Please Help! How Do I Get My 9-Month Old to Sleep in Her Crib?

Hi J..

I am not tough enough for the "cry it out" method. While it works for some, it didn't work for me. This is some advice I got from my pediatrician, called the four Bs.

Bath
Breast (or bottle)
Book
Bed

It's hard to break the swing routine, and it probably will involve some tears (from both of you). Let Audrey take a bath like usual and then read her a book while she had her bottle. Dim the lights a little while you read so she associates that with the end of the day. Then when she gets sleepy put her in her bed, but don't leave. In fact, keep your hand on her so that she can close her eyes and know that you're still there. Then gradually you can get further and further away until she's falling asleep on her own.

Good luck, J.. I think this is one of the toughest hurdles for us mothers... but you can do it!

S.

Hi J.,

I too have a 9mo daughter. They are so much fun aren't they? My suggestion is to switch around your routine a bit. Start with dinner, then play time, then bath and your quite cuddle time. Then give her the bottle and once she's drowsy, set her down and help her settle down. I've tried the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly with both of my kids (my son is 3) and it's worked great, with no crying it out. My other big piece of advice is to be really consistent. Don't go back to the swing just cause you're tired or because she's crying.

I don't believe in "doing it wrong". We all do what works for us. Sometimes we just have to find a different way. Good luck!

Hi,

does your daughter sleep in her crib for naps? Does she sleep in her crib at all right now? has she been able to fall asleep on her own without you rocking her, or the swing?

Our son (who is 2 now) used to fall asleep easily & then at times, as soon as we put him in his crib, he would wake up...my husband figured out that if he bounced the mattress to continue some motion, this helped him back to sleep. We had to work on a sleep routine & helping our son to fall asleep without being rocked, and like you mention, put him in his crib awake. We had a few rough nights (well a few weeks, to be truthful) of him crying for what seemed like hours, and we would just tag team & go check on him, not make eye contact or pick him up but just tell him it's time to sleep, we love him, & that sort of thing (briefly) & let him try to soothe himself to sleep. You have to use your judgment, since sometimes we couldn't stand it & knew he needed to be soothed more in a physical way...but you get the idea.

It's important for children to know how to get themselves to sleep, especially if you want an easier job at naptime & bedtime. You have to use your own judgment about how much/long you are willing to let your child cry, tho...we have known families whose children don't go for the "crying it out" business, and can carry on quite a crying marathon.

Some things that worked for us for bedtime routine are: put a relaxing cd or tape in a boombox in our son's room & let it play while he is trying to fall asleep; we have a special light that shows stars & moons that he likes to have on to look at while he is falling asleep; play a mobile over his bed; we attached a crib "aquarium" toy that he can control that also has soothing music & ocean sounds (this was a true lifesaver! he uses one at his grandma's house as well); and sometimes let him take a board book or two into his crib to look at while he becomes sleepy.

At the beginning when we were trying to help him sleep on his own, we(one of us) would sit in his room with the lights off, in a rocker next to his crib, and just rock & be there, but not engage with him, while he tried to fall asleep. This didn't last too long (number of nights we had to do this), and sometimes I would just bring in a pillow & blanket & sleep on the floor next to his crib until he fell asleep, then go out to my own bed.

You have to be creative; try lots of different things, and like you said, pretty soon she'll be too big for her swing & you'll have to switch to using other ideas...

hope this helps, & good luck!

My son also slept through the night at 2 months. I used to rock him to sleep in my arms. When we transitioned at 7 1/2 months to going to sleep awake, it was really hard. He was/is extremely stubborn. We decided to let him cry it out, because our presence in the room wasn't good enough. He would stand up and try to crawl over. Crying it out was one of the hardest things I've ever had to endure as a mother, but it was worth it. Some nights I had to leave the house and let my husband put him to bed because I wanted to go pick him up. Children need to learn that we won't always be there for them, and that they can rely on themselves for certain things, like falling asleep. I think the first night took almost 2 hours, but after that it did get less and less, but it took almost a month before it wasn't a struggle at night. Now he's almost four, and sleeps great. I was recently out of the country for 10 days, and he didn't freak out, because he is secure enough to realize that I always come back. That's one of the things that crying it out accomplishes. Good luck! I know how you feel.

If she's being cared for at home while you are working, make sure the care giver is having the baby nap in her crib. That's how I transitioned my baby from basinet to crib - started with the naps. Maybe you should just stick to the same routine, whatever it may be, in the same order for at least one week. Eventually she'll learn that this is how it's going to be. I didn't let mine cry it out, but I did let her cry a little longer each night until she stopped. Good luck!

My 3 yr old had a hard time sleeping in her crib at first. When we laid her down still awake but sleepy,We tried standing next to her crib while she fell asleep, then further towards the door each night. She knows your there and it re-assures her. then you can sit outside her door(door open) until she falls asleep. When we used to put her in her crib, she would stand up climb up and fall out of her crib and bang on the door all night until she fell asleep in front of her closed door. We tried this way standing there with her, and it made it so much easier.

hi J... I had issues getting my son to fall asleep in his crib since he slept with me in my bed at night.. But the best way to get her to fall asleep in her bed is to let her cry her self to sleep... It is hard to listen to them cry but it will take a long time the first night for her to cry herself to sleep.. But whatever you do don't go open the door to check on her because if she is still awake you will just piss her off more... but the time it takes her to fall asleep will get shorter as you do this... my son took about 45 minutes to fall asleep the first night then only 15 the next... So its kind of nice..
I know you don't want to hear that but i think its a great way to get kids to fall asleep on their own... Thats my suggestion and it worked for me... Good luck with getting her to fall asleep

I know it's tough, but alot of babies need to get used to the idea of sleeping and they are going to cry when left to their own devices whether we want them to or not. There are those lucky parents whose kids just go to sleep automatically...boy do I wish I was one of those!
Most moms I've talked with have said that they had to end up doing the cry it out. I let my boy cry it out, but I stay in the room and don't say a word. If he asks me to pick him up, I say "Night Night" and leave it at that. Eventually he'll cry himself to sleep. I did the same thing when he woke up in the middle of the night. After a couple of weeks of that, he sleeps through the night (or atleast doesn't wake up screaming for me) even though the initial going down process can still be a little rocky.
You'll know what to do when you're ready for it.

It sounds like she is a normal baby that may be teething or is going through a growth spurt. Remember that 'sleeping through the night' for a baby means a good 4-5 hour block.

It may also be that she needs to connect with you since you are gone during the day. Co-sleeping has been a tremendous blessing to me and my family- especially when I did WOH with my first. I took her crib and took off one side and pushed it up to our bed and since then we've been co-sleeping and she has slept through the night and I have gotten more sleep that way too. You can check out more about safe co-sleeping;
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

My almost 9 mo old started doing the same thing when he is teething. He falls asleep after his bottle, then we set him in his crib, but when he is getting a tooth he won't stay down and is up most of the night unless we hold him. That might be what's happening with your little one. Crying it out never worked for any of my kids, but it may for you. After 30 minutes I couldn't take it any more. The good news, is if it's teething, it should only last about a week...until the next tooth comes.

I understand you so well. My baby is 1year old now, but when she was about 6 months old we got used to putting her in the stroller to fall asleep, and then take her out and put her in the crib, but she would scream and not stop until we put her back in the stroller and moved her back and forth. I didn't know what to do, and her crib is in our room, so I was told to let her cry it out. So I did and I put her in her crib and she screamed and reached out for me, and that was hard, but I just talked to her softly and soothed her. She did cry alot the first night, the second night it was less, and by the third night she was used to it. It is better to do it while they are very young. The older they get the harder it is. So good luck, and let her cry but stay near by.

I have one suggestion and that is to put her in her crib and let her cry it out. My daughter is 4 months old and loves her swing too. I have started to transition her to sleeping in her crib and falling asleep on her own. I do let her nap from time to time in her swing, but at bedtime I put her in her crib after she eats and then put her down. She cries for a little bit sometimes, but she always passes out. It's ok to let them cry a little. If she is crying for more than 15 minutes you can go check on her and pat her and then leave again. Do not pick her up. That makes it worse. I wish I would have learned to do this with my son. I rocked him to sleep until he was almost a year. lol. It just makes it harder to get them to sleep by themselves. Just as long as you know your baby isn't hungry or dirty then don't worry. She'll fall asleep eventually. I know it's horrible to hear your baby cry, so I just go somewhere in the house where I don't have to listen to it and it makes it easier for me to deal with. Good luck!

L.