10-Year-old & Depression

Updated on July 20, 2012
S.R. asks from Fort Worth, TX
12 answers

Anyone have experience with a 10-year-old daughter fighting anxiety/depression??

I began suffering from the same, myself, in early 2010, just out-of-the-blue. After Lexapro (caused HORRIBLE headaches), Paxil (gained 30 lbs in 7 mos), and finally Zoloft, I'm 100% better (and off meds, now). I'm very nervous about putting my daughter on any of these meds at her age.

I'm hoping this is just signaling puberty for her and eventually works itself out, but in the meantime, she needs her mood stabilized. She cries on-and-off all day, worse when I'm not with her, and I cannot be at her side 24-7 to hug her through her episodes of weepiness (I work full-time). Her appetite is almost non-existent, but she is sleeping well.

I am going to set her an appointment with someone, but just wanted to see if any of you moms have any advice.

MTIA!

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So What Happened?

We saw the pediatrician today. She seems to think she is nowhere near her period (I may disagree, but none of us really KNOW, so...). She did recommend she sees a counselor and gave us a list of providers in the area. We'll get her an appointment and see what they think. In the meantime, they have ordered some blood work and a urine test. She has always had anxiety about going to the doctor and today was no exception. At least it was non-traumatic, and maybe helped her realize they are here to HELP, not HURT us. Thanks, moms, for your comments/suggestions. I know we'll get through this!! :o)

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son was put on Zoloft at 12 and was on for maybe 3 months and was able to get over his depression. Once the counselor who recommended us to the psychiatrist explained all the feelings and emotions my son was having, I felt like a bad mom for not recognizing his need for help. He has since been off the meds for 3 months and doing amazing. He has a bad day maybe once or twice but his able to cope and recover.

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This is not the end-all, but PLEASE begin by looking at her (and your) diet. If it's mostly processed foods w/artificial colors and/or flavors, she is not getting the nutrients she needs that help to stave off things like depression. B vitamins, iron, and folic acid are key players as are omega-3 fatty acids.

Aerobic exercise has been proven to be just as effective at helping with depression as well.

I think imminent puberty and the accompanying hormonal changes are a factor as well. I'm glad to hear she's getting enough rest. Make sure all of your dairy is marked rBST / rBGH free, so she isn't effected by the bovine growth hormones. Check your milk labels.

I definitely experience lots of highs and lows due to hormones (even to the point of PMDD at one time) and all of the above considerations helped me tremendously. Dep drugs are so dangerous - esp for adolescents - and can open you up to a host of other health issues. I want to encourage you to take these natural steps first - esp with your daughter.

Again, I know it isn't the end-all, but the vast majority of Americans greatly underestimate the effects of the foods (or non-foods) they eat regularly. Doctors know VERY LITTLE about preventive nutrition and the healing power of foods. You'll have to do some of your own research here.

These are some of my favorite resources:

http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/

http://feingold.org/ (specifically mentions ADHD, but good advice all-around)

http://www.naturalnews.com/

http://www.foodrenegade.com/

Good luck to you both!

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter got put on anti-depressants at 10. At the time, the doctor didn't think she would ever be off of them. We actually took her off of them VERY slowly (as a test) over the summer before her senior year. She has done extremely well! I do not regret anything we did in our efforts to try to take care of her clinical depression. It was worrisome, but took out her anxiety and crying jags shortly after starting them. Good luck!

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Putting a 10 year old on meds is different than putting an adult on meds. Tread very carefully. I would be talking to a children's hospital about this.

So very sorry, S..

Dawn

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, absolutely get her in to see a therapist! Even if it's just "normal" pre puberty moodiness it will help her to talk to someone.
My daughter (now 13) had a major bout of anxiety last year which also caused her to stop eating. She was "sick" all the time, mostly head and stomach aches, she withdrew from all her normal activities, she never wanted to leave the house, she lost weight and she seemed scared ALL the time, especially when I wasn't around. It was AWFUL, but she saw an amazing psychologist and she is SO much better now, she never had to take any medication. She is not "cured" as anxiety is part of her chemistry and something she will probably have to deal with for the rest of her life, but at least for now, she is able to manage it.
I was surprised at how hard it was for me to find someone to see her as many of the therapists I contacted who work with children/teens weren't taking any new patients. They are THAT busy! Anxiety related disorders are (sadly) very common in kids and teens. So start calling around now and good luck :)

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P.R.

answers from Dallas on

I really encourage you to get an accurate diagnosis. I recommend Dr. Pete Stavinoha, you file for insurance. He is the best in the area and from that he will help you develop a plan. Childhood depression is biochemical if there has not been any significant trauma. Cognitive therapy and medication if needed are very proven and effective methods to treat it, not the only ones but efficient nevertheless. It is not a quick fix to take medication, it is part of a process to help her grow and develop her full potential. Wish you the best, she has a mom that cares deeply for her, that is half the battle.

Updated

I really encourage you to get an accurate diagnosis. I recommend Dr. Pete Stavinoha, you file for insurance. He is the best in the area and from that he will help you develop a plan. Childhood depression is biochemical if there has not been any significant trauma. Cognitive therapy and medication if needed are very proven and effective methods to treat it, not the only ones but efficient nevertheless. It is not a quick fix to take medication, it is part of a process to help her grow and develop her full potential. Wish you the best, she has a mom that cares deeply for her, that is half the battle.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.!

I want to second Amy's recommendations and website links to you. She says a lot of thoughtful things worth considering. I would also highly encourage you to read "Gut and Psychology Syndrome" by Natasha Campbell McBride as well as use this website as a starting point for research regarding nutrient deficiency and depression: http://www.westonaprice.org/

Admittedly, dealing with depression from a nutritional standpoint requires a major lifestyle shift that many people don't want to approach. Conventional medicine can be a "quicker" fix for many, but it also can have long term health consequences and result in much more heartache down the road.

Even though I am encouraging you to explore and educate yourself about the strong link between nutritional deficiency and depression, I also want to encourage you to ensure any underlying, legitimate spiritual and emotional issues get addressed simultaneously.

You are a great mom to take the time to ask these questions and contemplate the best way to love and care for your daughter through these struggles.

I hope for her and you both that she experiences full freedom from this in her life!

God's Grace to you,

Lisa :)

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D.S.

answers from Terre Haute on

My son is 3 yrs old and had strange eating habits, to crying for no apparent reason and he sleeps well. Well this week he was diagnosed with Autism. So I am not saying your child has that but do some research and keep a diary for when you do go to the doctor. Best of Luck!

D.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

My own depression and anxiety started with puberty and just got worse. I had parents who did not believe in therapists or mood disorders, so I went untreated. I made some stupid choices that I regret and would not wish on anyone. I am now on Wellbutrin and am amazed at how the other half lives. Unfortunately I will most likely always need the meds. i have a daughter who is 7 and we watch her and her moods like hawks. We both want to be there for her if she has any issues. She was diagnosed with ADHD and borderline Bi polar. Right now we have decided to just treat the adhd and see how her mood does before we start those drugs. But she is an extremely emotional child by nature so everyday has its ups and down. But we are glad we asked a Dr and have a heads up on what might happen and how to help.
From my experience I always wanted my mom too. Unfortunately she had to work too. So I learned hobbies like cross stitch that would keep my hands busy and my mind occupied. Free time is the worst for a depressive IMO. You just think about what is wrong and you just get worse. I also would get a blanket and wrap myself in it to feel like i was being hugged and read. But the more you are there for her when you can will make a huge difference. That is all I ever wanted when it was really bad.
Hope this helps

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I just had a conversation with my doctor the other day about moodiness (I have a diagnosed thyroid problem, and irritability is one of the things that can happen with low thyroid). Anyway, she was saying that while thyroid can be to blame for sudden mood swings, vitamin B12 can be a big contributor too! She gave me a list of foods that contain B12, and seriously, I don't eat any of them. I guess that's why my vitamin B12 levels are so low. Here's the list she gave me - if your daughter doesn't eat these foods often, then maybe you could have her B12 levels tested. Also, vitamin D is worth testing, as it affects many systems in the body as well. (These are both easily tested in a non-fasting blood test.)

Dietary sources of vitamin B12 include:
beef liver, braised (1 slice) - 48 mcg
clams, cooked (3 ounces) - 34.2 mcg
sockeye salmon, cooked (3 ounces) - 4.9 mcg
farmed rainbow trout, cooked (3 ounces) - 4.2 mcg
top sirloin beef, broiled (3 ounces) - 2.4 mcg
plain yogurt (1 cup) - 1.4 mcg
haddock, cooked (3 ounces) - 1.2 mcg
white tuna (3 ounces) - 1 mcg
milk (1 cup) - 0.9 mcg
Swiss cheese (1 ounce) - 0.9 mcg
egg, large (1 whole) - 0.6 mcg
chicken, roasted (1/2 breast) - 0.3 mcg
fortified breakfast cereals
fortified with 100% of daily value for B12 (1 serving) - 6 mcg
fortified with 25% of daily value for B12 (1 serving) - 1.5 mcg
Reference - NIH Office of Dietary Supplements Fact Sheet: Vitamin B12

In terms of vitamin D, of course the best source is the sun (but you need good calcium levels in order to absorb it). She said 15-20 minutes of sun a day (without sunscreen) is enough to keep your D levels at a healthy level, as long as you're not at a deficit to begin with.

Anyway, I'd definitely start with your daughter's pediatrician first to make sure there isn't a medical reason for this. Good luck!!

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

This is hard to address in a quick online response so don't take this too harshly - she is most likely mimicking you and you probably have no idea how you are feeding the notion and enabling the behavior. She is 10. She probably is really fine and you need to make sure she sees that and snaps out of this phase. I had a friend go through the same thing with her only daughter around the same age and she realized it was her own issues that she (and her daughter) were projecting on her daughter in reality. It most likely needs to begin with you and how you treat her when she gets emotional. We all get our feelings hurt and get down at times but we don't have to wallow in the negativity, especially when we are 10. We should go outside and play rather than "talk through the feelings" as if we are an adult. Perhaps you need to look at what type of example you are setting. Like the mothers that hold their infant too much or over react when their small child gets a scrape breeds dramatic, whiney children - kids get trained to enlist the desired response and train you to get the attention.
On the other had there is a slight possibility she is of the small, small percentage of people with a true chemical imbalance, but be aware that a doctors objective is to get people on medication so they will love the life long dependent getting started at the early age of 10. I'm sure if you paint the right picture to any doctor they would say your daughter needs meds. Do you really want to start her on this path so young?

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

There is a big difference between Anxiety and Depression.

The first keeps you alert, bouncing like a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.

The second keeps you sleeping..... all day..... under a rocker, wishing you had a cat.

Did a friend move away?
Is there a boy she likes that does not like her?
Does someone put her down or pick on her?
Do we exercise?
Have we been to NRH20 this summer?
Do we have a hobby (painting, making jewelry)

Or are we TERRIFIED to go to NRH2O?
Afraid to make friends?
Too nervous to exercise because the high heart rate makes her panic?

Hypnosis relaxation cd's are great. Jillions are available to download in itunes too. There are many for anxiety AND depression.

Good luck, I hope she feels better soon!

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