6 Month Old... CIO?

8 kids and not a single one ever did CIO. I am not a believer and never will be, no matter how little sleep I had.

Some transitioned easily and others did not. Some slept better then others and others did not. I really believe that when they are emotionally and physically ready they will do it.

There is no magic answer here cause one size does not fit all. When in doubt follow you instincts, if they are saying maybe bed sharing is the right thing to do, then do it. You can always go back later and re-evaluate.

If you wait another three months, he may be able to self soothe and won't need CIO. He could be a fantastic sleeper by then. At six months, he's depending on you to fix whatever the problem is. And he's not being selfish or trying to manipulate mommy by waking up at night, he needs something. It's awesome that you're able to provide what he needs (milk, closeness).

I never did CIO with my kids either... and they're fantastic sleepers. It took until they were about seven months old before they were capable of sleeping six or seven hours at night. Hang in there...

I hated the idea of letting my child cry it out. But by 10 months, she still wasn't sleeping through the night. I tried every other sleep solution that had a book published about it, and finally, I had to try. Within a few nights, she was sleeping through the night. My son never had the same sleep issues (interestingly enough, she is a much more anxious kid in general, so perhaps she was destined to have sleep issues as a more anxious person by nature, or perhaps I instilled the anxiety through crying it out -- I guess I'll never know, and no one could ever convince me they have the answer to that one). But ultimately, for her sake, it was healthier for her to learn to sleep and for me to not be groggy all day. I will say, now at age 10, she sleeps like a champ!

We did the ferber method early, we had a number of reasons for going that route. It was the toughest thing I ever had to do as a parent, but so well worth it.

By the time I went back to work, at 4.5 months, he was sleeping from 11-6:30.

Good luck to you and yours.
F. B.

Sorry Mama I have never and will never agree with CIO method.

B. k

I think CIO is the most cruel and inhumane thing a parent can do to a child. I often wonder why they had children if they were not going to go in when they cried for them and needed to be nurtured.

I just can't imagine not taking care of a child's needs. They develop trust vs mistrust at this stage of their lives and if they cry and no one comes they learn to not trust their adults to care for them. It's a parents job to answer that cry.

Letting a child fuss for a few minutes to see if they will go back to sleep is fine, but not even a few minutes of full out crying without checking on that child is ever okay.

It's my opinion and I have over 13 years in child care. I was often open over night, well, until 2:30am for the night shift people and if a child woke up and they started a full out cry they got my attention and so did the others they woke up. I would sometimes be rocking one in my arms and their twin in it's carrier car seat being rocked by my foot. There have been times when one baby is on one are and a toddler on the other. Until my arms were asleep and I had to wake up my hubby to get him to come take one of them.

If they need that skin to skin contact nothing else will comfort. If they need to suck nothing else will satisfy so they suck what is handy.

I think that if your child is full out crying for you that you need to go to them and do what ever they need. They will not need it months and months and months. They will likely need it for a couple of weeks to a month. I think co-sleeping is fine if it fits your lifestyle. If it doesn't then move the baby bed where it is directly touching your side of the bed. Put your hand between the bars and pat them or hold their foot. Something to let them feel you. Then you can both sleep all night.

I didn't try CIO until my kids were at least a year or so just because I have read crying in young babies is their only method of communicating their needs at first. However, you start to learn your babies different cries, so you are really the judge when you start trying this strategy. Even when I did try CIO it was a modified version. I would let them cry for a couple minutes, standing outside the door, if it was only a whimper, then I would wait. If it was a full-on cry, then I just rocked or held them. Music is good and also swings help soothe too.
If he is in pain from teething, use infant tylenol. If I remember right ibuprofen can't be used until age 2. Check with your doctor first. Good luck! I remember those long nights not so long ago!
HTH,
A.

You don't have to do CIO at all. I didn't with either of my kids and they are both terrific sleepers. I also didn't co-sleep. But I did get up a lot during times of teething and growth spurts, so if don't want to get up a lot, co-sleeping may be a better answer for you.

My opinion is that a baby that is in pain needs his momma, and that letting him CIO when he doesn't feel well, from teeth pain or whatever, is very confusing for a baby and I just couldn't do it.

Obviously other people fully embrace CIO, and they feel differently. This is just my opinion.

Like others here (right on, Gamma G), I don't believe in CIO. He's an infant and is utterly unable, developmentally, to do the reasoning that "If I cry she will come! I cried and she came! I got what I wanted and will do it next time." That is the reasoning that some folks think infants can do -- but they can't. (Not saying that YOU feel this way, just that it's an argument you'll hear from some people.)

An infant left to cry is not trying to manipulate the adults; the infant is in a state of pure isolation, and only knows that if you are not right there, you no longer exist. Remember, for quite a long time, babies think you disappear forever, every time you leave the room. So an infant left to CIO is being given the message that the adult cannot be depended on to be there to meet the child's needs -- and right now your son is pure need, all the time. If you think about it that way, do you see how CIO at this age, or even in a few months or a year, is so hard on a child who believes he's been abandoned because he has no idea you're in the next room?

So please don't worry about developing habits yet, etc. If he needs to co-sleep and YOU get better rest and less stress that way, do it (safely! Learn about things like pillows, blankets, suffocation risks in an adult bed, etc. before you do it). I did not ever do it but I did something else we came up with: I would sit on the floor next to my daughter's crib and keep one hand gently but firmly on her. She could see me and feel my touch but I didn't pick her up and put her down repeatedly and didn't talk to her after lights out. It worked for her; she was comforted and knew I was there and would go to sleep. Gradually over time I could just be in the room, and then outside the door, and then -- we were done and she was able to get to sleep on her own. This might be tougher for you since you have another child but if the kids have separate rooms, maybe your husband can take over bedtime for your older child while you do this with your infant.

But at your baby's age, remember, he does not have "habits" yet -- only needs to be met. And his needs are great -- teeth coming in, tiredness from crawling, etc.

I did CIO with my kids probably around the same time but not when teething. He's in pain, try ibuprofen instead of nursing or cosleeping.

I've done both. My 19 month old dd co-slept the majority of the time and then transitioned to her own bed full-time around a year old when we had another baby. Younger dd co-slept but never really slept peacefully until I switched her to her own bed at about 4 months of age. She also can't stay asleep in our room at all, even if she's in her own bed. So the girls share a room. They both sleep through the night, though they go to bed and wake up at different times. Like you said, every child is different. Neither option (CIO or co-sleeping) will harm him. Just figure out what works for both of you and go with it. Good luck. :)

Look up the signs of GERD or REFLUX in babies... if they start crying 20-60 minutes after eating it's often an indicator...

My experience has been that you should do what works for you and not worry too much at this point about creating habits you can't break. If sleeping with you is getting you both some sleep, then do it, you can always try sleep-training in a few months. I know that with parents I've talked to it can get harder once the child is past a certain age, certainly a 2 year-old who is used to sleeping with you is going to put up more of a fight about a change in routine than an infant, but I think your baby is still young enough that you should worry too much about that right now. Give it a few months and then see what happens.

Here's what I did with my kids, in case that helps.

With my first son, we used the Ferber method at about 6 months. Before that he started the night in his bassinet, but after he woke to eat, I would bring him into bed with me since nursing was so much easier that way. I really recommend Dr. Ferber's book, if you can find the time to read (I know, I know) but I will briefly let you know what we did that worked for us. My son was still nursing at night, so we started working on that, by gradually decreasing the time I let him nurse, and at the same time increasing the time in between feedings. Before we started, he would nurse about every 4 hours through the night for about 10 minutes per session, so I started only letting him nurse for say, nine minutes, and I made him wait at least 4 1/4 hours the first night, then each night I would add 15 minutes to the interval between feedings and subtract a minute of nursing time, until, after about a week or so, he wasn't waking to feed anymore. Then we started laying him down sleepy, but not asleep in his crib, and letting him fuss/cry for a certain amount of time before we went in to check on him. We started with something small like 3 minutes, and gradually increased. That took about 5 days and after that he slept for 11-12 hours each night.
With my second son, he also co-slept for much of the night, though we did always try to start him in his own bed. He wasn't ready for sleep training at six months, and so we waited until he was 8-9 months before we used the same method described above, with the same results, he sleeps 11-12 hours each night, and wakes up happy.

Best of luck to you!

Hi, M.:

Do you burp the baby after nursing?
If you do, does he burp?

Lay the baby back down and let him cry it out.
If the baby does not go back to sleep on his own after
awhile. Check to see if something else is amiss and correct it.
Do not sleep with your baby.
Babies and children need to learn to self soothe. If they don't learn,
you will never have a life of your own. Your life will revolve around your child forever.
Good luck.
D.