question to those so adamantly against preschool is if you've ever known the flip side of the argument to really be able to fairly comment?

I guess the only thing I would worry about is the social aspect of it all. Yes, your son does sound smart :) but is he going to miss playing with his friends, his teacher, having stuff to do without you and a new baby?
It is not going to be detrimental to him not to be going to preschool, no worries there, it may be fun for him to stay home with you. But, I would try and join a mother's group and make sure to take him to parks, indoor and outdoor, playareas, and other places where you know kids hang out so that he can still play with children.
Good luck! From one prego mama to another!
L.

I am also a SAHM and decided to send my son to a part-time preschool (2 mornings a week when he was 3, 3 mornings a week when he was 4). Your son sounds very bright and you're obviously already working with him at home. There are a lot of great preschool workbooks at Barnes & Noble (and other bookstores) that you can buy to use with him. I think the biggest benefit to preschool is the social/emotional aspect. When our son started preK-3 he already knew letters, numbers, colors, shapes, etc. What he mostly learned in pre-K was sharing, taking turns, lining up, etc. He also learned to listen to other adults and the separation was good. These were things I could not teach him at home. But, having said that, you may not need to enroll him in a formal preschool. Maybe you could find a playgroup or some other free activity (maybe at the library) to help with the sharing, taking turns, etc. Enjoy your time home with your kids!!!

I don't see how you could think, that by your son staying home with you, is doing him a disservice. You are doing him a world of good. Your boy needs you, not his pre school teacher. We have never sent our son to preschool. He is almost four, and has known all of his colors (primary and secondary & what 2 colors mixed make), shapes, alphabet, numbers, he speaks very clearly and has for a couple of years. He carries on conversations with adults like you would not believe. I believe you can do so much more for him than a teacher with a class full of kids can. So, I think you will be doing him a favor by teaching him at home the year before he starts school. Not to mention you two will have a great bond, that you will not otherwise experience. good luck to you!

If you feel you can teach him more at home then go for it. You could also send him to a part time preschool, many churches have part time (two days a week, some half day, some full day) that could benefit your son. You can still teach him at home but he'd get the social aspect and other fun stuff that he may not get at home. You'd still get to spend time with him and you could help out at school for parties and such too. I hope this helps. I was a SAHM and sent both of my girls to preschool and not only did they excel, but they enjoyed the time away from me. They are teens and tweens now and do like to spend time with me. I hate that summer is almost over. Good luck and God Bless.

I don't giving your son a year of your time is doing him a disservice at all. I think we overstructure our kids now anyway. Many studies have shown that kids need time to play. That's how they learn. None of my children attended pre-school. All of my children have done well in school - mostly straight A students. One teacher actually told me my child behaved better than those students who had attended pre-school. Stop feeling guilty and enjoy your time with him! The years go by so quickly!

Being home with Mom and new brother or sister will be a new and learning experience for him, too. In my opinion, staying home with your children--if it's financially possible and you want to--is always the best thing to do. Depending on the kind of kid he is, there may be some issues with boredom, but you can deal with that. I stayed home with my kids and one ALWAYS needed to be entertained, while the other could entertain himself all day. Don't doubt your decision. It's the right one for this time in your lives.

I am contemplating homeschooling and am asking myself some similar questions...I know people have very strong views of preschool vs. homeschool, so I can only speak for myself; however, I feel like I want to have a close/intimate relationship with my children as well as be the strongest influence in my child's life (like all parents do) and I think that that not only takes quality time, but quantity time as well. I may not be the most adept teacher, but I will always be there to tell him how much I love the way his brain works and how special and wonderful he is.

Congratulations on both baby #2 and your decision to be a SAHM I haven't read the replies, so something similar may have been written. My kids were similar in age (now 8 &11) and I am a SAHM. I too contemplated sending my daughter to preschool - since I was at home and she too already knew most of what they were learning in preschool. Then, our PAT (parents as teachers) lady told us it wasn't as important that they learned that stuff at school, but they learn how to be around others and socialize, follow directions and structure set up by the teachers. It was more important from a social standpoint.

Now, I feel that staying at home will far benefit your son, if it's not in the budget to send him to preschool. And, I know it could be a challenge with a newborn, but get into some playgroups so that he can have that different socialization. Or, if it's in the budget - consider a mom's day out at the preschool. If he really liked the preschool, it will be like a treat for him, and you will get one day a week to spend alone with that newborn too!

Good luck on your decisions - you have to do what works for you and your family!

my oldest son went to preschool the year before Kindergarten. He was well advanced for his age so it was more for social skills than actually learning anything. He went 3 days a week for 3 hours a day.

2nd child (daughter) didn't go to preschool at all. It wasn't offered in the small town we lived in at the time. She has also done well and makes good grades in school.

3rd child (son) went to preschool the year before Kindergarten pre-k program offered by the public schools in our area. It is free for kids the year before kindergarten. He went 3 days a week for 3 hours a day and it is mainly for social skills as well. They learn as they play but don't actually sit down and teach them letters, how to write etc. They encourage the kids through play and have learning centers all over the room for the kids to choose what activities they want to do. Children learn a lot on their own through play and interaction with other people.

I don't know if preschool helped the kids learn any faster than they would have on their own or not. The boys were always eager to learn even from a year old. They were both well advanced before they even went to preschool. Our daughter wasn't as eager to learn and really didn't care about doing learning activities. She may not have known all the skills to start kindergarten but she quickly learned and within 2 weeks of school she was even with the smartest kids in class so there really wasn't a big difference in the kids that attended preschool in her class and the ones that didn't. We moved the month before school started so she did attend Kindergarten with a lot of kids that had attended preschool and the teacher wasn't worried about her being behind because she didn't attend preschool. Her teacher told us not to be surprised that she would catch up with the other kids in a week or 2 and she was right.

All 3 of our kids do well in school. Oldest is 17 and graduated high school and will be going to med school this fall. School has always been easy for him. He has always loved to read, started reading full books at age 4 and read 3rd grade level when he started kindergarten. loved doing 100 piece puzzles at age 3 and did them very quickly. He knew his letters and as soon as he started talking he was telling us the letters and numbers to 20 by sight. He learned to write half of them by age 2 1/2. We just played with him and taught him things as he played. Like this is the letter A when reading books to him, told him the colors of his toys as he played with them, counted often, and his favorite thing to do when he was a year old was to bring us the magna-doodle and we would write a letter on it and tell him what it was then he would erase it. We usually went through the alphabet at least once a day with playing that game. He also brought books for us to read from age 9 months. he didn't learn all this from preschool, I was a SAHM and just enjoyed playing with him and teaching him along the way.

2nd child wasn't that eager to learn. she did know her letters and how to write her name as well as colors, shapes, and other stuff but she didn't bring things to us like our oldest. We just taught her what we could on her level of attention span and how much she wanted to do. She had more of an imagination and loved playing with her toys and using her imagination where our first hardly ever touched his toys.

youngest learned a lot from the older 2 and he also was interested in learning and was a lot like our oldest son. He also does well in school and doesn't have to study to make good grades. He went to pre-k and didn't really learn more than he knew prior to starting preschool but he enjoyed playing with the other kids. Preschool was more a social outlet for him and school is pretty much the same way.

so many people talk about girls being more advanced than boys, I think it isn't really a gender thing as it is the personality of each child. Some kids love to learn, others not so much but they do learn something daily and is so important to start teaching them before the age of 3 because they will pick up and learn so much before they even learn to talk. They watch and take in everything they see from the time they are born.

Do what you think works best for your family. Being stressed out with money issues to put your kids through preschool isn't always the best either. They will pick up on your emotions.

If you want to keep him involved with other kids for the social aspect, get involved with play groups with other moms on here or find a mothers day out program at a church in your area. MDO programs are usually free and require you to volunteer 1 turn so depending how many are involved you may have a turn every month or every 3-6 months.

We have always been very involved in our church so I never worried that my kids needed more social time with kids their age. They were usually in the nursery or classes with other kids their age at least 3-5 times a week as we attend 3 services a week and there was always childcare available for extra activities which we attend as well.

Your kids will be fine with whatever you choose. They will also enjoy having more mom time while you are able to be home with them.

I would keep him in preschool unless it's financially not feasible to do.

So he'd be home with you for a year and then go to kindergarten?

Obviously you know your child best, but I'd be worried that it would make the transition to kindergarten that much harder. Especially if it's an all day kindergarten.

Especially as you're going to have a new baby to take care of, I would try to keep him in something for at least a few hours a week. Not necessarily for the learning part of it, but for the social aspect and even the separation anxiety part.

Good luck!

I would suggest that you at least have your son attend a part time program even if just for a few hours a day because he can only benefit from the social interaction.

There are some options that would allow you to stay at home and earn some income if cost is an issue. Go to www.WorkAtHomeUnited.com/madden if you want more info.

You will be doing him a much greater service! Preschool is unnecessary! Love from mom, lots of attention? Best building blocks of self-esteem around.

Besides, one-on-one dialogical learning is the best educational device. A school cannot give your son that.