19 Month Old Night Waking

It sounds to me you've tried everything under the sun and he doesn't know which bedtime routine to go by. There's been so many things each night that go differently that he sounds very confused and angry, don't you think? I know as parents you only want whats best for him but sometimes trying too many things can be overwhelming for kids. I have a 20month old little girl and I know if we don't do her same routine each night, she will be off all night. You need to pick one thing you do nightly as a nighttime routine and stick with it. Don't expect miracles to happen overnight or even in a week. Try about a month for this to actually sink in for him to know that this is the routine he has to follow. Cosleeping at this age , to me makes them dependent on you for them to fall asleep. Since my daughter been 2 months old I let her cry for about 5-10 mintues after I put her down and then I would always go in and giver her a kiss and rub her head but rarley ever pick her up and I never rocked her to sleep.... I rocked her, to soothe her, but never used it as a tool to help her fall asleep. I would cut that out. To this day I never had a problem with her going to sleep. Only if she's teething , had a nightmare, or sick. Pick one and stick to the plan. It will be the hardest thing you ever had to do(with letting him cry it out) but the most rewarding as soon as you see him as a happy independant lil boy. Good Luck

Hi M.. Checking with a doctor never hurts. They are more than happy to answer any questions..even ones that seem silly to us. If it is teething, you may want to check to see if Motrin would help ease his pain, or it could be separation anxiety. I understand children can go through it several times as they get older and realize they are their own little person.
If it is separation anxiety, laying down with him may help in the short run and hurt in the long run as he will learn that if he cries longer, you will eventually give in and give him what he wants. Going in, not picking him up, but instead letting him hear your voice for a few minutes and leaving may work, but it could take several nights before he doesn't need you to check on him anymore. Check with your doctor and see what he/she says...if it's not medical, then do what you feel most comfortable with doing as a mother. Your insticts are your best guide. Best of luck to you...and hopefully many more restful nights!
~N.

I dealt with this on and off with my daughter who just turned two this week (thankfully, she's past this stage now). I've found that the more I would go in her room, the longer this pattern would continue (the pattern of waking up and needing to be rocked back to sleep). I don't like the idea of letting her cry it out for long periods of time so I try to follow the rules set in the Baby Whisperer. If she's crying, I'll go in the first time and pick her up and rock her for only a few minutes. Then I lay her back down and tell her quietly, "it's sleepy time, mommy is going back to her bed, I love you". If she starts to cry, I give it a little time and then I go back in but the next time, i don't pick her up. I'll give her her blanket and little lamb that she cuddles with and then lay her down, rub her belly for a minute, tell her I love her, and then walk away. Each time I have to go back in, I give it a little more time before I'll go back.

Also, I've found that infant motrin or advil works better for teething than tylenol. Motrin and Advil are ibuprofin which is an anti-inflammatory - this is better for teeting because they're gums are inflamed and that's what hurts them. Tylenol is aspirin which is just an overall pain reliever and isn't quite as effective on teething.

Hi

Let him cry it out. I know it is painful to you,but it is best. As long as he is alright and not sick. Play some quiet music and leave a small light on so it is not scary for him.
Check on him if you must, but don't let him see you.
When the new baby comes give him lots of attention too.
It will be easier to get him to his own bed now before the new baby arrives. Do you tell him bedtime stories?
That's something special to do for him.
N. H

All babies go through different phases of sleeping patterns. I hope you don't go the "cry it out" method. You allowed the co-sleeping, which is wonderful!!... why make him miserable because you have changed your mind?
I would imagine, if you bring him in bed with you he goes right back to sleep, and so can you. We had all three of ours in bed with us. Savor it, they grow up way too fast.

He could be teething. This happens to mine when they are teething. Try some tylonol or motrine for the pain.

Night waking is such a hard topic; I know it is hard to have our sleep interrupted and I know it can be very wearing; but this too shall pass; many things in parenting have no "quick fixes" but rather, you just have to ride out the waves of selflessness just as you are doing in so many other areas of parenting; seems that when we take on the role of "parent" we have given up the liklihood of a good nights sleep; sometimes changing our expectations (like expecting that you would sleep through the night without having an interlude like the one you are experiencing and instead, know that you may get woke up)helps a great deal; just know that you are doing the right thing - by meeting your babies needs! I commend you for that. And if it's not a newborn, or toddler, its a preschooler with bad dreams - just gets you ready for the teenage years when you fall asleep in the chair waiting for them to come home; or the college age years when you go to bed and wake up multiple times wondering if they're home yet.....Enjoy, soon you will be an "old timer" like me and there will be no birds left in the nest and I still don't sleep all night - guess all my early parenting years are hard to shake!

My son Ben (19 months also) did this and still does this from time to time. He does however uses a pacifier or "Bob" as he is called in our home and that seems to help. My husband and I rotate who gets up with Ben each night even if he doesnt get up. We have found letting him cry it out is our best option. we still go into his room, pick him up, change his pants, a bit of tylonol for the teeth a short 20-30 minute cuddle with mom or dad and by then he is typically back to sleep anyway. we find its the when his head hits the pillow problem that gets us the most. wakes up instantly. from there we know he has everything he needs, its dry, and just doesnt want to get back to sleep. we feel bad about it, and neither one of us sleeps while he is crying but we listen on the monitor and wait. if its more than an hour or he seems more hysterical one of us goes in there, tells him nicely its time to sleep and we lay him back down cover him up, turn on his V-tech baby Bee thinger and leave the room. he tends to calm down then. but going back in and letting him know we are there, we love him and that its time to sleep does help when it looks like he isnt going to settle down anytime soon. I hope this helps. its never easy to just leave your baby to cry. I hate doing it, but he has to learn sleep time is sleep time or a bad habit will form. We had that with Daddy going to get him and falling back asleep on the couch with him. Ben would wake up in the middle of the night and be ready to go! blanket in hand wanting you to pick him up to go cuddle on the couch. bad habits are hard to break. your doing the right thing! Also might want to check with your doctor on dose of tylonol, ours gave us the OK to increase dose, not sure what amount you are giving your baby and being it I am no doctor I dont want to tell you what amount to give, but it might not be enough to kick that teething pain.

My 16 month old daughter goes through stages like this too. She will be sleeping through the night fine then for a few days she will get up in the middle of the night. I just go back in and rock her to sleep. Have you tried teething tablets? We have found these to be more effective for the teething pain than tylenol or motrin. THey sell them at most drugs stores and babies r us.

It always surprises me that parents think their children shouldn't wake up during the night. Many, many children and adults wake up one or more times during the night. Usually nothing is really wrong. It could be teething, stress, or just wanting comfort. I would NOT let him cry it out. Why upset him any worse? Parenting is a 24x7 affair and kids go through stages. If they sleep through, it's a gift, but never something you should count on. He is still very much a baby. I'd skip the tylenol if it's not helping. If it were me, I'd have him come in my room and lie down either in my bed or on a mat/firm quilt on the floor next to me. It's harder for men to understand these things, especially with boys, because they think they need to learn to tough everything out. He is a baby! Meet his needs and hope it doesn't last too long. Some kids get up during the night for years. That's just how it is. Accepting it and keeping calm and comforting about it is your best bet. Don't act cheery and like it's playtime, but be loving and kind, and he'll get through it and so will you. His needs are more important right now than a potential sibling or your perceived right to get an uninterrupted night's sleep. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but he can't tell you what's wrong yet, and he needs you to be there for him around the clock.

I don't know if I have any helpful advice, but I can tell you that I feel your exhaustion! My three year old son has been doing this ever since I can remember. He has never been a good sleeper and when we put him in his twin bed with guard rails at around age 2 he has been even worse. He gets out of bed a lot of nights, most times more than once, sometimes multiple times. He cries and doesn't seem to have a reason for waking so much. Many times he says he needs a drink of water, so we give it to him, but he still keeps getting us up. I think he doesn't like being alone in his room laying there not able to get back to sleep. At some point we are going to have to stop giving him the water in the middle of the night, or else we will never successfully potty train him. So far our pediatrician has not had any helpful advice. He also won't stay in bed when we first lay him down for the night or for naps. He will keep getting up over and over and over and we have to keep putting him back in bed. We stick to a routine every night and at naptime. We brush his teeth, he sits on the potty, we read him books, and he gets a drink of water. He has a night light. The night light can change colors or stay one color. I thought maybe the color changing was bothering him, so I tried keeping it on one color... didn't help. We both work and have a 22-month old. Lack of sleep is the story of our lives unfortunately. Luckily our younger son sleeps like a champ. Anyone out there have any suggestions?

It may just be a phase, My son did that and I used to just put him in the crib and let him cry it out. See we don't give our babies enough credit. They are very smart and know what they are doing alot of the times. My advice. Wear his little behind out, and ny that I mean play with hi till he can't play any more. Take him out side, or what I did was went to Hart Plaza in downtown Detroit and we walked from the plaza to the rennisance building, i let him try to push the stroller, then we went in the building andI let him look andplay in the cars then we went to the food court and ate. walked back. When we got home that night he went to bed and woke the next morning at 12:00 noon. Or let him stay up a little later then usual and play he'll work it out.

Hello M.,

I know its tuff but our little guy went through the same thing. From 2 months till 15 months slept through the night. Then started getting up every night. I don't have any great advice on what to do but I do not believe it is a medical reason. Everyone I have talked to say their little ones have done the same thing but most of them did not get the sleeping through the night at 2 months so I felt fortunate.

Good Luck To You - L. S

My 2 year old twins sometimes still get up in the middle of the night and want to be comforted back to sleep. Toddlers have bad dreams as well. Just try to comfort him as much as possible, try reading bedtime story before he gets to sleep. Let him know exactly where you will be sleeping. During the day, point out his bed and point out your bed. Good Luck!

You know what?? I think I went through the SAME thing in the winter, with my now 2 year old. She was a wonderful sleeper through the night then we had this spell, of like 2 weeks, where she was waking and would NOT go back to sleep unless she was in our bed (which I do NOT like to do, but was exhausted). We tried ALL the things you have tried-crying it out (lasted WAY too long with no postiive results), rocking (she'd wake when trying to lay her down)...I was a MESS and SO upset that a pattern might be in play. She hadn't been feeling well (pry teething too) so someone said to relax and wait to see how she did once her health was back on track. Sure enough, it all stopped. She went to bed with NO troubles and began sleeping through the night again. That was in Jan. and I think she may have woke once or twice since then (now July). It was just a phase for us, although I was freaking out. Hopefully it is for you too and maybe you should just please the child for a few more days before you get too anxious about it!! Good luck-I remember how tiring it was!!!