19 Month Old Has Never Slept Through the Night

My 17 month old is the same. I try to keep her physical activity up all day long and that seems to keep her waking up only once and makes it easier to get back to sleep. Also if she doesnt eat lot of protien that day she will wake up twice in the night. My oldest didnt sleep through the night until she was 3 and in preschool. I am thinking that my little one is just like her big sister. I also find she need her little mind worked too....lots of things to make her think.... good luck and someday he will sleep through the night...I know right now it feels like forever :)

Try putting water in his cup at night. I might make him mad for a week but he will get the idea that waking up for water is just not worth the effort. Good luck.

I am a mom of 4 ages 14, 10 7 and 4.

You're not alone and you're handling it so well.

My 2-yr old doesn't sleep through the night either. Parents are often pressured to produce that result without considering the true needs of their each unique and individual children, or what the parents actually want for themselves and their children. Some kids sleep well on their own early, some late, and many in between.

And you are doing a great job. Just the fact that you are seeing that your individual son wakes because needs reassurance at night says what a great mom you are.

We have long been living in an age of convenience and so sometimes we may be tempted to treat kids like a tv or a computer with an on/off switch or a remote control button. And the justification is based on the old theory of behavioral manipulation that has been thoroughly debunked. Kids are not that way because they are people and people cannot turn off their true needs for reassurance or comfort. Needs do not disappear when they are ignored. That is a myth that psychological research has been dispelling now for decades. Unmet needs simply go underground and come back in much worse forms to haunt one later in life. So if the supernannies on tv are promoting the idea that children who cry at night should be neglected, I would say beware. You know what your child needs. Trust your instincts.

Hi S....

I have no pearls of wisdom...Your request just brought back memories...I had three daughters and the youngest was 18 months and still had never slept through the night...I was in the first trimester of #4 when I could not take it anymore...so I taught her how to get out of her bed and climb in with her sister...she was just lonely I guess...I got to sleep and found all three girls in the same bed every morning...Your not alone...good luck finding the answer that works for you and your boy...

T.

The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to stay consistent. Whatever you decide to do to get him to stay in bed, stick w/it! I'd also suggest starting off slowly. Stop letting him come into bed w/you at 3:30a. Most books reccomend just walking the kids back to bed, no discussions of any kind.....just cover them up & go back to bed yourself. Obvioulsy, this will be something you'll have to do many times & he'll probably cry, but he'll eventually get it. Like I said, stay consistent. When our younger son hit, 2, he started climbing out of the crib. So, every night at bed time, he was out & in several times, 30 times in one 1/2 hour period to be exact! I took him back to bed, didn't make eye contact, didn't talk to him, just covered him up, put on his music & left the room. Not even a kiss good night. I instructed our 7 yr old to make no comments about his little brother standing sheepishly in the hall, as well. After about a week, it was over. He'd stay in bed once I put him there. I'm gonna be blunt, at this point, you've created the habit of him getting up at 1:30a & then coming to bed w/you at 3:30a. If you want him to sleep thru the night, it's up to you to make the changes happen. If you like him sleeping w/you at 3:30a, then don't change anything. But, if you want him to sleep thru in his own bed, then, as I've said, find a program that will work for you guys & stick w/it. Stay strong! Hope this helps & good luck!

Your child may be over tired. Children do not sleep well when they are over tired. Try maybe an extra nap during the day or an earlier bed time. And quit taking him to bed with you. There is nothing to be gained by forming a bad habit that you know you will eventually have to break. You won't get any sleep while you're breaking that habit so it's not really doing you any good.

The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth was extremely helpful when we went through the same thing with my 14 month old. She now sleeps peacefully from 6:30pm to 7:00am. Strongly recommend this read to solve your sleep problem.

I recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth. I've used his book and theory with all three of my children and they sleep 12 hours a night. Good luck. Sleep is so important for a happy family!!

The only thing that worked for us was letting our son cry it out. I know it sounds yucky, but it works. Even when he does sleep through the night there are always going to be bad nights, as a matter of fact just last night my son (19 months) kept waking up for no apparent reason. We finally just let him cry and he didn't wake up the rest of the night. It is also important to lay him down when he is still awake. If he goes to sleep in your arms he wants you to be there when he wakes up.

I have a 13 month old daughter and she has slept through the night since she was a 5 months old. She does ever so often wake up in the middle of the night for her pacifier or something, but we never bring her in our bed. I think your son knows that if he cries or keeps you up long enough he can come in bed with you. I think you need to make it clear that he needs to stay in his own bed. He is definitely old enough for the CIO method, which may be hard but the only way to break the bad habit that he has developed. If he wakes up just keep taking him back to his bed with no verbal stimulation from you and eventually it won't be worth it for him to wake up. It may be a bad few nights but he will learn.
Good Luck

I feel for you...my best suggestions would be to put a night light in his room. Put on some soft classical music, or better yet, leave him safely at night with Christian Psalm's for children playing or just the Word of God playing. The word is alive and it is healing in it's self for the soul, spirit and body.

Prayers and blessings, S. B

Hi S.,

My son was exactly the same way. Great at just about every stage except with sleeping. He's now 2 years old and I have to say sleeping has gotten MUCH better. First, I would recommend a book by Jodi Mindell called "Sleeping through the Night." There is a lot of helpful information in there and I find myself referring to it periodically. What worked for us has been consistency since the beginning of sleep training. We have a standard bedtime routine - two books, then bed. He is not allowed up once we've transitioned back to his room. That, combined with an epiphany that we had a few months ago - leaving his door open - has been the key to our success. We leave his door open just a few inches and he finds relief in knowing he can hear us nearby. When he is resistant to settling down to sleep, I ask him if I should close his door and that seems to remind him that he wants the door open and thus, he goes to bed. Also, we have a sleep machine which plays white noise all night - just the sound of it is a reminder that its time for bed. In the beginning, if he tried to have me come stay with him or him in our bed, I would say that he was a big boy and that if he didn't stay in his bed I would have to shut the door. It took a lot of attempts but now we (mostly) have a good sleeper.
I will say that not every kid is great at sleeping, I'm 34 and I am not a good sleeper so with that in mind, just know that we can give them all the training and sometimes, they just are how they are. My son still wakes up but now I can go in and say that it is still night-night time and he'll usually go right back to sleep. Whatever it is that you find that works for your family, continue to be consistent with it. GOOD LUCK!

Dear S.,

I have a 15 month old son who is just now sleeping through the night. He was also great with all the transitions and would really just wake up for a pacifier which was in his crib but truth be told what he really wanted was us.

It was really hard and we had a few nights where he cried for up to an hour before falling back to sleep, but I would suggest it is time to really lay down the law and not go in his room to console him unless it is absolutley necessary. Definately do not pick him up or bring him in your bed because soon he will think it is part of his nightly routine and expect this treatment all the time. You do not want your son to still be trying to do this when he is 2,3,4 etc...

We did a few things to ensure our son might sleep better through the night. We use the Huggies nighttime diapers which are more absorbent than the regular diapers so Jack was less likely to leak through his diaper to his clothes.

We kept a strict bedtime schedule and tried to make sure his Dad or myself really ran him around the house and played a lot from 5-6:00 after dinner but before the quiet bedtime routine would begin so he was really, really really, tired. Now that daylight savings has occurred we also tend to take him for a walk where he really walks around the neighborhood after his dinner but before his bath to help tire him out. All of these things have made the difference and we are sleeping peacefully. We even wake up in the morning now before he does so we can shower in peace too!

I hope some of this might be helpful for you. I know how hard it is to not go to him but he needs to start consoling himself more and getting back to sleep on his own.

Good luck and sweet dreams to you all,

N.

Hi S., this will be very short & sweet as my kids are running rampant in this room... as usual when I sit down for something.

Our son didn't sleep ALL night until after he was two and we put him on a regular mattress. I don't know what kind of mattress you have on your sons big boy bed, but we had a crib mattress and it was the same one that was in our sons crib and he just wouldn't sleep all night on it. So we got him a twin size Sealy and he's slept all night since.

Good Luck!

WOW!!! Hi S., I thought I was the only one that was going thru this. Friends and co-workers with children this age say they don't have this problem, just laugh and think it's cute. My son is 18 mos and as with yours he wakes up during the night looking for his sippy cup and once i get up (his crib is in my room) and give it to him he fine. But then there is those mornings at 3 am that he wakes and is wide awake saying bye bye...lol I tell him noooo nite nite...of course he wants to play and talk. I end up turning on the television for him, he watches and eventually falls back to sleep.. (too bad when he goes back to sleep it is time for me to get up). I am sorry I have no advise for you, but I would like some just the same. Just wanted to share you are not alone.

This may not be the answer you want, but my 21 month old has slept in our family bed since birth. He still cries out once and while, but one sleepy snuggle from either parent and everyone is sleeping again. We adults like the comfort of a bed partner, so it seems perfectly understandable to me that little children would feel the same way. My older one moved to the floor of our bedroom at three and eventually graduated to his own room, but he still prefers to fall asleep with someone next to him. Maybe everyone would get more rest if you all spent the night in one bed. Don't worry--the stage won't last forever and it won't make your child inappropriately "dependent."

yep quit giving into him' he knows your going to be there so just ignore him and watch supper nanny. wich I did not have to do , but now I do because of grandkids, because you let them run you and they catch on fast. I raised 4 and came from 11 and never had that problem, because I did not let my kids rule me. let him cry himself to sleep a time or 2 and he will get over it. and you will sleep, and so will he

I have a 3 yeah old who has never slept threw the night, we know he has a sleep disorder and it causes him to be hyper during the day. Unfortunately we have yet to find a solution, but are working on it. The one suggestion I do have is, you must cut out having a cup at night, it will only bite you in the butt later on when you begin potty training, in fact it is a good idea to cut out liquids an hour before bed. My son does get up multiple times a night and we put him back to bed, but we are finding it is linked to night terrors. My son has had nightmares since he was born. A schedule is always helpful, but for children like our it will be difficult. I quit giving my son naps at 2 because it only made the situation worse. Although he gets up he is in bed by 8 and sleeps till 8 am I would estimate he still gets up about 6-7 times which leaves me sleep deprived. I know this wont help you too much in the sleep area, but trust me when I say giving them something to drink at night is only harmful especially when it's not water. Also taking him to bed with you is a bad idea I did that and struggled to get him out of my bed as he got older, I know sometimes the idea of sleep sounds better but as time goes on you;ll find it is not worth it. At 3 years old I've had nights where I've spent an hour getting him back in his bed because he wants in mine and I wake sore and sluggish if I let him in my bed.

To give you some comfort, my four year old doesn't sleep through the night. He wakes up atleast once and he slips into our bed. We have tried a lot of things, but he likes to touch us when he sleeps for comfort and we just got him off his sippy cup at night. I don't really have any advice, but you are not the only one. I hope that this makes you feel a little better.

L. B.

It is kind of a support knowing at least Im not alone, my child will be 3 in May and still wakes up a few times a nt and I feel I have tried everything. She likes to cuddle and I think its party of genetics. She is an active kid. Have lots of activites planned, when the weather gets nicer run around outside to burn so energy. Bath at night, story time, my daughter loves to have her back or feet rubbed. Keep trying hopefully something will work. sorry I wish I had better advice.
T.

S.,
I totally understand. I now have 2 boys 4 1/2 and almost 2 1/2. Both boys did not sleep through the night for a long time and I refused to cry it out because I feel it is not right for us. We too had to go in and hand the sippy cup that was right next too him and tell him its ok and rub his back for a second for him to fall asleep. My 4 year old is a great sleeper now and my 2 year old is getting close (we moved a lot recently and that kept messing him up so he is a little behind where his brother was but every child is different). My children never came in our bed, they never asked or we probably would have (it is easier than get up). The only thing that I can think of is warn him this is the last night you can come in Mommy and Daddy's bed at night, then even if he cries don't let him in maybe walk him around and snuggle him them put him back in bed. It may take a few nights for him to stop asking but he will. This is something someone told me and it helped me through "You don't see adults sleeping with their parents or peeing in their pants or waking up crying for someone to come in so they will eventually do these things"
good luck,
C.

Hi S., Boy I was just there a couple of weeks ago. My son just turned 4 years old and had not slept through the night. I waited until his preschool was on spring break to try again. I talked to him about it every day. The first 2 nights were tough. He would wake up and cry, But by the 3rd night he would wake up fuss a little and go back to sleep. Now he goes to bed no problem. I know he is older than your son, but it doesn't get any easier the older they get. You can find something he really likes and let him know when he stays in his bed all night by himself he will get it. I think it was harder on me than him as I still wake up and check on him.

Don't worry about this it seems quite normal.

I have a 2 1/2 year old who is yet to sleep through the night, however with the help of the following book we now only have 1-2 awakenings rather tha vry 2 hours throughout the night.

So, if you are ready to make a change get a hold of the book "The no-cry sleep solution for toddlers and pre-schoolers" by Elizabeth Pantley. It is great for giving you lots of ideas to try for your specific situation and chil. It will help you develop a sleep plan specific to your family to help change your child's habits.

Good luck.

Hello S.. Ah memories. My son, who is 11 now, woke every two hours until he was nearly 2. I was severely tired after not having a full nights sleep for well over a year and I had gestational diabetes and anemia the second time around. It became urgent for me to sleep. My husband had a night job so I was on my own until 3:30 am.
I used a three pronged strategy. I started to give him a "baby massage" every night, which entailed 15 or more slow long strokes starting at the head first, then both arms, then the torso, followed by the legs and ending with the feet. It worked like magic at calming him down. Secondly, (before the massage actually) we'd talk about what was good that day. I would promise that if he stayed in his bed all night we'd do some specific thing that he liked the next day. Finally, if he did come to our bed we put him right back into his bed. I think we may have used a shorter baby massage during the night at first as well. It worked. He understood if he woke up he had to stay in his bed quietly. End result? He sometimes still asks for the baby massage!
One last note, he never liked his crib so was a co sleeper until 11 months old, when we bought him a cushion top Sealy Posturpedic twin bed. He loved that bed because it was softer, he didn't feel restrained and he could have his soft toy "friends" with him at the end of the bed. Having his "friends" around really helped in the middle of the night.
I hope this helps.

Yeah, my son is almost five and doesn't sleep through the night all the time. I know some CIO advocates would say we "caused" this by letting him sleep with us, but the fact is they are all different and need different parenting. We didn't plan to do co sleeping, we just couldn't get any sleep any other way. Our son switched easily to his big boy bed at around 2 1/2 and now prefers his own bed. I read him a book and lay down with him until he falls asleep. It's the best part of my day. He wakes up once or twice a night. That's obviously not the best time of my day, but that's the way it is. I know it is hard, and I know it is annoying, but it is normal. For some children it is normal. They are all different. Try to stop worrying about what every one else's kid is doing and just give your child what he or she needs. It may be hard, but being a parent is hard, and you have to parent the kid you've got with the kind of parenting he needs. Good Luck!

This is my son to the letter, he is 19 months as well. We let him co-sleep and once I weened him he would sleep though the night, but only if he was in bed with us. He is a complete momma's boy! We just got him his first big boy bed (a little cars toddler bed) and we have started putting him in there to sleep. We read to him and then stay in there until he falls asleep. He wakes up about 2 times a night screaming and we go in and stay until he falls back asleep, which sometimes can be up to 45 minutes. Once he wakes up around 6:30 we let him come in with us, since we have to start getting ready for the day around 7:30 anyway. We decided to transition slowly and are probably about another week or 2 away from putting him in there reading and then leaving the room. I hate the CIO method and am waiting until I have no other options. I know that there wasn't any really advice in there, I just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain! Let me know if you find something that works. I am always up for a great night of sleep.

Wow, this must be hard on you and your husband. I could have used some more info about what you guys do before bedtime and what time he goes to bed. I will try to help with the info we have... What is his bedtime routine? Do you do the same thing every night before bed? For example, we always turn off the tv 2 hours before bedtime.We let our kids play in their rooms for about 1/2 hour before we change into pj's, brush teeth, and then read books. Have you tried playing soft Baby Einstein type classical music about 45 min before he is in his bed? Maybe a bath with the Johnson's lavender baby wash would help, that used to help my son when he was that age. Also, children should be in their beds before they are tired and cranky.I hope this helps-let me know what works!

Laraine

My son is the youngest of our 3 children, he is 2 1/2. Our daughters 7 and 4 never had a problem as infants sleeping. As they became toddlers, different things scared them, or they were being just plain rebellious. Our son was a different story. Like your child my son doesn't sleep thru the night, and when he does, its like 1 night every 3 months. And really has never slept all the way thru the night. the only way he does usually is when he is in bed with us.
He is a mommy's boy. He loves to be near me. He slept in our room from birth because we only have a 2 bedroom house, and I didn't want him crying all night and waking up the girls. I am sure its our fault. I let him do it, because he's the last one, and I have learned that you pick your battles.
Having talked with other people and having 2 other children, once they got to a certain age I would say 3 or so, it became less and less difficult. Which is the wait and see way...
I have seen shows where they basically locked the kid in their room and let them cry all night long. Sometimes they were super stubborn and refused to be by themselves. Sometimes they get used to the idea that no one is coming to get them, give up and go to sleep. I call that the cold turkey method.