19 Month Old Hitting

Updated on August 11, 2008
A.D. asks from Allen, TX
4 answers

Alright ladies, I need advice please. My 19 month old has started hitting me and her dad, when she does not get her way. I am sad to say it but I am a little scared of her. At home I can redirect her for the most part, or we have a "time out" and she will sit in time out but I don't know if she really gets it, because as soon as she gets out if something upsets her again we are back at hitting.
What do I do, I need help. Let me add that she is a great little girl most of the time, and never is mean to her friends.
I guess I am asking for is ideas to get through this.
Thanks in advance
A.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much ladies, all of your ideas were great. I have used some of the ideas you all have recommended, and we had a weekend free of hitting. Finally my sweet angel is coming BACK!

More Answers

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have advice, but thought I would share that I understand. My twin 2 yr old boys just started this behavior and it has me beside myself. I almost sent a message asking for help myself but not sure anyone can really tell me anything I don't know. I have twin girls that are almost 5 and I never ever had these problems; I did all the 'right stuff" of redirecting, time outs etc. with both sets of twins. The boys are normally very good natured and this behavior has come out of nowhere. They had already started aggressive behavior with each other; head-butting if one takes a toy, etc. No idea where this was learned; must be instinctive. One has started throwing his toys HARD all the time; now if I do something he does not like, he hits me, hard. the other boys kicked me between the eyes, hard, and last night tried to bite me. It just shocks me and frankly it hurts my feelings. I will be reading your answers to see if there are any good ideas. Redirecting and time out just is not working.

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

Oy ... well, I wish I had some great advice for you, but I don't .. but wanted to send you a (((HUG)) and let you know that you're doing good to NIP this immediately. Sweetie, if you are even slightly 'scared' of her at 19 months .. you have NOOOO idea what you're in for in the future. BE STRONG you are the parent. I would maybe ask your ped and start reading some books asap about strong willed children!!! There is NO excuse for hitting and is ABSOLUTELY no tolerated in my house hold (though thankfully, none of my kids were hitters), and they knew that from the first moment!! Since this has become a regular thing - you'll have to work hard to break the habit.

When she does hit you .. how do you respond? I know you said you redirect her .. but do you FIRMLY tell her NO HIT or anything like that? Make good eye contact and tell her that's not acceptable? I'm all for redirection in some instances, but she needs to know we don't hit - period! FWIW .. I do have friends whose kids are big into biting and having to break that icky habit, too.

Good luck and I hope you find a solution that works!!!

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

Get close to her, look her right in her eyes and in your best mom voice tell her "no hitting! we don't hit!" every time she does it. Make sure she knows that YOU are the boss & YOU make the rules. Don't let her cow you now; it'l only get worse as she grows older. Ofcourse every child hits and acts out, but you do need to take this opportunity to let her know that she is not in control & is not allowed to have this type of behavior.

Good luck & be strong!

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A.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi. My son tried that too. Our pediatrician recommended that we put pressure on him at a pressure point (bt thumb and forefinger for ex)and say NO hitting. We aren't hitting him back (which basically will confuse them!) but we are being firm. It worked for us.

But, most kids go through that stage - don't worry too much yet! Don't EVER let her see your fear - you will be in too deep - just wait until she's 14!!!

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