11 Year Old Diagnosed with ODD

He is a bit young to have this diagnosis. His personality is still in flux and it seems a bit irresponsible on the part of the medical practitioner to make such a diagnosis.

My experience with 11 year old boys is that they go through a bit of a defiant phase at this age - sort of like an instant (but more destructive) replay of two-year-old defiance. Questioning and challenging authority, in both two-year-olds and eleven-year-olds, seems to be part of their differentiating themselves from you as a parent and part of their normal mental and emotional growth and development. Eleven year olds are more capable than two-year-olds, however, and therefore more capable of negative behavior. Because this seems to be part of a normal developmental phase at this time, I would be very, very hesitant to accept a mental illness diagnosis at this point and would be even more leery of medicating your son for it.

You need to set proper limits, treat him with respect and insist that he treat you with the same level of respect, give him as much (limited) freedom as he can handle - which may not be much, love him, love him, and love him, and realize that his behavior is not always going to be perfect. He is dealing with new hormones, new physiology, and new relationships, and does not know how to act. Above all, he needs to know that you love him unconditionally even though you might put limits on his immediate behavior.

In all likelihood, you can work him through this difficult developmental phase. Try to do it without drugs or the stigma of a mental illness diagnosis.

The bottom line: They go through the "terrible twos" about every ten years. Deal with it.

Note: My son went through this sort of phase at age eleven and turned out just fine. He is now a fine, upstanding twenty-seven year old who has a very nice personality and is not oppositional defiant in his behavior.

I have no experience with this disorder specifically, but have family members with other disorders and I just wanted to say that I agree wholeheartedly with the advice written by Lbarclay B.

Best of luck to you!

Visit www.The TotalTransformation.com. Remember, whether somebody says that you have a disease or a disorder, it still needs to be dealt with. If you can fix it with behavior therapy, that would be ideal!

hi M. I also have an 11 yr old that has odd it can b terrible and gets worse with age I have no 1 to talk to because no 1 I know knows what this is my daughter was diagnosed at age 4 and she takes meds but wow at nighttime the mouth on that girl is horrible and it does not matter the punishment she will not stop, I am so at wits end with her in fact if some1 on here can help please e mail me ____@____.com

I don't have personal experience with this but I subscribe to an online newsletter that talks about this & would probably be a great resource for coping. It's empoweringparents.com. You can sign up for free weekly email newsletters. Good luck!

God bless ya! I have an 18 yr. old son that has severe ADD. That is the only thing he has ever been diagnosed with but with all the research that I have done I know he has a sensory disorder and ODD....and sometimes I swear he is bipolar..LOL But at 18 now he refuses to go see his doctor...and there is nothing I can do about it. I am not sure that I can give you any advice on how to deal with it because I feel as though its been nothing but a train wreck here with my son. I have done everything possible that I can think of to help him and nothing ever seems to work. He REFUSES to take meds. for his ADD...so right there is problem #1 for us. Anyway...I just wanted to let you know that more than likely you will hear horrible things from people. The first one being that ODD doesn't really exsist and if you were a better mom and disiplined your child you wouldn't have this problem. PLEASE...PLEASE...do not listen to them!!!!! They are soooo wrong!!!! Until people walk in your shoes they have NO idea and don't have the right to judge. Even here on this site I have had some nasty responses to questions about my son with his ADD. So...I guess my best advice to you is to keep your head high...do not listen to people that have no idea what they are talking about. And just do your best. Also...make sure you have a GOOD doctor for him. Doctors that will really listen to you make all the difference in the world. I really wish you the best of luck and hope that someone on this site can give you some advice that will help you. I will be curious to see what other responses you get. To all you others out there that are feeling the need to respond...honestly...if you don't have anything nice to say...please don't respond. Mother's like us already beat ourselves up enough that we don't need it from other people. :)
M....feel free to contact me anytime...not sure I can help but I can listen. :)

Hope this helped a little

J.

I'm a child and family psychologist - what do you want to know? usually families work with both medications and with behavioral support. You need to work with a good therapist who can consult with the school as well. It must be hard to get this diagnosis - or maybe it feels better to know what's going on and feel like you can move forward now with a treatment plan. Kids with ODD are often difficult to live with, but a good consistent behavior plan can make a big big difference.

take care, S.

My heart goes out to you! don't let anyone tell you that your son is just normal and you just need more structure! this IS a real disorder and needs to be treated as such! You are a good mom for wanting more information on this topic. You should check out the NAMI website: www.nami.org I'm pretty sure my mom learned about ODD through their organization and classes. I can't believe people think this isn't a real problem- sorry you will face that. I wish you luck on this difficult journey.

There’s emerging evidence that, once nutritional concerns have been addressed, children with various disorders improve at some level. I would drastically improve his diet, eliminating all sugars, white flour, and food additives (MSG, nitrates, artifical colors and flavors). You might be very surprised at the results. In addition, when you support gut function, you feed the brain. All kids usually benefit from probiotics and cod liver oil.
You might find this blog helpful (although it's directed to kids with ADHD, the nutrition information applies)>
http://www.babybites.info/2008/12/11/picky-eater-adhd/
and this blog as well>
http://www.babybites.info/2008/04/10/a-sad-diet/

I would also look up Dr. Daniel Amen's clinic online. He does brain imaging and has published several books.

Hi M.. I have known two boys with ODD. They were my students since they were in 1st grade through 4th grade. And they were twin brothers. I was so relieved that the school therapist found this out about them. I was close with their older sister. Make sure his teachers know and understand this and what to do about it. My observation and thinking was, no kid would get up in the morning and cause this much trouble for himself ON PURPOSE. It just made sense. Unfortunately in their case, there was a twin who was worse than the other. What I HATED was the teachers had secret labels...the good twin and the bad twin. Isn't that horrible? They really responded WeLL to praise and being given responsibility. I think they might have had indivitual contracts as well. I've seen contracts work well in alot of different cases at school (I'm a teacher). Good luck Hope that helped

M.,
Have you sought different doctors for a second, or third, opinion?
Have you heard of the book, "The War Against Boys"?
http://www.amazon.com/War-Against-Boys-Misguided-Feminism...

A.

Read as uch as you can about the subject and talk to his therapist. My son has the same thing, they can still be great kids, just with a few more bumps in the road... They can make great leaders if guided in the right direction. Keep him busy with positive things and help him to find something that can alleviate stress, for my son its fishing, he goes fishing with his grandpa every chance he gets, usually every weekend during school and almost daily on breaks. The rush of catching that fish does something chemically that is better for him than drugs and there have been some studies that have shown that a sport or an activity(doesn't have to be fishing) that gives a child (particularly boys) that rush can help keep them from doing street drugs which ODD kids can be more susceptible too. Just remember that nothing has changed but a few letters, he is still the same kid and love him just the same, he needs you and Im sure this is even more confusing for him than you. It can be a really good thing to have a diagnosis and can lead you in the right direction. My son is not on any meds and is doing just fine, he has no classroom aids in place at school and has lots of friends. He is involved in scouts, church activities, fishing, student council. He loves to express himself through art and I have set up a gallery in his room and I have also set up a punching bag and a bean bag chair in his room. If you create the right environment for him, he can THRIVE. I wish you the best of love and luck!! They are so worth it!

Isn't it every parents dream to have their kids grow up to be happy, functioning, contributing members of society. It can happen.

S.

I have been a teacher / behavior therapist to two boys with this diagnosis. What really is helpful is a structured home and school environment. Your child is more likely to have success throughout the day if he knows what to expect. This is also true for boundaries and rules. You need to have well established rules set up in your home that are appropriate (neither too harsh nor too lenient). For instance, a rule might be "Use kind words" (no bad language). If rules are broken, consequences must be consistent and appropriate. Your child will feel much more secure knowing that he can expect, with 100% accuracy, what will happen if he breaks a rule. For instance, if he hits a sibling for asking for a turn on the gameboy, he will lose gameboy privileges for the evening. Also, positive reinforcement (praise, etc.) is really important. If you see your child following the rules or treating a sibling nicely, make sure you tell him how proud you are of his good choices. I believe that medication is an individual choice that should be made with the help of a doctor. If symptoms are severe, medication might help your little guy feel better, and therefore help him to better follow any behavior plans you have in place. I have seen great success in both of the children in my classes. It sounds like you are already on the right track by finding out the best ways to help your child.
Good luck!

Hi Michele if you would like to email me at ____@____.com I can talk to you about it...I have a 6 year old and he was diganosed 2 years ago...Theres alot for you to know...My son also has ADD and ADHD...Other Drs adivce were seeked out...I can tell you that my husband I did get "the total tranformation program" by James Lehman.
And we have raley have any problems with the ODD anymore. I love that program.
J.