2 Week Old Baby and I Feel Sad and Overwhelmed. When Will This Feeling End?

Keep it on this channel, we'll get you through it!

We've ALLLL been there!

Those hormones will be leveling off eventually. Don't worry, you CAN do it!

:)

I had major anxiety with the first. I always say he smiled at 6 weeks and I smiled at 8 weeks! It will get better. Give the ob a call and if he dismisses it like mine did, insist he deal with it. I told mine I cried every day and he didn't do a thing. Keep talking till either you get help or feel better!

The ladies here have covered all the bases - what great advice - but I just wanted to give you a great big "You Can Do It!"
and a cyber **Hug**

Could be just baby blues, or it could be postpartum depression. Please talk to your OB about it. None of us can tell you which it is. I had PPD after each of my 4 children were born. I didn't recognize it the 1st time- figured it was just baby blues, but it DIDN'T go away, and I needed to go on meds. Wish I had talked to the doctor sooner because I felt cheated out of those weeks- I couldn't enjoy them.

Do whatever you need to do to simplify everything. We used paper cups and plates. I had to let the house go a little. We got quite a bit of take-out for several months. Did really easy things on the other days- like pasta w/ a jar of sauce and a bag of ready to eat lettuce and frozen garlic bread.

Do the grocery shopping when DH is home and can stay with the kids. It gets you out of the house and gives you a break- and you are still getting something done that needs to be done. Do you have someone that can come over once in awhile to watch the baby- mom, sister, SIL, friend- so you can get caught up on sleep? Sleep deprivation makes depression worse.

If you enjoy nursing, that's great, BUT if it stresses you out, switch to formula. If the choice is between a happy mom and breastmilk, a happy mom is so much more important for a baby's well-being. I felt like a load was lifted from my shoulders when I switched to formula. Even though I had to because of the meds I was on (this was 12 years ago), I still felt guilty initially. I soon realized it was a good decision for me- everyone's different.

Either way- whether it's baby blues or PPD, you'll feel like yourself again (with meds, of course, if it's PPD) It won't be like this forever- you'll get a new groove- it just takes a little time so don't be too hard on yourself.
Hang in there! You'll be ok :o)

Lord a lot of this going around.

Okay.

I am going on the assumption you have held jobs.

Remember when you started a new job? Even the easiest job, you have a learning curve. The first day of work you are so excited and then you realize you don't know how to do this job. Yes it was like your old job and now you are being paid more. You know how to do this but you don't know who the gossip is and you don't have your best friend from your old job and you are trying to feel your way around without looking like you are clueless.

What you are going through is very much like that except you don't know this new child. Will she wake up at the same time as the first, will she be fussy, will she ...... You will find your groove just like all of us do when we are faced with new challenges.

First of all relax. It is okay to be all over the place. Don't worry about asking your husband for help, he wants to help just like a new coworker wants to help you but neither knows where you need help because it is all new.

I have four kids and not one of them is like the other. It is okay to start all over even if you had a perfect groove before. You will find a new groove and then have more kids? a dog? trust me something will come up. :)

It will end!!! Dont be upset with yourself for feeling like this - it is totally normal. With a two week old, your hormones are still crazy and out of wack. Give yourself a break. Your husband and son need to have patience with YOU, not the other way around.
1)Dont clean the house.
2) Dont exercise
3)Order out (no cooking or grocery shopping needed).

If your house is a mess and your family lives on pizza for a month, its not the end of the world.

You will start feeling better in a month (if you dont, talk to your doctor).

For now, just take care of the baby and make sure your toddler doesnt set fire to the house.

Dont worry about other moms and what they are doing. No one is doing great the first two weeks, and if they ARE, they are probably popping a couple extra of the pain pills they give you at the hospital.

Give yourself a break and enjoy your baby girl. Dont worry about the rest.

ASK for help. ask friends, neighbors, family. Dont be afraid to say "I'm not feeling up to par yet" People will understand! Some would love to cuddle a little baby while you get out of the house and grocery shop. Families with a 2 yr old might offer take your older one to the park with them which would burn off a little energy and give him fresh air. A neighbor could pick up something at the grocery store when she goes. Just let people know you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted They know you just gave birth and they will feel sympathetic, do not be embarrassed to ask! and if you ask a few people and they are too busy to help then ASK other people I'm sure there are people in your community who would be glad to help! Dont try to do it alone. In the old days you would have had family around you at this time, no one would have expected you to do it alone while hubby worked. this is a phenomonem (SP?) of the modern nuclear family. If you have no family you have to create family with friends and neighbors. You could even hire a cheap mother's helper ( a 12 year old to come over after school and take your 2 yr old out in the back yard!) Hope you find support!

You now have TWO! I felt that way after my O. (and only) and I was 39 when I had him. You are learning your new baby. You will. Things will get better. You can do this! I promise. Hang in there, Mama!

I remember feeling like that. Heck, I still feel like that sometimes. Having two is a lot more stress. First, give yourself permission to not be perfect for a while. Things like cleaning will just have to wait. Second, get someone to relieve you for a while, even if you have to get a babysitter. This is imperative! Take breaks when the kids nap. Try to get them to nap at the same time. Finally, go to your obgyn and tell him this right now. There are medicines that can help. I had to work on my hormones for a while. It seems like the 2nd one always screws them up. Good luck.

yes it will get easier, keep in mind the people you think have it all together are probably just as overwhelmed as you are... at this age (2 weeks) each week will seem like a world of change, then each month then every three months will be HUGE differences till the 2 week old turns two years old then it will just fly by you from there on out. I have three boys 10, 9, and 5 and it seems like just yesterday I was in your shoes. be mindful of the "depression" or the Blues, and get help when needed, I had issues, postpartum depression, for 9 months after each of my births and my miscarriage as well, I used counseling instead of medication, which helped me, but keep it in check, so it doesn't get to far out of hand.

it does get better, i think it helps to recognize postpartum for what it is rather than deny it. beset of luck

It sounds like you have post-partum depression :( I remember feeling the same way after my first and I don't care what anyone says you need to talk to your OB. I was on Lexapro for like 2 months just to even things out, PPD is actually a chemical imbalance in your brain and it doesn't just get better. I promise once you get your hormones straightened out you'll feel 100% better and way more put together! Good luck!

Many Moms feel completely overwhelmed, exhausted and cranky after having a new baby... doesn't have to be postpartum depression - but definitely would not hurt to talk to your OB and General Practitioner about it. Most anti-depressant medications are completely breastfeeding compatible too!!

You may be experiencing post-partum depression. It is fairly common and can range from being mildly symptomatic to full-blown psychosis. Either way, you may wish to make an appointment with your ob/gyn to discuss the issues. PPD is a real health issue; it is not something in your head or just simply 'figuring it out'. Your ob/gyn can help by either reassuring you, referring you to a counselor, or referring you to another doctor if necessary.

You may also wish to Google Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale and answer the questions (you'll probably have to do this at your 6 week appointment and also at your child's well-baby visits). This may give you some insight as to your mental/emotional state and whether you need to seek help/treatment.

Don't be afraid to keep reaching out for help. Things can and will get better!

This is probably so overwhelming because you felt so together before the new little one. #1 Lower your expectations about the house even if it drives you nuts or else daddy and/or housekeepers need to step up to help you out instead. Yeah there are women who do these things but alot of them feel like you while doing it. #2 --if you can nap when baby naps--don't do housework. If need be do the housework while she is awake and put her in a good sling or carrier to do what you need to do.

Last October, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl, and I have a 3 year old son. I have to say, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Guilty for even thinking "what was I thinking" because I now have this daughter I wanted but desperately wishing things would go back to normal. My first piece of advice, call your OB. Call your OB, CALL YOUR OB! Most of what you're experiencing sounds like anxiety, and there are lots of options to help with that anxiety. And, yes, just like with your first child, it gets better. My daughter is 7 months old now and we're finally getting settled into our routine. You're in my prayers, because that was also the only other thing that got me through this hard time.

Hey! You've just had a baby!!!! Can you spell h-o-r-m-o-n-e-s? Your body is trying to go back to the unpregnant stage. As it does, your emotions go up and down with it. Back in the old days---way back, women were confined to bed for several weeks. I'm not sure that isn't a very good idea!!! Just try to delegate the chores and focus on your little one---and the toddler, of course, but don't be critical of yourself. You'll get through this and gradually be able to do more. I think we expect entirely too much of ourselves these days. I know I did when I had mine.

I SO totally feel you!!! I felt like I was actually going to go crazy when I had my second! My first was 2.5 when babe 2 came a long. It was so much harder than I could have dreamed!! BUT, not I am pregs with number three, so I guess we survived! LOL :D It does sound like the ole' hormones are having a hay day, they will settle down. So many people told me at that time, just kick the mess aside and do only what was necessary. That was the time in my life when I started the every other day shower routine!! I will say after I weaned my baby I was so much more on top of things. You are doing something so huge and awesome to be nursing your little one and caring for your older child as well. You will make it! I don't think you are any different than any mama out there who is so overloaded when the second comes around. I definitely had to loosen up and accept a little more chaos :D I wish you the best, of course always talk to your doctor if it goes on too long or you feel intense feelings or depression or find yourself crying everyday etc. If you need help, there is absolutely no shame in asking for it! But everything you described sounds totally normal and yes it does get better. Hang in there!

Oh, honey. Your baby is only 2 weeks old, AND you have a 2 year old! Of COURSE you feel overwhelmed! The best advice I can give you is to get your newborn on an eat-play-sleep schedule as quickly as you can (BabyWise or whatever method you prefer). That will allow you to live life in a more orderly fashion and to know what's coming and when.

Aside from that, yep, having 2 kids is about 100 times harder than having 1 kid! It is what it is, just surrender yourself over to the craziness! LOL On the bright side, every other mom on the planet has felt what you are feeling. You will notice, the next time you have your crying baby and whiny toddler at the grocery store, that other moms of 2 or more kids will NOT be looking down our noses at you! We will be looking at you with an "Oh, I remember those days!" or an "Oh, SO glad I lived through that stage!" sort of look.

Hang in there! It will get better! As a side note, if you still feel weepy after the next week or so, you may have post-partum depression. If so, please tell your doctor - s/he can prescribe meds that will help immensely! I had to do that with my second baby (and should have with my first, but didn't know any better). Take a deep breath... this too shall pass!

Your feelings are very natural. It's only been 2 1/2 weeks and going from 1 to 2 children is a very big deal. And you are suffering from "super-mom" complex and super hormonal shifts. I remember feeling the exact same way when my second child was born. I'm guessing that you feel super guilty that your not spending enough time with your older child and your thinking of the long-term psychological impact it will have on him, and you think you should just be able to do everything the way you did before and baby needs to fit right into that schedule. But realistically it doesn't work that way and that is OK. Your family will eventually find its new rhythm/schedule. But think back to when your son was born; life with a newborn is very chaotic (at least it always was for me!).

I say this to you because we eventually went on to have child #3, and those early weeks with her were a much better experience than with my second child because I had already experienced that transition and knew what to expect and was better prepared, and learned to take those deep breaths and tell myself "it's OK, it's only temporary." Don't get me wrong . . . it wasn't perfect (still had to deal with sleep deprivation and hormonal swings which certainly wreaks havoc on a person's temperment!).

Feeling this way after only 2 1/2 weeks is fine and normal. If, however, it extends for months then you should seek professional help.

well in the first place you still should be resting. You had a baby 2 weeks ago. There is no need for you to be super mom. Yes you will get to a place were you'll feel better. I have 4 kids and felt the same way after we brought home each. I learned to not sweat the small stuff. Let your husband and friends help you out. Mostly get rest and concentrate on the new little person in your life. You'll find as you get rest everything else will fall into place!

Oh yes, your feelings of being overwhelmed is completely normal! I went thru that after our 3rd child! It will take a while, but you will get back on a routine again and those feelings will slowly subside. Dont forget to make time for just "you", that is very important. Just b/c you are a new mommy again doesnt mean you have to be at everyone's beck and call! So, taking a warm bath alone, or reading a book for an hour is very good for you! Just taking an hour alone, a breather... its so very important!

btw.... CONGRATS ON THE LITTLE SWEET PEA!

You're being really hard on yourself--you have a 2-week-old baby. It's going to take some adjusting. I don't know if this applied to you, but the first six weeks of adjusting to any baby is very hard.

Please talk with your OB--let him/her determine if there's something more serious going on.

Something else to consider--you are trying to do too much. Set one goal a day and allow yourself to enjoy the success of accomplishing it. (e.g. Took son to school on time.). You are adjusting to a new life and you will get it all together. You just can't get it all done right now.

Nobody is successful with two kids right out of the gate. Unless you have a bank of nannies working for you. And even then, not so sure it's easy. :-)

Good luck.

You know it will get better! One month is going to make a big difference-six months is going to make a world of difference-before you know it, you'll be driving them to college! Don't be blue-you're not alone-it is overwhelming-I didn't remember how difficult it was until my Grandson was born-days would go by when the two of us-my daughter and I -had not showered or combed our hair-a daily goal was just to brush our teeth-or make some kind of meal! Take care!

Don't have much advise, just to say that I'm right there with you. I have a 3 wk old and a 4 yr old. Your feelings describe mine perfectly. I feel like everyone wants something from me and I'm stretched very thin. My patience is, too! I know for sure that I am having MAJOR anxiety issues that started during the last part of my pregnancy. Going to talk to my OB about it at my next visit. I just try to remind myself that this is all temporary. When I feel overwhelmed, I just tell myself that I need to find "the balance". Still trying to find it, by the way :). Try to allow yourself lots of time to adjust. Know that you're not alone!!

Take time to enjoy your baby, toddler, and husband. The house can be messy. If you get something in your body, even ice cream, great! My suggestion is learn to live with chaos and enjoy it. Make a new normal! You can do it. Ease into it. Just try to do the essentials for now: get your toddler dressed and take him/her to school. You can drive in your sweats and babies don't have to be dressed (pj's are OKAY). If you have to get donuts on the way, I'm sure the little person won't mind. When your husband gets home, take a break for yourself to shower or do whatever YOU need. Not what others need. Have faith in yourself, ask for help when needed, give yourself time, and see the humor in the chaos. It will all be a memory someday. One you will smile about when you think of tiny toes and a sweet little nose.

You will get there my dear,

realistically the first 3 months will be full on, by four months things will seem much much easier! My son is almost 3 and my daughter is now 8 months and they can play together now - it is so lovely! You will get there it will not be this hard for too long take a deep breath and get some time to yourself, even if it is only ten minutes out of the house for a stroll

all the best

Join a mops group or early pta group so u can get together with moms that are going through the same things you are but first grab a girlfriend get dressed and beautiful and go grab some coffee or dinner without the kids. You need a little time away to regenerate and refresh yourself. There is nothing wrong with that..I need to do it more often LOL
You might actually miss the kiddos and want to rush home after. Good luck