16 Yr Old Cousin Wants to Live with Us to Finish High School

If she does really well in school then the smaller school may afford her more opportunities for scholarships or validitorian. The bigger the school, the more the competition.

For the sake of peace within the family, and to avoid problems later (or earlier), I agree with Diane B. that you need to enlist a lawyer to hammer out all the details and make sure that everything is spelled out, in terms of your expectations, her parents expectations, and the legal ramifications.

One question I have is--why does she think that moving to Texas is better for her, and why are her parents in agreement? This is something that bears heavy consideration, since the answer could effect a lot of things, both legally and personally (depending on the "why").

If her parents are expecting her to have room and board at your home, I think it is entirely fair to ask for money to help with her care. However, that should be negotiated (with the lawyer if needed) and put into writing.

And you might want to think ahead to the point where, if she does stay with you and graduates, what happens if she decides to go to a nearby college and wants to continue living with you? Do you still want her parents to help with room & board costs if she lives with you? Or is she on her own for college, and then it's up to you whether she stays for free or pays you rent/groceries/utilities.

Where family is concerned, and there are expectations that have legal repercussions, its better to get a lawyer and make sure all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed, and that the legal questions are answered, and the matter is recorded in writing, so as to avoid problems and hard feelings.

I would suggest having a meeting with the cousin and both her parents...work out everthing in advance.
1) how much $ will they provide
2) will they pay for extras - car, insurance, prom dresses, etc.
3) you will need a gardianship arrangment
4) go over the rules for the cousin - what you expect - (good grades, home by 10, no boys in house, play sports, etc) whatever they are fill in the blanks.

This will be a huge commitment on your part...get everything possible spelled out, talked over and agreed to before this arrangement starts. Maybe then arrange for monthly check in visits/calls to talk over anything that comes up that you had no previously covered.

Communication is going to be the key to making this work.

Yes, you will need to accept legal guardianship in order for her to attend the high school. Definitely seek the assistance of a lawyer to iron out all the details, from residency to insurance to financial support from mom and dad.

You should talk to a custody attorney.

Yes you would need to set up a written support agreement.
Yes you would need to get either temporary power of attorney or guardianship.

You would not have to pay for her schooling. You would register her as a member of your residence. For that you will need her birth certificate, the POA/Guardenship paperwork, and proof of where you live.

I would let the parents know that you are happy to help out yet you will need help in buying her clothes, or other things. I think that they should help out since it is their daughter. You could also discuss with your cousin about maybe getting a part time job so that she can also help out by paying for some things that she needs as well. I think that if her parents are willing then they should help out financially. You might also become a temporary guardian in the process since you will be making her parenting decisions while she is with you. If you get a lawyer this will help give you a contract between you and her parents that will have all the rules that both parties must adhere to. It also takes the guess work out of anything.

Yes, I think you need a lawyer so that you can iron out what decisions you make and what her parents make. There are issues about school reports/access, medical emergencies, financial support, and so on. I don't think she can go on your medical insurance unless you are supporting her, and even so, it might depend on your plan. Why wouldn't her parents support her? Yes, that absolutely must be part of a legal agreement. If she lives with you legally, then she can go to the public school for free, the same as a foster child. But you have to have documented physical custody. You also should have a visitation plan so that everyone understands what's expected. How will she get back to visit her parents? Will they pay? They should, but if they are paying child support, they may balk at this.

This is a huge decision and a huge adjustment, no matter how good her behavior and grades are. Get it all nailed down so there are no misunderstandings and no crises.

My sister did this for awhile. All she needed was power of attorney. I would suggest you sit down with the parents of your cousin and talk about all these details.
Ask them about insurance, monthly stipend for her spending money or child support to you for the added costs. Ask them when they will send you the funds for the senior year expenses.
This sounds like something everyone wants, so just make sure everyone communicates their expectations. Ask them what they expect from you and your cousin as well.
If you need her to help around the house, make sure she understands that up front.
Hope it all goes well.

Take care!

How many years until she finishes high school?

How old are you and your husband?

Do you have children of your own?

If so how will this affect their lives?

I don't think you could put her on your health insurance unless their is a legal guardianship in place. Her parents should be able to keep her insured if they have insurance. If she is on some type of welfare, as long as the proper documents are in order, you and your husband may be able to keep her on some govt. assistance, similar to "foster parents".

Are your cousin's parents able to pay room and board?

Blessings....

Hmmm tough question. I would think that they would continue to carry her on their insurance she would have her own insurance card and they are responsible for her medical bills incase anything happens. They can put you as her legal guardian to sign on things for school and such and that should make it so she can go to the school in your district since she has a permanent residence and you are her legal guardian. They would continue to clam her on their taxes. I would ask for help with food and not call it child support you are making it sound like you are adopting her if that is the case yes a lawyer will need to be involved but if its just her moving to live with you it shouldn't be a huge legal ordeal. Let them know you cannot afford to feed her and if this is going to work out you need help for food and anything else that she would normally require, clothes etc. She is 16 so she could get a part time job to raise the money herself. Also if she were to get a car or anything like that I would have them co-sign on a loan or anything as they would do if she were at home with them.

As long as everyone agrees with the plan, you don't have to do anything legally. As a resident in your home, she's eligible for school. You will need written authorization from her parents to get medical care. She can remain on their insurance. In order for you to put her on your insurance you will need to become legal guardians.

Since you'll need financial assistance, ask for that. If you trust the other family a verbal or written agreement would be sufficient.

If you think there is the possibility of her parents not following thru then having agreements in writing will help guarentee a more smooth time. Except for getting legal guardianship you can make all other arrangements without an attorney. However working with an attorney might ensure a tighter agreement with less chance for misunderstandings.

Many attorneys would give you information during a phone call or short appointment without charge. I think you'd want to talk with a family law attorney for this.

I haven't read all your responses so if I repeat please forgive me. first of all if you decide to do this keep in mind it could go bad, and if it does, be willing to accept all financial responsibility of that choice, without recourse or regret to the parents of your cousin.

set very clear guide lines and enforce them, no if's ands or buts. put it in writing so that it is clear to everyone, (knowing that if she or her parents don't hold up their end of the bargain you will shoulder it all on your own, with no ill feelings) someone below gave some great things to talk about and establish in a contract, I would use that for a guideline. but keep in mind if she doesn't follow the rules, there needs to be clear discipline, spelled out ahead of time, and what the consequences will be, even if it means she has to go home.

best of luck, just be willing to not hold a grudge if it doesn't work out, money can easily become an issue, and you have to be willing, and able, to foot the bill all on your own, to avoid potential conflict.

Yes you will have to get a legal document stating that you are the childs legal gaurdians. No you will not pay extra to the school because you are already a resident and pay taxes. I do not think it is unreasonable to ask for child support - it is their child, not your child. The child should remain on the parent's health insurance, unless you want to figure that into your extra expenses and child support for adding her to yours.

I would strongly recommend AGAINST doing this. My husband and I tried to do the exact same thing with his cousin and it was a total mess. He still owes us THOUSANDS of dollars (he agreed to pay a small rent of $150 to defray additional utilities while he was here and to pay 1/3 of the food costs to include things like detergent, shampoo, toilet paper, etc. We paid his ticket to get out here and to buy him clothes so he could get a part-time job with the understanding he would pay us back.), and he was a total slob to clean up after while he was here. When we finally kicked him out he made us out to be terrible people to everyone. Obviously, your cousin may move in and everything turn out wonderfully. But if she is doing so well where she is now why not just stay there?? If she wants to learn more then take more classes, or take some college courses that will count towards a degree now either on campus or online. Certainly if she does move in then either her parents or herself should be paying you for anything you are providing, and you aren't out of place asking for that. If they do think you ARE out of place then that should send up a huge red flag!!

I think it is wonderful that you are going to do this. Many thousands of people do it all the time. I am a grandparents raising grandchildren. There are hundreds of thousands of us now.

Yes, you must get some type of authority or you cannot even sign this child up for school. In Oklahoma there is a type of limited authority that does not take the legal custody of the parents but gives the caregiver much authority. We had an attorney from OKC come to a meeting and she was talking about all the laws that changed a year ago.

If you can get legal guardianship then you might want to do that. If the parents are willing to go to court and sign away their custody then do it. You'll be able to claim the girl on your taxes that way, put her on your insurance, do anything that a parent would normally do. If you don't have a legal court paper and she gets sick they won't treat her until the parents give permission, or in case of an emergency they'll call a judge and get a court order to treat.

It may be that she can go to court herself and be emancipated. Then she can live wherever she wants and make her own decisions.

She sounds like a lovely young woman.

You can claim her on your taxes, but only if they don't. You might get thousands back.

I think it is weird she wants to move two yrs maybe before she graduates. I can tell you that the Senior yr is expensive think about proms and photos and invitations and such. My mom went to work just to support those extra things my senior yr. I would think support and insurance I would make darn sure the parents provide. I am raising my granddaughter and am the guardian and she is away right now and I still get her support for her needs. I would draw up a contract and have the parents sign it. A business class I took said anything can be a contract but both parties need to understand it. I would put in the end before they sign a clause they this is binding and that they understand before they sign it. I would put all the expense on them. Most kids do not want to leave their friends so that is what is weird to me. I have raised three teens before this one and all my girls have tried drugs and rebelled. This one is getting counseling to deal with her abandoned parents and I think it is helping. Teen girls can be the worse and say things that hurt you for a life time. All I ever did was set rules and also I would sit down and have the girl sign a contract for rules. Such as letting you know where she is and phoning if she is to be late. Curfew limits here it is the law and they can not even be on the front of their homes after curfew. What is she decides to like a boy that can lead her wrong? Do you have to approve of who she goes with? Does she drive? Are you going to have to have a car at your home and she then needs insurance and gas and maybe she wants a job? I would not put any burden on my family for her expenses. Tons to think about. God Bless G. W

What you are talking about is no different that going away to college. About the only real question I see is whether the school will charge her to go there since she is not a resident. For that you would have to contact your school district. I will warn you around here it is cheaper to send your kid to our best private school than to send a kid to a public school outside your district.

So far as the rest goes, just like going to college, they still have to insure her, pay her room and board. You guys are just the keepers of the dorm room, ya know?

Where would she be going to high school? I teach high school in Arlington, and I am just curious. I understand if you don't feel comfortable sharing. I do agree with others about consulting a lawyer. Good luck figuring everything out. :-)