Trust and Wills ......... If You Don't Have One .

Although I recommend a lawyer, it would be better to download one of the free fill-in-the-blank wills online than to have nothing. There is no excuse for not having at least a very basic will.

Klove is correct. If its not stated in a will it will have to go through the courts first and this can be a very lengthy process.

Everyone needs a will, and a basic one is not that expensive. Shop around. I had an atty quote me $1200 for all the docs (will, living will, medical power of attorney, etc), and I had a friend refer me to her atty when I balked at the price (and standardized template that didn't work for me). Her attorney did the will and all other docs for $250. So, prices vary widely.

Besides a will, everyone needs a living will so that their loved ones never have to make that decision alone. Eight years ago today, my family had to agree to remove my dad from the ventilator that kept him alive. Thank God he had a living will to help my mom be strong enough to follow through with the discussions she and my dad had previously had. Yes, she knew his wishes from previous discussions, but it gave her strength to know that he'd believed it enough to sign papers stating that was his wish. If you would want to be maintained on life support, that needs to be stated legally, too. Don't leave these things to chance. Yes, it's an expense, but it's also a responsibility to your kids and family.

This varies between states. In NYS if you do not have a legally identified guardian for your children, they become wards of the state. Your next of kin may be given physical guardianship and can APPLY for legal guardianship, but it is not automatic. There is no guarantee that your children will remain together, nor is there a promise that a family member or friend will "get them".

A letter with a signature will NEVER stand up in court- for anything. There will be a huge mess in the event of your death if you do not allocate your assests and your children to specific individuals. Nothing is "automatic" unless it is in writing, witnessed and notarized.

We have separate paperwork that indicates that our children are to go to one of my sisters. She is an AMAZING mother, but she and her husband are terrible with money. We have a sizable estate, so while she is the best choice to raise our children, my youngest sister is their financial guardian until they are 25 or finish school (whichever occurs first). She makes ALL financial decisions for them because that is what she does for a living and she is quite good at it.

I don't have them in front of me but one of the two documents states who gets the kids. Actually in my case since I am divorced it states that my brother, attorney in fact, will petition the court for custody of my kids if something was to happen to me. We really don't want my ex raising them. :(

Anyway to answer your question they go to next of kin regardless of your wishes and if no one related to you wants them they do become wards of the state. :(

My will, trust, health care directive cost 900 dollars. Sorry but scrape up the money! I would not consider 900 dollars pricey, not when you look at the value of your children, ya know?

Not all states accept guardianship wishes to be within a will. You need to check your state's rules for that. Don't just depend on answers here.

Dawn

A will is so much cheaper to create than a trust. And if you use Quicken Willmaker or some other will making software, it is under $100. I think Suze Orman's website allows you to make one for free.

It's probably not worth taking the risk of *hoping* that your signed letter will suffice. If you already have a trust set up, you should just round out the whole package and put a will together. You should also set up a medical power of attorney in the event that you and/or your husband are incapacitated. Now THAT is a legal nightmare if you don't have one. Even worse than not having a will.

Good luck to you! My husband and I kept dragging our feet with our wills, living revocable trust, and power of attorney paperwork. When we finally hired an attorney to put it all together, I felt SO much better.

My understanding from going through the process here is that children would go to next of kin until things get sorted out. Foster care and social services have enough on their plates that they wouldn't just take children of deceased parents who have competent relatives who will take immediate custody and care of them. It would then take a while for everything to settle and for the family members to become legal guardians, but that would take time even with a will.

Really the problem arise when "next of kin" aren't prepared for or in agreement about who would take the children. In the case of my oldest son and my step-daughter, technically their absentee biological parents are their next of kin and would have first dibs on custody, not my husband or me. With the children we have together, if both my husband and I passed away without a will it would be quite a fight over whether or not they went with one of my sisters or a set of grandparents.

Without a will and/or trust, there is no documentation of who the "guardianship of choice" is supposed to be. Anyone can forge a letter...for something to stand up in court it would at least need to be notarized and even that is questionable. When I set things up for my son when I was a single mother, my attorney recommended a video statement of my wish to have my son NOT go to his absentee birth father and my trust included $50K for my parents to mount a custody battle if needed - this was on top of a will and trust.

We used legalzoom.com and it was very affordable.

For something affordable and legally binding, check out

http://www.legalzoom.com/index_v1_a.html

This site is designed by lawyers to help people come up with their own legal documents. They have a bunch of documents available including wills.

The price for a will starts at $69 dollars and you can get legal support.

This may be a great place to start and just get something set up until you can afford a lawyer. It IS binding binding, though, so the state will honor it.