10 Yr. Old Not Able to Get to Sleep

I would push back her bed time. 8 is too early for a 10 year old. I would try 9:00 and she should be more tired then, therefore able to fall asleep easier.

Hi, my 9 year old seems to be the same way! She is a firecracker at bedtime. I try to have her read in bed, but it doesn't always help. I am excited to see what others say. My husband says it is because she is growing and splitting cells, thus she can't sit still in a chair!

I have a daughter that is just like that, but has been for many many years! We walk everynight about 2.5 hours before bed, and if the weather is TOO cold or wet we use a kid friendly exercise video. I still put her in bed at about 8:45 (too early makes it even harder for her to get to sleep and then she is up even later) she has a night light by her bed and can read until her timer goes off at 9:30, then lights out! You can try all these tactics but start earlier if your daughter needs more sleep, mine is doing just great on 9 hours, no problems at all) The exersice helps alot, I think that her body requires more exercise then she is getting during the day, she sits at school most of the day, then she sits to do her homework after school, then there is dinner, then showers and then bed, so I made a point to get in about 45 mins of exercise before dinner and showers. The exercise needs to be about 2.5-3 hours BEFORE bed ~ whatever fits your schedule. Good luck and I hope everyoone starts to get some good sleep in your house soon! =}

You mentioned that your daughter has not had any problems falling asleep until recently. You may need to address what has changed lately that may have caused this. If there are no physical or emotional discomforts apparent then you will want to look at her bed time routine. She needs to be doing things that are relaxing in preparation for sleep about an hour before bed time. Doing the same routine each night will help. Try a warm bath and then reading until lights out at 8. It could be that she is just growing up and hitting the preteen years. Teens are often night owls. It’s just natural for them not to be tired at night and want to sleep in the morning. I tried for years to force my son to sleep before midnight. Indeed, he wanted to sleep, but he would just lie awake in bed for hours in the dark. Most of the time he never got to sleep before 2am. As I say, this went on for years. Thankfully he’s now in college and can schedule his classes so that he can sleep in. He just isn’t tired when the rest of us are.

I'd try moving her bedtime later. 8:00 seems pretty early for a 10 year old. Maybe have her in her room by 8:30 or 9, and lights out at 9:30 or 10? The journal is a good idea too. A couple of my kids are night owls (like I was), and an early bedtime doesn't work for them; in fact, they end up awake longer when they go to bed earlier because they are so restless. Good luck!

Hi D.,

When my kids can't sleep I have them do a relaxation technique which always works for them. It is really easy. I tell them to start at their head and repeat in their minds...."My hair is relaxed, My scalp is relaxed, My forehead is relaxed, my eyes are relaxed, nose, cheeks, teeth, gums, tongue, neck etc." We use every body part we can think of down to the toe nails. Usually I go through it once with them, and then they do it themselves. It either really relaxes them and they fall asleep or their minds get bored and they fall asleep. Either way eventually they are snoozing.

Another thing I have taught them to take the pressure off is that even if you are not sleeping you are resting. That way they are not obsessing about not being asleep.

By the way, my kids are 10 and 6.

I hope my suggestions help you.

C.

Have her try taking Calms Forte - it's homeopathic and safe for kids. Also try double-strength chamomile tea before bedtime.

D., Please do your daughter a huge favor and get her "silent nights" homeopathic sleep patches. You will be sooo glad you did. They work quickly and you wake up rested and happy!

I can't speak from experience as a mom, but I remember having similar trouble when I was about the same age (funny, the things I remember). When I talked to my mom about it, she thought that maybe I was not getting enough exercise so I was not tired enough. And when I made a point to get more physical activity, I think the problem disappeared. I believe this happened during the summer when there was not a lot going on, and I'm sure your daughter is in school now and is pretty busy, but maybe it is mainly sedentary stuff? I don't know, just a thought...

A wonderful thing, once you know why she is staying asleep, is Melatonin. This is an amino acid that your body makes, is completely natural, and for most people will help them to fall asleep in an hour or less and no 'hangover' the next morning.

Best to get at Whole Foods, Sprouts, Henrys, but should be available at grocery stores too. One pill = 1 mg. which should work and up to 3 mg is safe for most people.

My daughter takes one every night, sometimes two. My son takes a Slow Release 2.5 as he has trouble staying asleep. I take both.

First, I totally agree with everything Carrie B. said below about relaxing each part of your body. This is part of Yoga relaxation and boy does it work to relax your body and clear your head of any thoughts that are racing around keeping you awake! You can take it one step further also using visualization. You picture yourself in a beautiful, peaceful place (walking along a beach, in a meadow) totally individual choice. As you are walking you picture yourself doing something that s l o w l y counts you down from 10 down to one. Such as...on the beach you pick up a stick and slowly draw the numbers 10, 9, 8, etc in the sand. You can go down a staircase, pick the petals off a daisy, whatever. The point is you are slowly bringing yourself down to relaxation from 10 to - by the time you get to 1 - you are so sleepy. It is totally in your mind but if you really get into it it works! That was a loooong explanation, hope it makes sense! Anyway, before you try any of the things you read on here, I would talk to her heart to heart to see if there's anything going on that she wants to talk about. Maybe there's something weighing on her mind lately that keeps her up? I loved the Journal idea whoever wrote that below to! If hse can't really talk about them at least she can get it out of her head. GREAT idea to save them for later too! :-) Good luck with your daughter!

I remember when I was 10, I never fell asleep before 10pm, but I always had to be in bed by 9:30 at the latest. My mom tried books, but I'd get so engrossed that I'd stay up even later just so I could finish a story and would end up staying up until 2-3am...

Then she gave me a journal so that I could write about my day. This did the trick for me, I'd get so sleepy, that I'd fall asleep midway through an entry. I still have those diaries and laugh not only at the subjects (I can't believe my best friend was so mean to me today!...) but at how my writing would get worse and worse until it was a line across the page...

Try different things and definitely talk to her to see what's up. If she won't respond, try the journal method. Oftentimes kids need to vent, but by the pre-teen years, they often don't feel comfortable talking to mom or dad...

I'd say that maybe, by this age, she is changing ( my daughter is around this age) and simply can't fall asleep so early. 8pm is pretty early. I think it's important to take any or all pressure off her, because if she thinks you're antsy about it, she'll be more antsy about it and that just makes matters worse. Just let her know that her body will fall asleep when it needs to. Two things could help - lots of exercise (and not too close to bedtime!) and then perhaps just letting her read starting at about 8:30 or even 9:00, while in bed. Also, when my daughter can't sleep occasionally, I will just turn on her fav. CD, very low, and let it play while she's closing her eyes. It gives her something to focus on instead of NOT being able to sleep!
I'm sure this phase will end shortly.
M.

hi there, i had a girlfriend when i was very young that had sudden changes in her life. we are both in our 50's and i only found out 10 years ago she had been sexually assulted. I am only saying this as a suggestion. Hopefully this is not the problem, see the school conselor or a private therpist to make sure this is not the problem. My best to you and your family. I would hate to see her spend her whole life disturbed by something as this, but i myself also know how this can affect your life.

Maybe she's ready to have her bed time moved back a little ( depending on how early she needs to get up in the morning). How about moving it to 8:30 since she's a double digit kid now.

Have you ruled out too busy of activities before bed time? How about caffeine? Is she worried about something? I would try talking to her and seeing how things are going at school with her peers.

Hi-

Is she eating any sugar at night, caffeine? Maybe have her take a bath at night to soothe her and drink some soothing tea?

HTH!

Hi D.-

We also had that problem but it didn't happen all of a sudden, my daughter is just a night owl. What has worked for us is she and I doing a easy beginning yoga dvd right before bedtime. Make sure it's easy because we did a harder one once and it woke us both up! Some of these relaxation cd's worked as well. There is one with just bells and rain and stuff like that that is excellant. I can't think of the name but if you are interested then send me a email off-line and I'll get it to you.
Some previous moms mentioned that since it's a new thing, looking into finding out if something happened recently. Those are very good suggestions.

Good Luck!

I had the same problem when I was around her age. I think it had something to do with my peers at school. I was picked on a lot in school, and going to sleep meant that soon I would face another day with the mean kids. I loved my teachers and learning, but I was the "teachers pet" and got teased a lot. I went to bed at 8 then too, and I was not tired, so I spent those hours thinking about school, being made fun of, etc. Did something happen at school within the past month that might be worrying her? Suggest that she stretches before bed. Also, journaling really helped me to relax. Make sure she stays away from caffeine after school. I would suggest letting her stay up a little later than 8 so that she gets an extra hour with you. Maybe that extra hour will be enough to make her a little more tired so the sleep will come easier.

she is thinking to much as she lays there trying to fall alseep, either not enough exercise to make her tired, something with caffine or sugar before bed, or she is growing up * pm is a bit early how about 8:30 and she can read for ten mintues before the lights go out.. reading always helps,

by the way did she have a sleep over at somebodys house lately ?? scary stories by chance or watched something she doesn't want to tell you she did and it scared her ?? ask questions mom

Not sure if she naps at all during the day or after school. If she does, definitely cut that out. Also, some exercise before bedtime (something fun like jumping rope) would help her exhaust that last bit of energy. I'd do the exercise at around 7pm to let that short high from exercise wear off. Good luck.

I have several suggestions that have worked with my children when in the same problem as your daughter with going to sleep.
Letting her read in bed until she falls asleep.
Playing soft music, quietly to help her relax and go to sleep.
A glass of milk before bed.
A warm bath before bed.
Telling her that these things will help her to get to sleep helps her believe that it will work.
Good luck.

(let me start by saying that I can't spell anything with more than about 5 letters so don't hold it against me!!) I use a very simple technique of self hypnotism. You can help guide her thru it the first time and then she will be able to do it on her own. I had the same problem about that age and it still works to this day. Have her get in bed lying on her back comfortably with her pillow. She should close her eyes and focus one body part at a time concentrating on relaxing muscles one by one. Start with the toes and slowly move up to her head. This relaxes tense muscles but also allows her to focus on her own body feeling calm and restful instead of focusing on school work, boys, and all of the other things that might be rolling around in her noggin. I still have a head full of things when I hit the bed. I'm sure all moms agree on that. It is so important to teach our girls to take time out for their own selves. You can start her on that path early. Good luck, be patient and listen to your inner mommy. She knows what she's talking about!!

Her body clock may be changing and 8 p.m. may be too early for her now while 10 or 11 p.m. may be too late. I would try setting it up so that starting at 7 or 7:30 in the evening, the t.v. is turned off for her and she is in her room doing quiet things like reading, coloring, nighttime yoga or stretching (anything soft and gentle on the body), and the like. Keep the lighting in her room soft/dim. In fact, if she is going to read in her room, get her a booklight that she can use so that all the lights in her room can be turned off.

Hope this helps.