14 Month Old - Not Talking, Throwing Tantrums

My second son did the same thing at that age. We taught him sign language for "more" and a few other essential signs and his tantrums reduced significantly. When we were able to communicate without words he was less frustrated. He is now 22 months old and is able to say most words and no longer needs to use sign language.

I also read "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" and found some useful information.

Good luck.

i have 19 yr old twins. its normal for kids to have tantrums. just ignore him. he will stop

Well, I had a similar problem with my son who is 4 yrs younger than my daughter. She was speaking in simple sentences by 11 mons and he was not saying more than a few words by 15 mons, then again, he did not need to talk as his sister would get him whatever he pointed to.....
So we all just began to give him what he wanted and repeat the name of the item at least three times while giving it to him. He eventually caught on. As for the tantrums, all kids have tantrums at one point or another, especially when they are frustrated. Do not over react and just be as patient as possible while trying to figure out what he wants. It is not easy, but it is temporary.

Hi N.,

I also am having the same problem my son is 15 months and as you have been dealing with the tantrums. He does say little words as well, but I do agree with the board they will grow at there own pace. I have learn some things from your question from the broad.I am going to try the sign langage this way we could communicate in some way. :) Good Luck! This is better than nothing I say. :)

Hi N.-
You should have you son evaluated by Early Start. They will come to your house to evaluate your son. If he is eligible, he will receive Speech Therapy.
Hope this Helps-
K.

Hi N.
Trantrum throwing is common among kids who can't talk because it is such a frustrating situation. At 14 months he does not understand why you don't understand. Tell him, over and over that he has to talk grown up talk for you to understand. In the meantime bone up on some sign language which kids do learn to use easily especially if they are frustrated by their lack of verbal skill. Use Signed English not just made up signs.
While doing this don't forget to tell the MD, who probably won't be concerned til he turns 3, but everything he does before that is a plus if at 3 he still isn't talking for whatever reason. Tell, and keep telling his MD.
Since you work outside the home full time, is he in day care? What is the situation there. Day cares all react different to lack of speech. Let me just say I worked special needs til I had my children and then worked day care. In some day cares speech is actually frowned upon, with the constant "quiet" "quiet down now" "no talking" kinds of statement. It would not bother the vast majority but because of his lack of speech you need to be extremely aware of that.
Talking constantly to him telling him what you are doing, even when you think that he can see what you are doing help reinforce speech. For instance "I drink water" "water good" "all gone water" and the like. Reward works best when he does talk. answering what you think he is saying. "You want water" when that is negative "you want milk" when that is negative "you want cookie" even if you knew in the beginning he wants cake, then say please tell me with words because I want to know. When he tries to speak, say "the word I know is cake, say cake, this is cake. If you want me to know what you want you have to call it cake. It takes time and energy to teach a reluctant child to talk but it is so worth it. If he didn't know how to suck the bottle etc, you would have kept trying. I know 2 of my 4 had to be taught to suck theirs. They are all adults today. Keep working at it mom. It is good you are asking the question. Even if everyone says its OK that he is not talking because he isn't 3 yet. Look around! You want to move him toward the majority, and the majority are not pointing, and getting so frustrated they are throwing tantrums. Oh by the way, ignoring tantrums is good. Asking them what they are doing works sometimes. Mostly not letting things get that out of hand by recognizing this could result in a problem so address the issue when I saw that was my way of handling tantrums before they happened.
God bless you and all you do
Since I am old enough to be your mom, I always mention talking to your mom, she has some great fun stories to tell too.
K. -- SAHM married 38 years with 4 kids 37,32, and twins 18(the technique for talking was recommended to me as how to deal with twin language. I simply left out all the twin language referrences)
Oh by the way it worked and they are both in college this year full time.

My son was a late talker, but at 2 and 1/2 never stops talking now! I used some basic signing with him so he could communicate better and the video Baby Babble i believe helped tremendously. It's made by 2 speech pathologists.

Wow N., I think I could have written that request myself! I have a 16 month old son who also only says Mama, Dada and Nana (my mom). Last week he started to say thank you, but I'm probably the only one who understands it. He does a lot of pointing and grunting and throws LOTS of temper tantrums (today I think he set a new record!). I've been told that the tantrums are normal because they don't know how to communicate. My husband recently taught our son to sign for more, but I don't know many other signs.
I haven't been too worried, because I thought that it was normal at this age to have a limited vocabulary. But now that I have read some of your responses I'm starting to panic a little!! I didn't know that Early Intervention was even an option at this age. The dr didn't seem concerned at his 15 mos visit because she knew that he could understand us, even is he couldn't talk. My husband was just asking me if he should be talking more and was saying that he can't wait until he talks more. I told him that once he starts talking, we'll be wishing for some peace & quiet!
I hope that everything works out for both of us! Maybe we should get out boys together and they can see just how silly they look when they throw their temper tantrums! Best of luck to you!

Have you tried teaching him some simple sign language? Being able to communicate "more", "enough", "help" "mad" etc. may help him feel less frustrated. You can also help validate his feelings and communicate them when he can't, "I know your mad that you can't X, let's find something else that you can do."

You can also help him channel his anger by showing him how to stomp his feet when he is mad or have a special pillow he can hit when he is mad.

That kind of thing.

You have to get the book "the happiest toddler on the block". not the happiest infant, which is another book written by the same guy. the happiest toddler essentially deals with *exactly* this issue and has lots of tools on how to deal with it and avoid tantrums altogether. i read it when my son started doing this (around 14 months), i still use it, and it works for me. even if you only read the first couple of chapters (it's a very quick read) it'll work wonders, i promise! and no i don't know the guy or make any money when he sells a book; i've just never read a book that i can apply as easily and effectively.

hi N.;

what you describe is totally normal and you are overly worried way too early. my daughter is 19 months and just started really forming words. my son was around 21 mos before he could put two words together and now he never stops talking, ever; he's 3. tantrums also go w this. please don't get caught up in the 'schedule" of expectations. he will grow out of tantrums and then back into them again! the trrible twos often start at 1 and go on till 4!

J.

SIGN LANGUAGE!!!! Get a baby sign language book and teach him and the family the basics. Say the word and sign the word and when possible show him an object for that word at the same time. For example, say drink, sign drink and then give him a cup with a drink in it. You could even have a drink. It works and you will be surprised at how fast he will learn and use the signs.

My 7yo started talking at 9 months and by 1 year had 40+ words she used all the time. 1 week after her 1st birthday she STOPPED talking completely!!! I freaked out when she didn't start talking again a week later. The Dr. assured me she was fine and don't worry until she turned 2. However in the mean time we needed to comunicate and I was sick of her grunting expecially since she use to talk. I taught her some sign language and it worked wonders. She even came up with some "signs" of her own that we all used and understood. I also taught the grandparents, family and friends the signs she used the most. She didn't start talking until she was 2 with speech therapy. She did catch up and pass the "norms" for her age 9 months later and now I want to know where is the OFF button! :) The speech therapist said she was learning so fast that her brain could not keep up with both the learning and the language and something had to stop for a while. She understood everything and when she did start talking again she knew the words to use.

If you are really concerned that there is a problem see your pediatrician and they can refer you to a speech pathologist. They can easily evaluate your son and see if it is a physical thing making him not talk or a choice or if his brain needs time to catch up (like my daughters did).

The tantrums can be helped with the sign language. It has worked for us and even the 2yo I taught basic signs around 9 months of age to help with the frustation and get her needs. She still uses them and talks a mile a minute!

Once the talking starts you may hope for an OFF button (there isn't one I've looked for one with both my girls!) A.

My oldest son got frustrated when he realized that other children were talking and he couldn't get words across and no one was understanding him and he was older than your son. See if your son can get early intervention and you would want to call and see if the nurse at the pediatrician office can give you a number to call to get early intervention for your son. DON'T give in to him because you will have a real difficult time when he gets older especially during teenage years. You would want to check into that as well. What is it that he's not getting his way? Can you redirect him to something else that could distract him. Do you discipline him by making him know that what he is doing is wrong without spanking because hat is real too early to do. Or do you think he's having behavioral problems? That may need to be addressed. Hope this helps and I will pray that you will receive Wisdom from Jesus to get through this. Any questions or whatever, ask us and we want to help.