17 Mo. Old with Bad Nap Habits

It's going to take some time and she's going to be going thru a big adjustment sharing her momma, so be prepared for some very sleepless days. Go to build a bear or another store and let her pick out a teddy bear or other stuffed animal to be her new snuggle buddy. If you go to Build a Bear, let her pick out the pj's or blanket to go with it. Now, when you get home, the only place the snuggle buddy can sleep with her is in her crib. You may have to rock her to sleep before you put her there, but that is a first step. Easy and convienent are not words used to describe parenting, so regardless of what you want, this is reality. Also when the new baby comes, you're still going to need to spend that kind of time with your toddler. Now that you have her sleeping in her crib with her snuggle buddy, you can start the self-napping part. This is where you put her down and while she's snuggling up to her bear under their blanket, read a story or sing a song. It's quiet time. You can use this time to nurse/feed the new baby before you put the baby to sleep in the bassinet. It's a good idea to keep the noise level normal with the new baby so she becomes accustomed to the sounds, she won't be startled by the ordinary sounds of living, she'll learn to sleep thru the household noises. As time goes on, your big girl will learn to self soothe and go to sleep in a quiet room. You will be crunched for time for the next 2-3 years, but it will be a wonderful time for all 4 of you!!! Congrats!!!

Hi J.,
I have a similar situation. My son is also use to be rocked for nap and we are expection number three in a couple of weeks. I was having a hard time holding my son long enough for him to fall asleep, so I started rock him for a few minutes and then laying with him on our bed until he falls asleep. I know you would like your daughter to fall asleep in her crib, but unless you want to listen to her cry that may not happen. I would suggest picking a regular time that works well for your family and try rocking for a little while until she is almost asleep and then lay with her for a little while. This would at least establish a nap time routine and begin to help her fall alseep without being held. Singing has always worked well with my kids too. Good luck.

I was in the same situation when I was pregnant with my second. My son would only nap if in the stroller or in the car or by being rocked in my arms. We finally had to get over our fear of hearing and seeing him cry and just go for it. We tried a method in the Baby Whisperer book. We put him in his crib and everytime he stood up we would lay him back down. It was brutal for us. I don't know if your back can handle it, but it worked. Eventually he went to sleep. My son was 23 months old when my daughter was born. He was able to crawl out of his crib so soon after her birth I stopped fighting him on the nap and just started putting him to bed earlier. I felt it was more important for the baby to sleep and he was disrupting her nap with his crying.Your daughter is too young to give up her nap yet so I would put some effort into it. Start now and hopefully she will at least learn to spend some quiet time in her bed without you having to be there. Get tough. You are going to be too busy with the baby to rock her to sleep every time. Another option is to put the baby down for a nap and then attend to your daughters needs. Good luck!

Replace snuggling with something fun. My girl fell asleep on me frequently but I knew that couldn't happen with a new one. What usually works for us is to watch 1/2 hr show like Berenstain Bears and I tell her naptime is after bears. Then I lay her in her bed, tuck her in similar to bedtime but much shorter. It doesn't work everytime because sometimes she is too wide awake. It does give me time to nurse the baby and get him calm so I can give her a few minutes before naptime. If the baby is sleeping we snuggle while she watches tv.

First decide when you want her to nap, preferably in the afternoon at her age, and hopefully she has a "blankey". If not, get her one. That will help. And always go to sleep at the same time from now on.

She needs to sleep in her own crib by herself. She needs help in learning to do this in baby steps. Put her in the crib for her nap, blanky included, sit by the crib and pat or rub her back until she is asleep. Slowly move away every day until she can sleep by herself.

Sounds easy, hard to do on both parties. It will probably take a month for her to learn this new pattern and then the baby will come and upset her new pattern.

Don't be surprised if she reverts. Just start again. Hard to do.

Good luck.

I'll give you my two best secrets, J.- and I PROMISE - you can do this.
First--- you and your husband start talking about how
''' when little girl gets her new ( blanket, stuffed toy
---any new little item ) she will start sleeping
for naps and night time in her bed -''' - just chat
about it between the two of you- no ''' oh, dear
do you think it will work?''' - just''' this will
work- and if she cries - she'll work it out'''

Second - buy her a little trifle- a new little blankie
or a new little stuffed toy and announce- '''now you
CAN''' - and do it- .

( will she fuss??? quite likely--- will she get over it??
ABSOLUTELY!! --- be strong- do NOT waver - or you have to
go back and start ALL over again- once you've lived through the first night- why would you put her through that again??? -- P.S. - with baby #2 -- let them sleep without your body most of the time--

Blessings,
J.

My kids are 18 months apart and the older one was the same way. I worked really hard for months to get her to nap and go to bed easier with no luck. When my second was born he doesn't want to be snuggled to sleep from day 1. When he is tired he wants to bne laid down to do it by him self. So I still have time to snuggle my first. So i try to remember they will only want these snuggles when they are little and I will miss it as they grow up. And it will all work out in the end.

Good Luck!

You need to switch up your routine. You already know that. Start now, so when the baby comes the transition can go somewhat smoother.

Set a time for nap time, stick with it. Does she know you have a baby in your tummy? Start explaining that mommys tummy hurts right now(or something you think she will understand), can you please lay on the couch or bed for a few minutes & we can read/watch a movie/tv...I dunno something like that. Read her books, watch tv/movie that will be boring to her, play soothing or classical music.

OH OH...tell her the baby in your tummy needs to rest/take a nap and could she help you rest, so the baby could rest to. Make her feel like she is being helpful and a part of getting ready for the new baby.

Why does anything have to change? I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing now. You said things are working fine, so go with it. I know there will be a new baby soon, but you'll still have time for the older one. You said she is not on a schedule anyway, so it doesn't matter. Why can't everyone nap together? Life will find its rhythm. Maybe once the baby is asleep, you can still rock the other one to sleep. She is still a baby too. (I know many people with family beds with 1, 2, or 3 kids sleeping with them and it works!)

Follow your heart. I just wanted to give you some positive advice and say that you do not have to "train" your child to do anything. Listen to her cues, you know what she needs.