2 1/2 Year Tried Day Care School

If you do not NEED him to go to daycare, I would wait until he is a bit older. He will have many many years ahead of him to go to school. Why don't you sign up for some mom and tot classes. This way he will have the chance to be with other children, but still have the comfort of having M. around. Two and a half is still pretty little. If he is not ready for school, no worries, there is no reason why he should have to go.

Mom, this is just the beginning, wait till kindergarten, wait till first day of middle school, then High school, then college.. It is all exactly the same.

Your son is little, but he will be fine. YOU need to be strong. YOU need to set the tone. If you act nervous upset, concerned and react he can not only see it but sense it.

Daycare is a fun place. It is not scary. It is him that is freaked out because it is a change, but guess what? He will get used to it and eventually is going to love it.

He is going to become a little more independent, he will see what the other kids can do and will want to do it too. Have you considered having another child? If you do, there will be huge changes, but your son will be better prepared, because he will know that changes do not have to be scary.

This is not unusual, even kids in kindergarten who have never attend day care can be like your son is acting now. Your son will have a heads up. He is going to be so proud that he is a big boy and can be a big buddy to the kids that are scared.
Hang in there. I am sending you strength.

I think most mom's understand that challenging our children in all sorts of siutations is part of our job - it's not always comfortable for us or our kids but it's part of the growing up process. That said, I feel like this situation may not be the time to push him to adapt - if you needed to utilize this option because you didn't have other alternative for care you would probably just have to buckle-up and you both hang on for the ride. But the sense I get is that the purpose of putting him in school for a bit is to benefit him for social reasons - which we also tried when my son just turned 3 - so I get the motivation. My gut instinct here says let him stay home, transition him to preschool gradually for a smoother transition when the time comes, and don't worry about his eating habits. You describe him as happy go-lucky and jolly - if he's hungry he will eat. You don't mention that the Dr. is concerned so unless there's some medical/malnutrition issue at hand, remember that your son's body is already equipped with the mechanisms to tell him to eat when he's hungry and stop when he's full. It will all work out. You sound like a loving mom who just wants the best for her child. Good luck!

Hi, I had to go back to work full time 2 years ago when my boys were 16 months and 2 1/2. There is a transition process and they do grow more comfortable in the new environment, but that being said, do you need him to be in preschool/daycare? If it is something you are doing to help with socialization, and maybe so you can go grocery shopping alone :) then could you start with shorter hours? Maybe leave him there for a few hours in the morning so he can have morning snack with the group, then pick him up before nap time so he can get rest in his usual place.

If you do need him there so you can work, how do his teachers seem? Maybe there is a different daycare that would be a better fit? Or if you are comfortable with the teachers then give it a couple more weeks and he should start to feel more comfortable there. Kids pick up on your feelings more than you know, so you can't show any hesitation or sadness when leaving him. Be sure to tell him "you are going to play with your friends, have lunch, take a nap, and then mommy will come pick you up" - or whatever his day will look like. Then have a short little good-bye routein you do with him every day, my younger one likes a hug, kiss and eskimo kiss. If you stay too long it can make it harder to say good bye. Good luck!!!

Dear R., by all means, bring your sweet baby home with you! He wants you. There is no need to put him in a daycare when you are available for him. Poor little sweetie. I would have cried, too. If you want to have a role model for him in his eating, you can have a playdate over who might be a better eater. That way, he is in his own environment, safely with his precious Mommy, comfortable, content. And, he might learn a little bit about eating. If you don't know anyone, that's okay, too. They learn eventually how to add more variety into their diets. It isn't a huge deal, as long as he is eating something. They go through phases. Don't punish yourself over this. You learned something so valuable in it. And, he will not remember it in time. Love him, squeeze him, give him kisses. And keep him at home with you. Sounds like you are both happier that way. Toddlers don't need "socialization" in preschools. Honestly, they just need the safety and comfort of home and family. You are his best teacher. :) Blessings to you!

If you are able to bring him home with you then take him out. there is no reason for him to have to feel that way if you are around at home. If you want him to be around other, join a mom/tot class and ask some of the mom's to stay after for lunch together or dinner a few times or join a mom's playgroup..
Really it will come in time, if he eats really well one meal and not well the next two he is still doing well. if he is steadly gaining weight then maybe the expectations you have may need to be changed. Does he complain of being hungry between meals?
good luck with whatever you decide to do

Hi R.,

My heart goes out to your little boy and to you! This day care situation is NOT working for your little boy and it is OK to pull him out and wait. Children always prefer being with their parents over caregivers and that is natural. He wants to be with you. He's still very young and there is no need to start him in this day care / preschool situation.

One of the other gals mentioned a co-op preschool. I can't agree more! You won't be able to enroll him until he is 3 and that is probably best for your little guy. The preschool will most probably be in the morning and only for a few hours which will be perfect to ease him into a school setting. Make sure the preschool you chooses allows you to stay until he is comfortable with you leaving, even if it means you are at the school for the first few days or even weeks.

Many children have trouble transitioning from home to preschool and again from preschool to kindergarten. I worked in a kindergarten for 2 years and saw many children who had a tough time adjusting to a new school even though they had spent 2 years in preschool.

I wrote a book about helping children adjust to kindergarten. I also wrote an article that you may want to read about what to do to prepare your child for kindergarten. You can use the same ideas to help your son ease into preschool when it's time. Here's the link:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Getting-Ready-For-the-First-Day...

Best wishes to you and your family!

~P. G.
Portland Preschool Directory
We can help you start your own local preschool directory!
http://www.PortlandPreschoolDirectory.com
http://www.MrsGowing.com

I have a BA in Child Development, am a stay at home mom of two, and I have worked in several different day cares - great ones and horrible ones. The conclusion I came to is that day care is not appropriate for children. It is stressful, and although they are "fine," (meaning many children learn to adapt out of the neccessity to not have a nervous breakdown.) they are not "good" or "happy" or "joyful" the way children who are home with their loving mommies are. Now, I have witnessed children who are happier in day care than at home because their home is MORE stressful and chaotic and they crave the routine they get in day care, but this is the exception, not the rule. Your son is clearly saying that he needs you, keep him home. The reason you are both crying and distressed is because you are responding properly to his needs, your mommy senses are telling you that this is wrong for him and for you. I second the mom who said that while at home, only offer him healthy snacks and meals (children eat better if they have lots of small snacks throughout the day). A few bites of cereal in the morning, a couple apple slices a bit later, some broccoli and cheese and crackers before nap, a yougurt when he wakes up, green beans and pears with cottage cheese early evening, some baked chicken and whole wheat toast later evening, and some sliced grapes and crackers before bed. Give plenty of milk and water throughout the day and you're set! Whatever he chooses to eat will be healthy and you don't have to worry about him being hungry if he skips one snack because another is coming soon! I always carry an apple and a bag of raisins everywhere I go so that when one of my kids says they're hungry (which is inevitable), I have something healthy to hand them. Don't coax and beg, just offer the food calmly, if he doesn't want it move on with your day. (this of course doesn't apply if he is having serious health issues or weight gain issues that your pediatrician needs you to address!) keep him home, keep you both happy, it will all be fine!

Hi. Two and a half is really young for a preschool. The co-op is a good idea. My oldest went to one and he liked it alot. Plus you will probably see your son there regularily since co-ops you have volunteering to help run it. It is also cheaper than a regular preschool. I had problems with my youngest transitioning from baby food to regular foods. It was actually the last stage of baby food he wouldn't eat. It was very frustrating. I eventually got him to eat speghettio's and was able to move up that way. I know speghettio's aren't the best thing, but it was better than starving. Sit him with you when you eat and offer him small bites of your food also. That will also be like what you want him see at the daycare. My ped told me along time ago, they can go along time on a peanut, and when they are really hungry they will eat. It just drives us crazy trying to get them too.

I am a ex k-1 teacher and this is my opinion: I worked in two schools which provided daycare. And I was a daycare for one year myself.

I would put him in a co-op preschoool where you go with him one day a week. The class would only last a couple of hours and there would be plenty of moms there to hold him when you weren't there.

If you can't find a co-op preschool find a regular preschool and go there. They only last a couple of hours.

A full day is too much for your son. He needs you for most of the day. If you keep him in that school. Pick him up before nap time. And don't take him every day--two or three days a week is plenty at his age.