2 Year Old Acting Out After Seeing Father.

I do not have to deal with this personally, but I am wondering if she could feel like you are "leaving her" becasue you are letting them have their own time and you are engaged in something different. I would have thought to do the same thing, and let them have personal interaction, but, maybe she needs everyone together for a few times before she feel at ease with you out of the room. At this age, you are her comfort item, and in a new or uncomfortable situation, she may need you more that she can verbalize, or for that matter even realizes. But her negative behavior towards you could be a sign that she feels some sort of "abandonment" issues. I use quotations because I dont dare suggest that you are actually making her feel left alone, or abandoned, but that her sense of reality toward the situation make cause those feelings. And, of course I am sure you know this, never let her sense any negativity from you about her father at this point. If she has over heard a comment, or feels your tension about the relationship, she could be reacting to that. God bless you for your efforts, and your ability to recognize that she is in some sort of distress, that is what a good mom does!! Good luck! ~A.~

It could be her just missing her Daddy and not knowing how to express it. My husband is in the military and has currently left again. My daughter has started "acting" out a little more, usually when she see's pictures of Daddy or when she's able to talk to him on the phone. Almost like she knows things are different, but not knowing how to explain it. You ask her now where is Daddy and she responds w/ Daddy is pirate. (B/c he's on a boat at the moment). So children see things totally different than we do. Just be firm and loving. I do this w/ my lil girl. I've noticed that the unusual "acting out" period is decreasing. I do try to hold her a little more after one of the times she gets to talk to Daddy. Seems to help. Good luck! I know this must be very hard.....

i think if you continue to punish her for acting out like this she will eventually understand. but you have to be consistent with your punishments. find something that she truly enjoys & take it away. also, you must stick to your punishment or she will not take you seriously. i had this problem with my daughter when she would visit her grandparents. she eventually learned through punishment that it was unacceptable behavior.

she probrably is dealing with some seperation issues. however, you still have to teach them what is & is not acceptable. no matter what the situation you have to teach your children that there are consequences for their actions. make sure she knows that she hurt your feelings & ask her why she did it? she will probrably not have an answer since she is so young but make sure she knows her feelings are important & they matter.

Hi M. - I understand completely where you are coming from. From my experience this behavior is normal. I am in pretty much the same situation but my son's dad gets him every other weekend or so. I have learned that when he comes home he needs some chill out time and my attention. I cannot expect him like go to Grandma's, grocery store or anything because he will have a melt down. I think this is the only way they can deal with these unexplained feelings. As much as they need and want to see their Dads it is emotional for them. Hang in there it will getter easier on all of you. Just continue to let her know that you love her and that her Daddy loves her. The best advice I have ever received has been to be careful and not say anything negative or bad about their Dad. I know that is hard because when you are dealing with an alcoholic they can make us so frustrated. Feel free to contact me directly if you need to talk to someone in the same situation. My son's dad is complete denial that he is an addict. I will be praying for you and your daughter.

S.

I am the full the full time step-mom of three kids who visit their mom in Austin a few weekends a month. Divorce is so incredibly unimaginably hard on kids. When my husband and I decided to get married and put the kids through change we got counseling for the whole family. Obviously your daughter is young so it would probably be just you. But we learned a ton of stuff about how to deal with and talk to the kids. Even at 2 your dughter is going through extreme separation. She feels this.
My husband moved to dallas and in with his parents for support when one of the kids was 3 and the other two were 18 months. The 18 month old would fall in the floor and scream and cry whenever her grandfather would leave the house. And it had a whole lot to do with change and separation.
The best thing we ever did was get counseling for ourselves and the kids. My husband wishes he had a lot sooner.
We went and still go to the Salesmanship Club Youth and family center (they have info online). They have a location in Oak Cliff and one off of harry hines. They are wonderful. The price you pay is entirely based on what you can afford. They are very technique driven, meaning they offer real advice on what to say and do in situations. I cannot speak highly enough of this place. We would be an entirely different family without their help.

this type of behavior is quite normal, especially given her age. I have a step-daughter who is 8 and up until recently, her mom always had to deal with 1-2 days of post-visit unusual behavior. Assuming his interactions with her are appropriate, the more he visits and the older she gets, the easier it will become.

As she becomes more verbal, the easier it will get too.

M.,
I am wondering if you know about the Family Resource Center of North Texas. They have a program for families going through divorce when children are involved and that might be able to help you and your child to come through this in tact. Here is the contact information: For Kids Sake seminar there's more info on the website www.familyresource-nt.org.
J.