2 3/4 Year Old Totally Dependent on Pacifier- How Do I Wean??

Something as comforting as a pacifier is a challenge to wean a child from. After all, what is his incentive? He has been falling asleep with it for almost 3 years and it has never let him down. A pacifier is a child's friend... how do you wean someone off of a friend?

Unless there is some medical reason for him weaning, I'd let him keep it until he is ready to let go himself. Start by talking about it... find books about it and discuss it with him.

You can start by suggesting that when he is a BIG boy he will no longer need it ~ but don't tell him at what age, week or day he will become a big boy or he will resist it. Give him the idea that it is something that just happens to big boys... they just know that they are big and don't need their pacifier anymore.

One day he will come to you and announce that NOW he is a big boy and doesn't need his pacifier. This will happen as having a baby around will solidify for him the difference between him (the BIG boy) and his brother (the baby).

Don't push... Do discuss... suggest... and wait. He'll come to it all on his own if you talk about it rather than mandate it.

My 2 year old was totally dependent on her "bye" (as she called it) and I thought that by the age of 1 she wouldn't have it any longer...that never happened and I didn't know how we were going to get rid of it either. This is what happened to her bye .... my husband would always hold on to it with his teeth when he would get her in and out of her car seat. He accidently bit it and put a small rip in it. One night Grace had it in her mouth and holding it with her teeth. She bit through it so it was "broken". That was it! She looked at it and said broken.... I thought we were in for long nights. The first night she cried and cried so I brought it in to her and showed it to her and said remember it is broken. She slept with it for the next few nights/nap time and even brought it to daycare. She talked about it being broken the next few days and that was it. So I would suggest cutting the tip of it off or ripping it. Or you could even replace it with something else like a blanky or stuffed animal. if you don't already have one of them. She also has a blanket that she brings every where so I also used that as when we would put her to bed. Good luck and let me know how it goes!!!

When my daughter was 1 1/2 we started to only give her the "nuk" at nap and bedtime. We just hid them all and only gave them to her when she was in her bed. Gradually we threw all but one away and then when she was two, we saw she had started to bite through the nuk, so we threw it away. The first night she whined a little and the next day at nap time she asked for it, but that was all it took.

My aunt finally cut up and threw all my cousin's away (she was 5) and when she asked for it, they told her the dog ate it and there were no more.

I went through almost the same thing. My oldest was almost three and I had a 1 1/2 year old both using nuks at nap and bedtime. I told my oldest that when he turned 3 he was going to be a big boy and he didn't need the nuks anymore. Shouldn't we send them to some babies that need them. We talked about it for a few days and then I asked if he was ready to send them to the babies. The first night he said yes and we put them in an envelope to send away. Then he wanted one so we took one out for that night. The next morning he woke up and said I'm done with this one, can we send it to the babies. We put it in the envelope, sealed it and that was the end. At the same time I just stopped cold turkey with the 1 1/2 year old. I will say we had about a week of not going to bed so easily but then she found a stuffed animal to sleep with and it got better. It's harder on the younger one because they don't understand what is going on but you have to take both of them away at the same time. Good Luck and stay strong!

J.

Try to substitute with some kind of stuffed animal. Give him the stuffed animal and really make it special for him. Show him that the stuffed animal needs him to take care of it so he makes a connection with it. Then one day "lose" the pacifier and tell him that his stuffed animal will keep him safe and comfortable. It will be rough at first for a couple of days, but it works. Good Luck.

I'm having the same problem with my almost 2 year old and we just brought home his baby brother Monday so I'm in the same situation. My advise isn't about the older one, but a little FYI for the little one. I learned in my Lifespan Development class a few months ago that you can take away a binky from a 8-9 month old without them noticing. The text book said at that point in time in the life you don't have to ween at all, you can just take it away without the child really having any problems. I plan on trying this with my youngest son and I wanted to pass the info along to you in case you wanted to get rid of the binky before it became a big process.

H.,

You have a lot of good advice about how to transition your child from the pacifier. So I will just add that make sure you throw them out, not just hide the ones you don't mame because when he is having a bad moment, you will get really tempted to give it to him just to make your life easier.

I would get rid of all the pacifiers for both boys. 1 1/2 is already at an age where it will be difficult to get rid of it, but if little brother still has them, big brother is likely to just take his. The longer the habit, the harder it is to break.

Good luck,
S.

I guess there are a few ways you could deal with it. You could start only letting them have them at sleep times or you could just throw them all away. I told may daughter when she was 2 that she was a big girl and didn't need them any more and that we were going to throw them away. She was a little upset, but dealt with it and was fine. I just spent time talking to her and reassuring her that she wouldn't need them. She was a big girl and in her big girl bed. That was enough for her. My sister-in-law had trouble when my 2 year old nephew got his new sister. She ended up letting him have them when they were at home only and then only at bed time. It was his "reward" for using the potty to go #2 after he turned 3. Now he is off them all together. I think if you just talk to them like they are grown up they respond pretty good and are more confidant about it because they feel you see them as a big person not a baby.
I H. this helps and best wishes!

I started poking holes in the end of the pacifier to break the suction. Then slowly week by week or so I cut the tip off and a little each week until it was gone. Then I had baby #2 and my daughter also regressed so we went cold turkey so to speak. I had to push back bed time a little but as far as naps, my daughter stopped taking them around 2 years old so I don't know what to tell you on that. Good luck, taking the binkey is such a hard thing to do and they will probably cry but you just have to stick to your guns and pray!

First, I just want to say, if they're only using the pacifier for sleep, don't stress about it too much. I've spoken with a pediatric dentist and two pediatricians about it, and none of them was concerned when my 3 year old was still using the pacifier to get to sleep - in fact, they expressed more concern that if you take it away too abruptly, he could substitute with thumb-sucking, which is a much harder habit to break (you can't take away their thumbs, after all.) There's no impact on their teeth until the permanants start to come in, and as long as it's just for sleep, it's not interfering with their verbal or social development. I think we feel a lot of unnecessary guilt about the pacifier - it's a useful tool for self-soothing, and they're not going to go to kindergarten with pacifiers hanging out of their mouths.

That said, when my son was 3-1/2, he really really wanted a kick scooter, and we saw it as an opportunity to make a trade. (He had been using the pacifiers only for sleep since he was 18 mos old.) The timing came around Christmas, so we told him that Santa would love to bring him a scooter, but he could only bring the scooter to big boys who didn't use pacifiers any more. We made sure to tell him that if he wasn't ready to give up the pacifier, that was totally OK and there would be other chances to get the scooter. (The Pacifier Fairy or Easter Bunny or any other magical gift-giver works just as well.) The key here is giving them control of the situation - we talked about it for several months ahead of time, and made a specific plan about how we would leave the pacifiers for Santa on Christmas Eve, right next to the cookies. Until the moment of truth, I really wasn't sure which way he was going to go, he was very attached to the pacifiers. But he did it, all on his own - and he got his scooter! The next two weeks were a little rough, and he needed a lot more attention at nap time and bed time, mostly just wanting us to stay with him until he fell asleep. He occasionally does a little bit of finger sucking, but so far no big deal - and he goes to sleep just fine on his own now.

I suppose the real moment of truth will come when his brother is born this summer and he sees him with the pacifier - but we're really hoping since he got to CHOOSE to give it up because he's a BIG BOY, that he won't feel much conflict.

Good luck!

Hi H.,
I had this problem with my stepdaughter when she was that age and the pediatrician suggested cutting a little bit of the tip of every couple of days until she didn't want it anymore. She didn't like it after the first cut and threw it away on her own and said it was yucky. Then when I had my daughter it was a little more difficult with her so I had my mother-in-law (who makes blankets) make her a little blankey about the size of a recieving blanket. She got to pick out her own pattern and that made the transition much easier. I H. this is helpful. Good Luck!!

I find it crazy how people have such different reactions to children using a pacifier & bottle as opposed to breastfeeding. Most people will see the sucking need for a pacifier as something normal & natural & not a big deal. Breastfeeding at the age they wonder why & think it is strange. Anyways I think it is a natural thing, just limit it to nap time, bedtime etc. My almost 2 1/2 yr old is still nursing & I feel he will give it up when he is ready!
Brekka

Hi, H.! I just wanted to let you know that my 3 3/4 year old just gave up his pacifier last week. I had intended to do it in January, and our dentist kept getting after us. He only used it for naps and bedtime. And I was planning on trying to remove it before his 4th birthday in July. And then all of a sudden, he just quit asking for it. I was prepared for the long weepy battle, and there wasn't any. He's taking a little longer to go to sleep, but not more than 30 minutes.

So . . . since he is only using it for sleeping, I guess I would recommend letting him give it up when he's ready and save yourself a battle. :) The sucking motion is a wonderful self-soothing action for them, and if it allows you to have some peace while your little ones are sleeping, you will be a happier mama. I know there will be other moms who completely disagree with me, but sometimes it's nice to be able to pick your battles. There are so many more serious issues to be on top of and choose for our children. Our children have so few things they get to control; it's wonderful to see them making some choices on their own in regard to growing up. Just my own opinion. :) Good luck with whatever you choose!

God bless!

Our daughter (adopted at 14 mos) came to us using a pacifier 24/7. I was also worried about nap and bedtime w/o it, not to mention the fact that I didn't want to add any more trauma to her little world. A cousin told me about a method she used and it worked like magic for us - no tears - no trauma. The first week we poked a hole in the paci nipple. (It keeps its shape but deflates when they suck on it - they still have the paci but it does not provide quite as much satisfaction) We told DD that it was "broken". Then, every couple of days cut a strip off the top. Eventually, you are left with just the plastic handle. Our daughter carried the plastic handle around and took it to bed for a few nights until she finally just lost interest in it and that was that! This takes a few weeks but is painless. Good luck!

S.

My daughter when she was younger also was a pacifer junkie we called her so my neighbor suggested to cut the tip off all her pacifers and leave them lay around she would pick one up and try to suck it. Of course it wasn't the same and she just decided she didn't care and threw them away in the garbage herself.Worth a try! Good luck

I suggest planning a night or two when you know you may get less than normal sleeps. He may have a tough time for a couple nights. We also had TWO kids totally dependant on binkys and were about the same age as your son when we knew something had to be done. For both of them we used the BINKY FAIRY and explained that she needs binkys for lots of little babies that need binkys and how he is not a baby anymore, he's a big boy. We chose a special night (for our son it was his 3rd birthday) and had him gather all the binkys in the house and hide them under his pillow for her. Then when he woke up, the binkys were gone, but a special present was there just for him. He was a little hesitant and had a tough night that night, but he got through it. We did the same with our daughter but at an earlier age. It worked when nothing else would!

It was a year of planning with my son. When he turned 2, he still wouldn't give it up. We talked about what a big boy he will be when he turns 3 and that big boys don't use pacifiers anymore. When his birthday came, he went around the entire house finding all of the one's that he hid, and threw them away, himself.

I have heard of some people cutting the tip of the pacifier off. When they put it in their mouths, it doesn't feel the same. I had never tried it but others say it works.

When my daughter turned 3 I took her to Walmart and let her get any Barbie that she wanted and she had to pay for it with her "pluggie". We went to the register and she gave it to the lady (in a baggie) for her "money" and then I had her throw it in my bag when my daughter wasn't looking :o) Worked like a charm and when the few tears streamed down her cheeks on the way home I reminded her of the cool Barbie she had in her hands and she smiled a big smile and I never heard another word about it.
My other 3 kids didn't have them :o)
J.
Mom to 4, soon another through another adoption and hopefully more :o)

H.,
My daughter was totally and completely a pacifier user. In fact, the ONLY pacifier she used was the one she got while in the hospital at birth. You can imagine how gross it was and how many times her desperate parents found themselves crawling around on the floor to find it. Ugh. When she turned 3, she walked to the waste basket and said, "I don't want this anymore." and threw it away. Never wanted it again. (I got it out of the basket to save it, of course.)

The advice you're looking for would better line up with what we did for our son, who DIDN'T decide on his own.

We hid all but one pacifier. We cut off the tip of the remaining one. Just enough to "deflate" it. He put it in his mouth, took it out and looked at it, and put it right back in. The next day, we cut off another sliver. (the slivers looked like tiny rubberbands) We continued doing this everyday. It got hard to get the scissors in there to cut off more. My son diligently held onto it with his teeth. Finally it got to be more of a hassle for him than comfort. The little bit each day gave him time to ween a bit. It took about a week I suppose.

Now at 11, he looks at it and laughs!

H..
you just need to through them away NOW they are to old to be sucking on a pacifier it is just a habit for them and it can make them have buck teeth ask any dentest about thumb and pacifier sucking. take them to the trash can and have them through them away them selfs and tell them big boys don't need them anymore, if they have a fuss about it then you just do it someday when they are napping.

My oldest also had a pacifier until he was three because he was a late talker and would bite when he got frustrated. We also moved and had his little brother when he was 2 3/4 years old. Right before his third birthday we made a huge deal about how big he was and the fun things he could do when he turned three and how he needed to give up his pacifier so he could do big kid things. He decided to put it in the garbage can, it also happened to be garbage pick up day, so together we brought it out to the curb and he waved goodbye to his "Nooker" when the garbage men came. It was a done deal. He never asked for it during naps or bedtime and he slept fine ( he did get a little attached to one of his blankets for awhile after that). He was so proud to be a "big boy".

Of my 3 kids they didn't want the NUK. They were all younger then 5 months when they decided they didn't want it which was good in a way but sometimes I tried to get them to take it so they wouldn't cry. But anyway my little sister had troubles giving hers up so my mom told her that the momma kitty came and got it for her baby kitty to have cuz she didn't have one. That was fine with her she was happy that the baby had one. My little brother had the same problem and my mom told him that the dog ate it and he cried one night and that was the end of it.

We told our daughter that when she turned 3 she had to give up her pacifier because she was going to be a big girl. We did take it away but she gets it at night and very rarely during naps so as not to avoid total shock. She is ok with it since we didn't fully take it away, but we have a 16 month old who we are treating the same way and hopefully she won't get addicted like the other. In the mornings she'll sometimes wake up and hand it to us and say, "I don't need it now." It's a patient,learning trial.........good luck!!

My daughter had a collection of nuks so the "Nuk Fairy" started coming to our house and replacing her nuks with little toys. I paired that with slowly cutting the tip of her nuks until they were little stubs. Once she realized she could trade in her nuks for toys she was happy to leave one for the "Nuk Fairy" each night, even giving one to her twin brother one evening so he'd get a present. As the nuks became shorter and shorter she became less and less dependent on it. Yes, she'd hold the little nub of a nuk in her mouth as she fell asleep, but it wouldn't stay there all night so, stopped being a threat to her teeth. Now she has one nuk left, that she no longer puts in her mouth at all, but is keeping it for one last "Nuk Fairy" gift.

I used bribery with my oldest when he was 3. I had picked out a toy that I knew that he would love and showed him a picture of what he would go buy (with him) if he went a week without his nuk.

It was a little tough for him and he asked (okay pleaded) for it once and I just told him that if I gave it to him he couldn't get the toy. He was a champ.

It does help though that we had the rule that he could only have his nuk when he was sleeping and snuggle time on the couch when he woke up. Once he wanted to get off the couch he had to hand us his nuk.

My middle daughter we went camping and forgot her nuks (she used 2 at all times). She was 2 and it was alittle rough, but there wasn't much that we could do. We could have gone to buy somemore, but she didn't know that. When we got home she wanted them back and we told her that they were all gone.

My youngest is very attached and we haven't talked about getting rid of it yet. He just turned 2. It's tough for me because I think of him as my little baby and once he's done with the nuk that's just one more step away :( We might try the camping thing again and see how it works.

The Nu-Nu Fairy came to our house. The process went like this:

At 2 3/4 yo I started telling my son about the Nu-Nu Fairy and that when was ready to get rid of his nu-nu's he could put them in a bag, hang them in a tree and the Nu-Nu Fairy would come to take them for the new little babies. In exchange, she would leave him some great gifts. By the third time I mentioned this he announced he was ready. So we went through the process and he was so excited. He loved his toys.

Now, not everything was smooth sailing, he did ask/beg for his nu-nus on and off for 3 weeks. But I always told him, if he really wanted them back he could put the gifts back in the tree and the Fairy would take them and then return his nu-nus. He was never willing to give up his cool new toys and soon he forgot about the nu-nus.

He did go through a stage at 3.5 yo where he was chewing/sucking on his clothes so we got him a chewy tube from The Autism Shop in Hopkins. That took care of that oral need and then he didn't need it again after 6 months.

Cut the nipple off a couple of pacifiers and show them to him. They are then called broken. Teach him to throw the broken ones away. Slowly they will all break. Then there are no more. I did this for children I cared for and then my own it worked beautifully.
Good Luck and stick to it! Super Nanny also showed this method on her show.
L.