1St Birthday - Gift Opening?

Hi K.,

If you need help on adorable kids 1st birthday party invitations send me an email. I have a mom-owned business located in Oak Lawn. My email is ____@____.com. Thanks
D.

I have always had my kids open their gifts. They are now 6 and 9 and write their own thank you notes; however if someone if going to spend time choosing a gift and money on it. They should be able to see the child open the gift. I too like to see the child open presents, at least the present I bought. Just my opinion but I do not like it when they open them later (not always 1 year olds, but older kids) how do I know if they liked it or not? Hope you have a wonderful party!

I definitley think you should open presents. It would be rude to the people who put a lot of thought into their gifts. It really doesn't have to be that difficult. Think bridal/baby shower. Have someone help gather wrapping paper/garbage etc. someone writing down everything and someone to put the opened presents somewhere safe. I can't believe how many people are concerned about other kids getting upset about not getting presents. As the parents they need to explain to their child and have some control over them. Plus the older kids can help open the gifts. Just don't open up the toys that have lots of pieces etc. Thank you notes are expected but opening the present and getting a Thanks in person is much better. Good luck and have a fun party!

I believe you should open the gifts. It's insulting not to open gifts in front of people. The guest took time to buy them for your children you should take the time to open them.

It really depends on the type of party and the type of family/guests you have. For my son, we started the party as his one nap ended (about 1 or 2.) It was a large outdoor barbque bash of about 50 people. (Family was about 35 of them -- huge family and since we wanted our friends there, we threw them into the mix too.) My mom was on baby duty so I could start drinks as people arrived, husband could grill, etc. We of course had a ton of help throughout the day from family and friends and a lot of things were self-serve for the guests.

My family is big on present opening so we made time for that but off to the side so those who wanted to continue conversations and playing baggo in the yard could. Some kids came over to help open the gifts, which was fine and others were more interested in the swingset. People brought me the gifts and carried the open ones to a safe place while a friend wrote down who gave what (for thank you note purposes - she also collected the gift receipts as I handed them to her so none got lost.) We really didn't open any of the toys at the party as I provided bubbles and chalk for the little ones to play with so it wasn't an issue. It went rather smooth and my son on my lap had little interest in the stuff, but it was nice for pictures as he looked like he was opening stuff.

He did go down for a nap mid-party because he was ready for one, which gave me a chance to continue mingling with everyone and refill what needed it. When he woke up, we did cake. Now my kid is the NEATEST eater and people couldn't believe he didn't get anything on his face/hair so he didn't need a bath afterwards. We put him down for his normal bedtime and stayed up with our guests until about 1 am. I don't think there are "right" or "wrong" answers as each family/party/event is different and you have to do what is right for you.

Bottom line, make it so you can have fun. If it's too complicated, you'll be busy with the party and not enjoying your child's special day and the time with your guests. (Read: self serve beverages, big party trays that don't run out, minimal effort appetizer/food, someone to help with cake cutting, etc.)

Yes, it is appropriate to open gifts while the people are present....they want you to! :) Also....do NOT feel bad if you do not sent thank yous....everyone will understand. And, while you may have the time with one....as you have more the time to do that sort of think dwindles. You definetely need a start time and end time-ish. People like to know that, also may help with those that don't have the social cues to know when to leave! :)

A good tip....for a 1st birthday, I always let mine strip down to thier diaper and sit on a counter (with me right there of course). Everyone loves to see baby tear into the cake. I'm assuming the party is somewhere with warm weather...put her in a walker and cut a large piece for her to eat like that. This way, you can just hose it off outside when she's finished!

Just let the party go with the flow...things are crazy at kids parties especially when they are older. Have fun!

If you're not comfortable with the closing time, after 2 hours or less, serve the cake then gather the guests and open the gifts. When finished announce "thank you all for coming; you've made this a wonderful 1st birthday". Have fun

For my daughter who is now 18 months...we had her party at a pizza place; no set up(just a few decorations) and no clean up, well worth it. It was a 3 hr. party. We did not open gifts, we had a clown to entertain the kids and all the adults were able to enjoy each others company. Had we not had the clown we may have opened gifts. However when we opened the gifts at home she was able to do it on her own time schedule no rushing or having presents pushed in her face or pulled away by excited children. I was able to take pictures of her opening each gift and then I sent the picture of her opening the gift(I made sure you could see what the gift was in the picture) to the person/family who gave it along with the Thank You card.

For my son who is now 5yrs. I had a party at my parents(I lived in a trailer and was a single mom at the time) I had a start time no end time and we did open presents, who ever wanted to watch did and who ever didn't want to watch didn't. It was o.k I did most of the opening my son got tired and bored after like 3 gifts. When he was tired and wanted to sleep I put him down for a nap, I don't remember anyone over staying their welcome.

So I would say as far as presents... go with the flow see what your time is like and how your son/daughter(you didn't state what you had) is feeling(cranky, happy, ect.) and for the end time, it depends on whether you have it somewhere and they require and end time and on your friends & family and whether or not they are known to over stay. Either way enjoy it, take lots of pictures and don't stress...it's a celebration. Happy 1st birthday Baby!!!!!

There is no etiquette, of course. Whichever way you choose to go will be fine, but I want to share my experience. My daughter is five now and we never open the gifts at the party. We open the gifts at home a few at a time (this takes about a week) and we write the thank you letters for the opened ones before we open any more. The first two years I had to write the letters. The second two years I'd write the letter, and she'd sign them. Now she writes them all herself. I like avoiding the mad rush of opening them all at once, and I like her appreciating each gift and the giver.

My friend did a thing that I really liked. She opened the birthday presents one at a time in a different room with the family who brought her the present. This allowed some personal time and attention to the individual present. It was much nicer than my experience when my daughter turned 1. All the kids wanted to help open presents and it was extremely difficult to keep track of who purchased what. Even when you ask the kids to back up, they always end up back on top of you. It doesn't help when the parents let their children do a they please. If you think it's going to be too much to do it when everyone is present then wait until the next day. When you send out the thank you notes they will know you received it and appreciated the presnt. The fun is beginning for you now, children are so much fun and an almost 1 year old will keep you on your toes.

It's always nice to have treat bags for the kids. If ages of children are pretty close, have a tween or teen run a couple easy games (i.e. hot potato, bucket toss, etc...) You may have a wide variety of ages so games may or may not be an option. Supervised jumpies or slides are fun. There is no way of knowing in advance how your 1 year old will act. May be delightful-may cry a lot, may take a nap, may be totally overwhelmed over the number of people and will cling to you the whole day. If there is time, open gifts - I would count on it but it might not happen and don't feel bad about it not happening. Party should have a beginning and ending time - 3 - 4 hours tops. Make sure your child has 1 or 2 nice party outfits, in case they have to be changed quickly. On my daughter's first birthday - she was encouraged to "eat a piece of birthday cake by herself" by her aunt and uncle and was soon whisked away for a quick bath to get cake out of her hair, ears and everywhere else - but came back in a pretty new outfit! Don't stress - it will be great! Take lot's of pictures!

Hi K.-

I just had my baby's 1st Birthday party in January.
We had about 25 pp. in our home.
I wasn't planning on opening her gifts, but one of my friend's sons wanted to see Maddie open the gift he brought and then it turned into one of the best parts of the party!
Other kids helped Maddie open her gifts and some of the BEST photos we got one of our photographer friends took during the gift opening.

I say, just go with the flow.
It's hard to do when you want to plan, but I certainly didn't plan on that and it was a highlight!

Have a great time,
A.

My opinion - don't open the gifts in front of everyone, unless you be sure to tell people they don't have to watch. Seeing the boredom on the adults' faces (especially the ones who don't have kids) after a few gifts have been opened taught me to never do that again.

However, do be sure to send thank you cards. I've been to two bday parties for my friend's children in the last couple of months and the gifts were not opened in front of us (which is fine with me, obviously), but we were never acknowledged/thanked for our gifts. I did put a lot of thought into buying the gifts and to not even be thanked is kind of surprising.

I don't know if it is necessarily bad etiquette, but we did not open gifts for my daughters first birthday party. And I will tell you that guests appreciated it. We set a 2 hours limit for her party, which was long enough for a 1 year old. We opened them together as a small family at home. Actually, it was so overwhelming we spaced the gifts out so she did not get so many toys at once. Months later...she was still getting "new" toys. I took a look at the toys just so I could send thank you cards. We have also been to several first bday parties and they did not open gifts just for the sake of time...and at one they don't totally get the concept of opening gifts. As a guest, I also appreciated not sitting through 50 gifts.

Hi....
I have attended a first bday party where the gifts were not opened because the child fell asleep. We actually left before the gifts were opened because we'd been there for SEVERAL hours and had an hour long drive home. The fact that the party was not in sync with the birhday boy's schedule left it looking like the party/gifts were more for the parents. I would definitly open the gifts while your guests are there. Even though your child is too young to understand, guests will appreciate your reactions to efforts in addition to your thank you notes.

Hello!
We just had my daughter's first birthday party in February. I looked up a few etiquette rules prior to planning as well and had about the same number of guests you are expecting. The sources I checked out all said a definite start and end time are a must, for the kids, not the adults. We did one hour of play and one hour of cake/pizza. At the actual party, we ran out of time for presents because everyone was having such a good time talking. I was a little disappointed, but when we got in the car my daughter passed out immediately, so I know the 2-hour mark was her limit before over-exicted crankiness set in. If we had been paying a little better attention to the clock instead of talking there would have been plenty of time to open gifts - you can do it while everyone is eating. It didn't make too much of a difference though, 1 is still young enough they don't really know what presents are. Also - very strongly recommend NOT having it at your house. We had it at the Center of Elgin and I highly recommend them. Very cheap and you get a lot for your money. They help you monitor the kids, keep to your timeline structure and you don't have to clean up!
Good luck and above all, have fun! This is a celebration for you too - making it through that first year is no small accomplishment!
Mary-Claire

Happy 1st Birthday to your baby!

We keep parties pretty simple now because it allows us to enjoy everybody being together.

If you have a lot of children at the party, one thing that definately will help is having a little "party/gift bag" for each child to open while your baby is opening birthday presents. If the children have stickers and little party toys to open and play with, this will give your baby more time to open presents without all the children swarming in.

Also, take a lot of pictures. The pictures of our girls as tiny one year olds are so precious, and I never seem to take enough pictures because of all the fun of the party. The people who come to the party are also great pictures to take and will be more precious as the years go by.

Have fun!

Let's face it, your child is not going to open the gifts when they are only 1, it will be you anyway. My friend had a first birthday for her daughter and there we over 100 people there. She only opened gifts of people who specifially asked her to open theirs. This way we all got more time to enjoy the party and she was able to open the gifts later when she had time to keep everything in order. That way you can enjoy the party with your guests.

When my niece turned one last July, my husband and I were very disappointed when they did NOT open any gifts at all until after the party ended and everyone had left. My husband and I were so very excited with the gift we got her and we were so anxious to see her reaction when she opened it that it really hurt us to not be able to see the smile on her face.

C.

Hi,

Plan the party around your baby's naps. The start time can be right when you know the baby will wake up. I don't think you need to put an end time - unless you are having it at a location where the location provides a specific end time.
Also, personally, I don't think you need to open gifts. It will be busy enough as it is. Plus you have quite a few people coming to the party. Opening gifts during a party, I have found, is just more stressful. One, other kids always want to grab at the stuff you are opening. You may not want to keep something or may already have that gift and keeping things and gift receipts out of reach of everybody is harder. Some kid may blurt out something embarrassing about a gift like, Mom that was mine why did you give it away. Or you may not like a gift, and even though you don't realize, it may show on your face. Or the gift giver may expect a more enthusiastic reaction. I think its just easier and saves everyone discomfort if the gifts are opened later. I know it sounds mean, but your own baby is most likely going to be overwhelmed by everything as it is - so many people, all the attention, noise etc etc. Don't add to it! I have realized a lot of people don't think too much of it if the gifts aren't opened. A nice thank you card later will do just fine.

Aarti.

hi K.,

We attended a 1st birthday party last year and I was so relieved that they did not open gifts during the party. The Other children there, who will likely be of varying ages, might get upset or jealous and want to play with the new toys or want to tear open the gifts (I know my 3 yr old would have)... And a 1-yr-old will become overwhelmed between gifts and people there. The birthday kid's Mom whisked the gifts away into a back room quickly explaining "we'll open this later, thanks!" and of course sent a thank-you. I just know I appreciated that because we've been to other birthday parties where some of the other kids got genuinely upset because they didn't understand why they weren't getting gifts.

We also went to a birthday party recently where the invitation stated "birthday wishes from (birthday girl) and it listed gift cards from Toys R us, ChuckECheese, WalMart, etc. This was such a relief to just pick up a gift card and know that's what was wanted.

I think it is perfectly fine to indicate an ending time for the party on the invitation, otherwise some people who forgot what it's like to have to schedule around naps won't realize they are over-staying.

hope it's a lovely birthday party!

W.

The best advise i can give you is if the hostess is relaxed, the guest will be too. I would put a certain time for guest to arrive. If you don't mind how long people stay then there's no need for an end time. As for gifts i always enjoy watching the gifts be opened and seeing what the they get. I found that anyone not interested in watching gift be opened will usually be in another room mingling with the other guest.

I know you have already have a lot of responses and I am sorry if I am repeating any information, but at our daughter's 1st birthday party we:

-Had my 12-year niece and some of the other kids help open presents when our daughter got bored.
-I had someone write the presents received on corresponding card, which helped when writing thank-yous.
-I don't know if this is appropriate for a kids party, but at my wedding shower, oen of my bridesmaids had each guest fill out an envelope for their thank you. Saved a lot of time.
-We didn't plan any games/activities because all the kids at our daughter's party were too young and it would have been one more thing to plan.
-Birthday treat bags are always fun. Just remember to make them age and gender appropriate.
-HAVE FUN!!!

With my 1st daughter, her birthday was mostly family and some close friends so we did not choose and end time, just a start time. We opened her presents at the party, and of course let her try as well, and everyone seemed to want to watch her attempt to open as well as see what she had gotten. (I always send thank you notes as well.) If there are going to be older children (over 3 years or so), you might want to have a goody bag for them to take home.

My daughter's first birthday was a disaster and it was mainly because my nephews were just all over the place and in my daughter's face at every opportunity they could. I would recommend not opening the presents because as you can imagine, the baby is too involved in the wrapping paper and bows anyway and will not really take much interest in the presents until they are out of the box. We did open the presents at the party and ALL the kids were all over the gifts and my nephews were grabbing them out of my hands before I had a chance to even look at them. I didn't know what was from who and ended up thanking my girlfriend for something she didn't even give my daughter so I had to figure out who it was from. It got so bad that my sister and I had words with each other during the opening of the gifts because she wasn't doing anything to keep her boys away from the presents. Then my aunt said something to her because her son was all in my daughter's face as she was trying to eat and I told him to leave her alone, but he wouldn't. It was just not a good time and it's all on video, too. :-( We had it at home then, but from then on, we have had her parties at Chuck E Cheese and it's worked out great because it keeps the kids busy. I wasn't going to have her open her gifts, but she really wanted to, but it actually worked out great because although the kids are still in her face, it's not too bad because if they get bored they can go and play games.

I would also recommend making sure you start the party either during your baby's nap or after. I started my daughter's first birthday as she was napping so when she woke up, she was well rested. We didn't have an end time, but I just basically told everyone that it was her bedtime and they all slowly trickled out.

Hope you have a good time!

My two cents:

1. Plan the party time around your child's napping/eating schedule. The last thing you want is your baby to be crabby and annoying to those who do not understand children. Our party was from 3:30 - 6:00, after his nap.

2. We did a buffet style and people started eating around 4:00. We also fed our son his dinner during this time (when his normal dinner occurs).

3. We opened presents before doing the cake. Your baby will probably get messy with the cake and need hosing down. I didn't want to inconvenience my guests by making them wait through that, and I didn't want to have cake goo all over the presents (many of which were books and clothing...do you want to be picking cake out of that?) Also, I 'helped' my son open the presents because even though it is cute to watch a one year old try to open presents, it gets old fast when it takes 10 minutes to rip the paper off of one.

4. Immediately after opening presents we did the cake. We let our child do the whole cake smash thing, then took him to the tub for a quick bath. After we brought him back down and a little more socializing, the party was wrapping up...just in time for his bedtime!

I may be the only person who thinks this, who knows, but I think too many people get swept away by the notion of the first birthday. Yes, you want it to be special, and quite frankly let's be real - this party is more for the parents and the adults. I get that people want to show their guests a great time. Other than lots of pictures and video of the cake smash, my child right now probably has no recollection of the day. That being said, I'm saving more of the 'bigger' and 'cooler' ideas for when he gets older and can appreciate them.

I would maybe not open them and for a few reasons:

1)You may not want to keep the gifts and kids don't always know when to stop unopening the package. You may get stuck with gifts you don't want.

2)For the first couple of birthday parties the time line is very short. It could take your child awhile to do it.

3)The other kids may want to help or may take a toy to play with and your little one may not like that. That can cause some drama.

There is no right or wrong way but thus far, my son is 2, we have not opened the presents at the party. One thing you can do is make it a special time, after the party, where they can open the gifts from friends and from family. We always invite the family back to our place or to stay longer so that they can at least watch their gift be open.

The rest of the advice you have gotten is great. Also, again you don't have to, but you can give nice party favors that are themed and age appropriate.

Congrats!!! It's really what you feel you are comfortable with and what your baby will be. Perhaps a start/end time around naps would work best for you. I would definitely recommend scheduling it around naps for optimal "best" behavior. As far as gift, I had planned to open up at my party but time slipped. I have been to parties where people open and people don't. And for a 1 year old, it is basically mom opening or bigger cousins helping. Always be sure to send a thank you note regardless. Also, I am finding that because times may be whacky to state what you are providing. Examples "Snacks and dessert provided", "Come hungry for an early dinner" or something like that.

Another fun thing for 1 year is maybe doing a time capsule. We did that for my kids ;)

have fun!

I had to laugh when I read your question!!! I do not know that there is proper, etiquette for this-all I can do is share my experiences w/you(I have 4 daughters)-when my twins turned one we had a HUGE party-took me 4 hours to open gifts-no I am not kidding 2 of everything!!! After that I swore I was never opening gifts again!!! For my youngest two daughters' b-day's I did not open gifts-unless someone personally asked me to open their gift. I caught some flack from my in-laws, but dont really care b/c I am the one that has to try and keep everything in order. My feeling on it is that your one y/o is more interested in the paper and with that many other kids(assuming they are older)you are going to have more hands in there than you could imagine-they always want to help. It just creates more chaos than anything. So my suggestion would be to only open a persons gift if they really want you to, or wait until most of the party dies down and you can actually pay attention to what your little one is getting. I also realize that it is especially important to grandparents to see them open their presents so you may want to have them come a little earlier or do it on another day. Again, I dont think there is a right or wrong answer, it just depends on your familys style of doing things. Good luck!!

I had my daughter's 1st birthday party at the local park district. It was pretty cheap- like $80 for 4 hours, I think. That way I didn't have to clean my house and people weren't allowed to linger. ;-) If you want you can ask people to come over afterwards, but when it's a scheduled time, they can't argue. I also opened gifts during the party. The other kids pitched in and my husband took the tissue paper and made a "hat" for my daughter and by the end of opening all the gifts, all the kids had the "tissue hats". It was cute. I had my sister write down all the gifts as they were opened so I didn't forget anything. Hope this helped! Good luck!

yes, have a start and end time. otherwise people linger (we didn't put an end time on the invites and people stuck around for hours! i was so tired and crabby.).

also, we just opened her gifts after people left because the other kids that were there weren't sitting still long enough for anyone to enjoy it. and, really, my daughter quit being interested after like 1 gift and wanted to play with the other kids. a few close relatives watched me open all her gifts later. no one really cared that they didn't get to see her open all the gifts. (we did have almost 60 people - adults and kids - so there were A LOT of gifts to open!)

good luck. i don't know what the proper etiquette is for this occasion, but these are just things we experienced.

Hi K..............my only advice to you is to ALWAYS have a beginning time and an end time. Adults will sometimes hang around longer than necessary while they enjoy the adult conversation but they don't pay attention to their children as they turn your house into an indoor playground. Plus......giving everyone an exit time will allow you to spend quiet time with your child and close family (if you choose) to reminisce about the day and reflect on all the fun that was had. Half the fun I had with my girls was our after parties. Eating all the leftovers, cleaning up the kitchen and talking about everything that happened that day. And let the kids tell you what they enjoyed the most and what they didn't like.

I know your child is very young but remember: You're gonna be exhausted from all the pre-planning and set-up. Your baby is gonna be on overload from the noise and stimulation and getting passed around all day. You'll need time to bond with him/her at the end of the festivities.

You're also setting a pattern for your child to always thank and be grateful to those who took the time to come and celebrate their milestones with you and your family. Gratitude is something we all need to learn early and practice constantly. He/she may only be 10 months old but they feel things and feed off your feelings and attitude. And as far as opening gifts......we all want to be recognized as an important player in life. Your child needs to acknowledge the gift and the person who took the time to give it.
Have a wonderful time!
D.
(My two angels are 17 and 20 and I remember every party and all the fun we had. I'd do anything to go back and relive those days. ;-)

I see you got a ton of responses! Wow! My daughter will be two this August. I think making a big deal for the first birthday part is important. We had her party at our club house (great option if you have one). There is still set up and clean up, but it is better not to be in your house destroying everything. We had about 30-40 people. We tried to break out the food pretty quickly, then the cake immediately after. We did a little clean up, and then I sat with my daughter and opened gifts. People that wanted to stay and watch did and others just mingled. I thought it went really great. Also, I had a DVD made through Shutterfly with a collage of pictures over her first year. It was put to music and it was great to have going throughout the party. It was my favorite part. I hope your party goes as smoothly. I have a lot of great memories from that day and hope her second birthday goes as well. GOOD LUCK!

K.,

Whatever you do will be great. Just remember the party is for your daughter and go by her schedule and how long you think she can handle that many people for the day. Something that is cute if you decide to open the present after the party, take a picture of your daughter with the gift after she opens it and send it with the thank you note. If you decide to open the gifts while the guest are there, and it could take awhile since you are having lots of guests, is to have you or your hubby read the card while the guest opens the gift for her. It will be a lot for her to take in and after a few gifts she will not even care. This way everyone gets to enjoy the gift opening. Especially if you have lots of little kids to help opening the gifts.

If you are many a scrapbook or video of the party you can take pictures of the guests as they arrive or video tape them coming in and having them say a birthday wish.

Good luck

K.