12 Month Old Not Going to Sleep on His Own

Updated on June 04, 2008
C.C. asks from Bronxville, NY
6 answers

I rocked my son to sleep every night until 9 months old. Recently, I changed his bedtime routine. Bath, bottle, books and in crib awake, but sleepy. As soon as I begin to put him in his crib, he starts to cry. As I move towards the crib, his body stiffens. After I give bedtime kisses and leave, he cries hysterically. I slowly started this new routine. If he cries, I go in for less than a minute and leave..will do it a few times if he cries for one hour. Yes, I've done all the things I'm suppose to do for him to go to sleep on his own and it's not working. I've been constistent with my routine for 3 weeks now.

Any suggestions?

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A.M.

answers from New York on

I suggest you try adding some white noise and soothing lights - maybe one of those crib aquariums, a glowing stuffed animal, a light projector and/or a noise machine that makes ocean, heartbeat or another soothing noise.

My daughter has always been an amazing sleeper but when we go away for the night I ALWAYS bring two things - her "glow-y" bear and something to make white noise (sometimes it's a CD player to play lullabye music, sometimes it's the heartbeat bear, etc). The noise soothes her and blocks out other noises that might make her stir (she's a light sleeper)and the lights give her the ability to create soothing light if she wakes up and it's dark. She can light up her bear, look around the room and see that she's safe in her bed and fall back to sleep.

When I don't bring these items she has a hard time falling asleep. They make her feel comfortable and secure. She's had both a music/noise maker and some kind of soft light in her bassinet/crib/bed since she was born. Maybe adding something like these to his bed will help.

Good luck!

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R.L.

answers from New York on

Sounds like he's used to falling asleep on you, and not comfortable falling asleep in his crib yet. You might have to really stage it out for him. Like stand near his crib and hold him and rock your body until he falls asleep, then, closer and closer, then in the crib, etc. Also, I've read that it helps babies if you let them play in their crib during the day and make it a happy stress free place for them. If he starts to cry you take him out and make no big deal of it. But, if he doesn't let him see his stuffed animals or a favorite toy in there and you all happy and smiling and interacting with him for like 5-10 minutes than take him out. The more association with his crib being happy and safe, the better.

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J.J.

answers from New York on

my kids are 3 yrs old and 15 months and do not go to sleep on thier own and i think it's very normal. my 3 yr old JUST started being able to go into his big boy bed drowsy and fall asleep himself, literally in the last two weeks. my daughter nurses to sleep and gets nursed back to sleep 1-2 times per night.

please do not allow yourself to feel pressured into this torturous BS of "teaching the child to fall asleep alone." it is a matter of maturity and security in the child and ALL children develop at different rates. 1 yr old is still a tiny baby. if i were you i would drop the subject for a couple of months; do whatever you need to help him fall asleep, and when he's older you can try again to put him down awake and hope that he becomes able to fall asleep on his own when he is ready; HE WILL do it eventually, but if you create a panicky situation about it for him, it will take a lot longer.

good luck
J.

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M.H.

answers from New York on

Have you tried the crib aquarium? It has soothing music and fish and babies are mesmerized by it. Also...we had the same exact problem with my son - he is now 14 months old. We HAD to let him cry it out. It really works. The longest he cried was 45 minutes and we didn't go in at all. It was the hardest thing ever, but he learned how to soothe himself. Now, he goes in his crib awake at 6:45 and sleeps until 5:30 am. Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from New York on

Hi C..

I have 2 boys (5 & 2). I breastfed them both to sleep and around the same time I also changed the bedtime routine. For me, it was the best thing I did was to teach them to fall asleep on their own. I would do the same as you and they also would scream. :( The key to this process is to be consistent. You didn't write for how long you've been doing it. It should take a minimum of 3 days but could take longer and you need to be consistent to do it at all sleep times, naps and night time, otherwise he will just be confused and upset.

It's not a fun process, but one thing that I understood during and now is that you really are teaching them a life skill. They need to learn how to fall asleep on their own. My kids started sleeping better after this as well, probably because if they woke in the night they knew how to put themselves back to sleep.

Don't know if I helped you at all. I know it can be frustrating. I'm sure you'll get lots of responses and different opinions on how to do this. But be encouraged because you will get through it and he will go to sleep on his own. You're doing a great job. Hang in there. Let us know how it goes.

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V.R.

answers from New York on

Hi, I know it's difficult to leave your son. But I think that your son knows that you will come back in once he starts crying. So, don't go back in. Let him cry. It should take a few days for him to realize that he cannot manipulate you by crying. Kids are smarter than we are sometimes. Read him a bedtime story or sing him a lullaby at bedtime. Good Luck.

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