2 1/2 Year Old and Trouble Sleeping

I have the exact same problem with my youngest son. He rarely sleeps through the night since birth and after the beginning of the year he has started to get out of his "big boy bed" and get in with us in the middle of the night. I have tried some of the same things and have come up empty, so I could use some of the same advice.

A little about me. I am a 40 year old working mother of two, seven years old and two years old.

I GUARANTEE you that child is hyperactive. It sounds exactly like my son and at 7 I had to put him on Ritalin because he was miserable and made everyone he was around miserable and the teachers could not deal with him either. It started as a bed baby and progressed. He was diagnosed at 3 but we could not medicate him until 7. I hated to medicate him but his life was so miserable. Good luck.

I do not have any suggestions. I just wanted you to know that he sounds just like both of my kids. I end up staying with them at night so I can get some sleep. I am a light sleeper so I think that maybe they are too. Hope things work out with you all. Hang in there!

I sounds like you are doing everything right.
My children were never allowed to sleep in the bed with my husband and me. They could come in and be comforted and eased back to sleep. We either put them back to bed (which you say doesn't work) or we made a pallet on the floor next to my side of the bed. i could reach over the side of the bed and pat them back to sleep but didn't put up with all the kicking, twitching, tossing and turning. all that twitching is in actuality good sleep for him, but interruptions for you. i would also give him some benadryl to help keep him in a deeper sleep. at least if you put him on the pallet over and over, you don't have to go very far. when my kids were in the height of the nightmare stage, I would just put them to bed on the pallet everynite, for as long as it took. which was a while, measured in months. but i learned to groggily, say mommies here, and pat,pat,pat. your'e fine, go back to sleep. and they did. and i never left the bed. even in the middle of the night, as they got older, i would not hear them come in. they would drag a blanket and i would find them on the floor next to my side of the bed in the morning. asleep with their own pallet. all the blankets off their bed. i learned to always get up very carefully to avoid a sleeping child. but just sleeping in the room with me was enough to make them feel secure enough to go back to sleep.
i would imagne that your grandson is having some unpleasant dreams and doesn't understand it, or doesn't know how to verbalize it. or he would not be seeeking some form of comfort in the middle of the night. and then it just becomes a habit.
good luck,
L.

You might check with the daycare and see what his sleeping habits are and if he is sleeping excessivly there. You might check his diet at the daycare also and keep track of what he is eating and see if there is some conection.
Good luck & God bless

I would definatly talk to a pediatrician about this. My son was the same way. From birth he NEVER slept well until he was about 3ish. At first he had allergies and asthma, then he started night terrors so what first started as just "restless" turned into raging fits during the night. I remember most nights I would get up every hour with him and it was so exhausting. His allergies are so severe that he takes a medication to make him drowsy and rest well and that also reduces his night terrors. One thing I have read is that if you make sure they go to bed on an empty bladder they will rest better. I'm sure I didn't help much but I think it is very important to talk to the pedi about this so they can have a running record.

My three yr old has never been a good sleeper either. When we would go visit family and he slept with us he would also toss and turn all night. Ar home he sleeps in his own bed but we have to go a couple of times a night to settle him.(put blanket on and such) Now that he has switched from his crib to a toddler bed and goes to bed before he has gone to sleep(before he would sit with my husband,fall asleep,then my husband would carry him to the crib) it is much better. Usually we only have to go to him once a night,if that. I think its just because he is maturing more and getting more confidence. So I say,just hang in there. I would suggest not letting him get in the bed with you. Maybe put a safety gate up at night in his doorway so that he can't come crawl in bed with you. He will keep doing this till you put your foot down. My sis has a 5 yr old who still comes and gets in bed with her!!! Good luck! And yes he will howl the roof off the first time he encounters the gate but he will get the message that he is to sleep in his bed,in his room. You have to set boundaries. Go to him the first time and put him back in his bed. Tell him he has to sleep in his big boy bed. The next time ignore him. It sounds harsh but it will work.

We went through this with my cousin.......Toddlers like your grandson should get 12 to 14 hours of sleep each night but it's not unusual for him to have a hard time sleeping at night. He may still be adjusting to living with you instead of his mother. It can take a young child a while. My cousin was 2 years old and we were told it was most likely seperation anxiety which can spark in a child that is 2-3 years old. Your grandson may be experiencing this with his mother which makes it harder to adjust. Other things it could be is sleep apnea or ADD which would both have to be diagnosed by a doctor. Some tips that we were given were to lay down with her at night and then gradually move away from the bed when she starts to fall asleep. This could give him more comfort. Another option was to lay a sleeping bag down on the floor in our room and when she woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to sleep with us, she could sleep there, but letting her sleep with us could just make things worse. When he starts getting used to that, tell him that big boys sleep in their own rooms all night and tell him that if he does this all week, he can sleep with you on Sunday or whatever day works for you. One more thing, if he doesn't take naps during the day you could try having him do that. A lot of kids won't complain before they go to bed, but the reason they don't sleep well is because they're overly tired and need more rest. kids should usually stop taking naps between ages 3 and 5. I hope this helps! If none of these things work you may need to ask a doctor about sleep apnea or ADD.

I only have a minute to reply so I'll make it quick. Take a look at buying this book: http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...
Then try putting him to bed 20 minutes EARLIER than you are. Skip the quite play time and try a short book instead. The trick is to find his best time to go down and moving his bed time by 20 minute increments until he sleeps soundly - and then hold to it like a sleep soldier. I know it sounds a bit extreme, but if Momma and Papa get a good night sleep ... everyone will be happier in the morning.

Note: A month of routine is FANTASTIC! Remember that nothing happens overnight and your loving home with structure may be the first such boundaries he's had ... he might just need reassurance that you're there. Hold him close and know that just like rolling over and walking this too will pass.

My prayers are with you and God's abundant blessing for extending your love to the next generation.

Suzi

Have you tried before going to bed making a little place next to your bed where he can sleep if he wakes up and wants to come in your room? Our kids are 2 & 4 and occasionally the 4 year old son want to come in and (like you say) ours is a mover in bed & none of us get rest with him in it....so he knows we have a little place for him if he comes in there. Good luck!

I have a son who is almost 3 and a 18 month plus 6 monhs pregnant. We recently moved our 2 sons into their own room, since both had slept wih us for there short but long lives we thought moving them would be horrible. However, I did some thinking and decided security is what they need most so I went to Sam's and bought a 40 dollar camera set it up in there room attached it to the t.v in my room I showed my boys that I could see them the whole time they slept. I also put up a baby gate in their door so no one could escape. Just an idea it took a week and we have never looked back. Thanks B.

I have a two year and am going through the same thing. He has never been a good sleeper and even when he sleeps with his father and I he toss and turns all night. I find him in his bed some nights crying but he is laying all twisted up. I think in time this will pass. He probally misses his mother and even though he is young he is still adjusting. Keep up the good work and the love I am sure it will get better.

My son did this when he was a little around 4 years old. We made a pallet (sleeping bag & pillow) next to our bed. When he woke up at night he went straight to it without waking us up and we would find him there in the morning. That went on for what seemed like a long time. He is 7 now and has no problems sleeping in his own bed all night. I think it's just a phase that some kids go through.

G., First let me say that you sound like a wonderful grandmother. Your grandhild is lucky to have such a blessing, I'm sure you feel the same about him.
Anyway, I have a 4.5 yr old son who has been the same way since birth as well. He still comes to get in our bed at night. While his sleep was terrible with us when he was younger, it's much better now. My husband and I have just come to terms with this and accept it now. We also tried EVERYTHING when he was younger!!! Sometimes it just better to follow their lead on things when they are children.
Maybe your grandson is really needing that bond with you. Sounds like things have been a little disrupted in his life recently. Is there an option of putting a bed in his room for you or your husband to share with him on alternating nights so that each one of you is getting a good sleep every other night? Maybe with just one of you sharing a bed with him, he won't be as squirmy?
Just try and remember... he won't be in highshcool sleeping in your bed with you LOL, this time will pass...
If you feel there is something more to this problem, ask the pediatrician for a referral to a child sleep clinic so they can see if there is something more to the issue.

hope this helps,
Hugs,
S.

Hi G.:

Does your grandson snore?

My older son used to snore (which children are not supposed to do), and actually stop breathing for a few seconds. It woke him up all the time.

We had to have his adenoids removed. It was causing the snoring and sleep apnea.

Just a thought...

Is his mother staying in the house with him? If not, that could be part of the issue. Although I am sure you have a very loving and stable home, even at 2yrs old he is of course aware that his mommy is gone! It is to bad that he is to young for counseling (even play therapy), as I am sure he needs it. Not that something is wrong with him, just that I have a 2 yr old son and I can not imagine how either of us would cope without the other. You might try to do play-time before or after dinner instead of right before bed, and instead of quiet play time I would suggest some hard play!!! Try to get him to exert all of his energy and then put him in a nice warm bath! Good luck!

Hi G.,

Have you tried putting a gate in his doorway to prevent him from being able to leave his room during the night? We have one in our daughters doorway and it works wonders. If she gets out of bed, she might hang around at the door for a few minutes, but she goes right back to bed on her own. If you try a gate, you might find that he'll end up sleeping on the floor every now and then but he'll eventually make his way back into his bed on his own.

My daughter (who is 2 1/2 too) usually doesn't sleep in the bed with us - it becomes more of a party for her than anything! Ha! But when she does, she tosses and turns, flips and flops. I eventually take her back to her room because then I can't sleep. I think all that is normal and wouldn't worry about it so much with your grandson.

My advice is to try a gate. Good luck!

-Char

I have a friend who has an almost 2 year old. She wasn't sleeping through the night until about 6 months ago. She wasn't taking a nap during the day and when she started taking naps she started sleeping through the night. I would check and see about his nap times at daycare maybe he is not getting enough or getting too much. Hope this helps!

G.,
First of all, blessings to you for taking such great care of your grandchild! He is truly lucky to have such a loving home. This sounds exactly what happened with my 2nd child(who will be 4 in June). Actually, she is still not the best sleeper and never has been. There are a few things we've tried and with a lot of patience, things are much better.

First, we went to the Dr. and our little one had lots of fluid on her ears and that was causing discomfort. What does your Dr. say or advise???? We ended up having to put tubes in her ears and that's when things really started looking up but b/c she had gotten in the habit of needing to be soothed, it did not take care of the problem entirely.

Second, we started giving incentives for staying all night in her bed...now, we said she could call out to us but could NOT get out of bed. If she accomplished this, she would get a very small "surprise". Then we graduated to not calling out. The first night she went through the night without calling out OR getting out of bed...we took her to Wal-Mart and she got to pick out a toy (within a certain price range). She still gets up and calls out but only when there is something external going on that she needs some extra comforting.

I wish you all the luck and sorry this is so long...hope it helps!
C.

As exhausting as it is, you have to bring him back to bed every time so he realizes that is what is going to happen. I didn't have major problems with this, but I have also been known to walk them back to bed and lay with them in their bed until they fall asleep and then head back to my own bed.

It sounds like he's going through a transition time right now. That may be the cause. My kids got in bed with me almost every night while my husband was serving overseas. I didn't mind it then, and amazingly, it stopped when he came home.

Hopefully after a few nights of being brought back to bed he'll stay there and you won't be tired forever!

Another thought is to offer rewards for him if he stays in bed. If it's every night, the first time he stays in his bed all night he gets something special (new toy, ice cream, etc.) Then, he gets a reward after 3 nights of staying in his bed, then after a week, then, once it's consistant, a big reward for doing it for say a month straight, and then no more rewards, it will be normal.

i would definitely let your pediatrician / family doctor know about this. he may want to send you to a neurologist for extensive testing. my 5 year old will still get out of bed and come get in bed with us. she's very "touchy feely" and needs to feel me beside her. she has epilepsy and although we don't know this for sure, feel that she can sense she's about to have a seizure so she comes to me because she's scared or at the minimum, concerned something isn't right. i don't want to scare you, but it is an option and needs to be ruled out. God's best to you. T.

Your grandson may be experencing night terrors. I had a daughter that I believe had this same problem and didn't sleep thru the night until she was 3 or 4. It does get better. Parents Magazine usually has an article about night terrors. Look up online. Good luck.
S.

It could be alot of things. But based on the twitching, etc. it sounds to me like he might be deficient in magnesium. There's a product call Natural Calm and they make one especially for kids. It's just magnesium with some natural flavoring (raspberry/lemon) and a natural herbal sweetener (stevia). I use this for myself as I was also having sleep issues and muscle cramps, etc. at nite. The only side effect of too much magnesium is diarrhea, so just watch out for that and start with a low dose. Also, you might look at his overall diet and he might benefit from a snack at nite of a slice of turkey or a rice cake (the turkey has tryptophan, which helps with sleep and carbs can be sleep promoting and the protein in the turkey (or try peanut butter) will help him sleep better if he's wakeful due to low blood sugar). I also have to do this myself at nite as I would awaken too early due to elevated cortisol from low blood sugar. He also may be overall deficient in B vitamins if his mother did not have a good diet when she was pregnant (b vitamins are stored in the liver of the fetus and the levels are depleted typically around 6 or 7 IF the mother had good levels). So, in short, I would talk to the pediatrician and/or a good nutritionist about adding some supplements to his diet.

First I want to say what a GREAT Grandma you are to be taking on this responsibility. I have a 7 year old who STILL doesnt sleep through the night. She never has. Here is what I have done lately to try and help the bed time routine. I have her take a bath in Johnson & Johnson night time bath soap. Then i use the lotion. Both have Lavender in them and it seems to help. After bath its off to bed. I read her a story or she reads to me. When she comes into our room at night I take her back, sit with her for 5 min and rub her head. It seems to help right know. I understand not getting sleep. I'm lucky if i can get 4 hours. Keep doing what you are doing, and try the lavender bath and lotion. If all else fails have bed time 30 min eariler. hope this helps

I am 29 yrs old and I work part-time at my son's preschool. I only have one son. He is also 2 1/2 years old. We went through the same thing. No matter what we did he'd always end up back in our bed. We stopped fighting it and let him come to our bed then none of us got any sleep. We finally decided to push back his bedtime by a half hour. Now he makes it all the way until my alarm goes off. I don't know if one has anything to do with the other...I'm just thankful.

Sounds like my grandson. He does not sleep either and has been this way since birth. He was a premie. We can't get him to stay asleep in his own bed either. If you ind a solution please let me know.
M.

G. - I feel your pain. My daughter is 4 1/2 and we've been there lots. My only suggestion is to stick with taking him back to his bed b/c eventually I do believe he'll stay in his bed. One thing that works for me is to take her back to her bed and let her fall asleep w/ me lying on the floor (sounds terrible but it keeps me from waking her when I leave the room). When she wakes up the next morning, she gets a sticker on her sticker chart to reward her (10 stickers gets her a prize) and she gets lots of big girl praise! Good luck!

G.,
What I am about tot ell you, you might think is a bad thing to do, but, My 2 grandsons use to do my daughter the same way. Even one would lay on the floor next to her big kind size bed and sleep. Her husband would put them back in their beds and about 10 minutes later there they are again. They found leaving a tv on with very little volume, enough to make them think someone is in there with them. The light as night light, they are afraid of the dark.I'm thinking from my own experiences as a young girl, I had nightmares every night. My Mom didn't know what to do either, but I found a little light helped me, now I can't stand a light on in the same room. Even at 11 and 10 now. I always go in there after about midnight and turn off the tv but I have a night light in there also, so the light still works. They sleep all night though. This has been going on since they were 2 and 3. So, maybe try a small tv, black n white would work on the Sesame street channel would do fine. I think it's just the sound they are use to and the light keeps boogie man away. Good Luck
Shirley

Dear G.,
I sure wish I could tell you that he will get better at sleeping. My son is now 8 and he has been the same way. We did alter his diet slightly. He still comes to sleep with us and we still walk him back to his room. He does it for some reassurance and contact sometimes. He also is a sleep walker. We do what we can to keep him safe. He has urinated in the hallway on a couple of occasions because he is asleep!
He is a well adjusted boy and does very well in school. He has a great mind and a loving heart. He just is a very active body at night. THe older he gets the less often it occurs. Regular bedtimes, schedules, and active days help a lot. Reading to him also helped when he was younger, now he would rather read himself.

What about his diet? Does he have alot of sugar or caffeine? Chocolate has caffeine as well. I would call his pediatrician also. Have you tried Johnson and Johnson Chamomile bath wash, shampoo and they even have bar soaps and a gel and lotion. Its calming and could help I know it works for us and its amazing to see how sleepy and relaxed it makes kids. However, I'm a believe in what your child eats has alot to do with how they act! Does he have any other behavior traits or issues you can think of? Look beyond what you think is nothing and write everything down that could be an issue no matter how small you think it is and see his doctor. He or she should be able to help. Please let me know how this turns out. God bless you all and good luck. I'm the mother of a blind 4yr old girl so I know alot about challenges and how with the right information you can change your childs habits and help them overcome any obstacle. I also have a very healthy "normal" if there is such a thing! 18 mnth old boy.

S. Ashcraft

Legal Assistant

Progressive Concepts, Inc.

There are so many possibilities with it is hard to answer. My older brother did the samething, and he had ADD. He would awaken everynight, and my parents would find him on the floor in the hallway!

It could be adjustment. He is simply not secure yet, which could adjust itself with time. Once he realizes that is his room, and he is not going anywhere, it may work itself out! The major problem is giving him that time. Do not uproot him to quickly. Sometimes, it is what is best for the child. Routine is always best! Changing those things may cause more issues!

When he comes to your room, just let him sleep on the floor beside your bed. You may even have a little pillow/blanket waiting for him. If he truly needs you, this should be close enough. If he doesn't, it probably won't be worth the effort to come into your room if he is having to sleep on the floor.