My 18 Month Old Son Has Started Hitting.

Your son doesnt know it hurts when he hits. This is what I have done with my babies, puppies, kittens and ferrets (yes my ferrets, they are really smart)...whenever he hits yelp (OUCH)...loud...then rub the area and say that hurts. He WILL react, so dont laugh. I do the same thing when little ones are pounding on furniture or touching dangerous things, except my yelp is one of shock then.

My son is a bit older (23 months) but what we do when he hits is:
1. Over-react to the pain of hitting "Ow! That hurts Mommy"
2. Sit quietly with him, holding his hands in his lap and slowly count his age in months interjecting "No Hitting" every 5 count or so.
3. Make him say/sign "sorry" (that took awhile, as his vocab grew. I would say "can you say sorry?" first he would just make a sad face, then he started responding with "yeah", now he signs it and occasionally says it.)
4. Hug & kiss, release.

This all takes less than a minute total but he does not like having his hands held at all. When he kicks we hold his feet. It has really helped curb his hitting and kicking. We started it when he was 18 months old and we were doing it 5-10 times a day and now it is maybe 1-3 times a week. We tried time outs and he did not understand what was going on. He would do the time out and get out and do the same behavior again.

We've also spent time teaching him "Nice & Gentle" touch, but we do this at a different time - not when he's mad. We'll touch his face or arms lightly and show him how to do the same to us, or his toys or whatever is nearby. So now when we see him going toward someone in anger we only have to say "Nice & Gentle" and he *usually* will pet them instead of hitting.

Since all kids are different you just have to experiment with all advise you can find see what works for yours.

Good luck

Your son has an attention span of about 15 mins tops. He can't remember things from minute to minute. I'm not saying your son is stupid, this goes for all 18 mo olds. Your son is acting the same as the other 18 mo olds totally. He doesn't have the word capacity to handle his feelings and this is how he reacts to get his point across. You have to say things more then 50 times for him to start to get it. I would remove him from the situation and this is a good time to start introducing disapline. We use to make our son sit in the corner at this age. If he doesn't stay put him back. I once faught with my 2 yr old for 45 mins before he stayed there. I just kept putting him back. If he had stayed it only would have taken 2 mins (1 min for each year of age) but he stayed after 45. This is the age where he starts testing you and his environment. But you need to teach him restrictions. We also bought a good book called "No Hitting" by Karen Katz. All we had to do was pick up that book and he got the point.

Hi R.,
I don't recommend hitting him back (tempting as it might be). Causing him pain by hitting him isn't going to teach him not to hit, because a 1 1/2 year old does not understand that you have feelings, that you feel pain and doesn't get the cause/effect that if he hits you, it hurts you even if it hurts him when you hit him. He can't think the two steps of "If I hit mommy or someone else, she will hit me and it will hurt me."
I'd suggest that when he hits, you remove him from the situation immediately. Put him in a playpen or strap him into a booster seat away from the table, whether he hits you or another child or a pet. You can also take his hand as he's about to do it, and say "NO, you do not hit!" and then immediately take him to that time out area. Even if he doesn't get the idea of "time out" it does become a conditioned response - hit, taken away from playing and attention. Ignore him when he's in the time out area. When you release him after a minute or two, take his hand again and remind him that you don't hit.
Good luck

He's very young but i agree he should be corrected. perhaps taking away a favorite toy or not let him watch TV for a period of time every time you see him hitting would have a stronger impact on his behavior.

My 16 month old started that last month - same thing, frustration and excitement and b/c he just thought it was funny. I remember he really started it after spending the weekend with his older cousin and they were playing around and he was getting a kick out of it b/c his olders cousins reaction was to laugh. He then started doing it during temper tantrums. We realized NO TIME was right for any kind of hitting whether it was playing around or not. It sent mixed messaged so my husband and I just calmly told him in so many words no, hitting is not nice, that hurts and we showed him how to "do nice" which is basically to just gently/lightly touch a persons face or head. Whenever he started hitting we'd basically calmly say no, no, do nice to whoever and he learned it - now he "does nice" instead of hitting and if he starts with the hitting we just remind him of the message and what to do. The hitting has greatly lessened although he will occassionally do it out of excitement and he was doing it again with his cousin this weekend but we stopped it - overall he's gettings to be more of a rough little boy anyway. But I found the stern NO didn't work because I don't feel he understand what he was doing was wrong in anyway (he was 14-15 months old when this started) and the stern NO just got him upset - especially when he was only playing. Its funny now he has to "do nice" to mommy and daddy at the same time and then we do it back to him and if he has to do it to anyone else he STILL has to do it us. It sounds so "perfect - by the book" to just explain it to him and show him but it really did work. My husband and I felt so proud that it was the first real "discipline/learning moment" that we felt we WON the fight on. Hee hee.

I know how you feel!! I run a daycare out of my home and I had a child that was always hitting. Itis really had for a 18 month old to understand why he shouldn't hit. Also it is good that you haven't hit back, because that would really confuse him if you were telling him not to hit while hitting him. One thing that I found effective, although 18 months old might be too young to understand, is thefirst time you tell the child no and pull his hand away. If he continues to hit have him sit on his hands ant tell him that the only way he can play is if he continues to sit on his hands. After a few times of trying to play without his hands he will catch on. this also works well if the child has pockets in his pants, you counld tell him that he has to play with his hands in his pockets. It might sound silly, but it does work. I have also heard of parents making their child play with mittins on (can't use fingers) and worse of all I have heard of parents putting a large long sleeved shirt on and tying a not in the sleeves not allowing the hands out of the shirt. maybe if your son is not able to use his hands, he will learn how to use them the right way. Good Luck!!