15 Mo Old Still Not Sleeping Thru the Night.

Try reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by marc Weissbluth, M.D. Once I followed what was in the book my son started sleeping and napping better. I also read the sleep book by dr. Sears which I do not recommend. Good Luck!

I found that if I left a non leaking sippy cup with water at the bed side where my daughter could get itany time it helped. don't leave any jucie or milk because it can rot his teeth. may be music would help too.

As a mom of 4 girls and 1 boy, I agree the boys are different. It might help to allow him to keep his bedtime bottle and ween him off the rest. Then it will be easier to make that final transition of no bottle at all. When my son was that age, it helped to give him some rice cereal in his bottle before bed. It was runny enough to fit through the nipple or I would make the hole one one nipple a little bigger with a knife or sissors. Then he slept through the night. It was glorious.

I would be pulling my hair out too!!

Have you tried giving him a pacifier instead of a bottle? He needs another form of comfort other than a bottle and sometimes in order to dump one habit you have to replace it with another. Maybe you have been using them but Orajel makes very cool Q-tip dispensers for teething. It is fast acting and you can put it right on the spot where the tooth is trying to break through and not all over your hands. Give him Tylenol about a half hour before bed and the Orajel teething stick right before bed. Letting him cry it out won’t work for teething because no matter how tired they are, or how long they cry for they are still in pain.

As far as weaning him off the bottle you may have to wait till these teeth break through; when you know he is crying only for the bottle, and then be aggressive about saying no bottle and letting him cry. He has learned that if he cries long enough he gets a bottle anyhow. I would also stop feeding a bottle before nap times…now. There is no need to do bottle feedings at this age and it is much easier on the family to let them cry through a nap then through the night. Give him milk in a sippy cup instead. You can still hold him upright and rock him while he drinks it

If you are consistent and firm with your “new rules” then it should only take three days to change the behavior. Apologize to your husband and tell him you need his support in this and are desperate to start sleeping again. He may even have to step in and help. With one of our girls it helped so much when the second or third time getting up with her he went in and told her nigh-nigh and laid her back down. It got to the point where he would go in and before he finished saying nigh-nigh time she would do a dive into her bed and you would not hear another peep out of her. I of course was shocked after spending hours going back and forth! This just proves though they know what they can get away with and with who!!

Best of luck! And sweet dreams soon!

Sleeping through the night is a learned skill. If you answer to his screams you will reinforce the behavior and he will keep doing it. It may be tough but the best thing to do might be to just let him wail it out and get a good set of earplugs. This may sound harsh but he has no nutritional need for milk in the middle of the night. It shouldn't take more than about three or four nights of screaming before he figures out how to sooth himself back to sleep. Once he gets it you will feel much better because he will be a happier kid and you wont be so worried about him. Good luck!

As for the bottles, if there aren't any in the house he can't use them so you could just get rid of them. Give him a sippy cup all the time. He might resist at first but eventually he will get thirsty enough to use it and will forget about the bottles because he hasn't seen one in so long. Try not to let him know it upsets you that he's not drinking from the cup because then it might turn into a manipulative power struggle. Just offer him the cup at every meal and let him decide whether or not to use it.

Stay relaxed and treat it like it's no big deal. If you get intense about it he will too. I hope it all goes well!

I can relate to your experience. My son did not sleep through the night until he was three years old. I couldnt get him off the bottle because his father was not supportive and would always undermine my efforts to take the bottle away. Anyways, it took me three days of no sleep to finally get him off the bottle. I had to let my mom take my youngest daughter so he wouldn't wake her and that was the end of that.

My suggestion is to have someone keep your other child for a few days if you can while you just let him cry his heart out. Maybe that way it won't be as disruptive to the entire family. If you are able to do that, get some industrial strenght ear plugs for both you and your husband or maybe go to sleep with some nice relaxing music on a cd player so you can tune him out. Sounds kind of harsh but it may be what he needs.

He has figured out what it takes to get your attention and he will do it as long as he gets his way. Kids that age are very egocentric and don't care about anything else other than themselves. Its time you start taking care of yourself too.

Just keep trying and hang in there. He can't keep it up forever.

Best of luck.

HI R.,
Three and a half is a common age for "night terrors" which will wake children from even a very sound sleep. The source can be anything -and I'm no expert on that, but I do know that an older child can need a lot of "mother" who spends energy/time/love with their sibling (quite naturally). Also, young children need to feel secure in not only the world around them, but particularly in parental love. Some children need more than others! Perhaps your son needs your undivided love and attention more. For ,any children, if they have had over-stimulation during the day, it comes back and disturbs them during the night. Also, if it is any consolation, my younger daughter did not sleep through the night until she was 4 1/2! I was crazed at the time because my husband was not able to deal with it well - he has sleep issues himself and always had to get up early to go to work, so I was rather alone in that process, I understand how you feel. But she and I both turned out okay :) I wish you well!
J. Birns, Waldorf teacher/educational consultant

Well it sounds like he is strong willed and you are tired and rightfully so.
You must be stronger, check if he needs a diaper change if he does not then check if he is thirsty give him the sippy cup.
Heres the tough part, then put him down and do not enter that room again but, try this on a friday night so your husband and daughter do not lose important sleep. The 1st night he could cry for more than an hour but you must not go in, put a pillow over your head and ask your husband to help you from caving in and you help him, the second night he will cry for less time the third night will be even less, but if you cave in you will have to start all over, it worked for my son, it took no more than 3-4 days. I wish you the best of luck.
T. K

I had similar issue and my son is now 17 mo. Just about 1-2 weeks ago, we started to give him warm milk after dinner or before we start our routine to put him to bed. Warm milk does have that sleepy effect. We get a chance to brush his teeth and not worry about milk in his mouth while he sleeps (which can lead to teeth problems). We play a sleepy time music and put him to bed. I admit, either my husband and I are in the room until he falls asleep (so we do have to work on that next). But after he shuffles around and falls asleep, he then sleeps well on his own thru the night. So far it's only been about 2 times he woke up once at night, but it's more for comfort than for the bottle. But I think it's because the music we leave on low volume, he is comforted and stays asleep all night. So as of the last 1-2 weeks, I'm glad to say we haven't used the bottle and only used staw cups and regular cups for him to drink out of. I still see us in transition mode, but it's working well for getting off the bottle completely and sleeping through the night. Good luck.

keep in mind, he's only 15 months. The goal is to get him off the bottle-not to struggle. Sounds like he's probably anxious about it. You might wanna give him a few more months. Also, they don't all sleep through the night before two years. He could be keying in to your stress with the situation. Crying for an hour is too long. If he's truly tired he wouldn't cry more than 20 minutes. Often when they start waking up again at night they can be going through a growth spurt, but a 15 mo. old should be able to go through the night without eating as long as they are fed well before bed. Anyway, just some thoughts-

Dear R., I hate to say this because I understand your not wanting to give him a bottle. But he is still a baby. Give him his bottle back. Hold him while he takes his bottle and lovingly put him back to bed. Maybe the security will help him.

I absolutely understand your frustration. MANY kids take a long time before they really sleep through the night on a consistent basis. The fact is, a great many adults (myself included) don't sleep through the night. Many just don't remember waking up, but this is part of the physiology of human sleep patterns. What we need to teach our children is #1)not to be scared and #2)to go back to sleep.

Another factor to consider is that ages 15-18 months is frequently a time when children go through a developmental stage of separation anxiety, and they need more reassurance than they have before.

Growing up involves two steps forward and another step back. This is true for sleeping, eating, potty training, you name it. Every child is different - whatever your daughter needed, that was her, not your son. So all those steps forward and back have to be figured out all over again with each child. If that weren't so, then there would have been one really great parenting book written about a million years ago and we'd all still be using it!

As for the bottle - you must make your own choice, but I must say that, although my pediatrician agrees with you, I do not. When my son was about 15 months old, he said 'you should wean him of it.' but he couldn't give me any reason why except "It will be harder to wean him of it later." so I chose to ignore him on that particular point. As it turns out, he was absolutely wrong about it being hard to wean him of it later.

My son, like yours, demanded a bottle *every* night until his sister was born when he was two. I couldn't bear his agonized screaming when I could so easily give him what he needed for comfort (I have never been a CIO mom, although there are times when I have to let my children cry because they want something I can't safely give them - like the option to ride without a car seat!) so when he woke up, I made a bottle of formula, he sucked it down in a few minutes and went happily back to sleep. The whole process was painless and usually took less than 20 minutes. I am not sure what happened when his sister was born, but I think the whole routine of life just changed so much then, and perhaps knowing that he was a big brother helped him grow up just a little bit, so that he just let it go without me even trying to wean him of it. Whatever it was that happened, basically when he was ready to let go of it on his own, he did just that.

My goddaughter hung on to her bottle until she was more than 3. And that girl used it during the day, in public. As sweet as she was with everything else, she was adamant about using her bottle. She is now a bright and successful 19 year old completing her first year of college. She does a fine job drinking out of any glass she needs to, she never sucked her thumb or pacifier and as near as I can tell has not developed any of the dangerous addictive habits so prevalent among teenagers (and adults!)

Ultimately, with *every* parenting choice, you need to ask yourself two things: What am I giving up with this choice? What am I gaining?

If what you lose is worth what you gain, then you can go forward with confidence in your choice, but as a parent, you really need to pick your battles carefully. What do you gain? What does it cost? (That is cost is paid by both you and your child - and possibly others as well)

I've been having some trouble with my 11 month old too. What really worked for me is the No-Cry Sleep Solution where you go to them right a way to comfort them but as soon as they are comforted you put them down so they can fall asleep on their own. If they start crying (which they will) you pick them up, comfort them and then put them down again. You may have to do this many times but if you are consistent with it it will work. I went this route after trying the cry it out method which like for you did not work for me at all. Every night it got worse for over a week until she was terrified of her crib. The No-Cry Sleep Solution is a commitment but it worked. She also gives advice on how to get away from the bottle and breast during the night. Which has been helpful too. One thing that really helped me is that my husband starting going to her to give me a break. What a relief! See if you can get your husband to take over on the weekends so you can get a break. Or, have your mom or sister do it for a while. Even a few days break does wonders. Good Luck!

It sounds like you know what the trouble is, he is upset about this new transition....sometimes you can only work on one thing at a time so maybe you need to pick your battle. If you really want him to transition off the bottle you'll have to support him through the night somehow until he's ok with it (lovey, pacifier, anything help?). otherwise go back to the bottle and get more sleep. We had to go back and forth over some issues with our son. when he was older we would try again and it worked out better. Take care!

Hmmm, my pediatrician said bottle are fine until between 18onths to 2 years, but in the end it is really whatever works best for you. Is he awake because he is hungry, or after the security, or just teething & in tooth pain? For each of these I'd suggest trying to find another 'thing' to soothe his need - but it sounds like you have tried most of them. The only useful advice may be to take a deep breath and realize that it WILL pass - just try to keep your sanity and take one night at a time. I also have a 15.5 month old, who does pretty good with sleeping unless he's sick, but I feel for you!

Hi R.!
I am the mother of 3 boys and 1 girl, youngest now age 5. My youngest was the only one to sleep PERFECTLY through the night at the age of 4 months-9 months. Then, it ALL started....
I was frustrated, as well, but mostly because I couldn't figure out what the problem was. But once I finally "let go" of my frustration, and was simply "ready" for a late night feeding, it all went just fine, and after a month he was sleeping back to normal. Until he turned 4 , of course! :o)
Anyway, be patient, and feed him. At least he's not asking to be sleeping with you...that's much more difficult. It will all be ok, and seems very normal in my opinion.

Good Luck!
N.

Hi R., I'm from a big family too. Try a combo or all of any of these;

*) when you lay him down, lay him down with his head pointed north (best-towards table mtn.) or east (towards the dam)This always worked with my kids.

*) check your evening routine. Is it too busy?

*) try a lightly sweetened (not too much sugar like you can barely tast it at all) porridge malto'meal or rice and milk, that'll keep his tummy warm and full without being too difficult to digest while he's sleeping.

*) 90 min. before you lay him down to sleep, everyone in the family needs to calm down and focus on resting for the night. Make a calm routine, extra-calm and extra-boring, extra-sleepy in other words.

*Giving him stuff or getting frustrated or comparing him will exacerbate the problem and create more tension. Try the tips, they will work. There, there mom, you will get thru this too. My son had colic when he was a baby and I suffered with him. I know it isn't easy but it get's better-then they're teenagers! All the best.

I used to drean feed my child 2 hours after he went to sleep. I always did that before midnight. No dream feeding after misnight. He learned to sleep through the night-- 5 hours. Then we lessened the dream feeds and he was able to sleep through to 7 hours. Got the idea from Tracy Hogg's book "Baby Whisperer". Once you get him off the dream feed, you should be able to wean him off the bottle with a pacifier. Good Luck!

Try reading the Dr. Ferber book on how to get children to sleep through the night. I had to do this with my daughter and it was a difficult two weeks, but it saved our lives in the long run. It will be more difficult with a 15 month old, but he has a treatment plan for that age as well. You definitely need to get rid of the bottle. Good luck :)!

I had the same problem with my son. When he woke in the middle of the night, I gave him a bottle with water. He didn't want it and was mad. It took a couple of nights but it wasn't worth waking up anymore for him. He started sleeping through the night and didn't want a bottle any more!

Letting him cry it out for over an hour will likely just exasperate the issue.

I'd recommend check out the website www.pantley.com/elizabeth - she's the author of the no-cry sleep solution, and we got some really great advice there.

Teething could definitely be a factor. I, personally, cut in a wisdom tooth at the same time my son was getting his molars, and let me tell you - it's no cake walk! It hurts! We used Hylands homeopathic teething tablets, and they helped a lot.

I think your idea of switching him over to the sippy cup is a good one. You'll need to be really consistent though. If you cave in even once, it's basically like starting all over again.

Best of luck to you!

It's interesting that you say that this behavior started when you switched from breast feeding to the bottle. A bottle frequently serves 2 purposes: keeping him from being hungry and providing comfort. What if you gave him a healthy snack right before he goes to bed? Not a bottle, something like cheerios or fruit. And, does he still want the bottle if there's only water in it? If you haven't tried it already, I would start dilluting whatever you're currently putting in the bottle with water until only water remains. I would also tell him, during a calm moment during the day, that it's time for him to stop using he bottle -- he's a big boy now and the bottle is for babies. Tell him he can use a stuffed animal to make him feel better during the night. But keep to your word. If you finally cave in when he screams for the bottle, then he's got you and he knows it. So, try preparing your family for a few bad nights and stick to it. You can also add bribery to the mix if there's some "big boy" toy that he's been yearning for. Big boys don't use bottles. I hate using bribery, but for life's big transitions, there are tradeoffs.

R. C.
After having two and watching others like you Boys can't be compared to the little girls. Your boy still wants the warmth and touch of the comfort it brings him He is only 15 months. Don't try to push it on him It's nothing to worry about
Now if he isn't satisfied with the bottle you might have a little one that is still hungry. I had one like that and i gave him a little cream of wheat and his bottle and he was happy all night.
take care. B.

I had many problems with my daughter too. It took me a long while for her to start sleeping through the night. I don't even remember how it happened, but if finally did!! It sounds like something may be bothering your baby in the middle of the night. Gas maybe? And the teething is SO hard. Have you talked to your pediatrician about it?

My good friends recommended this book to me, which I plan to get and read soon as I'm due with my 3rd baby in September. She got her baby sleeping through the night at 2 1/2 months!!
The Baby Sleep Solution: A Proven Program to Teach Your Baby to Sleep Twelve Hours a Night by Suzy Giordano

And before the birth of my son, I read a book called "Babywise" which was a HUGE help. I got him sleeping through the night at 5 weeks!!! And the nice thing about it, it's never too late!!

Good luck!

My son is 11 months old and has just begun sleeping throught the night this week. I leave a 4 oz. bottle in the crib for him to grab before he is at screaming stage and I don't have to get up! I know it's no PC, but I get to sleep (finally)! He's teething, too, so I think the nipple is soothing when everything else has worn off! Good luck!

I suggest that you let him have the bottle at night for now. It seems to be a comfort for him while he's teething. Comfort is different for each baby, for him it's chewing on the nipple. Teething is no fun and the nasty taste of medicine helps with the physical pain but not the emotional pain that goes along with it. Continue the sippy cup during the day with a softer top and maybe he'll come around but teething is not a time to change. You're right it is very emotional and frustrating for all of you. Give yourself a break for now. Everything will work out in the end. It always has, hasn't it? Your 3 1/2 made it through.

Dr B.

Hi Mom,
May I suggest that your 15 month old is still a baby and needs lots of sucking? Sippie cups don't fulfill that. I would not let a little one scream for over an hour! Way too traumatic...I say, follow the baby's lead...when he's ready to progress, you'll see it. We have a tendency to want to direct everything, and all babies are different...some are ready earlier than others. If you're concerned about dental issues with the bottle, you can use plain water, or warm water which is soothing, or herbal tea which has the benefit of the calming or healing of the herbs. I'm a mom and grandma and postpartum doula, and my advice is to not get too attached to the schedule you create...this is an individual with needs and tendencies unique to him alone. Just love your kids and let them show you what they need! Good luck!

don't push it. I made the mistake of doing that and my daughter took to thumb sucking and then my next daughter started on the thumb sucking too and the second is five and we still can't break her of it. They also have attachment problems because of our choice. I regret my actions now and looking back I can see that it was such a small thing. No two children are alike and they all have different needs, make sure that your child knows that you love him. Being on the bottle a little longer than you want him to isn't a big deal compared to the long term effects that feelings of neglect can cause.

First check with your doctor to be sure he does not have an ear infection. Second, be sure he gets lots of activity in the afternoons and gets worn out. Third, give a snack close to bedtime.

After that, what worked for us was weaning him down. Be sure to catch him as he first starts to wake up so he doesn't get wide awake (we used the baby mointer for this). I just fed him in the crib because the more activity there is (i.e. picking them up), the more they wake up. At 15 mo., if they are on their back they can feed just fine in bed. My 15 mo. old son was inconsolable at night too unless he got a bottle. Tried water instead etc. and it didn't do it. He was in the habit of eating in the middle of the night and wanted to feel full, he wasn't really needing nutrition. I gave him his usual 8 oz. formula for two nights, then 7 oz. for two nights, then 6 oz for two nights, 5 oz. for two nights, 4 oz for two nights, 3 oz for two nights, 2 oz. for two nights and then none. Basically, my son had to feel he finished the bottle himself, he had to suck air before he was satisfied it was gone. He whined sometimes as he got less and less, but he was still fairly sleepy so I could usually rub his back or head and he'd go back to sleep. Then I'd only go in and rub his back or head after that if he needed it. After about two or three weeks he stopped waking up. His tummy had to be reconditioned to not to wake him up at night.
Hope it helps!

Hi R.,
Have you taken him to the doctor for a thorough exam? I went through this once and to my chagrin and horror my son had a double ear infection.

I know that this is traumatic for you and him. If he is healthy and this is developmental, carefully choose your options. Some children with some redirection and loving firmness give up habits easily. Some do not and some need more TLC in the process. I speak from experience as a mother of two teenage boys who are now well adjusted, have good sleep habits and don't take a bottle! He may be needing emotional comfort in the night because of fears or pain and you are his comfort source. He needs to know that you will comfort him in the night. Maybe try holding him and giving him a bottle with water or 1/2 and 1/2. I tried very hard to wean my 15 month old off the bottle with a lot of trauma. What worked for me was a bedtime bottle only (which was removed immediately), that seemed to do the trick and he would sleep mostly through the night and if he did wake he was more interested in me and not screaming for a bottle. When you make changes like that sometimes they are just needing a way to make up the calories. My son finally gave up the bottle on his own when he was two. I made up a story about the Easter Bunny babies needing bottles for there babies and since he was a big boy now maybe he could give them away. This was about the third story, I had already tried Santa Elves babies and the tooth fairy babies, but he wasn't ready yet! This worked for us. I just want you to know that some kids are not easy and we don't want to sacrifice our relationship with our children because we think they should be ready, when in fact they are not. You could get him to stop taking the bottle at night but at what cost to his sense of security and your sense of peace and sleep?
I saw someone on the list someone recommended the book Babywise. This is a controversial book and again stresses that a one size fits all approach to babies and children just doesn't work. What makes one child thrive may make another child fail to thrive.
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm
L.