19-Month-old Is Throwing Food on Floor and Screaming

Have you tried just ignoring it? My 13 mo old does that and it is very frustrating but I do find that reverse psyc does help, sometimes!!

I also sometimes will say "Oh, you don't want it? (with a smile and nice voice) and then take a bite and say "yumm, I'll eat it then." Often, he'll watch me for several minutes then want it back to finish his meal.

Alright if this does not work I dont know what will. you know the babe throws things, heat the bowl,plate, utensils so the babe cannot touch it or grab it to be able to touch it and the babe will think it is bad. but remember not too hot because babes safety first!

All great responses!! It's true. You're child will keep doing it as long as you respond. I took everything away when my kids did that. They learned real quick that if it went on the floor, they didn't get it back. I also taught my kids sign language so that I knew what they wanted. "Please" "more" "all done" are great starters. They could sign these at about 6 months. It really helps!!
Good luck!

It has been my experience that the more you resist a 19 month old from expressing his or her feelings the more intense the behavior. He could be reacting to the amount of time that his new sibling demands as well. The best way to assure him is to be calm and non-reactive to his behavior. You might talk to your husband about taking over baby duties in the evening if that is an option so you can spend some quiet time, with just him alone, during the day or early evening. That also might help. He is exhibiting this behavior for a couple of reasons. One, he can. Secondly, something may be bothering him and this is his only way to express his discontent. It is not wrong or right, it simply is what is happening. Motherhood is challenging but your role and how you respond to life will be the greatest example and gift you give to your children. I always tell my parents that they are not raising a child, they are shaping a person. Don't take it personally, just find a place of strength and compassion, listen to your intuition, try to get some rest for yourself, and love him through strength, compassion and discipline.

Hope this helps.

C.

About me:

I am a mother of four children ranging in ages from 23 to 36. I am self-educated in nutrition and currently represent a 28 year old health and wellness company that distributes pure, safe, and beneficial products internationally. Our focus is broad based and includes inner and outer health (skin care, hormone balancing, weight management, and supplementation with whole food vitamins – for children to mature individuals).

I am also the author of “Diamond Moms, A Mother’s Guide to Raising a Baseball Player” available on Amazon. While it educates mothers about the sport, it is also a book on parenting and the importance of being a strong, disciplined, and loving mother. Don’t ever leave yourself out of the picture!!

Good Morning Lynne-
Isn't it amazing on how our young ones always keeps us guessing?
When my 23 month old boy throws a fit, I usually just ignore him like the other mom. But when it comes to the food throwing, I take everything off his tray and say its not ok. We do not play with food or drinks. I am trying to teach him respect for the floor and chairs around...
I hope it helps...
Good Luck !

My son did this too, he is now 21 months. I asked some friends and his doctor and what they told me worked. When he threw his food on the floor, I took him out of his high chair and took the food away. Since he was playing with the food and not eating it, he was done eating. It took a few times, but I promise you, if you are consistant, it works. Also, just take the food away and put him on the floor. Don't talk about what happened, just do it, as actions speak louder than words. He will figure out that he throws food, he doesn't get it. I would also do the same thing with the toy, if he throws it, take it. He will get mad, but just ignore him and it will stop. I promise he won't starve and you will be thankful in the end if you stick with it. Good luck!

Is it possible that your 19 month old is getting his/her i-teeth in? Or has a sore throat? My 17 month old has thrown these fits before and it was because eating was frustrating for her because it hurt, as she was teething and also when she had tonsillitis.

Hi Lynne,

I am a mother of four children, two adults and two elementary age kids. My youngest, a girl would scream in her high chair. (She didn't throw that much food off, but my oldest did.) I found that when she was screaming it was because she was frustrated or done and just wanted out. I believe that she was screaming for attention and just wanting someone to help her...if it was for us to get her out, give her more food, or just pay attention to her. The food throwing issues also to me is an attention getting tactic. If a child figures out that you will talk/ scold/ or just plain respond to these types of behaviors, they will continue to do it if they want your attention. Sometimes though, the food throwing is just a science experiment...look how far I can throw this food or look what it does when it hits the window. Oh and bonus is what mommy does when I do it.

An approach you might try would be to ignore the behavior or just simply ask the child to stop throwing food. If the child continues, then say, "We dont throw food." Then remove them from their high chair and don't let them eat for a little while. No reason to go in to any long expalnations...the child will only hear blah, blah, blah.

Then try letting them eat.again in 15-20 minutes. And they will learn pretty quickly that we dont throw food or else we are done eating. My guess is that it will only take your child a few times of being taken out of the chair and food removed from them to get things figured out.

Anther idea would be to be sure to put a piece of heavy plastic under the high chair so you dont need to mop your floor all the time. You can just tak the plastic outside and shake off the food...no big mopping productions.

Lastly, continue to be patient....remember when they are screaming, it is because they need/want your attention. Sometimes too, kids get really frustrated right before they are learning to do something new (ie walking, crawling, talking...maybe your little one is frustrated cuz they cant tell you what it is that they need.)

Good luck
T.

When our son (he's 2) starts misbehaving at dinner, we take the utensils or plates, whatever is away. We explain it's not ok and then we try and ignore the tantrum. It seems to work...over all, he's pretty well behaved at the table.

My son (23 mo) threw food on the floor and still does sometimes. The thing that has really worked for us is to make the punishment fit the crime...he must pick up any food he tosses after the meal. At first it took forever to get him to do it, he would run away etc., but we stayed firm and calm (you know very matter-of-fact) and would repeat, "no play, clean first". He eventually got the idea and now even if something falls off his tray or the table on accident he says, "pick it up" and he will. Also, we've started giving him time-outs for such things as throwing tantrums. We set a timer for 1 minute (since he's 1...it'll go up to 2 min when he's 2 etc.) and he must sit for the entire minute. So now if he throws a tantrum or something I can say, "do you want a timeout?" and he doesn't so usually he'll stop. All this has taken a lot of training and much much patience, but I believe it is beginning and will continue to pay off. I have a 6 month old also, so I really sympathize with you with your kids being soo close in age...hang in there, we will survive!

My kids are well beyond that stage, but what worked is what my pediatrician told me to do. Your 19 month-old is starting to push his boundaries. When the inappropriate behavior starts, sit him down in a time out area for 1 minute for each year of age (1.5 to 2 minutes for your son). The time out area needs to be a neutral zone--not his room. It isn't a long time, but it is a time out from what they were doing and a way to let them know that it is not acceptable. Don't belittle him or yell at him, just calmly tell him, "No, you may not do that. Don't throw food/you may not scream/That is not being good, etc." And, then put him on a time out and let him know when he's done that he may go back and sit in the high chair and eat. It may take a while before he "gets" it. But he's pushing you to see how far he can get. That's the age it ALL starts. My kids seemed to start right at the Terrible Two's, but your child may be just ahead of the curve! Good luck.

Great responses !!

Except I just need to point out that our Nannies do not do this at 19 months
and not for food / meal time frustrations!

The Super Nanny show teaches a lot of good. However she is called in when all else has failed!!!

Time out like that is a technique for older children than 19 months and when positive reinforcement is failing. Always do that first as described ny Moms below, and do it consistently over time.

Good Luck!

My daughter's daycare recently had a workshop for parents on tantrums and discipline. The table habits came up with another parent and their comments made a lot of sense to me. They serve all of their meals family style. The children at your son's age are now serving themselves as little or as much as they care to eat. They feel they are in control and love to make decisions for themselves. As the adult, who places the food in front of them, you choose what you offer. They also mentioned that everyone should be offered all the food on the table. In other words, no food should be off limits. As they get a bit older and able to communicate with words a little better, then you can have foods for you and your husband that maybe they can't have. I asked my husband not to drink an alcoholic beverage like wine or beer in front of my daugther, during a time when she wants to share what he is having. Now we drink water or lemonade with dinner and our daughter doesn't feel left out. Good luck, it may take some time.

i have a 20 month old that does the same thing. i found that when she is over at her grandparents house all she has to do is throw her fit like screaming or whatever and they give her what she wants and when she comes back home she does the same thing and finds out she doesn't get what she wants i just let her scream and ignore her and what she's doing and eventually she will stop. so i guess my best suggeston is for you is to let him scream and try and not let it bother you and when he throws his food down tell him that's all he gets he don't get no more and take him out of his chair and also try and redirect him at it.

Give a warning and take away the food, utensils, etc. If it happens again when you give it back, take it away permanently and say that mealtime is over. Try again in 30 minutes or whatever time frame you feel is best. If mealtime is just a game, your child is not really hungry. Try to nip this in the bud asap. My twin boys are nearly 3 and it started harmless enough when they were about your child's age, but gradually escalated to where we had to implement this technique. For the screaming, I told them they had to use their inside voice or else they would get "hot sauce". I only had to use the hot sauce once. Good luck!

Sounds like his temper tantrums are right on time, developmentally speaking. Your little one is starting to know that he has opinions, and that they're different from yours. He's also testing to see what you'll do. And on top of this, it's his science experiment -- what happens when I drop this? Oh, cool! But it's really annoying, I know!

Whatever you do, don't do what he wants when he's throwing a tantrum. This will teach him that tantrums work, and he'll keep it up. The best remedy is to remove your attention from him during these times. (Your attention is what he wants, after all.) It can be hard when he's creating a mess, but it's what needs to happen.

Put some covering over the carpet so that he can't hurt it. Anything that hits the floor doesn't get returned to him. (No child ever starved from missing one meal. BTW, no snacks in between meals -- if he throws his food on the floor he learns that he'll go hungry. When he's really hungry he'll eat rather than throw his food away.) Quietly take away everything that's not being treated well (dishes, etc.), and try not to clean up until he's no longer watching (watching you being angry/annoyed and cleaning may be part of the fun -- look what I can make mommy do!).

Here's the hard part. Don't get upset. Negative attention is still attention. You can tell him, "no throwing food/bowls/forks" and then walk away to the sink. If it continues, take him away from the meal area, repeating "no throwing ..." as you deposit him in the pack-n-play (or other safe place) and then walk away from him a short distance.

It takes a short while, but it worked with DS2. Mostly <grin>.

Good luck.

I have always tried to respond to my kids with a verbal response about a positive behavior. So, for example, when my daughter used to stand on a chair, I would say "chairs are for sitting". I would try to avoid saying "don't stand on the chair". So maybe try "food is for eating". Try to be unemotional, state it as a fact rather than emotional reaction to your child's inappropriate behavior. It takes a while, but it really works. Good luck!

Hi Lynne,
I am the mom of 3 grown children and 4 grown step children. I have 3 grandkids. I taught preschool for 25 + years and am now a home day care provider. It has been my experience that screaming is an attention getting behavior. Unfortunately, so is throwing things.
Aside from being extremely annoying, screaming gets our attention immediately and the child "wins" so to speak.
You sound like you are one busy mommy! Wow!
I am thinking that your 19 month old little guy might be trying to gain attention from you. He is used to being the "Top Dog" and now has to get used to a new pecking order.
He is not that far from the infant stage himself. (California Satate Licensing says a child is considered an infant in home child care until their 2nd birthday.)
I feel for you and can only make suggestions here that you talk to him about what you are doing, remove him from the high chair when he is done eating. (As soon as he throws food, he's done.) If he has only taken one bite, he's done.
I am not telling you to deprive your child of food. I am saying, if he throws his food, he is done eating. Take him out of the high chair and tell him, "Oh! I see you are finished. We do not throw our food, we eat our food." Give him 2 minutes...I mean 2 minutes...then say, "Are you ready to finish eating?" He is learning all the social rules so you will have to do this a few times, maybe several.
Also, be sure you are not using the high chair to corral his inquisitive nature. He actually may be feeling very confined and left out of whatever you are doing with the baby.
I know it is hard to balance your time between little blessings but you can do it!
The screaming is tough. I am working on changing that behavior with one of my 2 year olds right now.
She screams and cries if she falls in the grass or doesn't get her way. She is getting this behavior reinforced somewhere so I am working on getting her to stop. She has to go sit down to relax (not time out) and take a breath. We do this together. I ask, her to stop and think if she is hurt.
Usually she is just angry. I then encourage her to "use her words" I do not understand screaming.She is getting better at calming more quickly and I am giving her a little vocabulary too.
You could say to your son, "Mommy doesn't understand scream talk. It hurts my ears." Then have him show or tell you what he wants.
Sometimes my little one says, "hold you". I say, "Do you want me to hold you?" She will say or nod yes and I do.
Maybe your little boy just needs a snuggle like the baby and some reassurance he is important, too.
I hope this helps.
Please know you are not alone! Lots of toddlers do this!
Best to you,
C.

Lynne,

I have had a son who did the same thing. He would throw himself on the floor and bang his head while he is screaming. Does your child talk yet? if not, this is his way of trying to communicate. I would suggest that you take him to a specialist and get his hearing tested. This is also a good idea if they have had many ear infections.

The reason I am saying this, is, if he has a hearing problem, there is a good chance that he is not able to communicate correctly. Get an easy book on sign language also. Children this age can use the hand signals to tell you if they want something to eat, drink, to be picked up, etc. It has helped my son tremendously.

Dear lynne;
have you ever watch the nanny sho? You have to designate a corner in your house for time out anytime your child do this you have to take him to the time out corner, you can put a chair for him to sit down if he get up out of the corner you have to keep taking him back. You have to let him know who is in charge. Do not give in in to his demands i did this in the past when my childrens were little. It is not easy but if you have to put him in that time out corner 15 or 20 times he will know that what he is doing is not acceptable.
All kids like to try the parents and see how much we let them get away with. Good luck. Let me know the results if you need to talk contact me at ____@____.com

Anna L.

Oh my heart goes out to you, you have your hands full. Two of my daughters are 21 months apart, not as close as yours but a challenge.

My oldest daughter was a good eater and then all of a sudden she started spewing apicots and peas. She would pitch a huge fit. Years later we discovered she was allergic to them. She knew something I didn't. I would pay close attention to see if it is the same foods or not. Maybe not, but just a mention.

My next suggestions is to suggest not putting food on the tray. Put one or two bites and or help feed him. The new baby may be the trigger, he may be trying to get your individual attention in anyway he can. Babies are limited with their communication and they'll do what they can to get yours. Start at the beginning and see if giving him more attention during the feeding time eliminates the tantrums.
Let us know what happens...

When my children were in high chairs, if something was thrown (hey, it happens) then that item was not returned. Throw cups? Bye cup! Throw food? Bye food! etc. They are quick, they learn to manipulate from an early age. Out grace them and out smart them.

totally ignore him when he is acting that way. Praise him when he puts food in his mouth or does other good stuff. He will see that he gets no attention and eventually stop. Also, if you want to try a chair that connects directly to the table, it might help. Also, you have all the power in the world to distract him. Ask if he saw the birdie fly by or turn on music and sing with him. Good luck.

He knows that if he throws the food and utensils on the floor you will pick them up. If he has eaten some food, when he has thrown everything off I would just say happily "All done!" He will figure out that it is not a game and if he wants to eat he can't throw everything around. At this age they figure it out really fast! I'm not saying starve him. Make sure he eats something, it just might not be in the highchair where he is doing this.This way your showing him that this behavior is showing you that he is finished and doesn't want to eat anymore.
Good luck!

Challenge: 19-month-old is throwing food on floor and screaming

It sounds like you have been tagged. What I mean is that you have responded to the call and your child has your number. When he rings you answer. Unfortunately you will not like this solution. It’s simple to say but difficult to apply. You probably have an above average smart kid! You can steer him or her with love and kindness. You have been trapped but now it’s time to take back the steering wheel!

Have you heard of the word ENABLING? Enabling simply put is defined as unknowingly supporting a negative behavior. The child’s behavior gets you to pay attention. And obviously you do it do quite well and that why the child just continues to ring your bell again and again. Consider that the parent role is reversed. The child rules. The parent complies.

A solution you won’t like.
Any attention you give the child reinforces the negative behavior. So, let’s play a game. It has to be a game or you will blow your cool. When the child act up, you notice it but you ignore it.

I pity you if you give in. if you do, the bad behavior will show up again and take longer to subdue. Love your child, but continue to not love the negative behavior or respond to it. You can’t show or say anything that the child will think is a response.

Crying! It only hurts your ears and nerves. It doesn’t hurt the child! Learn to turn it off as white noise. Turn the TV volume up and sing! Stand your ground of non-emotion and no response to the negative behavior.. It won’t take too long for the child to learn that it doesn’t work anymore.

I told you that you wouldn’t like the solution.
It works. It’s called behavior modification. It works with adults as well. Key is catching them doing good and rewarding that behavior. You are not allowed to comment on the negative behavior ever again.

So how do your reinforce good behavior? You will have to on purpose look for cute and nice behavior and love all over your child. In other words, catch your child doing good! Most parents are busy with life and they don’t really watch their children. At this age, this is the time to develop loving and kind things in your kids. You reward will be in the coming years when you will be proud of your child.

Any cute and negative mischievous behavior today will be expensive to fix after the child has grown up. Imbed your values in your child today. Reinforce how much you love them. Hug with love all the time!

Question? Who is in charge today?
Answer, you are or you will be very soon!

It sounds like he's getting some great attention through these screaming/throwing episodes. You could also try saying firmly "That's not how we behave at mealtimes" when he acts up, and say calmly "Okay, dinner (lunch/whatever) is over" and take his tray and remove him from the high chair. He may get hungry, so you may need to try feeding him again later. We had a similar problem with our toddler and this seemed to work. Or you could try ignoring the behavior. Give him extra attention when he's behaving, but once he starts acting up, either walk out of the room or ignore him. The behavior should extinguish once he realizes he's not getting the attention. Hope this helps!

I have a 21 month old who just finished this stage. She screamed constantly (not a cry, just an annoying scream) and threw herself on the floor sometimes. I mostly ignored it.

Then, all of a sudden she began to talk more. And she stopped. I bet your little one might just be gearing up to talk. This is the age when they can understand most words but can't say them, and it can be frustrating.

This might not be the reason for yours, just wanted to throw it out there as a possible explanation.

My youngest daughter went through that. I was able to stop the high chair throwing of things by letting her pick out with dishes, plates, spoon, cup, etc that she wanted to use. To this day she wants to pick out her own, she is now 3 years. At 19 months they are learning and playing - in a way that is different from what we would like. Remember he is only 19 months. I think we try to hard to get our children to be little adults and that puts pressure on them to handle situations they can not mentally adapt to. You might want to see if any new foods were introduced into his diet, I know for mine if I give them any foods with colors or dyes or chocolate they will bounce off the walls and act out terribly, so I avoid those at all costs!!