Getting Rid of the Pacifier

I don't know if you already got rid of the pacifier or not? But I got some really good advice the other day. Someone said that they brought their kid to Build-a-Bear and had their son put his pacifier in the bear and that way he could still sleep with his pacifier but in a different way and now his stuffed animal that he made would come with him wherever he wanted to go. She said it worked really well. They did it on his third birthday. Hope that helps if nothing else has worked.

T. just throw all of them away and if he cries for them let him cry he will eventually get through it.! my 11 yr old daughter was like that when she was a baby and that's what I did and 2 weeks later she did not even miss it.
C. N

I weaned my son off his pacifier telling him that we would get rid of it on his 3rd birthday, so the other new babies coming into the world could have it. (passing it along so to speak) I only gave it to him at nap time and bed time for a week and he cried (mourned actually) the loss of it for a whole week. I think I cried along with him. I introduced another "comfort item" stuffed animal, so now that he was a "big boy", no more pacifier. Just get rid of them. If they are all in the garbage, he'll cry it out and it'll be rough, but you'll be glad you did.

Tell him that when he is Ready to be A Big Boy he can have
the family help him hang it in a tree for some mythical person of his choice come take it a little baby boy who needs it.
As long as he is still a "little boy" he can keep it
but when he is a BIG boy he can decide to hang it in the tree.

For girls it can be a pink or purple fairy.. or Cinderella
or Snow White.
For a boy it might be Peter Pan or Shriek or... Thomas or
Diego

Believe me when the enticement of being a Big Boy is put out there He/She will gladly hang that binkie in the nearest
tree and grow up before your very eyes.

Have a party to celebrate the his growing up! and
make sure you don't forget to retreive the binkie after dark and dispose of it... then make a big deal of how happy that new baby is that Shriek was able to give the binkie to.
Every time he whines for the Binkie remind him of that happy little baby and what a BIG boy he is and how proud you are of him.

S. Hallam
Mother of 4 grown up past binkie users
and grandmother of 6 past and current binkie users.
Ames, Iowa

Hi T.:
My daughter came to us (adopted at 14 mo) totally attached 24/7 to her paci. Bad part was the paci was the "old fashioned" kind - not the dental friendly kind they sell here in the US. When we were in China (where our DD was adopted) we didn't think (in our whirlwind, sleep deprived, emotionally charged trip) to buy any additional pacis! You can imagine two zombie new parents to a frightened toddler walking around numerous airports on the trip home with that paci TIED with a shoelace to our clothing so we wouldn't lose it! Anyway, after a year (and her refusing any other paci but that original one) we tried the punture and gradually cutting away the nipple trick. It did work, but took some time. She even carried it clamped in her teeth for a week or two when we had cut it down to just the plastic. After that she carried it around, just holding it. She finally got bored with it and that was that. I know you said you tried cutting the tip off the paci, but did you keep going - cutting more off each day until there is only the plastic handle and no nipple to suck on? Good luck! I know your pain!

My twin boys had their pacifiers for a long time as well. I was really worried about what it was doing to their teeth- but at their 1st dental appt- (when they were 3+) there was NO problem with how their teeth came together. One of my boys gave it up as soon as I cut off the end, the other hung ON- but only had it at night. Then one day we were talking about how he wasn't a baby anymore, no more diapers and that nuks really were for babies, etc., etc. I told him one more night of the nuk and he agreed, and then he refused to even have it that night! It went WAY better than I ever expected. Maybe cold turkey will not be as bad as it seems- just say you lost it?? Can't buy anymore?? I know it is hard, but he'll get over it eventually! And if he's not ready- why not let him have it only at night for a little longer?? Good luck!

We always had two sets--one for in the crib, and another for daytime. They were different brands and looked/felt different so my son could tell the difference. We started by taking the daytime nuk away first--this was not an issue as he was easily distracted by other things and didn't miss it much. When he turned two, we took his nighttime nuks to the store and used them as currency to "buy" a "no-nukkie" toy with them. (We got the cashier in on it.) My son loved having a special toy that he thought he bought with his nuk and never missed them.

Hi T.,

I was concerned my children would go to kindergarten wth their Nuks, so we made the rule that they could have ther pacfiers in bed. They were to be used for bedtime - the sucking helps comfort them. So at our home, the pacifiers stayed in bed and if the kids wanted to use them, they sat in bed. Soon they realized that being in bed with a pacifier during the day was less fun than playing, so they used them appropriately. It made our lives so much easier! Its worth a try. Good luck!

Hang in there... he will grow out of it. Giving in is only going to make the problem worse. Get rid of all the pacifiers you have... ALL of them... that way it's not even a temptation if he throws a fit, and you can honestly tell him, they are all gone. Tell him he's a big boy now and he doesn't need them anymore.
If he has to cry all night long for 3 weeks... let him do it. Get earplugs to sleep with if you have to. He'll soon grow weary of the effort and forget about it. It's mainly a power struggle for him right now... just hang in there and it will be over with soon.
If, for some reason, this doesn't work... try the actions-rewards method. If he stops asking for his "boo" for 5 days, he can have a treat. (Give him some options... picnic at the park, going swimming, eating at Little Ceasars, a trip for ice cream, etc.)

My son was a nu-nu (pacifier) addict as well. A few months before his 3rd birthday I started talking about the Nu-Nu Fairy. I told him that when he was ready we would pack up all his nu-nus, put them in a tree for the fairy to take to other babies. In exchange she would leave him a gift. Much to my surprise, the 2nd time I mentioned it, he said he wanted to do it that day. LOL, I actually tried to talk him out of it because I wasn't sure he was quite ready, but he insisted. We bagged them all up, and hung them in a tree out back. Late that night I swapped the bag for a bag with 3 toys I knew he would adore. The next couple weeks were an adjustment and he often whined for them, but I always gave him the choice of getting them back (BUT he would have to give back all the toys the fairy left for him). He thought about exchanging but could never give up the fun toys and so within 3 weeks the nu-nus faded from memory.

One note, my son did go through a phase in that next year where he needed to chew on things (he started biting again and sucking on his shirts) so I bought him a chewy tube from The Autism Shop in Hopkins. It really helped and now he has passed through that phase on his own.

For both of my kids we used a trip out of town as a great opportunity to get rid of the pacifier. We "forget" it at home and when the child asked for it we would say we were sorry, but it got left at home. They would look sad but by the time they were old enough to understand (2 1/2 yrs old) the concept of being away from home and how we can't just drive 5 hours back to get it. And of course distraction always helps! By the time we get home, usually 4-6 days later, they had been without it the whole time. Each time we did get home they would ask for it again, but we would explain that they had gone without it all of this time and they were such big kids that they did not need it anymore. A couple tears, and then it was quickly forgotten. Kind of sneaky I know, but it worked great and it was over pretty painlessly.

I have heard this working for other kids, with pacifiers and bottles. Since your son is almost three, he may be able to comprehend this. . . tell him there are new babies at the hospital that need his pacifiers. Then take him to the nursery and have him give the pacifiers to a nurse. If you don't live near the hospital, try a church nursery, or daycare center. I also read one child had a new baby cousin, so they packed up the items (bottles) and mailed them to the new baby cousin. Hope his helps. Hang in there . . .

There is no set age when a toddler should no longer use a pacifier, so there is no need to traumatize him over it. Obviously he needs it for emotional reasons, which is impossible for anyone to understand.

When a child this young is deprived of something that gives them comfort they develop abandonment issues. Putting "bad tasting" stuff on it is abusive T. (I am sorry to have to say this).

Two years old is awfully young to be expected to self-pacify. All kids are different, but it sounds like you are going to have to let go of this one. If you don't, he'll start sucking his thumb and eventually biting his finger nails.

As far as I know pacifiers are just that. They are a security thing to pacify. :)

Both my boys had them. It was the first thing I put in my hospital bag! I got them off the bottle. Then when they went to bed they had a pan in the crib with a sippy cup of water and that is where the pacifier went. Not long after the bottle went I would tell them crib was only place for the pacifier. So if they wanted it they were put in the crib. I think that also was a nice safety zone.

Sounds like he is capable of reason. he knows that daycare doesnt allow it. He may just be stressed at the end of the day with other kids.

Maybe make a rule that he can have it on the drive home to settle in. If he needs (wants) it longer then when he arrives home he needs to climb on his bed or cuddle in the couch corner til he is ready to get up and be without. Or set a time limit.

Eventually he will feel more secure and need it less. Set up goals on a calender for when he will go from one stage to the next. like from time at home to only on the drive home, to only on certain days etc.

then make a date for it to be thrown out. I did this with my first and he had no trouble putting it in the trash on that day.

My second kept it for longer and after a few night of finding it still in the pan in the crib and not used i just took it out to see if he would notice and he never did.

Good luck and just remember - we all wish we could have some extra pacifing time after a hard day.

We went cold turkey with both of our kids. The first was easy, but our son was harder. He fussed for it for awhile, but eventually realized that he wasn't going to have it back. I wanted to give in, but my husband kept telling me that it was me that was making him want it more. Be strong and hold your ground and he will forget about it. Since my daughter slept with hers I let her pick out a stuffed animal to sleep with and that helped her. Good luck!

I agree with this said from Annette: " There is no set age when a toddler should no longer use a pacifier, so there is no need to traumatize him over it. Obviously he needs it for emotional reasons, which is impossible for anyone to understand."

I work in a daycare with kids 3 and up. Nobody has pacifiers, but the thumb suckers still suck their thumbs at rest time and occasionally I have to remind them to take it out during play time. Thumbs are much worse on the teeth, imho.

What worked for us: child one was taking nuks only at sleeping times by the time he was 16 mos. We took it away for a few weeks but while he didn't beg for it, he didn't sleep well either and that was more important to us so we gave it back. When he was a few months past 3 I asked him if he wanted to ask Santa for a big boys bike (16"), but he'd have to give up his nuks if Santa brought it. He liked the idea. Christmas morning he came out, saw the bike, and before he even tested it out went back to his room and put the nuks in the garbage!
DD2 was much more needy, still is at 11. While she didn't ever take it to preschool, she had it much of the day otherwise at least til 3 1/2. I think we started weaning/limiting her but she would often sneak up and get it during the day. She just NEEDED that comfort! A bit past 4 we offered to let her trade her nuks for payment at the pet store for a hamster. She agreed, handed the sales person the nuks and was happy with her new pet. She did end up sucking on her blanket quite often which I found more disgusting, but it was only when I couldn't usually see (during sleep)
Neither DD3 nor I can remember what we did with hers, but I'm sure it was a trade just under age 3. She only used them at night.
I think cutting them causes more germs and gas, so be careful with that. don't sweat it, if he's not using it at day care then he won't need it for preschool. Just try to teach him they need to stay under his pillow once he turns 3 only to come out for sleep. a few months later ask about a trade or the Nuk fairy or something.

It wasn't planned this way, but we took our kids to a hotel for a family outting. They swam and played in the pool all weekend. My son was so tired he fell asleep with out his nuk all three nights. It was only on the car ride home he fussed for it. We entertained him with other thigs and made it home. The next few nights he fussed for it a little but did end up going to sleep without it. After about three nights at home he forgot about his nuk. We threw them away. We always keep stuff in the car to entertain him, bboks, small toys, cars. Good luck, I know how hard it is when they are crying not to give in but it will get better.

Hello, My daughter who is now 3 1/2 was also very attached to her pacifier. We tried to ween her off before she turned three by only allowing its use for nap time or bed time. You could put something that has a pocket by the bed and that is where they place it when they wake up. For a month before she turned three we told her she would be a big girl and wouldn't need her pacifier anymore. She would even say it herself that when she had her birthday and turned three her pacifier would go away. Then after her birthday we got a paper sack and she put all her pacifiers in it, on the outside we wrote a letter to the pacifier fairy and said Dear Pacifier Fairy, Here are my pacifiers I will no longer need them since I turned three. I am a big girl now and am giving them to you. I even had her decorate the bag and put her name on it. (which at the time was little scribbles). Then we placed it outside her door before she crawled into bed. In the morning when she woke up she found a present from the fairy. She was so excited about her gift. She did cry for a couple of nights but we talked about what we did with her pacifiers and she would remember that she gave them to the pacifier fairy and she was three and didn't need them. (She had also just started preschool, so we were determined to say bye to them). After a few days she quite asking about them and then would tell people how she gave them to the pacifier fairy and how the fairy left her a present. It was very hard for her to give them up but I think since we talked about how she needed to get rid of them a lot leading up to the day we did the fairy experience helped a lot. (We also waited a few days after the birthday to give them to the fairy when the excitment of all the new toys had simmered down. Good luck! (This is just what worked for us.)

(Mommy to 3 1/2 year old, 18 month old and 2 month old all girls, I have my hands full)

My daughter was totally and completely a pacifier user. In fact, the ONLY pacifier she used was the one she got while in the hospital at birth. You can imagine how gross it was and how many times her desperate parents found themselves crawling around on the floor to find it. Ugh. When she turned 3, she walked to the waste basket and said, "I don't want this anymore." and threw it away. Never wanted it again. (I got it out of the basket to save it, of course.)

The advice you're looking for would better line up with what we did for our son, who DIDN'T decide on his own.

We hid all but one pacifier. We cut off the tip of the remaining one. Just enough to "deflate" it. He put it in his mouth, took it out and looked at it, and put it right back in. The next day, we cut off another sliver. (the slivers looked like tiny rubberbands) We continued doing this everyday. It go hard to get the scissors in there to cut off more. My son diligently held onto it with his teeth. Finally it got to be more of a hassle for him than comfort. The little bit each day gave him time to ween a bit. It took about a week I suppose.

Now at 11, he looks at it and laughs!

Our daughter was super attached to her pacifier and we were so afraid to make her part with it that we held off until she turned 3. She wasn't allowed to have it at daycare, but could have it at naptime and then insisted on having it from the moment we picked her up until we dropped her off the next day. She was so in love with it, that I felt guilty making her part with it; particularly since her brother is a thumb sucker and we can't enforce the same with him. BUT, I couldn't stand seeing this big girl with a nuk in her mouth any longer.

Here's what we did.. About three months before her 3rd birthday we started talking about how she would have to give it up on her 3rd birthday and that we would send it to baby Jesus to give to another baby. Then a week before the big day, we made a chain of paper rings and took one off each day to let her visualize how many more days were left. We also asked daycare to talk to her a lot and tell her that she was going to be such a big girl now, etc. On the day of, we bought a big bunch of helium balloons and tied her two nuks to it and let her send them up into the sky. I apologize if this was environmentally wrong, but she had so much fun doing this and was so immensely proud of herself! She jumped up and down and was happy to give her nuks to Jesus. That night she woke up once and whined for her nuk but we had to remind her that she sent them away. From there...WE NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD ABOUT IT!

Part of me things that we worried way too much, but I do think that preparing her was the key. I didn't have the heart to go cold turkey and make her feel punished about it. She was given a lot of time to process what was going to happen and deal with it. We had a number of conversations that reinforced it in her head prior to the day and then she was ready and very proud of her capabilities in the end.

Whatever you decide to do, it will be easier than you fear. Just prepare him and then make sure there are no ways to revert backwards. Look for every last nuk under the couch beforehand! Good luck!

Hi T. :)

I read this advice from another mamsource mom (who replied to someone asking the same question) and thought it was a super cute idea. Unfortunately I can't remember her name to give her credit...but this was her suggestion:

Take him to Build-A-Bear and have him make a bear and put his pacifier inside of it. Hopefully he will be comforted by knowing it's close by...but will cuddle with the bear instead of wanting his pacifier :)

Good luck!

One night the binky fairy came a took my daughter's pacifier and left her a new toy (Dora the explorer, something that she really loved at the time). We talked about it for days before hand so that she would be emotionally ready for it. She went to bed knowing that the binky fairy was coming and leaving her a toy. We praised her days afterwards for being such a big girl without a binky. Her favorite binky went into her keepsake/memory box.

Hi, I cant say for sure if this is going to help or not but this is what we are doing with our daughter and it seems to help a bit although it's a bit slower moving. If she wants the pacifier she can have it although she has to sit in a special place. We tried to pick somewhere there is no toys and nothing really interesting to look at or do. As long as she sits there she can have it the moment she moves from that spot she has to give it up. We've been doing this for a couple of weeks and it seems to be working, she understands that she is not allowed to have it anywhere else, but the option is still there.. I have noticed cause she is more interested in doing other things that she is ok without the pacifier for longer and longer periods, now she only uses it when she really gets upset and she needs to calm down. I dont know what to say about the night time thing she is still allowed to have it then. I think having the option to have it if absolutely needed but they choose not to use it works well for us.. just an idea.. I hope you can figure it out..

I did the "Pacifier Fairy trick". I had my daughter collect all her plugs and put in a bag, We than tied them to a tree branch and told her that if we gave them to the Plug Fairy that he would give them to another child that needed them and would leave you a gift or treat. The next morning when my husband left for work he put something special in there. She did just fine. With my son, we were able to give them to my infant nephew. We told my son that he was getting too big for his plug, and that He needed to give them to his cousin who needed them. WE went to dinner with my sister and my son gave up his plugs really easy, just a little whinning but he forgot about them eventually. Good Luck I know how hard it is to get rid of them

My son had his until just after he turned 3yrs old. However, he only got in when he was in bed.
We just slowly took it away and he eventually forgot about it.

With my oldest son, he loved his binkie, I weaned him off of it! He was not allowed to have it during waking hours at first, then I took it away at nap time and then eventually I quit giving it to him at bed time too! I'd explain that he was being such a big boy now and, that big boys don't need binkies to go to bed! He was a little upset at first but, really it wasn't much of a battle by then, he gave it up that night for good! Good luck!