13 Month Old Separation Anxiety

Yes, I did with my daughter. One day we went and I stayed and played with her and one of the sitters. After that point my daughter was absoultely fine. She was 14 months.

Yes, and even when my kids were much older than 13 months. I recall being desperate to go to the gym and get a break, but my child (can't recall which one, but s/he was older than 13 months) cried nonstop while at the gym daycare, so they told me to try it again in 6 months.

If it breaks your heart, find a way to exercise at home. I used to put my oldest in a playpen and jump rope next to him.

Completely normal. The day will come when you have lots of time. I sit here now with no kids at home any more, and I still don't want to work out. (But I have to, wah.)

you need to go for a very short period of time; 3 minutes come back and just say hi and walk around, talk to the workers for 3 minutes. Then leave for 5 minutes, come back, just say hi to him and walk around and talk to the employees. Then leave for 7 minutes, come back etc etc. don't pick him up or make a big deal about coming in.

When our son was 15 months we first put him in daycare. He had had a manny before that. We did a quick drop off, said goodbye and he was in tears. We looked through the 2 way glass and in a few minutes he was fine. Daycare had suggested that if the separation anxiety proved too great, we could have gone go daily so he would grow accustomed to the routine faster. More and regular practice might help yours turn the corner faster.

Best
F. B.

Yes, with both my boys.
Actually, there was a point in time that I recall being on the treadmill (at the front of the gym) and my younger son screaming for me (at the back of the gym) and EVERYONE around me looking at me with a sympathetic smile bc they all knew it was my kid (from having being called back so much). Sigh.

It did take awhile and it did help to just leave them there for 5 min, 10 min, at a time and don't react with guilt or worry when you go to collect them. Just a nice 'good job Mommy's done' and redirect the conversation to what is going on the rest of the day.

Just remember, any time you take a break from the gym (vacation, illness, etc) expect to go through this process again.

I also worked in the kids room at a gym....this is quite common. The rule is 15 minutes bc by that time other kids start to get upset and the whole room can get a little crazy especially during the busy time. We would suggest to parents that had kids struggling to come during our slow times so we could provide more support to the child. I would talk to the worker and find out when the slow time is. We always tried to accommodate the parents who wanted to work on this, so definitely try talking to them.

Good luck!

This is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your child....don't give up!

I would tell them that they need to leave him be and let him cry. Why do they come get you? Don't they have any child care training?

If he cries and you come running then he learns to cry and mommy will show up. SO tell them to let him cry and you go enjoy your work out. He will get used to it.

I guess my attitude comes from the fact that many people have to actually work and they don't have a choice. They have to leave their kids in child care. If their child cries they turn around and leave then go to work. The child care providers have to deal with everything until mom or dad gets off work and comes to get them.

I agree with the babysitter option. Separation anxiety is caused by the baby not having established object permanence. This means when you're not in sight they literally think you're never coming back. When my darling son was that age, I was home with him full time. I would literally have to leave the house, once DH was home from work, and drive around the block for 10 minutes or so, return and prove to him that mommy does come back. It's a process but babies do eventually learn this lesson and then it's off to the next challenge/chapter. Enjoy it all. :-) S.

For most kids, it works to just leave. For some they need reassurance that this is a safe.place to be. By staying and interacting with staff in the child's presence, as J C suggested, you and staff can help the child feel more secure.

Does he accept you leaving in other areas of his life. Do you go to the store without him, for example. Has he stayed with a babysitter? If being left is a new and unexpected experiences, I suggest his reaction is to be expected.

I would work on getting him comfortable without you. Leave the daycare center for 10-15 minutes and come back. Tell him you'll be back. Have a worker be with him as you leave. Extend the time you're gone, in increments, until he's abe to tolerate your leaving with only a brief time of crying. This way he knows you always come back. Perhaps management would let you do this even when you're not exercising.

Take it in stages. Go in together and play and leave together after a few minutes. And repeat as often as necessary. Help him find some favorite toys and some favorite sitters and just feel comfortable there. Later, try leaving just for a minute. I don't believe in sneeking out. I would say mom is going to be right back and then come right back. Just keep practicing longer periods of time until he loves it so much he doesn't want to leave.

Get a babysitter to come to your home and go work out. An experienced mother is your best bet. Yes, baby will cry, but he will be happieAr at home. And it's good for him to have a babysitter because he learns to deal with someone other than mom being with him. He needs to learn that and you need to let him learn.

As long as you coddle him by not leaving, he won't learn. Make sure that your babysitter understand what's facing her. You can do this.