15 Month Old Hitting and Kicking

First you shouldn't react when he does it, simply finished changing him or when he hits you bring him to time out. Designate either a naughty chair or bench or whatever you have around that you can use. He's old enough to learn that hitting is going to land him in the naughty chair, he may test you by getting out several times, but stay consistant and keep putting him back, he'll catch on. Don't forget to make him say sorry when it's time to get out. By the way he should only be in there for 1 minute to a minute and a half. Set up an egg timer that he can watch while he's sitting. Good luck!!

My son did the same thing....I tried to teach him how to use words or if he's not talking much yet try hand signs to try and tell you if he's mad. It's not easy and I got so frustrated.....my kids are 14 months apart, now they are almost 2 and 3 years old... we went through the whole hitting, biting....I think it can just be a phase they go through....but let him know that it hurts and to make a sad face....good luck.

J.,
This is definitely normal.
First- the kicking. Simple answer- turn him sideways to change him, so that his kicking legs go nowhere.
Second- hitting and kicking hurts! He needs to learn that it hurts you. Make an exaggerated surprised and hurt face, say "Ouch! That hurts Mommy when you hit!" in a stern but calm voice. Then hold his hand in yours and use it to stroke your face gently while telling him to be gentle or easy. He needs to know HOW to touch safely, not just how not to. when he is angry and hitting, stop him from hitting, and tell him "You are so angry! It's ok to be angry, but you need to be safe with your hands. You can...(stomp your feet, hit a pillow, throw cotton balls, tell me you're angry, etc.)" He needs you to teach him A: how he's feeling and B: what to do with it. It sounds like he's frustrated with things- this is a very tough time for kids. They are least able to handle frustrations, and can't always tell you what they need. Consider teaching him some sign language to help him let you know his thoughts. You can check out www.sign2me.com to get more info on signing with hearing preverbal infants.

I really don't know if I have the best advice with this or not. But my first son who is now 4 was extremely violent when he was a toddler. He used to hit me, his daddy, even babies! It was horrible. Now that he is 4 of course he knows that hitting means serious business. I tried everything with him when he was younger and nothing worked until he eventually grew out of it (2-ish). My second son who is now 17 months is very calm and kind. But he does think it's funny when I'm playing on the ground with him to jump up and grab my hair and pull. I have an EXTREMELY sensitive head and it HURTS! The first couple times I yelled "OUCH!" and said no! But he thought that was extremely funny and now when he does it he yells and laughs. So now I am ignoring him and it seems to be doing the trick. He kinda looks at me waiting for my reaction and as hard as it is I don't give him one. So he just moves on. He also thinks it is funny to kick when I am changing his diaper but I am ignoring that too and that behavior seems to be going away also.
Good luck to you and just hang in there!
~T.

I personally don't have any experience in that field however my brother has a 19th month old who does the same thing. The doctor told my brother to ignore the behavior especially where he hits himself. The more he gets a reaction from you the more he's going to do it. Good luck! :)

Boy, does this sound familiar!! I had the same experience with my son for over a year. His tantrums only came on once in a while, but they seemed to come out of nowhere over something small, and they turned into total blowouts. I would have to hold him in time out or put him in his crib and he would scream and cry and hit his head. But, after lots of consistency with the time outs, he has finally come around and, at 3.5, he now has almost no behavior issues, and if we do have to put him in his room, he calms down in a minute or two and it's done and over with. So, hang in there... it'll get better!

Hi J.,

You are not alone! My son, who is 22 months, has done - sometimes still does - the same exact thing. When he's kicking during a diaper change, we've tried a few things. What works best with Cameron is to distract him. He's especially fond of snowglobes, so we have a plastic Curious George one that we'll shake up when changing his diaper. He's concentrating so much on making it snow that he forgets that he didn't want his diaper changed. We also try to make diaper changing fun. We'll take his feet and pretend to eat his toes - going mmmm, yummy toes! After a few minutes of that we ask him if he can eat his own toes. He's so busy grabbing at his own feet - keeping them out of our way - that kicking is not an issue.

As for the hitting, we'll grab his and and tell him no hitting - that it hurts Mommy & Daddy when he hits - in a stern voice and give him a warning that if he does it again, he is going to get a time out. Sometimes that works, other times, he gets the time out. We always explain to him in simple terms, at his level, why he is getting a time out, and tell/show him what is acceptable behavior. As far as the screaming when you try to stop your son from hitting - try to calm him down with breathing techniques. With Cameron I will take very exagerated deep breaths in and out, showing him what I want him to do. He'll eventually calm down and start breathing with me, or sometimes start laughing at me because I've exagerated my breaths so much. After that we'll talk about his behavior.

Just be consisted and show your son that you are in charge, not him. Don't be afraid of him crying - he's getting to the age of the temper tantrum, if he's not already there, where crying is inevitable. Just make sure he's in a safe place where he can't get hurt if he decides to throw himself onto the ground and start kicking and screaming. Sometimes kids just need a couple of minutes to vent. Don't you sometimes wish you could just scream at the top of your lungs. I've actually heard about studies done that have concluded that screaming at the top of your lungs is very successful in stress relief.

Good luck!

My son did the same thing and it took awhile to get him out of it, especially during diaper changes. He actually used to laugh as he kicked me. I tried to ignore. I tried time outs. What worked the best was taking away his favorite train. He tested the boundary a few times and I stuck to my word and took the train away each time. Of course, this caused even more of a tantrum the first few times, but now all I have to do is tell him that I will take the train away and he stops the undesirable behavior. I still give him the lecture that hitting is not okay and that hitting hurts and I make him apologize, because he slips every now and then. (He is almost three now.) I think the trick is to find what works, stick to your word, and not to make the consequences too outrageous. Keep trying - you will find something that works. And as always - praise him when he is a good boy and acts appropriately.