Yes, it's a doozy... but do-able.
Sit down with your Hubby and make sure you are both on the same page... that "staying home" is not a cake-walk, nor a "vacation." Make sure he is "expecting" things from you that are reasonable... some hubby's think just because the wife is home, that everything will be like "martha stewart" everyday. No, it's not.
And, if you go to school... it will be busier.
So, you have to BOTH, get straight about it, the expectations for EACH spouse, and HOW things will be managed if you go to school. And what each Spouse will be DOING, DAILY to manage the home and kids....and the pet.
Your Hubby, yes, he will be the bread-winner...but once home, it's not a "vacation" for him either.. he STILL has to participate and help. Make clear you both understand this... or you will be too stressed out, and it won't be "fair" for you to be doing these things, 24/7.
I am a SAHM, my Hubby works AND goes to school. He's busy. But, anytime he is home and has time, he helps. At certain times, like dinner, or bathing the kids or before they go to bed... I tell him I expect him to come and give face-time or "play" time to the kids. Unless he is under extreme deadlines or exams... I don't ask for the world. I know he is busy and school is important. AND, when I need a break or need to get away... I tell him... giving him a head's up, and not at the last moment or the last string of patience I have left.
It just all has to be fair... and do-able for BOTH.
Make a schedule and have a routine for yourself everyday.. .for the house chores & errands, for the kids, for cooking, for cleaning, for YOUR time to just do nothing, for appointments, etc. What helps me is having a daily time-line and routine... which my kids BY NOW, know like the back of their hand... and so this helps. AND my kids both NAP... then it's "me" time. Like now. I do not stray from naps. It is a daily routine. This works well for me and the kids.
There are SO many tips and ideas... so make it work. But yes, it's also overwhelming. Don't worry... all Moms go through this. When you are just too stressed... do nothing. Just stop. Just drop the chores and sit down and veg. It's OKAY. ALSO, tell your Hubby... you must BOTH be open and amicable about it, and so that everything won't just pile up on one Spouse.
BOTH spouses HAS TO participate in the household, the kids, the daily obligations. Not just you, just because you are the "house-wife." And especially if you will be going back to school... that is a lot of things to have on your plate. Your Hubby will HAVE to give you time to study... which means, HE will have to handle the children and household when you are studying or away for class.
AND, you will need to have YOUR own time to just get away and have "alone" time too. Make sure your Hubby understands this... a SAHM is not synonymous will "24/7 maid service"... nor is she a 24-hour entertainer or "pleaser" for EVERYONE in the house... PLUS also having to please Hubby and make sure that your own time or closeness as a COUPLE does not get lost in the shuffle. THIS is what a SAHM does too.
For me, when I am just too tired/burnt out/overwhelmed... I just tell my Hubby with a "smile" on my face... "Darling, I'm not doing anything today, no cleaning, no rushing around, no chores.... I need a break." And he immediately "knows" this is my NEED to do it, and be okay. And yes, it's okay. No need to be a "perfect" house-wife... just do your best, and what is manageable.
Just ask your Hubby, what are HIS expectations, with you being home? Discuss it. Get on the same page. Be FAIR about it. Always communicate about it. That is the best advice I can give.
Well all the best, you'll get lots of tips here.
~Susan