2 1/2 Year Old Regresses with Poo Training! Please Help!

Updated on May 01, 2009
M.B. asks from Denver, CO
11 answers

Potty Training Woes!!! Help! So my 2 1/2 year old son is potty trained and he WAS poo trained also. And then all of a sudden he regressed with the poo training! Now he will sneak away and get quiet and go poo in his underwear! I don't know what to do! We have tried incentives for him, treats, taking away stuff, talking to him about it....we are at our wits end. Any suggestions would be wonderful! Thank you! I am a stay at home mom of 2 active and loving boys and wife to a hardworking and wonderful husband. ~M.~

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A.B.

answers from Bellingham on

I've heard of this with friends children...we are not quite that far in our potty training. What they have done is offer a nice family trip to a child friendly place. Show him pictures of it and how the family will go when he goes poo in the potty without accident for a period of time that you feel is appropriate...(they used a month then went to Disneyland). Worked like a charm. You can use a coveted toy or other family activity that hasn't been done before like a trip to a children's museum, etc.

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A.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Try some serious bribery - buy some big toys and show them to him and tell him he can have it after he goes poo in the toilet. Figure the cost of the toys will be cost savings in pull ups. When/if he has an accident in his pants, tell him "oh, that's too bad you can't have the toy" (and be sure to show him what he's missing out on), "maybe next time if you go poo in the toilet you can have the toy". We also bought some sprinkly cookies and when he did poo in the toilet we celebrated by all eating them (me, DH, DS-7, and DS-3), and we thanked him for pooping in the toilet so we could all eat cookies. He got a toy too!

We struggled with this for over a year on/off pee/poop trained, etc - from age 2 1/2 until just this month when we started the hardcore bribery (dr recommended), and he has finally started consistently going in the toilet.

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K.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Don't get emotionally involved. I know, next to impossible, but he really senses every sigh, questioning remark, all that stuff and kids take it in as shame. When you're not in the situation of dealing with cleaning up a mess, sit and talk with him about it, and be positive about how it's been a long time since he's pooed in the potty. Try to figure out why? (good luck) and address any issues he may have. He probably just doesn't want to take the time to do it, clean himself, maybe the toilet spalshes cold water back up on his bum when it drops, he's afraid of falling in, ... who knows?!? Good luck.

My boy was nearly 4, and he never pooed until I started making him clean himself and his underwear out after every BM. - that took commitment on mom's part, let me tell you - Hang in there! :D

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A.H.

answers from Denver on

My daughter was fantastically trained with tinkles in the potty but not poopies. Just refused - screamed and thrashed when we tried to put her on there when it was obvious she needed to go. She, too, would go into a corner and poop in her undies. We tried the stickers and M&Ms - tons of incentives that had worked on the initial tinkles, and they didn't work. It was tiresome, but we knew that in time she'd do it on her own terms.

We told her a few months before an unrelated milestone that when that occasion happened, she'd need to start doing poopie in the potty. Thus not pressuring her immediately, but preparing her. The time came, and we were shocked that from that day on, she made the decision to go poopy in the potty! And has ever since. She was tinkle-trained at 2 1/2, poopy by 3.

Long story short, it'll happen in time. When he's ready; on his terms. Just remember there are few, if any, 10 year olds not going to the potty.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

"Potty Training in a Day" is recommended by Dr. Phil. I read a part of it and it was very funny! It seemed to have good suggestions for the older child. You might check it out. I understand your pain. Our 2nd never seemed to care until we told him the boys were going to get some time with Grandma, and he couldn't go if he wasn't going to keep his pants clean. He did great, and has ever since! GL!

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K.B.

answers from Denver on

It is normal. Just clean him up, don't get upset, and get on with your day. He'll get back on track.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

The best advice I can give about potty training is to make it as stress free as possible. Little kids usually respond SO much better to the reward system. Find something he really likes to do and when he poops in the toilet, he gets to do it. If he likes cars, then get him some car stickers to put in his SPECIAL book each time he poops. I would say it is his little power play and if it does not get mommy upset than he will go on the toilet. Just keep an eye on him and help him along. Maybe Lightning Mcqueen underwear would catch his attention. Be sure to tell him that he does not want to get Lightning dirty.

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C.K.

answers from Denver on

He may just not be ready and realized that it is more important to you than it is to him. Also, it is very important not to use shame in your motivation techniques! Potty training is also about control and since you cannot force the issue, making a huge deal out of it can invite the power struggle.

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S.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

potty trianing was awhile ago for us but we had a similar problem the hardest and most important thing to do is refrain from showing any emotion when we had this problem I would calmly help him clean out his underwear and hang them up to dry we did not discuss it afterward as this seemed to make him feel like he was being punished keep in mind that while you don't want to hurt or upset him cleaning up after him means he has no natural consequences and therfore has no reason to try and change the behavior also infrequent rewards when he did remember to go in the potty along with lots of positive reinforcement was very helpful

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

If he is fairly regular, make sure you set a timer and take him to go try around that time. If nothing else every hour take him in and have him try. Be more aware of where he is and if he is going to sneak off and try and catch him to put him on the potty.

Fighting him won't work. Getting angry won't work. However the best incentive is taking his big boy priviledges away until her re-earns them back. Just be matter of fact. Simply saying "well I thought you were ready, guess not, okay well let me know". He knows the urge enough to sneak off so that isn't the problem, it is about power struggle.
If he has a few things he earned from previously potty training, collect them back and tell them when he is ready he can have them back. The best incentive for my son was Transformers, he wanted one so badly, however told him those were for bigger boys, he was potty trained in two weeks! No joke. He was also 38 mos then too.

He is still young, regression happens so easily. It is a power struggle now and you won't win. My suggestion,take the yuck factor and headache out of it, put him back into pullups and tell him when he is ready to be a big boy to let you know...then let it go. When he does go by himself, then celebrate each time. Be thankful at 2 1/2 he has come this far as in boys that is rare! :)

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

keep being positive, and do not treat it like a big deal. put him back in a diaper if it's really driving you crazy, as this is not your sanity, and continue loving your child. ;)

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