17 Month Old Acting Completly Diffrent

My daughter started acting similar to this around 17 months, and I started putting her in timeouts for about 1 1/2 minutes (Supernanny method) and it actually worked really well. If she threw something we just took it away also and she would have a fit, but she learned that M. and daddy don't give in. She is now 23 months old and rarely has tantrums anymore. She is now able to talk really well so she whines more than cries. I agree that the 1/2 way point between birthdays may be the toughest. Just be consistent and don't give in and they will realize you mean business.

Are you in a studio with three children and your husband? Even if it's just you and your son, that sounds like he may feel a bit cramped at his age. Maybe you could try getting him out for walks, or to a park for more exercise several times a day. Try to figure out what is triggering his actions and be ready to do something interesting to prevent it before he gets to that point.
For times when he is acting out, have a place other than his crib for him to sit until he gets control. It needs to be a spot that he can physically leave, but you train him to remain either until you give him permission, or as he gains more control over himself, you can tell him he can get up when he has finished his acting out. We have a space that we call our "fit" or "tantrum" corner. Do your best to be in control and matter of fact as you put or send him to that spot. If you show anger or frustration, it will only make it worse and prolong the tantrum.

Sounds like he is testing boundaries (totally normal for his age). Try ignoring bad behavior, and in the case of throwing his cup, take it away/remove the opportunity/hold him still and say no firmly, but don't look at him or give him any extra attention. Same for biting, hitting, or anything else.

But maybe--is he getting enough sleep? I know you say he will do this even after a nap, but whenever my little one doesn't get enough rest, he becomes a little monster (normally very sweet and lovey). At this age, they should be getting 1-2 naps of about 1 1/2 hours and going to bed around 6:30 PM, waking up around 6-7 AM.

Also pay attention to what you are feeding him. In addition to the usual culprits of sugar and caffeine, there have been some findings about food coloring causing crazy behavior. Even if he is just eating lots of carbs on their own, he might be having sugar crashes. Try to give him mini meals with a fat, protein, and carb (snack for mine is often cheese and crackers or cheese and fruit, or yogurt). Aim for 3 meals plus 2 snacks.

If sleep and diet don't fix it, read Raising Your Spirited Child. It may be that he is feeding off your stress in a very bad feedback loop. Or that he is over stimulated.

Good luck. Don't worry, this is a totally normal problem and you will definitely find a solution. It will just take a little patience.

Hi B.,

Well, I'm so sorry, but it totally sounds normal behavior for a 17 month old. The trick is to be an even better mother to figure out how to "prevent" the tempers that flare. I've learned that at this age, it doesn't take much to "set them off". Maybe a toy isn't working perfectly, or someone accidentally "moved" something. It could be anything. Living in a home without much room to roam could be adding to the frustration. But, we all have to do what we have to do :o)

I would take a look at his schedule. Is it consistent? Does he nap around the same time each day? If not, it's time for some consistency in his little life. This is the age where it begins to matter and make a difference for them......and in the end, you too :o) If your toddler is happy, then everyone will be happy.

The hitting and kicking should not be tolerated, but the tantrum is normal, just beginning to qualify to being in the category of the "terrible two's".

Focus on your patience, a schedule with physical activity, and lots of routine each day. You need you do the same thing at the same time each day. Your answer could be as simple as him not getting enough sleep :O)

Good luck, B..

~N. :O)

He simply can't communicate clearly and is most likely frustrated. A really good DVD and concept is "Happiest Toddler on the Block", just like the Baby version, but for this age range by Dr Karp. It helps you find a way that he can understand to communicate better. He compares them to little cavemen, which is funny but somewhat true in that they act on emotion. You can get this at Borders or online.

Good luck, like all of their phasese, this too shall pass. Hang in there!
S

http://www.thehappiestbaby.com/excerpts.html

Kids seem to change near their 1/2 birthdays (1 1/2, 2 1/2, ect.) My son has a temper on him and will kick, scream and bite when he doesn't get his way (he's about 21 mos now). If he's kicking and screaming, I let him have his tantrum. If he tries to bite, I get down to his level and calmly tell him (no yelling) not to bite. I try to avoid his crib because I don't want him to associate his bed with any type of punishment. I do strap him into his high chair. Another cause might be an ear infection. Both my boys had ear infections and seemed really grumpy and moody. I had no clue, neither complained or touched thier ears. Even when I asked my 3.5 yo if his ears hurt, he said no, but the doctor said his was so advanced he need more than the regular antibiotics!!!! It's worth a trip to your doc (or you can buy an ear prob specifically for detecting ear infections).

I think he sounds normal! I wouldn't worry about vaccines. Why? Because both of my kids did this. Think about it. He probably just learned that when he holds something in his hand, moves his arm back, throws it forward and lets go, things will FLY! That is terribly exciting to someone that was never able to do that. Same with kicking. It takes balance to be able to stand on one foot and kick. The good news is he's ahead of the game as far as physical activities! The bad news is you have to teach him what is appropriate (no hitting people, no throwing things inside, etc). With our kids we tell them "hands down" when it looks like they are going to throw or hit. It takes a LOT of patience and vigilance on your part because he doesn't know any better! Also, I do have an autistic son. He started showing symptoms at 3 years. From your description, I'd say he is trying to assert his independence and is having fun testing out his new skills. He'll grow out of it eventually with some coaching from you and daddy. Good luck!

http://www.chefwalton.com

Is something different in the home? Is he going through anything new? A lot of time when kids act out it is because something is different or something is not rights. Acting out is a also a sign of frusteration. Kids at that age do not know how to let you know something is wrong so they act out by banging their heads, hitting, throwing things. Instead of putting him in his crib, why not get down to his level and talk to him. If putting him in his crib upsets him more I wonder if he wants attention. It really is a stage he is going through, and it will pass, you just have to not lose your cool and stay calm and in control. Good luck.

Could just be the terrible twos. Best to get a handle on it now. The child does not need to in anohter room when your are punishing bad behavior. BUt you should not put him in his crib. Otherwise he will identify it with being naughty, he may not want to sleep. Get a small piece of rug and use it for his naught rug. Place him on everytime (and I mean everytime) he behaves badly. No more then two minutes. Each time he gets, up you gently but firmly put him back down and the clock starts ticking. When he is done with the hissy fit, explain why he is there and tell him you love after he apologises.........I swear it works.

That seems really normal for him being both 17 months old and a boy. Does he use his words/is he able to communicate? Some people think baby signs work great because it gives a child who does not use spoken language confidently yet, but who has language processes working and motor skills, the ability to communicate their ideas better. Go to the library and pick up some books on baby signs and maybe a video to learn some basic ones like "please", "Thank you" and "sorry" as well as some like "toy", "juice", or "milk" and practice with your kid. It's fun.

My daughter learned the sign for "more", and used it for "please", which was super cute. But that was the only sign that stuck because soon after she was chatting up a storm.

I also used time outs. Please note they are not supposed to be punishment, they are supposed to be "Sit down here and cool your jets and come out when you are in control" Supernanny does make it work, but don't expect the exact same response. My kid screamed, went into time out for 10 seconds, and you could hear her breathing change and she would peek out at us and we would say "are you in control?" and when she nodded, we held out our arms and she would run to us, calm and happy again. It's not about breaking their spirit, it's about letting them have some calm time. Our daycare calls it "missing out" not "time out" and the kids have to sit and watch the activities from a quiet corner until the teacher lets them back into the group. I personally don't like that, but I understand they have 15 kids and I have one to deal with.

Sometimes they just need to freak out a little. But that doesn't mean their moms have no tools to intervene!

Unfortunately, this behavior is normal. You are starting into his "terrible twos", which means that it is time for discipline. I suggest that you read the Love and Logic book for toddlers.

Also, if you haven't already, you may want to teach him some basic sign langauge as part of the frustration at this age is that they want to communicate, but don't have words. Toddlers who have a sign vocabulary tend to be a little more mellow because they can communicate their wants and needs.

Wishing you luck and much patience!!

This happened with my daughter.
She and I were head to head. I did not want her to build a pattern of responding that way. So I was introduced to Danny Silk and his Loving on Purpose Dvd's.
They were wonderful. My toddler who was "not fun" at the table had a choice. Do you want to be fun and have dinner with us, or do you want to go to the corner? When you are fun you can be with us. we like it when you are with us.

Does he get lots of physical attention? Next time he does this, instead of putting him in his crib, try giving him a ton of attention for 10 minutes. Hold him tight, kiss him all over, laugh, throw him around -- make sure the attention is VERY physical (and loving). Try this one time, for 10 minutes, and see if he calms down. I bet it works. If it works, let me know. If not, try some of the other moms' advice. I wouldn't worry about vaccines, either.