12 Year Old Wants to Pluck Her Eyebrows

Middle school is one big anxiety wrapped in a bullying opportunity. If it makes her feel more confident, let her.

she's right at the perfect age to start learning about and taking charge of self-care. what's the harm?
khairete
S.

My son has a unibrow and is very self-conscious about it. He is 10 and we have been doing this for about a year. We shave a small section in between and that's it. He asked for my help and I helped him. Also, when his Dad takes him for a haircut, the ladies there will trim them for him. Its no big deal and he feels better.
I would have no problem if I had a daughter ask me to help her with her brows, I look at school age pics of me and wish my Mom would have helped me! Oy!

I would take her to have it threaded or waxed professionally. I started plucking at that age, and had to figure it out myself. I wish I had some more help.

ETA: Spending $6 every few months isn't exactly going to make them high maintenance. I just see too many teenage girls with absolutely ridiculous "do it yourself" eyebrows. They walk around with a look of perpetual surprise drawn on to their faces after they plack almost every last hair from their brows/

Of course, why wouldn't we? Show her how to do it correctly, or take her for a girl day at the salon and have her brows professionally shaped. Make an afternoon of it. This is a chance to show her how to do something tastefully and correctly. Be glad she's even asking...this is the kind of thing I just assumed was my choice and went ahead and did.

My SD (now 16) used to walk around when she was 12 like she was going incognito. She used to make sure her bangs were really long, flat, and then would pull a hat down low to make sure they didn't move. She looked ridiculous. After a couple of months of this, I had enough and sat her down and make her tell me what was up. Some kid had made fun of her bangs (in 3rd grade!) because they were wavy and then she was self-conscious about her full eyebrows (not a unibrow and she's blonde so they weren't dark but they were thick) and this had turned into a full-blown neurosis. I took her to get her brows done and voila! Problem solved and we could see her face and eyes again.

Girls are so self-conscious at this age. Take her grooming concerns seriously and help her solve them. This isn't a hill worth dying on.

Okay, is it just me? Apparently it's just me.

I don't see what the big deal is about plucking out a few hairs in between her brows, if she thinks she has a unibrow. If you're worried about her plucking too much, assist her.

But I guess I'm just old or out of touch or something, because I don't understand having to go to a salon to pluck out a few eyebrow hairs. To me, this is setting a precedent for being kind of high-maintenance. Teaching a young girl to spend money to pull out some eyebrow hairs, when you can buy tweezers for a couple of bucks, and do it yourself? I don't get it.

When my daughter started tweezing, I cautioned her not to overpluck, because sometimes they don't grow back, if overplucked too often.

I haven't had this particular issue but of COURSE if either of my girls were self conscious about something I would try to help them, even if I didn't feel like they needed it.
If you are not familiar with proper plucking techniques (like me, I'm fair, light haired and clueless) then take her to a salon or makeup place, where she can learn how to do it the right way.
It's body hair not sex, don't confuse the two.

Really? It's not a big deal. She's at a critical age regarding self esteem, hormones and more.

So what if you don't think she has a I unibrow.... SHE does think so. Why not support her.

I know plenty of girls getting eyebrows waxed by that age. You don't know what or if something is being said to her at school about it.

Help her so she maintains her self esteem.

My daughter has a ten year old friend that has been getting her eye brows waxed for a year or so now. I don't see the problem if she needs it done. I would never tell my daughter (10) no if she felt it was something that bothered her.

You do realize that she could have just gone ahead and plucked away. The fact that she is asking for advice from mom is a great thing. Don't ruin the opportunity to let her be aware that she can and should always come to you for advice and direction. Let her pluck - or better yet, take her to a Bliss Bar if you have one near you.

What's the big deal? It's astounding to me that people have issues with this, especially when she is 12. It's such a rough age for girls. If she thinks her brows look bad, they probably do to her, and to others.

Take her to a salon and let them wax them to a good shape, and then let her maintain that. My daughter likes to go to the salon to get hers waxed, but can tweeze them if we don't get there when she'd like.

It's just hair. It will grow back. Definitely let her have some control over this. It's not a big deal really.

I think 12 is a pretty good age to start allowing her to do this. She is taking pride in her appearance which is a good thing! And she might be getting made fun of at school and I wouldn't want my daughter to feel like that because I know I wouldn't want to be made fun of, no one does. Yes I think you should let her. Help her. Show her. Guide her and support her! Your baby girl is growing up! Hugs...

Ugh. Plucking hurts and I refuse. Take her to a good salon (not just the nail salon) and let her get them waxed. Not crazybrows thin, just nicely shaped and remove the hair in the middle.

I don't think this is a big deal, like you, but I also don't think it's a big deal to just go ahead with it.

I don't often read all the comments before I answer, but I did this time, because all this threading and even waxing business is certainly new to me!

In my opinion, a young girl who thinks she needs to pluck her brows is like a young girl who thinks she needs to wear a bra or shave her legs. There's more going on than physical necessity; she's growing up a little, and that brings a degree or two more concern about personal appearance.

Teach her how to do it herself properly. (Thankfully, eyebrow fashion is pretty natural these days. I remember seeing ladies with painted eyebrows when I was a kid!) Show her pictures, or do a little people-watching together, to impress upon her that, when it comes to eyebrow alteration, less is more.

If she won't listen to Mama, *then* it's time to take her to someone she will listen to. Even so, she may make herself look, um, funny at first. Explain that it's part of learning, and lend her your eyebrow fill-in stuff.

eyebrows for me are a 'cautionary' issue.

My grandmother was a 'flapper'...a 'bathtub gin' baby. In her era, they shaved their eyebrows, and 'penciled' them in.

Anyway, after years of shaving them, they did NOT grow back.

Most folks do not realize how MUCH eyebrows have to do with facial expression.

She spent years 'lining' them on. Never really new from day to day what expression she would have...lol....particularly as she got older!!

I have encouraged the occasional 'pluck'...but with a delicate touch.

Styles change....even with eyebrows.

Best!!!

She'd have to be plucking heavily and for awhile before it got to a point where they never grew back in again.
If she over plucks now a little eyebrow pencil can help even out her look.
Let her pluck with supervision from you.
It's not a big deal.

Yes, let her. It bothers her regardless of what you may think.

My friend started waxing her daughters unibrow at around age 5.

My son is 11 and I pluck his eyebrows and have the barber "cut" them. He has some BIG eyebrows!!
Why wouldn't you let your kid pluck her brows?
What's the big deal?
L.

If she's asking, take the time to show her, even if it is a few hairs. When I was 13 I wanted to shave my legs. My mom said no. I went ahead and shaved anyway --- with no soap or water. I still cringe when I see a razor! A couple years later I also wanted to pluck my brows, but didn't ask my mom. I ended up over plucking. I vowed that when my daughter asked me about grooming, makeup etc., I would take the time and show her the correct way. Just like anything else, I'd much rather she get the information or knowledge from me and not friends or the internet.

I do not understand why you would object if she wants to. Show her how or take her to someone who can teach her.

Take her to a salon and talk to the esthetician privately. Tell her what you think and what your daughter thinks. Remind her that she's only 12. Don't let her pluck anything on top (that looks ugly when growing out).

This is kind of like shaving legs. It's important for girls to be able to have some control with this.

Let her. Show her how and observe her doing it so she doesn't make herself look more awkward. She's growing up and that's part of the process too. I'm sure I started plucking my eyebrows too at around that age.

My daughter is also 12. She is fair haired and fair skinned, however, and you have to look for her eyebrows, lol. So no, she doesn't pluck. But then, I really don't either. Every few months I'll notice a darker stray and pluck that... but that's about it. Ever.

I suspect my daughter will be much like me. She has make up, and I took her to a makeup counter to learn how to apply it properly... she just rarely bothers to wear it. She is quite comfortable with herself and prefers not to deal with the hassle.

IF she had dark hair or felt the need to pluck, I would certainly allow it, and guide her in doing so properly. She's 12. I bet she has arm hair, too... my daughter does--just noticed it a couple of weeks ago. Ack!

@ Rosbud--no, it isn't just you! :)

Let her. especially if it is bothering her. You can even take her to learn how to pluck properly.

I remember I took a "modeling class" the summer after 6th grade. It was put on by Seventeen Magazine at a local Department store.

They gave us instructions and a book with all sorts or information about how to pluck, how to put on make up, about how to care for our hair,How to walk, sit, get in and out of a car, how to care for our clothing.

Or you could just Google the information..

My daughter started plucking her eyebrows when she was 12. She does have a slight unibrow which isn't that noticeable to me but she is self-conscious. I showed her how to do it and now she does it on her own. She had no interest in waxing nor do I for the ongoing expense. She's not really trying to shape her brows--just get rid of those hairs in between.

My daughter started getting her brows waxed at 12. She thought she had a unibrow, when she really didn't. I'd rather pay for her to get it professionally done than do it herself and mess up something on her face. After about a year of getting it done regularly she can go longer between appointments because it seems to thin out the hair in that area.

I think I started having DD's una-brow waxed when she was 10 or 11ish. Have it waxed - a tweezer in a young girl's hand sometimes isn't a good thing.

If she's self-conscious, then I would do it. My DD is a bit on the hairy side and when she wants to shave, I'll talk to her about it. Same would be for her eyebrows. She doesn't have a unibrow, but she has the same strays that made me feel self-conscious. And I would rather guide her than let her hack at it by herself like she'd probably do....like I did. I would just be conservative about it. No pencil thin brows or anything like that.

Pretty sure my best friend and I started ourselves around that age. I dont see a big deal. I would ask her exactly what she wants to pluck and help her. If she starts wanting to over pluck then stop her. But if you do yours, teach her how. If you have no idea, I'd take her some place. I was very self conscious about arm hair, eye brows etc and will help my girls when they start expressing that concern. There are plenty of things for them to worry about so little things like this I will try to take away. Almost all females I know pluck. Nothing wrong with it. If she doesn't have a unibrow, there won't be much to do...

I have a son. My mother would have NEVER let me pluck my eyebrows at this age, largely because I wouldn't have had a clue as to what I was doing and would have done a terrible job.

Talk to your daughter about what she thinks is 'ideal'. Look at magazines with her, have her point out what sort of 'look' she is wanting. Then, see what you can do on the 'softer' end (think simple things like blush or some accessories, a new way to wear her hair maybe?) to get that look. Show her pictures of models like Brooke Shields, who had great eyebrows. A lot of models and actresses have thick and strong eyebrows. It may be that she wants too thin of a brow line for her to look good with it/that it would be out of balance with the rest of her face.

I have fairly thick brows which I keep managed neatly as an adult. I didn't start plucking them until I was in my late teens and had learned how to do it correctly. Let her wait a little longer. And when you do let her do it, go to a professional who will help her see what it is *supposed* to look like and who won't go too thin. Having the validation from someone in the business will likely go farther than having mom say "oh, you're fine, sweetie". ;)

Take her in for a good threading...that will fix her.

Really, I would have it professionally done because she could permanently mess up the brow line. And yes, I would take her before she gets ahold of a pair of tweezers and does it herself.

My daughters are 12 and 7. Each time they've seen me get my eyebrows waxed it freaked them out bc they can tell it's a bit painful. So, let your daughter try it…the pain just may change her mind. Or let her watch your pain.

I started taking girls to get their brows done around their 12th birthday. We go every few months at the mall. They get threaded. One of my girls plucks stray hairs in between while the other is afraid to mess it up.

I was sneaking my dad's bladed razor into the shower and shaving between my eyebrows at that age. If she's bothered by it she's going to do something about it when you're not looking....could find the results quite entertaining...I did shave off one end one time, that's the only mistake I ever made. I've shaved them all my life and just recently started plucking a few strays here and there.

If you don't let her, she'll likely do it herself or let a friend do it. And it will be over done/ Better to have it done professionally or do it yourself.

Does she just want to be rid of the unibrow or does she want a whole eyebrow overhaul? That's a big difference, so you need to find out what she's requesting. I started waxing after college, only because everybody made me feel conscious about it. I did it for 3-4 years, every couple of months or so, and then I came to the realization that just because everyone else does it, does not mean I should, so I stopped. I am glad I did, it took a boyfriend to tell me I looked odd with an "Asian" look to my overly-thin, arched eyebrows considering I have strong features, so it did not match the rest of my face. Looking back at pictures now, I see what he means, as they were taking about half my eyebrows when waxing. Had I not stopped sooner, I'm afraid my brows would not have grown back. That happened to one of my co-workers, who is Latina and otherwise has thick, dark hair, so it came as a disappointing shock to her when her eyebrows would not grow back or would grow hair in unusual places and patterns around the brow.

Can you believe that now that I do nothing with my brows, suddenly people tell me they love my eyebrows, which look like Jennifer Connelly's (and with not much of an arch either)? Go figure. I do, however, have some hairs that will show up between my eyebrows, where the nasal bone is found, so I just use hair lightening creams to fade those pesky dark hairs that pop up, and that way, it just looks like peach fuzz. I have tweezers I use in case those short hairs in-between end up getting long and out of control, but as I said, I don't mess with the eyebrows, just those stray hairs.

I would try to just convince her to get rid of the little hairs in between, instead of reshaping (and possibly ruining) her eyebrows. My daughter is almost 8 and she already sort of has a unibrow. She has quite hairy legs, considering the Mediterranean background though, this is normal. I am glad she hasn't asked (or been bullied) about hairy legs the way I was when I was around 15-16, but I will be ready when she does. I certainly don't want her changing the thickness and darkness of her eyebrows, they call attention to her big green/yellow eyes!

PS: Don't let her try her hand at those eyebrow trimming devices, I tried removing some of the hairs on my upper brow during my waxing phase with one, and accidentally took a bit much on one side. I had to buy a brown brow pencil and pencil the "bald spot" for a few months until it grew back. It looked odd and having one brow one shape and another in another shape was somewhat embarrassing. Once the hair grew in, I had to have them wax the other end so it'd match. Again, I am lucky that once I stopped waxing, both brows grew in nicely and symmetrical.

Tell her that it will be a gift for her 13th birthday to get it done by a professional.

As to Felinestroller, castor oil at night can revive sparse brows and lashes. I need it, but often forget to do it at night.